Because of the pain, it is called marriage

Chapter 40 Remorse (3)
He Yun suffered from insomnia, she couldn't fall asleep all night, her eyes were wide open staring at the mobile phone on the bedside table, the mobile phone was silent as always.These days, apart from accepting a few spam messages from the mobile company and a congratulatory text message from Li Zhi, her cell phone is silent.Yang Xuewu hadn't come back for two weeks, she called him a few times, and when he saw it was her number, he immediately hung up, He Yun knew that Yang Xuewu was determined to fight her to the end.

At night, He Yun suffered from insomnia again, her mind was full of chaos, she was extremely tired but could not fall asleep.She kept tossing and turning on the bed, counting the sheep from one to more than 5000 sheep, but she still couldn't sleep.As a last resort, she began to count backwards... Finally, her mind gradually became trance-like, and drowsiness slowly crept up her body, pressing heavily on her eyelids.In the haze, the mobile phone rang violently, and He Yun jumped up, grabbed the mobile phone and put it to her ear, "Yang Xuewu—" Tears welled up in her eyes.

"What, are you dreaming in broad daylight? You actually called your husband's name to your sister." Li Zhi giggled on the other end of the phone.

He Yun raised her head and looked out the window, it was already dawn.Disappointment made He Yun's internal organs tighten, and she said in a depressed mood, "It's you! I thought you were so busy showing off your love to the old man in Taiwan that you forgot about me."

Li Zhi paused for a moment: "A while ago I had an abortion and my body was resting so I didn't have time to contact you. What's the matter? How are you doing?"

"Abortion? Are you crazy? You are old, why didn't you give birth?" He Yun was taken aback.

"I was born crazy! That old man is like an empty beer bottle, it's useless! To tell you the truth, I've already divorced him."

He Yun couldn't believe it: "Why? Didn't he treat you very well? That Taiwanese guy is considered rich, why did he get divorced again? Who would want you after you have been divorced several times?"

Li Zhi snorted: "No one wants me? Haha, what a joke. What is divorced twice? There are several men around me. As long as someone is willing to marry me, it means that I am attractive. If a person lives for a day, he will marry me." Struggle for a better life for yourself. The struggle of our women is not to create wealth, but to cultivate the ability and means to enjoy the wealth created by men. Since there are better men, why should I be tied to that old man? "

He Yun wanted to say something, but heard the door being roughly kicked a few times, and Li Zhi called on the phone: "Open the door quickly, don't tell me you're not at home! What kind of crappy place do you live in? It's hard for me to find it! "

He Yun was surprised and delighted, threw the phone away, jumped out of the bed and rushed out to open the door. Li Zhi was carrying the LV bag and squinted at her with a Pan Jinlian-like smile on his face, his eyes and expressions all showed confidence and pride , with short light brown hair, delicate makeup and a warm yellow down jacket make the whole person more enchanting and flamboyant.Seeing He Yun, Li Zhi's face froze, and he stared at her in surprise: "My God, my grandma Yun, are you taking drugs? Why are you so thin? Look at you, you have a yellow face, hanging Looking at the shit, the nasolabial folds on the cheeks are so deep..."

"Li Zhi!" Before Li Zhi finished speaking, He Yun hugged her and burst into tears.

"Oh, my grandma Yun, what's the matter with you? Come on, come on, sit down and talk slowly after I change my shoes." Li Zhi took a pair of slippers and changed them, and He Yun was still crying Out of breath.Li Zhi helped her sit down on the sofa, and patted her on the back with his hands: "Good boy, don't cry."

He Yun was crying so darkly, Li Zhi patiently waited for her to finish crying, and handed her a lot of tissues to wipe her nose.In He Yun's tears, Li Zhi not only hears sadness, but also hears He Yun's fear of the future. Li Zhi has to wait patiently for He Yun to release them all.Finally, He Yun's mood calmed down, Li Zhi stretched out his hand and pulled her cheek lovingly, jokingly said: "Look at your expression, you really look like a cat full of frustration and hatred, come, tell me Tell me, what wronged you?"

He Yun complained tearfully, she eagerly wanted to reproduce everything that happened recently before Li Zhi's eyes, at this moment, she was salivating, her mouth was dry, and her whole body was in a kind of frantic restlessness.Li Zhi calmly let her saliva splash on her face. When He Yun finally finished speaking, she stood up, patted her buttocks and looked around the whole room. There were used bowls piled up in the kitchen sink that had not been cleaned in time. The chopsticks are covered with scabs.Li Zhi couldn't help but click his tongue: "What kind of life are you living!"

He Yun was a little resentful: "Did you hear what I told you just now?"

Li Zhi tilted his head: "I heard it!"

He Yun became angry: "Is this the only reaction you have?"

Li Zhi ignored her, walked over and grabbed the bag on the sofa, took He Yun's arm and walked out: "Go, I'm hungry. Go out and find a place to eat, let's chat while eating."

Li Zhi dragged He Yun to a coffee shop and found a seat at the back.As soon as they sat down, a waiter immediately brought them the menu with a gold-inlaid bone china plate and a signature smile.

This is a French-style coffee shop, with a blue and black tone, red candles flickering on the elegant solid wood carved dining table, jazz music and the strong aroma of coffee swirling in the space, permeating... It feels like a world away.He Yun felt that she liked this feeling very much: nothing.I don't know where it came from, and where it will go.

"Two cups of cappuccino, two steaks, two egg custards, and a plate of fruit salad." After Li Zhi finished speaking, he smiled at He Yun and said, "Would you like some rice? We also have beef noodles, hehe, Although the decoration here is very Western, it is actually a combination of Chinese and Western, and you can have fried rice with eggs.”

He Yun forced a smile and said, "Enough, I can't eat anymore."

"Okay, that's all." Li Zhi handed the menu to the waiter.

After the waiter left, He Yun's eyes were red and tears almost fell down: "Li Zhi, you don't sympathize with me at all..."

Li Zhi sighed and said, "Yun, let's get a divorce!"

"I won't get divorced even if I die!" He Yun stood up excitedly, and Li Zhi quickly tugged at her sleeve, complaining: "Sit down. What are you doing! Let me tell you, you are already It has become like this, what else do you want if you don't get a divorce?"

"If I procrastinate, I will procrastinate him to death!" He Yun said viciously.

"Take a good look in the mirror and see what you have been dragged into. You and Yang Xuewu got together halfway. He has basically been stereotyped by his ex-wife. You should try to adapt to him. , instead of blindly wanting to reform him. In fact, the marriage between you and him is to blame for your failure to manage it well." Li Zhi said.

"If you divorce now, it's too cheap for him!"

"It's better for him than to suffer himself to death! Think about it, do you have to quarrel with him until you die? I think it's better to be a stranger. It's better to be a stranger than an enemy."

He Yun burst into tears: "I don't know what to do, he won't come back now, he won't even answer my phone... His eyes are full of hostility... I'm divorced, I still look like this Who can I be with? Who else wants me..." She raised her teary eyes and asked pitifully, "Li Zhi, how can you live so chicly? Why can't I?"

At this moment, when the waiter came to serve the dishes, He Yun turned her head in embarrassment.

"Come on, let's eat something first." Li Zhi put a few pieces of beef into He Yun's bowl.

"I really can't eat it." He Yun choked up and said.

Li Zhi put down his chopsticks, looked straight at He Yun, and said seriously: "Do you know why I live so chicly? The biggest difference between me and you is that I am willing to rely on men to create a good life for myself, but I never put All hope rests on men! I feel that in my life, marriage is not a necessity for me, but an ornament that should be prepared. A happy marriage can make my life bright and beautiful, just like a delicate ornament It can add more charm to me. And an unhappy marriage will only make a person's life fall into the abyss of pain. A marriage that can't add fun to one's life, what do you want it for? The current marriage between you and Yang Xuewu is no longer Become a heavy shackle, lose its decorative effect on you, and only make your life dark and painful, why don't you be brave, calmly and resolutely lift this shackle, and find the decoration that suits you again? Get out of suffering After the siege of the city, you will find that the outside world is actually very exciting!"

He Yun shook her head, sighed deeply, and said in a sad tone: "Yang Xuewu, how did you think it was a treasure at the beginning, why did this treasure become like this when it came to me?"

"People say that marriage is like shoes. Only you know whether they fit you. There are many beautiful shoes in the world, but in the end it depends on whether they fit your feet. Don't just covet the luxury of shoes and hurt your feet. Others see What we see are shoes, but what we feel are feet. For us, feet are always more important than shoes. Open a hole in the face and go outside to cool off. This Yang Xuewu was like someone else's shoes at the beginning. They have been worn to fit by others, and the upper is also worn thin and fragile. When you come here, when you grind your feet Well, yes, if you use a little effort, the shoes will be torn. Your feet are more valuable than shoes, and if your shoes are torn, your feet will be cold! Why do you still need these torn shoes?"

Li Zhi's words caused a huge wave in He Yun's heart. She looked at Li Zhi stupidly, Li Zhi patted her cheek, and comforted her: "Hey, don't go into a dead end, don't divorce, you force him , he will also force you, until one of them is forced to death. Can you guarantee that the one who died is not you?"

"Why did he become like this when he came to me?" He Yun still didn't give up.

"Hey! Fool, you used to stand outside someone else's siege and look at the scenery. What you saw was a beautiful landscape of blue bricks and red tiles. Did you see the potholes and weeds overgrown inside? When you invaded someone else's city, you found that it was not Then it's too late to be perfect, and you've already paid a high price!"

He Yun murmured, "I just took a shortcut to improve my life. Yang Xuewu can be considered a successful person after all. He has a house and a car. Housing prices in this city are so high. Find a college graduate like me. I don’t know that only in the Year of the Monkey can we live a stable life. I am too poor to walk out of the countryside. Besides, I was not all interested in material things back then. My retribution?"

Li Zhi laughed: "Do you think you are the only one like this? Young people born in the 80s and 90s grew up in the era of utilitarianism, and now everyone's mate selection criteria are inevitably materialized. Because the better the material conditions, the higher your starting point." , start early, and the probability of success is high. When others are still fighting for a house, you have already studied abroad because of your superior economic conditions. In a person's life, money can save you time, physical strength and energy. The stepping stone and impetus for upward struggle. The economic base determines that the superstructure is also in line with modern people's view of marriage and love. Therefore, it is not surprising that your view of marriage and love has a material tendency. Not only you, but also me. It's just that you and I am like two different bartenders, and marriage is a cocktail. We pour sweet, bitter, spicy and various colors of wine into the glasses according to our own ideas. Different people make different cocktails. I don’t know. You will bring your marriage to this point. Yun, now your city is facing an earthquake-like destruction and a tsunami-like submersion, and you still don’t want to evacuate?"

He Yun stared blankly at Li Zhi, with eagerness, expectation and visitation in her eyes, and at the same time, a faint resentment and sadness appeared in the depths of her eyes: "I'm divorced, can I really still be happy?" Is there a future? After divorce, he will definitely remarry his ex-wife, so how unwilling I am!"

"Look at you, are you in a dead end again?" Li Zhi tapped her forehead vigorously with his fingers, "Why do you have no future? Don't you lose your uterus? That's nothing! Except that you can't have children, other things It doesn’t affect anything. There are still many people with healthy wombs who can’t give birth. You have to remember that it’s only [-] days to be a human being. If you count them, you’ll be gone. Find more for yourself. Lezi, why make trouble for yourself? Divorced, you can’t find a man? How easy it is to find a man who treats you better than him, Yang Xuewu, all over the world! After divorce, Yang Xuewu treats you better In other words, it’s just a stranger. It’s none of your business who the stranger likes to remarry with? Why can’t you figure out such a trivial matter? If I don’t come back this time, you must drive yourself to death.”

He Yun smiled sadly: "After listening to your persuasion, I really feel much better. In fact, I also want to get a divorce, but I just don't want to."

"Actually, people, a momentary mistake casts the destiny of a person's life. The biggest regret is not that the wrong choice leads to the wrong result, but that many people know it before they take the wrong step, and go on. I will bring myself great misfortune and disaster, but still fail to stop my footsteps at the most critical moment! So, the trajectory of life turns to the wrong side, so one step is wrong and one step is wrong. So, I feel that I can’t You can’t change the past, and you can’t start over. It’s also my fault, I didn’t resolutely dissuade you back then, but instead gave you advice. Sigh!”

"How can I blame you! People are like this. The more you can't get it, the more you want to get it. However, after paying a lot and finally getting it, you find that this thing you want to get is not what you need the most and is the most suitable for you. It’s just that at the beginning, it became the focus of my eyes, and I couldn’t see other things.” He Yun smiled wryly and shook her head, “No matter how much you persuaded me back then, I’m afraid I couldn’t stop the car.”

"Now it's too late to brake."

"Yes, when I was outside the city, I felt that the scenery inside was not so good. After I entered, I realized that his city had been built by his ex-wife and there was no more than half an inch of extra land. It can't bear the weight, and with a little effort from me, the whole city collapsed. The prosperity I dreamed of, together with my own body and spirit, were also buried by the ruins of the city, and I couldn't get up..."

(End of this chapter)