Thick black school

Chapter 74
There was a guy named Elusel who had been in the sales business for many years.He thought: If he put in a little more effort, he might be able to become a business partner with that plumber technician Buroklin who had a big business and excellent credit.But the plumber-technician was a crude, rough-and-tumble fellow.So it was a shock when Erusel first met him.

The plumber technician used to sit on a chair at his desk with a cigar in his mouth, and every time he saw Elusel he would say, "Go away! I don't want anything today, don't waste my money here." time!"

Because the leader of Elusel wanted to buy a house in Queens Village, Long Island, and open a branch.And the house happened to be in the vicinity of the plumber technician, so he must be familiar with the general situation of the house's surroundings.Therefore, Elusel tried to use another new method-the psychological technique of asking people for help.He decided to find a time to see the technician, and he was going to say: "Mr. X, I am not here to discuss business with you today, but to ask you for a small favor. If it is convenient for you, it only costs you 1 Minutes will suffice!"

The technician said indifferently: "Well! All right. If you have any ideas in your stomach, tell them!" The technician had a cigar in his mouth and looked like a wealthy man.

Elusel said: "I plan to open a branch in this Queen's Village. I believe you know the situation here better than anyone else, so I came here to ask you for advice. What do you think of this plan?"

The technician said unhurriedly: "This is an unprecedented situation!" Normally, the technician would yell at the salesman, but today it was uncharacteristically, what happened?It turned out that the salesman from the big company came to ask him for advice and advice, which made him feel noble.He pulled a chair, pointed and said: Sit down.

This time, in response to Elusel's visit, the technician spent an hour telling Elusel about the situation of the lead industry in Queen's Village in detail.Not only did he agree with Elusel to open a branch in Queens Village, but he also planned out the procedures for purchasing real estate for him, including shopping and opening, and at the same time, he gave him a reference to the business plan of a large-scale lead company.

People in the world always like to listen to good words and be flattered by others. When a person is praised by others, it is difficult to refuse the request of others.Therefore, in the process of asking for help, learn to "wear a top hat" skillfully, and you will achieve the desired effect.

Thick Black New Mysteries

As the saying goes, "a good word warms the winter three times". Once a person is praised and his value is recognized, he will always be overjoyed. On this basis, if you make your own request, the other party will naturally agree to it.Houheixue believes that psychological affinity is the beginning of others accepting your opinions and changing their attitudes. Therefore, if help seekers want to succeed in the process of asking for help, an effective way is to praise each other more. Send him a few more tall hats.Once the other party "wears" the high hat you gave him, he will no longer be ashamed to refuse your request, so he will easily agree to the conditions you put forward.If you want to go more smoothly on the road of asking for help, you must learn this trick.It should be noted that when giving a high hat, you should also pay attention to the occasion and propriety, and you must appear sincere, otherwise the effect will be counterproductive, thankless, and things will get into trouble.

Thick-faced and close, you must learn to invest in emotion when doing things.
[Zongwu Mantra] The nature of ordinary people is based on "I". I am opposite to my mother, and the child only knows that there is "I", so he takes the cake out of his mother's mouth and puts it in his own mouth.

We pay attention to "writing with emotion" when we write articles. In the same way, when asking for help, we can also use feelings as a breakthrough, and use various methods to stir the heartstrings of the other party and arouse their emotional resonance, so as to achieve the purpose of doing things. .Asking for errands is not always done among acquaintances, sometimes having to trespass into the territory of strangers.When we enter an unfamiliar interpersonal environment, if we want to open up the situation quickly, we must first seek a breakthrough in handling affairs.With a breakthrough, you can spread out from point to point or from one point to another, so as to express your own demands and promote the other party to get things done.Generally, thick black people are not stingy with their feelings when they ask for help, and they brazenly do everything possible to get close to and build relationships with people. They think that as long as things can be done, face is of secondary importance.

He Shen, a corrupt official in the Qing Dynasty, people scolded him for his insatiable greed, but they had to admire his ability to make money.He knows how to use his thick skin to make emotional investment, so he can skyrocket, ranking below one person and above ten thousand people, without falling down for years.And how many loyal ministers and righteous men, even if they are wise and handed down to the world, will inevitably bring disaster to their wealth. Their abilities have not been fully utilized, and they have become ghosts who died in vain.It is a huge loss to the country, to the family, to the people of the world and to my own family, to the hardships and lofty ambitions of my hard life.There are different paths to achieve the same thing. Loyal ministers choose the most direct and risky path, resulting in many losers; treacherous ministers choose the tortuous and circuitous path, so their wishes are fulfilled and they are strictly protected. Own.

When asking for help, there will be a sense of distance between the person asking for help and the person being asked, which will make it difficult to have a harmonious conversation.At this time, we can use some techniques to make the relationship between the two closer and shorten the distance between each other.

Just pay attention, as soon as you meet the other party, there will be a lot of external and internal information displayed in front of you, such as age, clothing, physical condition, living habits, hobbies, and even demeanor and psychology, etc. Grasp these characteristics, make use of them, and get close to others. It helps to get things done.

It was Xiaoliang's first time stepping into the house of the Director of Personnel, and just as he was seated, an old man in a Chinese tunic came out.To say hello, Xiao Liang immediately noticed that the old man was wearing a big round Chairman Mao badge on his chest, so he said:
"Old man, you brought this badge back from Shaoshan."

"Hehe, the young man has a good eye. This badge of mine was genuine more than ten years ago, when I was in Shaoshan..."

"Tell him about Chairman Mao, he's the only one talking about it for a few days and nights." The old man's daughter-in-law came over and interjected with a smile, "My dad is a serious member of the Association for the Study of Thought."

As soon as Xiao Liang found out, he opened up the family's chatterbox. The atmosphere of the conversation was very harmonious, and the effect of the work was naturally not bad.

One night, Xiao Zhang visited a colleague's house.After introducing myself, I sat down next to a five or six-year-old girl, and asked with a smile, "Have you gone to kindergarten yet?"

The little girl nodded with wide eyes.

"Can you clap your hands? -- Bai Suzhen, a thousand-year-old snake demon, has come down to repay Xu Xianen --"

"I will say, I will shoot!" The little girl was amused by Xiao Zhang, and stretched out her hands to play with Xiao Zhang.Soon, Xiao Zhang got along with the little girl, and the little girl's parents were also very happy.

Later, Xiao Zhang became a good friend of this colleague.

Xiao Zhang's success in communication lies in the fact that he has always been a caring person, accumulated certain game knowledge and methods of children, and displayed them in a timely manner to play a role.

It is an ideal way to do things through the links of the elderly, children and other relatives in the family of the person you are seeking to achieve the purpose of doing things.In addition, calling each other by their nickname or their first name can also shorten the distance between each other and achieve the purpose of success.

From a psychological point of view, when the psychological distance between two people is getting closer, their address also changes from title to surname to first name.However, there are also some people who have not met each other for a long time and are not considered close, but if he wants to get close to the other person, he may as well call him by his first name or nickname.

A teacher told about his own experience: "One time a student I taught came to ask me to be a matchmaker for him. At that time, I asked him why the relationship between the two developed so quickly. He replied: 'A certain time When I met her, she suddenly called out my name directly, which made me feel so close to her. Before that, the two of them only called each other by their surnames. The distance has a big impact."

Therefore, if it is difficult to get close to someone when you are looking for a job, you might as well use the way of address to shorten the distance between each other, and the tone must be natural, so that the other party cannot feel that you are putting on airs.If the distance between the two is thus close, then the matter will be easily resolved.

Mr. Li Zongwu believes that emotional investment does not care about whether there is something or how much something is. Sometimes things that are worthless can win people's hearts.

In Foxboro's early days, a life-threatening technological overhaul was urgently needed.

Late one night, a scientist broke into the president's office with a prototype that could indeed solve the problem.Seeing that the idea was unbelievable, the president thought about how to reward him.He rummaged through most of the desk drawers and finally found something. He bowed to the scientist and said, "This is for you." What he was holding was a plastic banana.

But regardless of how small the banana is, it satisfied the scientist who succeeded after many sleepless nights, because it is an honor and a sign of a person's success.These things seem to be worthless, but because of the integration of a kind of emotion, it shows that I have received a kind of recognition and a kind of respect from the boss.Under this kind of emotional investment, the subordinates are naturally heartbroken and willing to do whatever they want.

Thick Black New Mysteries

People are emotional animals. Everyone has the need to be loved, and at the same time, they all have kindness and compassion. Therefore, by using some techniques to make the relationship between two people closer and satisfying the emotional needs of others, you can To shorten the distance between each other, create a harmonious communication atmosphere, so as to successfully achieve the purpose of doing things.This is why those thick black people are used to using "emotional skills" in their lives.When dealing with the dark world, the emotional investment is "hypocritical", in the final analysis, it is for the pursuit of returns.Because, since it is an investment, there must be a return, and the best result is of course a small profit.

Good things always take a long time, so be patient
[Zongwu Mantra] Be patient, don't be in a hurry, if it doesn't take effect today, come back tomorrow, if it doesn't take effect this year, come back next year.

As the saying goes: "People's hearts are made of meat." No matter how difficult things are or how difficult the other party is, as long as you are good at proving your sincerity with actions, you will prompt the other party to think and understand your painstaking efforts. If you jump out of the box, then you will "bubble" out of hope.

When asking for help, many people feel that "it is difficult to ask for help", it is simply "breaking your legs and grinding your mouth", because you have something to ask for, so the other party is naturally qualified to show off, and usually they will not readily agree to you .At this time, only by "grinding" more can we accomplish what we want to do.However, "grinding" also needs to pay attention to strategy. You must not only persevere, but also show your sincerity. Use patient waiting and understanding to move others and soften their will. "Grinding" can make the other party accumulate a small psychological burden. When this psychological burden reaches a certain level, the other party can only make concessions.

There was an employee, Old Yan, who had been in the unit for many years, but he had not been made a regular due to political issues, so he came up with a solution—to treat the manager in charge of personnel to dinner.It's a clichéd way, but his approach is different from others.

At the dinner table, he just asked for more food, persuaded the manager to drink, and chatted with the manager. As for the issue of becoming a full-time employee, he kept silent until the end of the dinner.After a while, he proposed to invite the manager to dinner again.The manager thought to himself: This time he should have brought up the matter of begging me, but the second time was the same as the first time, and he still didn't say anything.In this way, when the manager was invited to dinner for the third time, the manager lost his composure and said: "Old Yan, do you have anything to ask me, just tell me." Old Yan said: "It's okay, it's okay , just to have a meal together.” When he was invited to dinner for the fourth time, the manager was really sorry, so he eagerly took Lao Yan’s hand and said, “Old Yan, if you have any difficulties, just tell me, I will definitely help you.” You do it!" Old Yan saw that he had reached this point in his words, so he confidently talked about his problem of becoming a full-time employee.As a result, the manager immediately made a decision: "Don't say anything, this matter should have been done long ago, I will definitely make the decision for you, just please!"

This is a clever way to do enough work in advance without piercing the window paper, until the person being begged can't hold back, and instead actively begs you to tell what you are asking for. The premise is that you must make people feel your sincerity, and not make people think that you are playing a rascal and get offended.

When we are rejected when we ask for help, we should not become angry with embarrassment, "Buying and selling cannot be done with righteousness", and we should show enough patience instead of being irritable, annoyed or angry.You should control yourself rationally, showing your understanding of the other party's situation and mentality, as well as your expectation and confidence in the turning point.In this way, you can put yourself in a strong position mentally, and put on a posture of "fighting a protracted war", which will shock the opponent's psychology.More importantly, learn to play by ear, use positive actions to influence the other party, and play by ear, in order to increase the chance of success.

Excellent staff usually have many qualities that people don't have, and patience is arguably the most important one.The so-called good things take time, the word "grind" can be understood as patience.Generally speaking, what patience expresses is the understanding of the other party's situation, the expectation of the turning point and the confidence in the success of seeking someone.With this state of mind, we can put ourselves in a strong position mentally, be able to stay in place, mobilize all our ingenuity, and find ways to break through the deadlock.It's worth it even if it takes some time.

From another perspective, "grinding" can also be understood as "soaking mushrooms". "Soaking mushrooms" consumes time, and time is just a weapon.Time is precious to everyone, and what people can't afford to waste the most is time.Therefore, if we confront each other with enough patience and put on a posture of "fighting a protracted war", we will have a shock to the opponent's psychology, and "bubble" versus "drag" is enough to urge them to change their original intentions and speed up. speed of work.Therefore, we have to calm down and sacrifice a little time patiently, but we can buy more time.

20 tons of asphalt are urgently needed for the construction of a college building.The school sent an assistant to the material department to apply for it, but the director in charge of the matter said that he was busy with work and would have to wait two months to pick up the goods.The assistant is very anxious, how can he wait for two months?In fact, there was stock in the warehouse, and the reason why the director didn't do it for him was because he didn't "pay tribute".After learning about this situation, he was even more angry.

But he struggled to control his feelings and to think of a solution.He had no money or anything, and besides he didn't want to do that.He was determined to "bubble" with the director.

From the next day, he came to the director's office every day, pleading and complaining to the director patiently.The director was annoyed and ignored him.The director ignored him, and he just sat and waited, opening his mouth whenever he got a chance, being polite, not noisy, and begging to speak.The director is too anxious to get angry, and can't afford to push or run away.When he "soaked" to the fifth day, the director couldn't sit still, and he let out a long sigh: "Oh, I've convinced you. Take care of you this time, and approve it to you in advance!"

Whether there is enough patience is also related to the strength of people's self-esteem.Some people are too thin-skinned and too self-respecting to withstand the first refusal, and whenever progress is blocked they blush, feel humiliated, annoyed, quarrel with each other, or walk away, never to look back.Although these people seem ambitious, they are losers who have no ability to achieve great things.

Of course, besides being patient, "soaking mushrooms" also requires certain methods and principles.For example, we can visit the door tirelessly to complain about our reasons and requirements, but don't expect to get an answer and deal with it soon. For this kind of thing, we must be mentally prepared for a long-term battle.

"Ruan Mo Hard Pao" is a special technique of asking for help.It can strive for positive effects in a negative form. It can show your determination and perseverance not to give up until you reach your goal, put pressure on the other party, and increase the chance of contact, more fully express your attitude, thoughts and feelings, so as to influence the other party. attitude to achieve success in doing things.

This thick and dark way of doing things seems simple, but not everyone can do it.There is a lot of knowledge in it. If you want to use this kind of handling skill proficiently, you must master the following skills:

1.Longer than self-control and patience.Sufficient patience is the premise and foundation of soft and hard foam.When there is a stalemate when asking for help is blocked, people's immediate reaction is usually to be irritable, frustrated, annoyed, or even angry.However, this doesn't help matters.You should control yourself rationally and adopt a patient attitude.At this time, what patience expresses is the understanding of the other party's situation, the expectation for the turning point and the confidence in the success of seeking help.With this state of mind, you will be able to put yourself in a strong position mentally, be able to stay in place, mobilize all your ingenuity, and find ways to break through the deadlock.Even if it takes a certain amount of time.

2.Good at playing by ear.Soft grinding and hard foaming, not only must be able to soak, but also be good at soaking.In other words, making a bubble is not about wasting time negatively, nor is it about trying to play rogue with others, but about being good at taking positive actions to influence and influence the other party, so as to promote the transformation of the situation for the better.As the saying goes: People’s hearts are made of meat, no matter how far they know each other, as long as you are good at proving your sincerity with actions, you will prompt the other party to think, and then understand your hard work, and jump out of the stubborn frame. You will "bubble" out hope.

3.Skillful use of language to attack the mind.Sometimes when you go to ask someone, the other party delays in doing it. It’s not because they don’t want to do it, but because they have practical difficulties or doubts.At this time, if you only rely on actions to "bubble", it will be difficult to be effective, and you will even "bubble" the other party and get annoying, which is not conducive to doing things.

(End of this chapter)