Thick black school

Chapter 72
The reason why Liu Mu deliberately belittled himself was targeted, because at that time, anyone in the clan who had some ambitions or made friends was easily suspected by the court, and suspected that they would form a powerful force and threaten the stability of the emperor's rule. , Sometimes, if you don't make it right, you will be killed.And Liu Mu's words can be said to be targeted.

Liu Mu's targeted remarks contain great wisdom, which is worth pondering and learning from.Showing off one's talent and resourcefulness in front of a faint and suspicious monarch is tantamount to getting burned, and only by showing indulging in luxury, sensuality, and belittling oneself can one save the life of the whole family, otherwise it will lead to death.Because the monarch feels that his subordinates pose a threat to him, he also monitors his every move at all times. If he is a little careless, his ministers will be buried in unwarranted charges.

The wisdom of the Chinese lies in the four words "hidden secrets". It's not that we have to hide ourselves all the time, but that when we put ourselves on the opposite side of others to show ourselves, it means that your every move It will involve the sight of millions of pairs of eyes, and we will not be free at that time.Therefore, in the process of being a human being, sometimes deliberately demeaning ourselves in front of others, grasping the other person's heart disease, and eliminating his worries for him in a targeted manner, will make us retreat completely, and thus have a wider choice.

Thick Black New Mysteries

Blaming yourself and praising others is an important black technique in interpersonal communication. Its meaning is that on the one hand, you criticize and belittle yourself, making people feel that you are sincere; on the other hand, it makes people feel happy because of being praised. So it is easier to win the sincerity of others.On the contrary, adopting an attitude of contempt or even contempt for others is not beneficial to yourself at all, because you hurt the self-esteem of others, and others will naturally become hostile to you, which will affect your interpersonal relationship and cause dissatisfaction in your career. Shun.Houheixue believes that the purpose of thick black life is to gain more benefits in communication, so you must understand the psychology of the person you communicate with, and complimenting people in communication will not only help you develop a wider network of contacts, but also Can help you gain benefits for yourself.

Have the courage to say "no" and be black when it's time to be black.
【Zongwu Mantra】Because "I" is the nature of human beings, it cannot be said that he is good, nor can he be said that he is evil. It is most reasonable to say that there is no good and no bad nature.

In social life, we often encounter unreasonable or excessive requests from some people, but the other party may be a person with a better or deeper relationship with us, such as friends, classmates, colleagues, bosses, etc., because of affection, we feel embarrassed to refuse The other party, but if he agrees to the other party's request, he will suffer losses, and even get into trouble, hesitating and indecisive for a while.If the other party’s request has little impact on you, you can “open the net” and accept it generously, and you may get rewards from the other party for it in the future; however, for some important and principled issues, you have to think carefully up.

Houheixue pointed out that if you make some unreasonable demands on the direction of you when it comes to issues of right and wrong, as well as matters involving your personal interests and future, then you should not be considerate of sympathy, and you should be blackfaced when you should. , say "no" firmly to the other party, and refuse.

During the reign of Emperor Wen of the Sui Dynasty, there was a man named Hou Bai who was good at telling jokes.The jokes he tells are not only pleasant to listen to, but also often contain some life principles. Everyone loves to listen to his jokes.Even Yang Su, the prime minister of Yue, liked to hear him tell jokes the most.On this day, he was invited to tell Yang Su a lot of jokes, Yang Su was so excited, he forgot the time, and it was evening when Hou Bai left Yang's residence.Who knew that just after leaving the mansion, he ran into Yang Su's son Yang Xuangan again.Like his father, this son also liked Hou Bai's jokes very much. This time when he met Hou Bai, he refused to let him go home, but insisted on listening to his jokes.Helpless, Hou Bai had no choice but to stand on the side of the road and tell jokes to the wayward Mr. Yang.

Hou Bai said: "Once upon a time there was a tiger who was very hungry and went to the wild to look for food early in the morning. At this time, it saw a hedgehog lying on the ground. The tiger thought it was a good piece of meat, so it wanted to swallow it in one bite. Unexpectedly, as soon as he opened his mouth, his nose was pinched by the hedgehog, and the pain was unbearable. The tiger ran away in fright without knowing what monster it encountered, and ran back to the deep mountains and old forests in one breath, tired and terrified, and fell asleep. The tiger The hedgehog was always on the nose, and the hedgehog let go of the tiger when the tiger fell asleep. This time, the pain was gone, and the tiger remembered that his stomach was empty, and he hadn’t eaten anything since last night. He was so hungry Panicked, he jumped up to look for food again. Before jumping far, he saw an oak tree. Looking down, the fruit of the oak tree was hairy, like a little monster (hedgehog), and he said with lingering fear: 'Meet your father this morning and now you. Please make way for me to go home! I don't have food in my stomach.'”

When Yang Xuangan heard this, he couldn't help but blush. Didn't the acorn fruit in this story refer to himself?It was only then that I realized that it was not polite to pester Hou Bai to tell stories and delay others from eating dinner.He sincerely apologized to Hou Bai, and never bothered Hou Bai again.

In the process of interpersonal communication, rejecting others often hurts others' face and hurts their self-esteem.Therefore, sometimes it is not appropriate to directly use the word "no", which has a strong confrontational color, but to express the negative statement in an affirmative form, which can often achieve unexpected results. hurt each other's feelings.

We know that Zhu Yuanzhang, the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty, was a murderous emperor, and the people all over the world hated him very much.Once, the famous painter Zhou Xuansu was ordered by Zhu Yuanzhang to enter the palace and painted the geographical map of the Ming Dynasty on the palace wall.Zhou Xuansu knew Zhu Yuanzhang's character well, but he didn't know what kind of medicine he sold in his gourd, and if he drew a map of his Zhu family, if he didn't make it well, wouldn't it be impossible to save his head.After thinking about it again and again, Zhou Xuansu pleaded for orders: "I have never traveled all over the world. I am ignorant and ignorant, so I dare not accept this order. I beg the emperor to give a sketch first, and then I will paint and polish it according to it. I don't know what the emperor wants." Zhou Xuansu used him. Zhu Yuanzhang's tact cleverly rejected him.We can imagine that if Zhou Xuansu directly rejected Zhu Yuanzhang, the end would be predictable.It was precisely because Zhou Xuansu knew Zhu Yuanzhang deeply that by doing so, he not only saved his own head, but also maintained the emperor's self-esteem and face.At the same time, he showed his humility and talent.

This case tells us that rejection is not only an art, but also requires higher knowledge.Rejection can reflect a person's character, cultivation and knowledge.Clever refusal can make the other party feel sincerity, kindness and trust in your refusal!

Many successful people in history have mastered the art of rejection, saying "no" while giving the other side enough face.

An officer repeatedly begged Disraeli to make him a baron.The Prime Minister knew that this man was very talented, and wanted to establish a good relationship with him, but the officer was not enough to be appointed, so Disraeli could not meet his request.One day the Prime Minister invited the officer to his office alone and said to him: "Dear friend, I'm sorry I can't give you the title of Baron, but I can give you something better."

Disraeli lowered his voice and said, "I will tell everyone that I have asked you to accept the title of baron many times, but you have refused."

When the news came out, everyone praised the officer for his humility and selflessness, his indifference to fame and fortune, and his courtesy and respect far surpassed any baron.The officer was sincerely grateful to Disraeli, and later became the prime minister's most loyal partner and military backing.

The cleverness of the Prime Minister lies in the fact that he understands that what an officer really needs is not a baronet title, but the great glory after being knighted.

We emphasize that everything should be measured, and rejection is no exception.Rejecting others should not only make the other party quit in spite of difficulties, but also not hurt their face and self-esteem, so that people have a lower level.Rejection is an art, and the following principles should be followed when rejecting others:
1. The first thing is to tell the truth.In the process of rejection, if you want to maintain a good relationship with the other party, you must adopt empathy and sympathetic tone to deal with it.When some people refuse, they dare not tell the truth because of embarrassment. Instead, they use evasive methods to cause many unnecessary misunderstandings to the other party.In fact, rejection is a very normal thing. When others want something from you, they will be more or less mentally prepared for it.As long as it is handled properly, there are not many people who will hurt the relationship because of rejection; it is hesitating and ambiguous when rejecting, which is disgusting and more likely to affect the relationship.

2. Choose the time, place and opportunity for rejection.When you reject someone, this is a factor that must be considered: refuse early, so as not to delay the other party's plan and hurt the other party.Express your attitude to the other party truthfully so that the other party is prepared.Resolutely refuse and avoid detours.When you politely refuse, you must make the other party aware of your attitude, and don't go around for a long time even if you don't know what you mean, let alone whether the other party can understand it.

3. Leave a retreat for the other party.Think carefully when you say no to someone who likes to stick to his own opinion and thinks he's right.This kind of person has a strong self-esteem, and the way of direct rejection will undoubtedly make them unable to step down.Therefore, you must first listen to the other party's words from beginning to end.After you have listened carefully to what the other party said, you will decide in your heart how to refuse and persuade the other party.It is best to quote the other party's words to "not sure" his request, so as to leave enough face for the other party and leave him a retreat.This kind of people are smart people, if you are "not sure", he will understand.

4. Use friendship to convince the other party.If you want to prevent your rejection from arousing resentment from the other party, it is best to let him understand that you are his loyal friend, and you are not forcing him to accept opposing opinions. considerate.

The courage to say "no" and learn to refuse is not to deliberately reject others thousands of miles away, but to better protect yourself and make yourself active on the big stage of society.Because the society is complex, and getting along with others does not rule out utilitarian purposes. You may not intentionally hurt others, but you cannot guarantee that others will hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. It is not any occasion or any gift for each of us. Can go, can accept.Our work, our responsibilities often drive us to restrain ourselves, to say no.In fact, in many cases, timely rejection and artistic rejection will not only not be hated by others, but will also win others' admiration for you.With courage, your wisdom can be brought into play, and your rejection can become funny; with humility, your sincerity can be believed, and your rejection can also become moving.

Thick Black New Mysteries

In this complicated society, you may more or less encounter some things that you don't want to do or don't want to do.And many times it is extremely reluctant in the heart, but it is inconvenient to refuse directly.Because people live in society and have to deal with all kinds of people, no matter how upright you are, you don't want to embarrass them.Regardless of whether the other party is well-intentioned or has ulterior motives.Saying no is an art to some extent.Knowing rejection will give you a sense of measure in dealing with some issues.Knowing how to say no, you will keep yourself and others from being in a dilemma in a very humorous atmosphere.If you learn to refuse, you will be able to do well in the arena of society and remain invincible forever.All our lives, we have been constantly playing games with right and wrong, and the one who laughs at the end is nothing more than the one who knows how to give in and refuse best.

(End of this chapter)