Because of the pain, it is called marriage

Chapter 32 It's too late to regret (2)
Xuexin's alienated expression melted a little, and her words revealed a calm and calm: "The failure of the first marriage made me understand a lot. Finally, I know what kind of marriage I want. My ideal Marriage, it should be like a unique room, not too big, not necessarily gorgeous but complete, there is a warm atmosphere in the time between me and him, all the feelings deep in the hearts of both parties can be stored in it, even if People all over the world are betraying me, and here I can still find a lamb-like comfort." Having said this, Xuexin felt a warmth in her heart, she yearned for such a marriage, and believed that she would be able to own it.She will manage it well. She chooses the decorations in the house to be simple but must be elegant, it may not be romantic but must be harmonious, the windows may not be floor-to-ceiling, but they must face the wind. But there must be a bright moon and tree shadows.She doesn't want wooden floors, the reverberation of the hollow sound makes people irritated, and she doesn't want the oily and slippery floor tiles, which will make people feel cold and worry about slipping.She likes the warmth of the rug.The furniture in the house should not be complicated, just enough, not expensive, but comfortable.Of course, she and him come from different places and present completely different states, but they will have a perfect fit.She will not be a rib in his body, even God has no right to let her be attached; she will not be his other half, because they cannot be similar enough to make each other painful; she does not want to be his moon, Nor will he be her sun, they run in their respective skies.But they will subtly instill certain characteristics in the admiring gaze of the other party, there is me in you, and you in me, and they can always maintain their independence.They are responsible to each other, but don't be too restrained; they have love to give each other, but more understanding; they have obligations to each other, but more tolerance.She believes that she will meet such a person who can give her such a home!
Xuexin's earnest yearning expression of happiness made Yang Xuewu feel in a trance for a moment, his indifference was greater than his heart's death, Yang Xuewu knew that Xuexin would never come back, and once some things were lost, they could never be regained, so he recognized this fact The pain has completely swallowed every inch of his nerves.It's sad and ridiculous that some things just know their preciousness when they are lost, and only then do they want to have them again.Although he was very disdainful of his state of mind at this time, the face in front of him, the face he had been facing for more than ten years, had come to an abrupt end in his vision, and he could never shake it off.In this regard, many tears have dried up before they can flow out, and many words have been silent in the chest before they can be spoken.After a while, Yang Xuewu asked softly, "When are you leaving?"

"tomorrow."

"Go, pay attention to safety! Don't worry, child!"

"Yes. You also pay attention to your body, you have lost a lot of weight."

"Well, good." Yang Xuewu smiled bitterly.

"Then I'm leaving, goodbye." Xue Xin got up and said goodbye.

"Goodbye." Looking at Xuexin's back, Yang Xuewu felt his heart wrinkle, and the wrinkle was full of helplessness, sadness and annoyance.

On the way back, Yang Xuewu held the steering wheel but drifted away. He was thinking about how to talk to He Yun. According to He Yun's personality, she should have a big fight with him again, right?Thinking of Yang Xuewu, the child in He Yun's stomach, he was worried again. He Yun lost his temper so frequently and his mood fluctuated too much. I don't know if it will affect the child much, whether the child is healthy...

Yang Xuewu feels that life is a mess now, and he can't figure it out, but no matter how bad it is, life has to go on, sometimes the helplessness of life will push a person to the edge of a cliff, or you can hold your head up Stand tall and die heroically, or you'll have to turn around and kneel down in surrender.There are only two ways for people to choose.What is spirit?Eat it as a meal?It's not bad to live in a daze, let the spirit die.The spirit is dead, but the body is still alive. If the body dies, there is nothing left.Yang Xuewu turned the steering wheel violently and parked the car on the side of the road. He lay on the steering wheel and buried his head in his arms. It was like a sharp claw tearing at his broken heart. Xue Xin's indifferent smile Like a handful of white salt, sprinkled on his broken wounds.Yang Xuewu took a deep breath, no, he can't think about it anymore, this state is very bad, he has to go back to face his current life, his current family.After a long time, his mood calmed down a bit, Yang Xuewu thought for a while, then started the engine and drove towards the vegetable market, bought He Yun's favorite cooked food and vegetables, and bought some her favorite snacks, and then rushed home.

Yang Xuewu parked the car, walked upstairs with the vegetables in his hand, stood in front of the door, he rang the doorbell vigorously, but there was no answer for half a ring, he took out the key to open the door, the house was cold, he looked The clock on the wall was almost four o'clock in the afternoon.Putting down the dishes in his hands and walking into the bathroom, He Yun's changed underwear was thrown on the ground, which was really ugly. Yang Xuewu counted, there were seven in total.I remember my mother once told him that women's underwear should never be touched. In the future, my wife's underwear must be washed by herself, and it would be bad luck to help women wash their underwear.Yang Xuewu hesitated for a moment, thinking that he would ask He Yun for his daughter's affairs later, so he gritted his teeth and stretched out two fingers to pick up the underwear on the ground, put it in the basin, pour washing powder into it, and wash it. After washing, Yang Xuewu's nose A little sour, since I got married, I have been with Xuexin for more than ten years, why have I washed the clothes once?Not to mention washing Xuexin's underwear.The more he thought about it, the more wronged he became, Yang Xuewu cursed in a low voice.

He Yun held a bag of melon seeds in her hand with her belly puffed out, and walked slowly towards home on the rough concrete road under her feet.At the beginning, when she bought the house in this community, she didn't think much about it. She just hoped that she could have a place to live in this city and a house of her own. Now, whenever she walks on the rough concrete floor of the community At that time, a wave of unwillingness surged in her heart, she was really dissatisfied with the environment of this community.The roads in the community are narrow, long and wet. Every time it rains, the muddy water on the roads will not dry for a long time. The sewers are really bad.On both sides of the road at the gate of the community are itinerant vendors who sell kebabs and socks and underwear. After nightfall, women who sell pornographic discs gather at the gate, holding children in their arms, hawking in a low voice, and stretch out the discs in front of passers-by, hurriedly to bargain.The neighborhood of this community is full of the messy scene at the bottom of life, survival, busyness and struggle, and the toughness of the grassroots.At the other end of the road, there are many tall buildings, beautiful and beautiful.The discordant two voices, 180-degree unity of opposites, are the scenery on her road.Every day, she runs back and forth on both ends of the road with her belly outstretched. Life is swaying, turbulent, and continuous on the road. She yearns for the tall building opposite, yearning for the splendor.Is the current life she chooses willingly?It does not seem.But, can she have a better choice?Whenever she thinks of this, her heart clenches, what an insecure world she lives in, can she not choose this path?

Just arrived home after eating the melon seeds, He Yun clapped her hands and took out the key to open the door, and immediately smelled a scent coming from the kitchen.Hearing the sound of the door, Yang Xuewu poked his head out from the kitchen, and said with a smile, "Hurry up and wash your hands, the food will be ready soon, and there is your favorite food." He Yun went to the bathroom to wash her hands suspiciously, and saw that she was changing clothes on the floor. The panties that came down were gone too, she went to the balcony to have a look, sure enough, those panties were fluttering in the wind.He Yun woke up from the shock and immediately became alert.Yang Xuewu served the hot food, and flattered him: "Eat it while it's hot, and eat more if it tastes good, so that my baby will grow strong." He Yun didn't buy into him, her eyes were like needles Stabbed on his smiling face: "I can tell you, I will eat the food, if you want to discuss something with me, don't talk about it!" Looking at Yang Xuewu's congealed smile for a moment, He Yun thought to herself , It is estimated that his nose must be crooked.Yang Xuewu was at a loss for words for a moment, and finally said: "I want to discuss something with you."

He Yun lowered her head and ate the food, secretly sneered in her heart, they both knew each other well, why are they doing this?Spike joke!

Yang Xuewu said: "It's like this. Xuexin will go out to study for two months. During these two months, I have to take care of my daughter's food, lodging and sleeping."

He Yun put down her chopsticks: "Your ex-wife made that phone call today? Let me just say, is it so sneaky to answer a phone call?"

"I'm talking about the child, don't talk about other things!" Yang Xuewu said holding back his anger.

"Qi Xuexin went out to study, why should you let her care about her daughter?"

"That's my daughter too!" Yang Xuewu was a little unhappy.

"Yes, that's your daughter! Then why are you talking to me?" He Yun said coldly.

Yang Xuewu became angry, and his voice became louder: "You woman, do you still know how to read and write? Why are you so unreasonable?"

He Yun gritted her teeth and retorted: "I'm reasonable? Is it because you and your ex-wife are in bed? I have to be reasonable and think, it's okay, it's just one of your old clothes, and it won't hurt to wear it once in a while?"

"You, you, you!" Yang Xuewu was trembling with anger, "He Yun, you, you are just an animal, a low-level animal, a cold-blooded animal! You have no emotion, no heart and no righteousness, are you still a human being?"

"I'm ruthless? Is it because I want you to go back to Qi Xuexin to sleep with her every now and then? I just don't understand. Why does she come to you whenever she has something to do when you are all divorced? Apart from you, she has no other. Is it easy to find a man? She is so no one wants it? If no man wants it, she can go to her relatives. Could it be that her relatives are dead and must find you?" He Yun was furious, stomping her feet and scolding .

"He Yun, don't force me to hit women!" Yang Xuewu's eyes were red, "I tell you, you have to agree if you agree, or you have to agree if you don't agree, my daughter, I'll take care of it!" After finishing speaking, Yang Xuewu She flung her hands and hid in the bedroom, letting He Yun cry in the living room.After a while, the sound of dishes breaking came from the living room, Yang Xuewu hid his head under the quilt, thinking bitterly: "I'll let you fall, the days are over!"

At night, He Yun kept silent, giving Yang Xuewu a cold shoulder.

The next morning, Yang Xuewu got up, walked into the living room and looked at the mess, feeling annoyed and sad in his heart, he gritted his teeth and let it go.After washing, before leaving, after thinking about it, he still couldn't help but say to He Yun's back in the bedroom: "These days, you take care of yourself. Since you don't agree with me taking care of my daughter, I can only go to my ex-wife's house to accompany her." Baby, until her mother comes back!" As the door slammed shut behind him, there was a sudden silence in the room, the silence of a grave.He Yun, who was wrapped in a thick quilt, felt like a mummy, tightly wrapped in layers of shrouds, stiff and numb when she lost her breath, and dry and condensed when she stopped thinking.A wave of hatred rose in He Yun's cold heart. That half-aged mistress Qi Xuexin not only took the best time of her husband Yang Xuewu, but also ransacked him, took away all the money and the house, and left a naked man. Commander to her.That's not to mention, now Qi Xuexin still haunts her and Yang Xuewu, making her family restless.It is said that sex on the bed is a good way to solve the conflicts in the relationship between husband and wife, but since she became pregnant, the two of them have almost no physical contact.Without the sweetness of love, even the joy of sex has disappeared. The life of her and Yang Xuewu from the time of marriage to the present is a stagnant pool, dull and boring. Apart from quarreling or quarreling, both of them are stern-faced. Expressionless, sometimes sitting together for a long time without saying a word.Thinking of this, He Yun was as dejected as a defeated rooster.

Before boarding the plane, Xuexin sent Yang Xuewu a message: Xiaojing will be handed over to you, I have already agreed with her.If she loses her temper, you should bear it more.

In the morning, Yang Xuewu was helping a uremic patient undergo kidney transection surgery. When he received her message, he was preparing to enter the operating room.Yang Xuewu stared at the screen of the mobile phone in a daze. Is the word "caring" used too much?He didn't react until the nurse urged him, so he briefly replied "Don't worry" to Xue Xin, then turned off his mobile phone and walked into the operating room.

(End of this chapter)