Thick black school

Chapter 63
During the reign of Kangxi in the Qing Dynasty, Zhang Ying, who was called "Prime Minister Zhang", and a servant surnamed Ye lived next to each other. Dissatisfied, causing disputes.The Zhang family immediately sent a chicken feather letter to Zhang Ying in the capital, asking him to intervene, but Zhang Ying wrote a poem: "The family letter from thousands of miles away is just a wall, so why not let it go three feet? The Great Wall is still there today, and Qin Shihuang of the past is not seen." When Mrs. Zhang saw this letter from the family, she immediately ordered people to step back three feet to build the wall, and the Ye family also stepped back three feet in deep respect.In this way, the relationship between the two families has changed from the former Sanchi Alley to Liuchi Alley, which has been passed down as a good story by the people.

"Cai Gen Tan" pointed out, "Where the path is narrow, leave a step for others to walk; if the taste is strong, subtract three points for others to taste. This is the ultimate peace and happiness in the world." This sentence is intended to illustrate the virtue of humility.Concession in everything seems to be a disadvantage on the surface, but in fact the gain from it must be more than the loss.As a human being, you should also take a longer view, so that the road of life will become wider and wider.

We all know that everyone has different wisdom, experience, values, and life background, so when getting along with others, whether it is in terms of interests or right and wrong, fighting is inevitable.

Around us, we often encounter such and other struggles and competitions. Even if you have no intention of "fighting", you will still involuntarily fall into the vortex of struggle under the constant pressure of others.However, once most people fall into the vortex of fighting, they will "get out of hand". On the one hand, it is for the sake of face, and on the other hand, it is for the benefit, so once they get the "reason", they will not forgive others, and they must force the other party to withdraw their troops or raise a white flag. Surrender is not possible.However, although "being right and not forgiving" will allow you to trumpet victory temporarily, it will also be the prelude to the next battle-the "defeated" opponent loses face and benefits, and of course he has to "ask" for it back.Such "you come and I go", the result can only be continuous disputes and mutual losses.

It is common for two people to discuss each other and stick to their own opinions, but the truth is not deceiving, and there are no two faces.In this case, it should be handled with care and tact.Sometimes it is advisable to stand on the other side's standpoint, carefully revise your own views, and examine your own motives from the perspective of other people's thoughts.Only then will you not blindly condemn others or blindly justify yourself.

Xiao Wang and Xiao Mei are a couple who have been dating for two years. Although Xiao Wang has a strong personality, his temper is still mild.Because Xiaomei is very eloquent, if there is a dispute with Xiao Wang, no matter who is right or wrong, Xiao Wang will always "lose" and get angry.

Once, the two quarreled over another matter, and because Xiao Wang was unable to fight each time, he had no choice but to adopt a silent tactic. No matter what Xiaomei said, he just remained silent.Xiaomei did not withdraw her troops because of this, but instead pressed Xiao Wang for her "intent" in this move. After asking for half an hour, Xiao Wang finally said:

"Then let's break up!"

Xiaomei is also a person with a strong personality, so she agreed to break up on the spot.

In fact, this is not the result Xiaomei wanted.

Between people, especially when emotions are involved, it is sometimes difficult to understand who is right and who is wrong, and there is no need to understand too much, because right and wrong are often subjective determinations, and subjective It was also affected by the atmosphere at the time, my own emotions, and the experience of getting along with the two.Therefore, it is no big deal at all, and it is not even a "wrong" thing at all. After the effect of subjective consciousness, it will become complicated. If you insist on "arguing" clearly on this, one party will be criticized harm.

Therefore, in a verbal confrontation with others, it is best to avoid arguing without arguing. If arguing is necessary, it should not be too sharp. Unless it is a debate contest or a matter of life and death is involved, it is not necessary to push the opponent into a corner. Because the opponent will fight back in order not to appear weak.

Most of those who love to talk quickly are impetuous and accustomed to criticizing others. In their inner world, there is no word "forbearance" at all.As long as things don't go well, I will curse at things and people when I see them, in order to relieve the worries in my chest.But they didn't even think that when their anxious emotions were vented, how would the scolded feel?For those who have a quick tongue, the most important thing is to constantly cultivate their patience and consider issues from the other party's standpoint.

Thick Black New Mysteries

As the saying goes, being convenient to others is convenient to yourself, being aggressive and incompetent are the most likely to offend others and cause disasters. As long as the people who work with others are angry with you, they may turn against you.But if you are reasonable, you will win the gratitude and respect of others. When you are reasonable, you will give up three points. This will not only give others face, but also leave yourself a way out.Don't be too ruthless, and don't be too ruthless in doing things, which is an important "management of life" in Houheiology.When conflicts arise with others, if you handle things and treat each other with an open mind, the situation will often develop on the positive side.Although you have the right to "don't forgive others when you are justified", why not "forgive others when you are justified"?Make way for the other party, let the other party have a step to go down, save some face and a foothold for him, and it will be beneficial to your future without any harm.

A loss is a blessing, and a greedy person will suffer a big loss.
[Zongwu Mantra] The knowledge of thick black learning is very simple, but it is very magical to use. Small use is small and effective, and great use is effective.

When Zheng Banqiao was the magistrate of Weixian County, his cousin sued his neighbors for a section of the wall foundation of his ancestral house, and asked him to write to Xinghua County to win the lawsuit.After Zheng Banqiao read the letter, he immediately wrote a poem back: "A thousand miles of books are a wall, so why not let him be a few feet? The Great Wall is still there today, and Qin Shihuang was not seen." Later, he wrote "It's rare to be confused"" Suffering is a blessing" two words, and a few lines of words are added under "suffering is a blessing": "The one who is full will lose the opportunity, the one who loses will gradually gain, and the one who loses himself will gain from the other. Each gets half of his mood, and If you have peace of mind, you will have peace, and happiness will be there.”

Suffering, as the name suggests, is to be taken advantage of by others, and one's own interests are lost.In dealing with the world, there are gains and sacrifices, but the gains and sacrifices cannot be equal every time, and there are gains and losses, but there will be no total gains, and it will not be total losses, but there will be losses in the gains, and gains in the losses.Suffering is the balance between gain and effort, the rationality of gain and loss.

In life, there is no loss at all. People who want to take advantage everywhere, although they strive for their own interests everywhere, but they lose the hearts of the people and foreign aid. In the end, they will betray their relatives and be isolated and helpless.Only those who are not afraid of suffering and are willing to suffer can live in harmony with others, win people's hearts, and thus obtain the greatest rewards.

During the Song Dynasty, Li Shiheng worked in the pavilion and once went to Korea as an envoy, and a general served as his deputy envoy.Li Shiheng didn't care about the many gifts and property presented by the Korean side, and just handed it over to the deputy envoy for management.Before departure, the deputy envoy found that there was water seepage through the gaps in the bottom of the boat. The deputy envoy quietly put the silk pad obtained by Li Shiheng on the bottom of the boat, and then put his own gift on it to prevent his things from getting wet.When the ship was in the middle of the sea, the wind and waves were rough, and the ship was too heavy, which was very dangerous. The crew asked to throw away all the loaded things, otherwise the ship would capsize and people would die.The deputy envoy was also very flustered, so he hurriedly threw the things on the ship into the sea.When about half of the things were lost, the wind and waves subsided and the ship stabilized.After checking, all the belongings of the deputy envoy were lost, and Li Shiheng's belongings were intact except for a little damp because they were placed on the bottom of the boat.It can be seen from this story that Li Shiheng suffered a loss at first, but turned out to be a vested interest.

Houheixue believes that when people get along with each other, if a person never wants to suffer, but only knows to take advantage, in the end, he is likely to become a person who really suffers.

It is reported that a quite accomplished scientific research engineer once took advantage of the project and received tens of thousands of kickbacks from the project. He was sentenced to prison for taking bribes, lost his public office, and even lost his salary.Originally, he was paid more than 3000 yuan a month. Under normal circumstances, he can live to be over 70 years old. Based on the salary of 3 yuan that the state sends him every year, how much is 20 years? How much is 30 years?For a mere tens of thousands of yuan, more than 100 million yuan was lost.What is even more tragic is that because of his imprisonment, his white-haired old mother went blind in a hurry, and his wife died of an incurable disease.

When collecting tens of thousands of yuan from others, the engineer thought he had taken advantage of it, but in fact he suffered a big loss.Disadvantages and benefits in life often exist at the same time and accompany each other.

Gang Qiang and Han Xing are neighbors at the opposite door. I don’t know whose chicken laid an egg in the middle of the road between the two families. Gang Qiang happened to see this egg when he was about to pick it up. When the family came out, Han Xing stepped forward and asked: "Why do you pick up the eggs laid by my chicken?" He said stubbornly and unconvinced: "Why do you say that your chickens laid them, but my chickens laid them. "Both of them refused to be courteous, and you quarreled with each other sentence by sentence. Han Xing saw that his mouth was not as fast as Gangqiang, so he raised his hand and slapped Gangqiang. He stabbed Han Xing's abdomen, but Han Xing died on the spot. His strong behavior violated the law and he was arrested by the public security organ.Two days later, the more Gang Qiang thought about what he had done, the more he felt useless, so he committed suicide and died.

A man went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and bargained with the vegetable owner. The vegetable owner disagreed. After some disputes, the vegetable owner finally agreed to give him a discount.When he saw that the owner of the dish gave him one yuan and twenty cents for less change, he was full of dissatisfaction.The owner of the dish said: "If you want to buy it, buy it, if you don't buy it, you will leave it." The man was furious when he heard it: "I still don't buy it, what's the matter with you?" After speaking, he threw the vegetables on the ground and was about to leave.Seeing this, the dish owner hurriedly chased after him to let the man pick it up.He insisted on not picking it up, but the owner of the dish stepped on him in a hurry. The man refused to admit defeat, picked up a weight and hit the owner of the dish on the head. The owner of the dish fainted on the spot and was sent to the hospital.The customer originally wanted to take advantage of it and was unwilling to suffer a small loss of one yuan and twenty cents, but he did not expect that he would suffer a big loss in managing other people's medical expenses, medical expenses, and taking care of patients.

Both of the above two examples show that some people are short-sighted when looking at problems and put too much emphasis on immediate interests, and suffer a lot as a result.Like Gang Qiang and Han Xing, if either party is willing to stand up and take a small loss, it will not ruin the lives of two people; and the vegetable buyer is unwilling to suffer a small loss of one yuan and twenty cents, but in the end he suffers a hundred times. big loss.

In a shop that sells clothes, a working girl wants to buy a piece of clothing, and the price of this piece of clothing is 30 yuan.When she took out the money, a piece of 100 yuan fell out of her pocket, but she didn't see it, but the salesperson had already seen it.The migrant girl only took out 10 yuan, and said to the salesperson: "Miss salesperson, I only have 10 yuan. I will send the money to you right away, okay?" 100 yuan, even if you don’t come, it’s a lot of money, so I said: “Okay, okay, you will send it right away.” After the migrant girl took the clothes, the salesperson immediately picked up the money on the ground and saw that it was a counterfeit currency.

Because she wanted to embezzle the 100 yuan that the migrant girl "unintentionally" dropped, she lost a piece of clothing.This cannot but be said to be the consequence of wanting to take advantage of others.In life, there are always some people who try their best to take advantage of others, as if they will suffer if they don't take advantage of others.Such people are psychologically unhealthy, and their actions should not be what we follow.Just imagine, everyone wants to take advantage, so who will suffer in the end?You always want to take advantage of yourself and let others suffer. How can there be so many good things waiting for you?There is no free lunch.To be a human being, you still have to be down-to-earth.Usually, what can I do if I suffer a little loss?

There was an owner of a department store. He was a semi-literate man with little education, but he was able to manage his business well.Someone asked him: "What's your business secret?" He said with a smile: "Don't add a little bit of words, each person has a piece of land, every family has a good life, and everyone laughs."

It turned out that what he said was the word "Fu".He explained: "Fortune is loss. I would rather make less money than let customers suffer. When I buy things here, I will never tire of it, return and repair, door-to-door service, and be responsible to the end. Naturally, people who come to shop There is an endless stream. Maybe, in some commodities, I have made less or lost money, but in the long run and overall, I will definitely make money, and I can still make money for a long time. So losing money is not necessarily a bad thing, I will Suffer, suffer willingly."

"A loss is a blessing" is not simply the spirit of Ah Q, but a philosophy of life that depends on blessings and misfortunes, giving and receiving. Whether it is dealing with people or doing business, it is the only way to suffer and be willing to suffer.

People have the nature of profit-seeking, and if you suffer a little loss and let others benefit, you can maximize the enthusiasm of others and make yourself a good relationship.The Chinese have the traditional virtue of "a drop of water is repaid by a spring of water". They are willing to suffer a little loss in everything to help others and contribute to society, and they will definitely get the same return in the future.

In daily life, many people don't like small losses that can be seen, but suffer big losses that are invisible, as the saying goes, "grab the sesame seeds and miss the watermelon".In fact, if you want to solve these small things smoothly, there is only one way. Take "get confused when you suffer a loss" as your principle of life, be more humble in everything, and everything will be fine if you suffer a little loss yourself.

Suffering is not a commendatory word, why do you say you have to learn to suffer?To be a human being, you must learn to suffer, be willing to suffer, and be good at suffering. This is not a sign of cowardice, but to a large extent a reflection of a person's character, thoughts, and behaviors.Ordinary people are not willing to suffer losses, smart people are willing to suffer losses, and only those who are smarter than smart people are willing to suffer losses.Give benefits to others, don't be surprised by honor or disgrace, have no regrets about gains and losses, and calm your mind, life will have endless beauty. This should be the basic principle for a person to gain a foothold in society and conduct himself in the world.

Some people say that all knowledge in the world is easy to learn, but the most difficult thing to learn is suffering. Suffering is a kind of ability, a quality, a virtue, a kind of cultivation, a kind of self-cultivation, and even more a kind of knowledge.Only those who are willing to suffer will have authority and appeal. If you suffer more, you will naturally have less right and wrong. As long as you are willing to suffer, you can make a difference.But in real life, there are too few people who can take the initiative to suffer.

In life, there are always those who fight and snatch for trivial matters, those who betray their friends for self-interest, and those who are stingy and calculating. If you lose, you will suffer a big loss in the end.

Thick Black New Mysteries

In reality, those who have made great achievements are all those who are broad-minded and willing to suffer.On the contrary, those who accomplish nothing and are mediocre are mostly narrow-minded, preoccupied, and unwilling to suffer.When doing things, don't just see a small profit in front of you and refuse to let go, let alone hold the idea that you can't suffer no matter what, you must learn to seek future returns and benefits from superficial and temporary losses.The "Suffering Sutra" of Houhei School points out that to suffer is to take advantage, and to be a human being should be able to suffer.Because people have the nature of profit-seeking, if you suffer a little loss and others gain a little profit, they will feel grateful and respectful to you in the long run, because with the heart of gratitude and repayment, once you have difficulties and ask them, they will I readily agreed, in this way, you will be compensated for the losses you suffered earlier, and the rewards you will get will be substantial.

Bend down and bow your head to show weakness, rather be the weak than the strong.
[Zongwu Mantra] Do it without provoking it, practice it without observing it, and be free for life.

"Sun Tzu's Art of War" said: "Soldiers are tricky." "Showing weakness" is an ancient Chinese military strategy thought, which can cause the enemy and opponents to underestimate the enemy.In reality, stooping to be a human being and showing weakness to others is also a philosophy of life and a way to settle down.

In reality, some people flaunt their individuality, strive for strength, express themselves, don’t know how to bend down to be a human being, fight for face, fight for the so-called breath, and end up causing great harm to themselves. make up.Houheixue believes that in dealing with people, you must know how to advance and retreat. If you take a step back, the road will be wider. Temporarily bending over is to recharge your energy and wait for the opportunity. Such a retreat will be faster, better, and It is more effective and powerful, while bending over will enhance the explosive power and momentum in the future, retreating is for advancing later, and temporarily giving up some goals that hinder the overall situation is for achieving greater success in the end.This bending down itself already contains the meaning of progress, and this bending down is an aggressive strategy.

In life, sometimes you have to learn to bend down and be a human being, and use retreat to advance, especially when you encounter opponents who are stronger than yourself.Only by temporarily "retreating" can there be future "advancing", otherwise it will be like a tree in a typhoon being uprooted or broken by the middle.

At the age of 14, Wu Zetian was famous far and wide, and was called into the palace by Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty. Soon after, she was named a talented person, and because of her extremely soft and charming temperament, she was nicknamed "Mei Niang" by Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty.At that time, the ministers observing the astronomical phenomena in the palace warned Tang Taizong one after another, saying that the Tang Dynasty would suffer from "women's disaster", and that a woman would replace Li as the emperor of the Tang Dynasty.There are various indications that this woman is mostly surnamed Wu and has entered the palace.For the sake of future generations, Emperor Taizong of Tang checked the people surnamed Wu one by one and made reliable arrangements. However, because of his deep love for Wu Meiniang, he still couldn't bear to deal with it.

Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty was deceived by the alchemists and took pills. Although his spirit was sharp for a while and he indulged in pleasure, after a while, his body withered and he was about to die.Wu Zetian was in full bloom at this time, and once Taizong passed away, she would die of old age in the palace, so she always paid attention to the opportunity to rely on new branches.She did not "evacuate" at this point, but analyzed the situation and made plans for the next step of development.Prince Li Zhi saw that Wu Zetian looked like a celestial being, and he was very envious.

(End of this chapter)