Thick black school

Chapter 70
Kaiser Wilhelm II sent someone to hand over the design drawings of a warship to an authority in the shipbuilding industry, asking him to evaluate the drawings.William II told the other party in the attached letter that this is the result of his research after spending many years and a lot of energy, and he hopes that this authoritative person can carefully identify it.

A few weeks later, Wilhelm II received reports from authorities.This report is accompanied by a stack of detailed analyzes deduced from numbers. The text report reads as follows:
"Your Majesty, I am very pleased to see a wonderful warship design. It is a great honor to evaluate it. It can be seen that this warship is magnificent and powerful. Lion: Its super high speed is unprecedented, and its weaponry can be said to be invincible in the world. It is equipped with the cannon with the longest range and the highest mast in the world. Hotel. However, there is only one shortcoming of this unparalleled super warship, that is, if it hits the water, it will immediately sink to the bottom like a leaden duck."

William II, who was originally a gamer, could not help but smile knowingly after reading this report.

Thick black talkers are not all those who can say a lot of nice words and use a lot of gorgeous words. They can use the shortest words, but they can express thought-provoking and impressive words.Some people say that speaking should be as short as a woman's skirt, but short words do not mean that you have to speak directly and clearly.Even if it is brief, it can be said in a roundabout way, humorous and funny and to the point.

Let's take a look at the speaking charm of US President Eisenhower.

At a press dinner, U.S. President Eisenhower stood up to speak at the request of everyone.

He said: "As you all know, I am not a man of words. I once visited a farmer when I was a child, and I asked the farmer: 'Are your cows purebred?' He said he didn't know. I asked again : "How much milk can this cow produce every week?" He also said he didn't know. Finally, he was annoyed by my question, so he said: "I don't know what you asked. Anyway, this cow is very honest. As long as there is milk, it will give you.'”

Eisenhower smiled and said to all the journalists present: "I am as honest as that cow. Anyway, if there is news, I will definitely tell everyone."

These few words made everyone burst into laughter, because Eisenhower simply told people in the press in circles, don't follow me and ask, anyway, I will give you news anyway!This devious way of speaking is effective and easy, and it does not make people feel rejected at all.

Detours are a delaying tactic.The purpose is to find out the greatest common divisor when communication is possible, or to buy more time to facilitate communication.

If the communication is poor, you can also consider using a roundabout way, so that you can buy time to seek external support or jump out of the original communication mode, and use a special method to break through the communication barrier and keep the communication smooth.

When using a roundabout strategy, sometimes it is necessary to use the way of roundabout.Whirling is different from detours. Wandering around the original topic keeps lingering until progress is made.In other words, due to poor communication or failure to obtain compromise from the other party, one party has been circling around the original topic.This approach is to focus on the original topic and try every means to persuade the other party, until the other party is annoyed, or the blind spot is solved, and the two parties reach an agreement, and then stop continuing the circling action.

Of course, this is a kind of communication skill that requires patience, entanglement, psychological tactics, etc.

Complicated proposals until they are satisfied; ask for explanations until they are reasonable; discuss item by item and seek compromises; discuss word by word to break through logic; look for language errors that make it difficult for the other party to justify themselves; blur the focus on disadvantages and shift the target; talk about others , to distract the other party's attention; not to give up until the goal is reached, to make the other party lose patience; to seek various channels to coordinate and compromise... These are called dealing with each other.

Houheiology tells us that we might as well calm down when encountering difficult things, and try a roundabout way to solve the problem, and we will soon get rid of unfavorable or dangerous situations.

Thick Black New Mysteries

When communicating with people, sometimes because the problem is complicated, you can’t speak clearly in a few words; or the other party has resistance to what you say; or the other party is deeply hostile and has bad intentions, so it is often difficult to use ordinary speaking methods to be effective.Houheixue pointed out that when encountering this kind of situation, it is necessary to take a roundabout approach, to attack sideways, not to start from the front, but to open the gap from the side.If you can't say it clearly, use metaphors and insinuations to illustrate; use humor and puns to make jokes when the situation is embarrassing; It is necessary to ask for directions and find out the details; if the relationship is unfamiliar, find out the relationship between each other, and make friends with each other. This way of fighting around, making insinuations, suggesting in many ways, step by step, can make people think step by step, and explain the truth step by step. Achieve their goals.When communicating with people, take a roundabout way when necessary, which can often achieve miraculous results and produce a miraculous effect of four or two.

Silence is golden, even a lamb can defeat a lion.
[Zonggo Mantra] If I am wrong and others are right, I will abandon my opinion and follow other people's theories instead.

Many people regard eloquence and eloquence as a sign of a person's ability to speak. In reality, many people also like to talk without restraint when talking with others, thinking that they only need to speak as much as possible and express their thoughts If you shake it out, you will convince others.In the view of Houheixue, this approach is unwise.Houheiology maintains that God gave us one mouth and two ears, the purpose is to let us understand that ears are more important than mouths, and listening is more important than speaking.On certain occasions, it is often more convincing to say less or even not to speak, and to keep silent than to argue endlessly.

There was a primary school student who was born in a well-educated family. One day, he took a good toy from a classmate and came back before dinner. He pretended to be nonchalant and said with a smile as usual: "Mom, I'm back!" Silence . "Sister, I'm hungry." Silence. "What's wrong?" There was silence. "I did nothing wrong!" It was also silent.His mother stared at him, his sister turned her back to him, and the whole family treated him coldly.He finally broke down on his own: "Mom, sister, I was wrong..."

Plain silence can be thought-provoking: Some people have a positive attitude, but they are unavoidably biased when they express their opinions, and it is easy to dampen their enthusiasm if they are directly dismissed. Faintly silent.Just listen to what he says, "um" "ah"... don't say anything, wait for him to say enough and leave, and then say goodbye to him with an appropriate neutral word without any opinion: "Okay! ’ or ‘Think about it again. ’ Say nothing else.In this way, after he returns home, he must think hard: "Is the talk right today? Why didn't the other party express his opinion? What's wrong?" Maybe he will ask others for advice, or he will realize the truth himself.

Lincoln is a diligent and studious person, he obtained a lawyer's business license through self-study.He was universally praised for his eloquence and tact in court proceedings.On one occasion, he defeated the plaintiff's lawyer without saying a word and won the lawsuit.In the courtroom, the plaintiff's lawyer talked on and on, repeating one or two simple arguments for two hours. The judge and the audience were very impatient, and there was a lot of discussion, and some people even fell asleep.Finally, the plaintiffs' attorney finally finished speaking.Lincoln took the podium as the defendant's attorney, but he didn't say a word.The audience was silent, and everyone felt very strange.

After a while, Lincoln took off his coat, put it on the table, took a drink from the water glass, put the water down again, put on his coat again, took off his coat and drank again.This cycle went through five or six times. The judges and the audience were amused by Lincoln's pantomime, but Lincoln never said a word and walked off the podium amid laughter. His opponent was finally "laughed" and lost.

Silence is golden, and sometimes silence can win by surprise, but if you talk endlessly, you will not be able to explain clearly.During the Warring States Period, when King Zhaoxiang of Qin summoned Fan Ju for the first time, Fan Ju used this silent technique.

At that time, King Qin Zhaoxiang had been in power for 36 years, but the military power of the country was still in the hands of his mother, Queen Mother Xuan, and uncle Ranghou, which made it impossible for King Zhaoxiang to govern independently and implement reforms.Fan Ju arrived in Qin State at this time.He first sent a letter to King Zhaoxiang, saying that he had a way to make the Qin State strong, and also hinted at how to deal with the key issues between King Zhaoxiang, Queen Mother Xuan and Ranghou.

King Zhaoxiang decided to summon Fan Ju after reading Fan Ju's report.When the day of the interview came, Fan Ju deliberately wandered around the meeting place in advance.When King Zhaoxiang arrived, the courtiers saw someone wandering nearby, and said, "Your Majesty is here, avoid it!"

At this time, Fan Ju raised his voice deliberately and said: "There is no king in Qin, only the Queen Mother Xuan and Ranghou!"

These words happened to hit King Zhaoxiang's heart disease that had been accumulated in his heart for a long time.He received Fan Ju with some unease, and said to him: "I should have met my husband a long time ago, but the government affairs bothered me, and I had to ask the Queen Mother for instructions every day, so I delayed until now. I am dull by nature, please don't be polite, sir, and teach me more."

But Fan Ju didn't say a word, just looked around nonchalantly.

The hall was quiet and the atmosphere was very dignified.The officials on the left and right watched the development of the situation with some anxiety.

King Zhaoxiang guessed that Fan Ju was inconvenient because of the presence of all the officials, so he sent them back, but Fan Ju still didn't say a word.King Zhaoxiang asked again: "What can you teach me, sir?"

Fan Ju opened his mouth and said: "Yes, yes." After a pause, King Qin asked for advice again, but Fan Ju still just said: "Yes, yes." After a pause, he repeated this several times.

Later, King Zhaoxiang couldn't kneel down and said, "Mister, won't you teach me? At least you should explain why you don't say a word!"

At this time, Fan Ju thanked him and said: "I dare not do this." So he continued talking endlessly.The main content he talked about was the famous strategy of "distance and near attack". At the same time, he also talked about the arbitrary dictatorship of the Queen Mother, Ranghou and others, who emptied King Zhaoxiang, and proposed countermeasures.

King Zhaoxiang of Qin appreciated Fan Ju's words very much, and immediately appointed him as a consultant.A few years later, Fan Ju was made Prime Minister of Qin State.Later he said to Fan Ju: "In the past when Duke Huan of Qi got Guan Zhong, people called him 'Father Zhong'. Now that I get you, I also call you 'Father'!"

Fan Ju's ingenious way of doing things does have its indescribable and unique effect.The silence made King Zhaoxiang retreat from all the officials, and also enabled King Zhaoxiang to listen to Fan Ju's opinions with a surprised and focused mentality, and increased his respect for him.

Fan Ju cleverly uses silence to win the respect and status he deserves.In life, if we can internalize silence as part of our personality, not only can we often exert the power of "talking too much is worse than talking less, and talking less is worse than talking", but also have the effect of being anti-customer-oriented and master the initiative of interpersonal communication. right.

In our life and work, sometimes it is true that silence speaks louder than words.Just like proper language, well-timed silence is an art of language.When the time to speak has not come, keeping silent is sometimes the best choice, and you will receive the effect of "silence is better than sound at this time".Keeping silent when the time is not up is an art of "great wisdom and foolishness". The purpose of listening more and speaking less or even not speaking in business activities is to obtain the greatest benefit.Speak less and avoid unnecessary arguments, and the other party will not be able to understand your true thoughts.On the contrary, you can detect the other party's motives and gradually take the initiative.The silence at this time is actually "fire reconnaissance".

When it's time to shut up, choose wise silence, which is often used in modern begging.

In a trade negotiation between a small company and a "big mac" company, the representative of the "big mac" company relied on his own strength to introduce the situation to the other party, while the representative of the small company said nothing , buried in the record.

After the representative of the "Big Mac" finished speaking, he asked for the opinions of the representatives of the other party.The representative of the small company seemed to wake up suddenly, and said to the representative of the "Big Mac" in a daze: "Oh, it's over? We don't understand at all. Please allow us to go back and study it."

Thus, the first round of talks ended.

Negotiations resumed a few weeks later.Representatives of small companies claimed that their technicians did not understand the other party's explanations.As a result, the representatives of "Big Mac" had no choice but to introduce them again.

Unexpectedly, after the lecture, the attitude of the representative of the small company was still unclear, and he still asked: "We still don't fully understand, please allow us to go back and study it again." In this way, the second meeting ended.

A few days later, during the third meeting, the representative of the small company still kept silent, repeating the old trick at the negotiating table.The only difference is that this time they told "Big Mac" to notify each other as soon as there is a result of the discussion.

After a period of time, when "Big Mac" felt that the cooperation was useless, the representative of the small company came to the door to start negotiations, and came up with the final plan, forcing "Big Mac" with lightning speed. , catching opponents off guard.

In the end, a deal was struck that clearly favored smaller companies.

The reason why small companies can defeat the "big Mac" and achieve success in negotiations is the key to the silence of small companies. When the time is not ripe, they keep silent.It makes the opponent confused, blindly proud and arrogant, and at the same time buys himself time to study the opponent's plan, and gives the opponent a blow by surprise.

Silence does not mean not speaking, silence does not mean that there is no power to fight back, and silence does not mean approval.Behind the silence, there is a huge power waiting to be unleashed.

Thick Black New Mysteries

Eloquence is not necessarily silver, but silence is more expensive than gold.Silence does not mean not speaking, silence does not necessarily mean admitting defeat, silence is not necessarily powerless, sometimes silence is more powerful than debate.Behind the silence, there is a huge power waiting to be unleashed.In most cases, if you keep talking on your own and don't give others a chance to speak, others will feel that you are too expressive, and they will have a feeling of being suppressed and contempt, so they will say things to you Don't take it to heart, and when you talk less and listen more, or keep silent from time to time, the other party is willing to get closer to you and communicate with you.Houheixue believes that in interpersonal communication, if you want to become a good talker that everyone welcomes, you must talk less and listen more, give full play to the role of silence and the power of listening, and encourage the other party to talk more.

Right and wrong are just to talk more, and only talk about three minutes when meeting people.
[Zongwu Mantra] People hide their minds, which are unfathomable. They are the same as the molecules in a porcelain cup, so psychological changes, such as beads moving on a plate, are unknowable.

There is a famous saying of Confucius, "Need to talk but sensitive to deeds", and a Chinese saying, "Only talk about three things when meeting people, but don't give up all your heart", all of which illustrate the importance of speaking cautiously.If you pay attention, you can find that people rarely have friends who can really make friends with each other. Many people usually speak very beautifully, but once you encounter an emergency and need help, they will run away, lest they get burned.The so-called "people's heart is separated from the belly", "other people's heart is not my heart", "knowing people and knowing the face but not knowing the heart", "preventing others is indispensable", in reality, everyone's inner thoughts are not something you can see through at a glance.

Houheixue believes that in interpersonal communication, you should think more when speaking with others, speak carefully, and leave a sentence for a while. You can't say everything to people or talk to everyone.If you don't take precautions and tell others your thoughts frankly, you will make yourself very passive, and you will only be the one who suffers in the end.

Emperor Guangxu of the Qing Dynasty Zaitian was only 4 years old when he came to the throne, and the empress dowagers of the two palaces listened to the government behind the curtain.The Western Empress Dowager Cixi often summoned courtiers alone, and did not discuss matters with the Eastern Empress Ci'an, and the Empress Dowager Ci'an was quite aggrieved by this.

In the seventh year of Guangxu (1881), the Empress Dowager Cixi suddenly became seriously ill, and treatment by famous Chinese and foreign doctors was ineffective.Later, it was treated with the method of postpartum dredging and nourishing, and it was completely cured.From this, the Empress Dowager Ci'an knew that the Empress Dowager Cixi was immoral, so in the name of celebrating Cixi's recovery, she held a banquet in Zhongcui Palace and drank with Cixi.After drinking for three rounds, the Empress Dowager Ci'an turned around and talked about Xianfeng's later years.When it comes to getting up, she said: "For more than 20 years, the two palaces have been getting along pretty well. There is one thing that I wanted to tell my sister a long time ago. Let my sister read something first." She took out a roll of yellow silk Paper comes.It turned out that Emperor Xianfeng wrote to the Empress Dowager Ci'an before his death, to the effect that if Cixi became restless in the future, he could show this edict and order the ministers to get rid of her.Cixi's face changed drastically after hearing this.

The Empress Dowager Ci'an told the Empress Dowager Cixi about this out of good intentions. She originally wanted to use the will to persuade the Empress Dowager Cixi to be careful everywhere.In order not to make Cixi suspicious, the Empress Dowager Ci'an burned the edict on the candle on the spot, and said: "This paper is useless, it is better to burn it." Cixi pretended to be grateful on the surface, but secretly harbored ghosts.Soon after, Empress Dowager Ci'an, who was only 45 years old and two years younger than Cixi, died suddenly in the palace.

The Empress Dowager Ci'an was kind-hearted, scheming, and didn't know how to guard against the enemy. In order to win Cixi's favor, she spoke bluntly, even confessed her most important secrets, and was finally poisoned. It's really sad.Her tragedy lies in her ignorance of the truth that "you can only talk a little bit when you meet people, but you can't let go of your heart". She thinks that others are as benevolent and kind as she is, and they can pour out their hearts to each other, without leaving room for their words, and tell the whole story. Leaking secrets and planting the root of death.

When Wilson first became the governor of Ohio, at a banquet, the chairman of the banquet introduced to everyone present that Wilson was "the future president of the United States"-this was just the chairman's praise of Wilson.

(End of this chapter)