Thick black school

Chapter 68
Uncle Zhan was a doctor of Zheng Guo in the Spring and Autumn Period.When Chonger was fleeing, he passed by the state of Zheng. Zheng Wengong did not entertain Chonger according to the etiquette, and even said some impolite words.Uncle Zhan advised Zheng Wengong not to offend Chong Er, but Zheng Wengong just refused to listen.So Uncle Zhan persuaded Zheng Wengong to kill Chonger to avoid future troubles, but Zheng Wengong refused to listen.

Later, Chong'er really became the king of the state, that is, Duke Wen of Jin. He decided to send troops to attack the state of Zheng in order to show revenge.Zheng Guoguo had few soldiers and could not defeat Jin State, so he asked Jin State for peace.The state of Jin refused to agree, and clearly stated that only by surrendering Uncle Zhan can the state of Zheng be spared.When Uncle Zhan learned about it, he took the initiative to see Zheng Wengong and asked to see Jin Wengong.Zheng Wengong agreed to Uncle Zhan's request.

After Jin Wengong learned that Zheng Guozhen had handed over Uncle Zhan, he planned to kill Uncle Zhan.On this day, Uncle Zhan came to the state of Jin. Duke Wen of Jin ordered his men to prepare a big cauldron, intending to throw Uncle Zhan into the cauldron and cook him to death.Uncle Zhan asked: "I only have one wish, that is, let me speak out what is in my heart, and then accept the death penalty." Jin Wengong agreed.

Shu Zhan said: "God intentionally brought disaster on our country Zheng, so that our monarch was rude to you. At that time, I advised our monarch: 'You can't do this. Mr. Jin himself is smart and capable, but his luck is not good. He has just come to our place, and his subordinates are also very talented, and they all have the talents of generals. We should take the opportunity to establish a good relationship with him. You have offended them now, in case he returns to China in the future The monarch will definitely dominate the princes. At that time, he will think of your rude behavior to him before, and he will definitely send troops to attack our country Zheng, and disaster will inevitably befall us!' Unfortunately, the monarch did not listen to my advice at that time , and now disaster is approaching. Aren’t those who respect talented and virtuous people and prevent disasters from befalling their own country wise? Now I would rather sacrifice my life in exchange for the safety of the country. Isn't such a person loyal enough?" After speaking, Uncle Zhan walked to the side of the tripod by himself, held the tripod by the ear and shouted: "From now on, anyone who serves the king with wisdom and loyalty will be with my uncle. Zhan also ended up!"

After hearing this, Duke Wen of Jin was deeply moved. He not only ordered not to kill him, but also entertained him with grand etiquette, escorted him back to Zheng State, and canceled the plan to crusade against Zheng State.

Choosing the focus of speaking to different objects is the key to achieving the purpose of speaking.Uncle Zhan in Wenzhong began to say that he persuaded Zheng Wengong not to offend Chonger, which showed his foresight and sagacity; later, he went to Jin to take the initiative to die in order to be loyal to the country and solve the king's problems in exchange for Jin Wengong's sympathy and appreciation. Lives were lost and respected.In reality, it is often possible to achieve the best results by choosing a reasonable way of conversation according to the identity and personality of the person being talked to.

In life, we often hear people accuse certain people of being "little brains", "brainless" and "short of heart". They just talk nonsense regardless of the situation.Speak regardless of who you are talking to, don’t consider what the other person is thinking, and speak without scruples. It is easy to say some rash words, which will make the other person feel unhappy and stop listening to you, hindering communication and making it difficult to achieve the goal.There are many skills in what people say what they see.Specifically how to do it?The following should be done.

1. Look at the other person's personality and gender characteristics.

If the other party is extroverted, you can be casual, joking and bickering, and he will accept it naturally; if the other party is introverted and sensitive, you can tell a suitable joke to make him cheerful.You should learn to speak different words for people with different personalities.In addition, it is necessary to distinguish between gender and speech. For example, men will laugh it off when they say that people are fat, while women may pull their faces down and hurt their self-esteem. This is the difference brought about by gender.Therefore, the same words have different effects on men and women.

2. Look at the identity characteristics of the other party.

If you want to achieve the ideal expression effect, you should speak according to the identity of the object, who you are speaking to, and what you say.If you speak regardless of your identity, people will sound awkward or even disgusted, which will inevitably affect the communication effect.

3. Look at each other's interests and hobbies.

For example, if you talk to a woman with children, you can talk about children’s education, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea; when you talk to company employees, you can talk about economic environment and other issues... They will involuntarily tell you a lot about themselves and their work.If you persuade the other party based on their interests and hobbies and are good at guiding, the other party will involuntarily tell you a lot about himself.

4. Look at the age characteristics of the other party.

Old people like others to say that they are young, but children don’t like it that adults always say that they are too young; middle-aged people like others to say that they have a successful career and a happy family, while young people like others to say that they are aggressive and energetic. Layers of people like different topics.

5. Look at the psychological needs of the other party.

Different people have different psychological needs.If you know a little psychology, it is easy to speak to people's hearts.

6. Distinguish between inside and outside, sad and happy occasions.

All the friends on the occasion are familiar friends, so you can talk with your heart, talk about everything, and even say something presumptuous; but if the people present are all people who don’t have a deep relationship, you must restrain yourself For yourself, don't act recklessly, and do things in a businesslike manner, and don't mess around regardless of who you are.Similarly, speaking should be in harmony with the atmosphere of the occasion. You should not say something depressing on a festive occasion, and you should not say festive things when you are sad, which will make people feel uncomfortable or even annoyed.

If you can grasp the above-mentioned principles, you will naturally be less likely to make mistakes when speaking. "What kind of people do you talk to, what kind of songs do you sing in what mountains?" can help you deal with all kinds of people, distinguish boundaries, sort out situations, have good interpersonal relationships, and be comfortable in various social situations.

Thick Black New Mysteries

Observing words and emotions is the basic skill to manipulate freely in all human relationships.If you don't know what to say, you won't be able to detect the reality of the other party, and you won't be able to grasp the propriety of speaking.When you are in an environment, you must first figure out the relationship between people, figure out the likes and dislikes of everyone around you, figure out what people like to hear and what they dislike. They will say what people like to hear, and they will never say what they hate.Especially in the face of conflicting parties, they will have both sides, please both sides, say this good, can scratch the itch, and arouse joy from the heart; talk about the other side, can touch the pain point, touch the weakness, make people nod frequently .Houhei School advocates that when speaking, pay attention to observe a person's status, character, quality and inner emotions, be good at listening to a person's voice, adapt to the situation, and say what someone sees, so that you can become a person. well-liked person.

Talking to the heart, flattering to the waist of the horse.
[Zongwu Mantra] "A good carpenter can teach you to follow the rules, but he can't tell you the skills." This requires the person seeking an official to understand carefully, and the most important thing is to have a sense of proportion when speaking.

Everyone knows that the most basic way to comfort a pet is to gently stroke along its fur. Whenever the owner makes this action, the pet will make a contented sound!As higher animals, people also have this kind of psychology, and they like others to speak according to their own wishes.

Everyone likes to hear good things. In social life, if you can figure out a person's preferences and say some good things, you will be able to get twice the result with half the effort. Therefore, it is essential to say some flattering words appropriately.If you want others to obey your words and act according to your wishes, you must take care of the other person's face, do what they like, flatter you, and speak to the other person's heart.Take care of the other person's mood and save enough face for others, and others will feel grateful to you from the heart, and will not easily generate resistance. Even if he doesn't like what you say, he may not agree with the opinions you put forward, and he will change his mind , take your suggestion.This is an important thick black speaking technique that Li Zongwu expounded in his thick black studies.

At the end of the Warring States period, King Huiwen of Qin appointed Zhang Yi as the prime minister, and used the policy of horizontal alignment to deal with the vertical policy of the princes, which achieved great success.Zhang Yi went to Wei State four times, and finally persuaded King Ai of Wei to respect King Qin as emperor.Then, Zhang Yi deceived King Huai of Chu with the land of Shangyu, causing Qin and Chu to fight in Lantian. As a result, the Chu army was defeated and forced to form an alliance with Qin.

Zhang Yi took advantage of the situation to threaten the king of Han again, saying: "The terrain of South Korea is dangerous, and the people live in mountainous areas. If the grain harvest fails for a year, they will have to live on chaff. The land is less than nine hundred miles away, and the treasury has not been accumulated for two years." Food. Your Majesty's army is less than 30 in the whole country, and it also includes those handymen who cut firewood and cook. If the soldiers guarding the post and border guards are excluded, the existing army is only 20. However, Qin's army has more than 100 There are thousands of chariots and thousands of horses. There are countless brave warriors who can bend bows, shoot arrows, and swing weapons into battle. There are also many excellent horses who can leap two feet and gallop quickly. There are countless. Soldiers from the six kingdoms of Shandong put on armor and helmets and joined together to fight against the Qin army. However, the soldiers of Qin fought barebacked, holding human heads in their left hands and weapons in their right hands, and defeated the armies of the six kingdoms. Soldiers are really as brave as ancient warriors like Meng Ben and Wu Huo. They attack weak countries, like throwing a mighty force on an egg, and there is no one invincible. And most of those vassal states do not measure the smallness of their own land , The cowardice of the army, but listened to the sweet words of the villain who formed a faction for personal gain, saying, "follow my strategy, and you can dominate the world." Nothing is more harmful to you, the monarch, than this kind of behavior that ignores long-term interests and listens to short-term opinions. If Your Majesty does not submit to Qin, Qin will send troops to occupy Yiyang, cut off the road from South Korea to the Shangdang area, and then go east to take Chenggao and Xingyang, and the King's country will be divided. Obey Qin, and you will be able to If you do not obey Qin, you will be in danger. If you obey Chu and betray Qin, you will be enraged. It is impossible for the country not to perish. What Qin hopes most is to weaken Chu. If the king serves Qin in the west and attacks Chu, the king of Qin will be happy, and the king can also get land from Chu, there is really no better plan than this."

King Han followed Zhang Yi's advice.When Zhang Yi returned, King Qin Hui bestowed five cities on Zhang Yi and named him Lord Wuxin.

Qin Wang sent Zhang Yi to persuade Qi Min Wang.Zhang Yi went to Qi State and met King Qi Min, and said to him: "In today's world, there is no one who can surpass Qi State in terms of wealth. The ministers in the court are all fathers and brothers with the same surname. There are many people, rich and happy. But those who advise the king, They are all only looking for temporary happiness, regardless of the long-term interests of the country. Those who advocate unionism lobby the king, and they will definitely say that there is a powerful Zhao State in the west of Qi State, and South Korea and Wei State in the south. Qi State is a country backed by the sea. , The land is vast, the people are numerous, the soldiers are strong, and the soldiers are brave. No matter how strong the Qin State is, Qi State cannot do anything about it. Your Majesty approves of their claims, but does not measure the actual situation. I heard that Qi State and Lu State fought three battles, The Lu State won three times, but the Lu State was weakened and perished because of this. Although it was victorious in name, it actually perished. What is the reason for this? It is because Qi State is big and Lu State is small! Now Qin is compared with Zhao, just like Qi is compared with Lu. Qin and Zhao fought on the banks of the Yellow River and Zhangshui. They fought twice, and Zhao defeated Qin. But wait until the fourth battle In the end, Zhao State lost hundreds of thousands of troops, and finally only the capital city of Handan remained. Although Zhao State won the victory in name, the country was in dilapidated condition. Why? It was because Qin State was strong and Zhao State was weak!”…

"Now, Qin and Chu have married and become brothers. South Korea offered Yiyang to Qin, Wei offered Hewai to Qin, and Zhao also made an alliance with Qin in Mianchi, ceding Hejian to serve Qin. If the king does not submit to Qin, Qin will definitely let Han and Wei attack the south of Qi, and let Zhao's army cross the Qing River with all its strength and point to Boguan. In this way, Linzi, the capital of Qi, will be threatened. At that time, it will be too late for Qi to surrender. I hope Your Majesty will think about it!"

The King of Qi said: "Qi State is located in a remote place, far away from the East Sea, and has never considered the long-term interests of the country. Thanks to you for planning for us." So he agreed to Zhang Yi's request to obey Qin State.

Zhang Yi left Qi State and went to Zhao State to persuade King Zhao: "Qin State sent me, an envoy, to present a plan to you, Your Majesty. Your Majesty led the princes from all over the world to resist Qin State together, so that Qin soldiers dared not dare to fight for 15 years. After walking out of Hangu Pass, the king was famous all over the world, and Qin State feared and admired him very much. During this period, Qin State could only repair chariots, sharpen weapons, train troops and practice martial arts; work hard to farm, accumulate food, and defend the border. Take action, lest Your Majesty will blame us for our mistakes. Now relying on Your Majesty's urging, Qin State has captured Bashu, annexed Hanzhong, occupied the Eastern and Western Zhou, obtained the Nine Tripods of the Chuanguo, and defended Baimajin on the south bank of the Yellow River. Qin Although the country is in a remote and desolate place, the days of resentment have been long."

"At present, the Qin State has a not-so-sophisticated army stationed in Mianchi. It is preparing to cross the Yellow River, cross the Zhangshui River, enter and occupy Fanwu, and gather at the city of Handan. At war with the State of Zhao, the King of Qin carefully sent me as an envoy to report to the King.

"The person whom the king trusts the most and who relies on him to carry out the vertical policy is Su Qin. Su Qin confuses the princes, turns black and white, and confuses right and wrong. He wanted to subvert Qi secretly, but he was torn apart on the execution ground. Now all countries It is already obvious that the feudal lords can no longer unite as one. Now, Qin and Chu have become brotherly states, and both Han and Wei have surrendered to Qin and become vassal states to the east of Qin. Qi has also offered production fish Giving the land of salt to the Qin State is equivalent to cutting off the right arm of the State of Zhao. Cutting off the right arm and fighting with others, losing the party and being isolated, the danger of the State of Zhao is really imminent!"

"Now suppose that Qin State joins forces with the four countries to attack Zhao State. Zhao State will have to divide the land into four parts for the four countries participating in the war. I privately think about the king. The best way is to have a meeting with King Qin in Mianchi. Make a verbal agreement and ask the army not to attack. I hope the king will make a decision soon."

After hearing this, King Zhao quickly explained: "When the late king was alive, Lord Fengyang monopolized the power, deceived and oppressed the late king. At that time, I was still living in the palace, studying with my master and not participating in state affairs. After the late king passed away, I was still young. Small, the time to inherit the throne is not long. Later, I also secretly figured out that it is not a long-term solution for the country to unite the princes and refuse to obey the Qin State. Therefore, I will change the previous practice and prepare to cede the land to the Qin State as a ransom. Back to the previous mistakes. I was preparing the vehicle and went to apologize, and I just received your wise advice from the envoy."

Zhao Wang agreed to Zhang Yi's suggestion.So Zhang Yi set off to the north again to persuade the King of Yan, and successfully persuaded the King of Yan to donate 5 cities, pro-Qin and abandon Zhao, realizing the Lianheng strategy.

Zhang Yi single-handedly persuaded other countries, and the art of using language is amazing.He is good at observing and trying to figure out the psychology of the monarchs of various countries, and he is successful in persuading them differently.Advising King Han to always compare the weakness of South Korea with the strength of Qin State, while persuading Zhao State to use its diplomatic advantages to analyze from the overall situation.In addition, firmly grasping the psychological impact of the failure of the joint vertical alliance on the monarchs of various countries can properly find out what the monarchs of various countries are most worried about, which is also the basis for successful lobbying.

The purpose of speaking is nothing more than to make the other party accept one's point of view, so the key is to know what the other party thinks in the heart, to be good at grasping the other party's psychology, and to penetrate the subtleties of the other party's heart, so that you can know yourself and the enemy, and your words can move people's hearts and be targeted ,Have an effect.

We all know that Wei Zheng in the Tang Dynasty was a famous official who dared to speak out, but he was also a person who knew how to compliment others.

Wei Zheng is a rare admonisher in China. He has always been outspoken to Emperor Taizong of Tang Dynasty.However, even an admonishing minister like Wei Zheng may not always say things that make Taizong angry and unable to step down. Occasionally, he knows how to say something flattering, or use euphemistic words, and let Taizong listen with a nonchalant attitude. Long Yan is very happy.

Once, Wei Zheng entered the palace to meet Emperor Taizong, bowed his head deeply and said: "The old minister has always devoted himself to the country, and of course he will stick to his post in the future and live up to your majesty's entrustment. But please don't regard the old minister as a loyal minister, just treat him as a loyal minister." Be a good minister!"

Therefore, Taizong asked: "What is the difference between a loyal minister and a good minister?"

Wei Zheng said: "It's different. The so-called good ministers are not only praised by the world, but also can bring the reputation of the monarch. However, loyal ministers are different. Loyal ministers will not only be punished by themselves, Moreover, the monarch will also be charged with tyranny and immorality, and the country will perish. In the end, perhaps only the reputation of "there was a loyal minister" will be left behind. From this, it can be seen that there is a world of difference between a good minister and a loyal minister!"

Taizong was greatly moved when he heard this, and said: "I understand. I hope you can keep what you said just now, and I will be careful so as not to make mistakes." Moreover, he also gave Wei Zheng a generous reward.

"Be a good minister, don't make a loyal minister", this sentence is really intriguing.Even Wei Zheng, who is famous for his outspokenness and dare to remonstrate, sometimes uses such euphemistic words to say that he owes his good reputation to having a famous emperor like him. In this way, one day Wei Zheng will make Taizong unable to step down because of his outspokenness. At that time, he could be a "good minister" to remind Taizong.Such a compliment from Wei Zheng was really wonderfully used.

(End of this chapter)