Thick black school

Chapter 75
In this case, the effort on the mouth becomes very important.Be empathetic, grasp the crux of the problem, and use language skillfully to attack the mind.Talking is the key to the heart.When you get your words to the point, you knock on the door of the other person's heart.

In short, it is difficult to succeed in one attempt when asking for help.Whether things can be done successfully, patience and persistence are the key.Being rejected by others, you can't be discouraged and retreat in spite of difficulties. Even the most stubborn people can't stand your toss.

Thick Black New Mysteries

Some people are too thin-skinned and have too much self-esteem when they ask someone to do something. They can’t stand the first rejection. As long as they encounter a nail and get blocked, they will feel humiliated and annoyed. Never look back.Houheixue is very opposed to this approach, and believes that the final result of doing so can only lead to self-care about face and disregarding matters, picking up sesame seeds and losing watermelon, which is of no benefit to the matter.Therefore, when we ask for help, in order to achieve our goals, we might as well be thick-skinned, be rejected, greeted with a smile, soft-hearted, stalking, clever and tricky, as long as there is a glimmer of hope, we must go all out to fight, Never give up on achieving the goal, thus prompting the other party to change their original intention.

Who says things are difficult?Courtesy comes naturally.
[Zongwu Mantra] To give is to give something, and there are two types of big and small: big give, take bags of silver dollars and banknotes to give; small give, such as spring tea, ham, and please go to restaurants.The sent people are divided into two types, one is the person who has the power to employ people, and the other is the person who can help me even though he does not have the power to employ people.

It is difficult to impress people's hearts by relying only on a solid tongue when asking for help.If you go away empty-handed, you often come back empty-handed.This is where the gift comes into play.

As the old saying goes, "Reciprocity is courtesy" and "Reciprocity is inappropriate". There is no free lunch in the world. If others work hard to do things for you, if you don't get anything in return, even if you don't say it, you will feel unbalanced in your heart.There is a saying that goes well, "The one who wears the clothes of others, bears the worries of others", which means that when you wear other people's clothes, you will have other people's worries or hidden worries in your arms.In other words, if you accept a gift from others, you have to do things for others.Therefore, Houheixue believes that if you want to ask people to do things, you must first learn to give gifts to others.When thick black people ask for help, they always have to bring something that the other party likes, and use the excuse of "a meager gift is not a respect, but I hope to accept it" to make the other party feel bad about refusing to accept it, thus Subconsciously contribute to it.

During the Spring and Autumn Period, the State of Jin first claimed hegemony and became the largest country among the vassals.At that time, there were two small vassal states in the south of Jin State, one was Yu State and the other was Guo State.The two countries, Yu and Guo, have the same surname and close branch, and they have a very close relationship. Because they are both small countries and close neighbors, they are closely related to each other. They made an alliance very early. If something happened, the two countries would send troops to each other to rescue them.For a long time, these two small countries have used this method to survive in the cracks of powerful countries, and no powerful country has the strength to annex these two countries at the same time.

At this time, in order to further expand the territory and dominate the countries, Duke Xian of Jin wanted to annex the two neighboring small states of Yu and Guo.But it is not easy to annex these two small countries, because the relationship between these two countries is good.If Jin attacked Yu, Guo would send troops to rescue; if Jin attacked Guo, Yu would send troops to help.

In 658 BC, Xun Xi, a minister of the Jin State, offered a plan to Duke Xian of Jin.He said: "If you want to capture these two countries, you must separate them so that they don't support each other. The king of Yu State is greedy, and we can just do what he likes." The horse and the wall of thorns, Jin Xiangong rode a good horse and enjoyed the beautiful jade every day.Xun Xi suggested that Duke Xian of Jin take out these two beloved treasures of the town, the yielding horse and the birch of thorns, and give them to Duke Yu.Xiangong is a bit reluctant.

Xun Xi said: "Your Majesty, don't worry, just let him take care of it temporarily. When Yu State is destroyed, won't everything return to your hands?" The Duke expressed the intention of friendship between the two countries, and gave two treasures of the town to Duke Yu.Duke Yu got a good horse and a beautiful biscuit, and thought he had made friends with the mighty state of Jin. He was so happy that he couldn't close his mouth.

After the state of Jin wins over the state of Yu, it deliberately creates troubles on the border between Jin and Guo, and finally finds an excuse to attack Guo.The State of Jin asked the State of Yu to let the State of Yu attack Guo through an excuse, and Duke Yu had benefited from the State of Jin.Gong Zhiqi, the minister of Yu State, heard about it, and immediately went to the palace to persuade Duke Yu again and again: "This matter cannot be done. Our two countries, Yu and Guo, have been friends for generations, and our lips and teeth are dependent on each other. Once Guo State is destroyed, our lips are dead and our teeth are cold. The State of Yu will be spared. Moreover, the powerful state is approaching, if we lose our long-term partner and military ally, the State of Guo, our country will soon perish!"

However, Duke Yu said: "We have already made friends with the mighty state of Jin. Now that state of Jin finally wants something from us, we can't offend it. Wouldn't it immediately cause trouble for the upper body? In order to make a weak friend, offend a strong one. A strong friend is a fool!" So he agreed to the state of Jin to use the road of the state of Yu to attack the state of Guo.For this reason, Yu and Guo broke off diplomatic relations.

The Jin army passed the road of Yu State smoothly and went to attack Guo State.Without the help of Yu State, the weak Guo State was quickly defeated by Jin State, and Jin State won without much effort.When the Jin army returned home, Rick, the general of the Jin army, gave part of the plundered Guo State property to Duke Yu.Duke Yu was overjoyed, and more and more believed that it was the right choice to make friends with the Jin State and give up the Guo State, so he warmly entertained Rick, the general of the Jin Army.At this time, Rick took the opportunity to pretend to be sick, saying that he could not bring troops back to the country, and that he needed to temporarily station the troops near the capital of Yu State.Duke Yu had no doubts, and thought that with Jin's army stationed in the country, other powerful countries would not dare to invade at will.

A few days later, Duke Xian of Jin led an army under the pretext of going to welcome Rick, who had returned from his class, and came to the State of Yu. Duke Yu went out of the city to meet him.Duke Xian of Jin invited Duke Yu to go hunting.Not long after Yugong was hunting, he saw a fire in the capital.When Duke Yu hurried back to the outside of the city, the capital had been forcibly occupied by the Jin army.In this way, the state of Jin easily destroyed the state of Yu.

The soldiers of the state of Jin searched out the treasures given to Duke Yu by the state of Jin before the war from the residence of Duke Yu - a good yielding horse and a bib of thorns, and sent them back to Duke Xian of Jin!
There are many reasons why Yu State was destroyed by Jin State, but it is directly related to Yu Gong's greed for small profits and his inability to see danger.Wars are always carried out around certain interests. Therefore, the application of the strategy of "luting them with profit" has been tried and tested in the course of combat.In real life, this strategy is also used by people in various fields of business.

To a person on the verge of starvation, giving a turnip is more touching than giving a mountain of gold.Gift giving should pay attention to art, and it should be different according to time, place and person.To use an idiom, it means that it varies from person to person and is appropriate according to the situation.He would disdain giving meat to a wealthy person, but he would dance for joy when giving a piece of meat to a beggar on the street.Because what a hungry person needs most is food, as long as it can fill his stomach, he likes it no matter whether it is delicious or not.And to send rice and noodles to a well-fed person, he must look down on it, because he doesn't need these things.Therefore, the gift should be sent to the idea, to give the other party the most favorite and most wanted things.

During the Warring States Period, Wei Ziqi worked as a doctor in the State of Cai, and was highly regarded by the king of the State of Cai.It's a pity that Cai Guo was a villain at that time and was often bullied by big powers.For this reason, Wei Ziqi was deeply disturbed, and discussed with the monarch to find a big country as a refuge.In the end, they chose the neighboring state of Chu.

But how can we convey this meaning to the king of Chu?How can it be successful?Also, what should be done to take into account the dignity of the country and achieve the goal?

This matter has troubled Wei Ziqi for a long time, and he often thinks about it day and night.Finally, he came up with a way out: find Gongyangdu, the attendant of King Chu.Gongyangdu is from Qi County in Cai Guoshan, and he is from the same hometown as Wei Ziqi.

So Wei Ziqi disguised himself as a merchant and went to Ying, the capital of Chu State.

When he arrived at Gongyangdu's mansion, Wei Ziqi asked his servant to deliver a box of things to Gongyangdu.After a while, Gong Yang Du personally led his family to meet Wei Ziqi.

What is it that makes the ram alone so important?It turned out that Wei Ziqi was also deeply troubled when he wanted to give Gongyang Du a gift in China at that time. He knew that the Gongyang Du had a huge production and was rich enough to rival a country. Ask someone to prepare 20 horse-drawn carriages for dried salted fish, a special product of Qi County in Cai Guoshan, and drive all the way to Chu State.

Gongyang alone has everything in Chu, and he has everything, but he has a hobby, that is, he likes to eat dried salted fish produced in his hometown, but he has been suffering from not being able to eat authentic dried salted fish. This time, Wei Ziqi With such a great gift, how could he not be happy, how could he not be happy?
This example tells us that when we "give gifts", how to give them and what to give them is very knowledgeable.Wei Ziqi is really very clever, he caught the hobby of Gongyang Du, a fellow villager, and he did what he liked, and met Gongyang Du very smoothly.

Giving gifts is human nature, but how and what to give is the key, especially for rich people. Giving him gifts will make him wary of you, and sometimes you think the gift is heavy enough, but when the other party sees it At this time, you should consider how to choose the gift that the other party likes or the price is appropriate.Sometimes, the gift does not lie in how expensive it is, the important thing is to send it to the heart of the other party.

Mr. Charles works for a large New York bank.Once, he was ordered to write a confidential report about a certain company.He only knew that the chairman of an industrial company had the information he needed, so he went to visit the chairman.When he walked into the office, a female secretary just poked her head out from another door and said to the chairman that there were no stamps today.

"I collect stamps for my son." Seeing this, the chairman explained to Charles.

Mr. Charles explained his purpose and began to ask questions.But the chairman's statement was vague, general, and ambiguous.He didn't want to speak out what was in his heart, no matter how well Charles tried to persuade him, it was useless.The time of this meeting was very short and had no practical effect.

Charles remembered what the chairman's secretary had just said—stamps, 12-year-old son... He also remembered the collection of stamps by their bank's foreign department—stamps taken from letters from all over the world.

The next day, Charles went again.Someone sent word in that he wanted to give some stamps to the chairman's son.The chairman was very happy, and in Charles's original words: "Even running for Congress is not so enthusiastic! He squeezed my hand and smiled. 'Oh, George! He must like this one. Look at this one, George will Treat it as a priceless treasure!" The chairman praised repeatedly, while fondling those stamps. We talked about stamps for a whole hour. A miracle happened, and he told me all the information I needed before I reminded him. Not only that, he also called someone to come and provide me with some facts, data, reports, and letters. When I went out, I remembered a sentence that a journalist often said: This trip is very rewarding!"

Charles returned with a rewarding experience just because he got the right gift.Some people think that only when the gift is expensive enough can the gift-giver's affection be reflected, but they have forgotten the old saying that "gifts are less important than affection".Just like Charles in the above example, stamps are worthless to him, but to the chairman who collects stamps for his son, they are priceless.Therefore, Charles sent stamps to the chairman's heart, and the chairman was naturally elated, and would provide Charles with any information.

Therefore, when giving gifts, it takes a little thought to consider what gifts to give.People who are good at giving gifts always choose the gifts carefully, and they are in the arms of the recipients.In this way, before you speak, the matter is half done.

Thick Black New Mysteries

There is "ritual" to travel all over the world, but without "ritual", it is difficult to walk an inch. Gifts play a vital role in interpersonal relationships, and are often used as a social lubricant and a stepping stone to do things.In the view of Houhei Xue, most people have the mentality of being greedy for petty gains. Use this mentality to give the other party some gifts without losing the opportunity when doing things, so that the other party feels that there are benefits to be gained, and he will naturally have a good impression of you. As a result, the idea of ​​"reciprocating peaches and plums" is born, thinking about doing something for you in return.If you want to get things done smoothly in interpersonal communication, you must learn this kind of "elegant" thick and dark handling skills.Once you've given the gift, it's half done before you even ask.

As long as things can be done, you might as well have the cheek to admit your mistakes.
【Zongwu Mantra】I said: "I'm afraid that you are not thick enough, as long as you are thorough, there is no progress and failure."

Under normal circumstances, we are in a weak position when we are looking for someone to do things. If we negotiate with the other party in a strong tone, it is difficult to achieve results. Insufficiencies and mistakes, things tend to be revealed and solved unexpectedly.A humble person will always be welcomed by people. Admitting your own mistakes will undoubtedly elevate the other party, and the other party's vigilance and hostility towards you will be reduced. It's not good to object and refuse.

Houheixue believes that when the other party insists on your own opinion, or even shows a condescending attitude, you can review your mistakes to the other party, show weakness and beg for mercy, get the other party's sympathy, and then get down to business and implement "negotiations". So as to make the other party succumb and change their minds, turn the customer into the main, and get things done.

In 1909, Duke Bilov was the prime minister of Germany at that time. At that time, Germany had reached the era of the last emperor, Wilhelm II.

At that time, a major event that shocked the world happened.Kaiser Wilhelm II made a public absurd statement in England, also published in the Daily Telegraph, that he was the only German friendly to England and that he had built a fleet against the threat of a Japanese attack, And to save Britain from Russia and France bullying and some other stuff.

Such words have never been seen from a European emperor in peacetime.The statement aroused public outrage across the continent, and the talk terrified Wilhelm II.Under such circumstances, William II asked Duke Bilov to take the blame for him. He wanted Duke Bilov to declare that he was not responsible for all the crimes. When he said this, it was Duke Bilov who gave him advice. .

Regarding this opinion of William II, Bilov protested: "I can't imagine that in Germany and England, anyone can believe that I can advise you to say this."

When Bilov finished speaking, he immediately understood how big a mistake he had made: the emperor was furious.He yelled, "You think I'm a donkey, and only I make mistakes like this, but you never will!"

At this time, Bilov finally understood that he should not condemn the emperor, but should praise him first.But now that he had done so, it was too late to regret it.Therefore, Bilov adopted another method.After the emperor criticized him, he began to praise the emperor.Such an approach will achieve very good results.He went on: "I am not at the level of Your Majesty. You are superior to me, not only in military affairs, in navigation, but in natural sciences, in many respects, Your Majesty. Whenever you talk about weather gauges, Your Majesty, When talking on the phone or talking about x-rays, I don’t understand, I can only listen and admire. I am a layman on these issues, and I have no knowledge of chemistry and physics.” Bilov continued: “However, I have a little historical knowledge , maybe it will be of some use in politics, especially in diplomacy."

Bilov was always elevating the emperor and belittling himself.Afterwards, the emperor forgave him.He shouted: "Didn't I always tell you? We always cooperate well with each other. So, in the future, we should also support each other."

During their conversation, he shook Bilov's hand several times.Later, he clenched his fists and announced: "If anyone speaks against Bilov to me, I will slap him without hesitation."

When the emperor was angry, Bilov saved himself in time.It was precisely because Bilov skillfully told his mistake first that a disaster was avoided.Similarly, you should also keep this in mind when you are looking for someone to do things. If you want the other party to do things according to your intentions, you must first admit your mistakes. will help you.

The place where Carnegie, the father of success studies, lived was almost at the geographic center of New York, but there was a forest within a 1-minute walk from his home.In the spring, the blackberry bushes were white with wild flowers, the squirrels nested in the woods, and the horse grass grew higher than the horses' heads.This is an unspoiled woodland called Forest Park.He often takes Reis for walks in the park.Reis is his little Boston Bulldog, a friendly little terrier; because he seldom meets pedestrians in the park, under normal circumstances, he does not wear a mask or put a dog on a leash for Reis.

One day, Carnegie took Reis for a walk in the park.At this moment he encountered a policeman on horseback who seemed impatient to assert his authority.

He scolded Carnegie: "Why do you let your dog run around without putting it on a leash or wearing a muzzle? Don't you know it's illegal?"

Carnegie replied: "Yes, I know, but I don't think it will bite here."

"You don't think so! The law doesn't care what you think. Here, it might kill a squirrel, or bite a child. This time it's fine, I won't pursue it, but if I see this again next time A dog in the park without a leash or a muzzle on, go and explain to Mr Judge yourself."

(End of this chapter)