aren't we in love

Chapter 26 I, Maybe I'm in Love With You
Cheng Duanwu had been reluctant to look at it, but she couldn't help it in the end.Winter's immature questioning was like countless hands holding her heart tightly, and she felt that she was about to suffocate.

She thought she was cruel enough, and for so long she didn't want to try to restrain herself, so that she could give up on herself and feel at ease;

But it still doesn't work.Lu Yingqin took her closer to the house, and she got closer to her child, so she could no longer be as calm as she said.

She was almost strangled by self-blame, and a strong sense of responsibility flowed through her body.She felt that she was going to be driven crazy by all kinds of emotions.

Tears fell down uncontrollably, she was like a paranoid lunatic, at this moment the deep and bone-biting thoughts controlled all her consciousness.She trembled and groped, grabbing Dong into her arms.

She pressed against Dong Dong's face tightly, and the soft touch of the child's skin made her heart break.

"Mom didn't want you." Cheng Duanwu explained feebly.

"Mom..." Dongdong burrowed into Cheng Duanwu's arms aggrievedly, and the child's white hands tightly hugged Cheng Duanwu's neck. He tried his best, almost with a bit of stubbornness, The face kept rubbing against Cheng Duanwu's cheeks, "Mom, don't want me, I will be obedient in the future, don't want me, okay?"

Cheng Duanwu was very sad, he didn't know how to respond to the child's pleading, so he could only hug Dongdong tightly, crying almost hoarsely.

This is the longest separation between mother and child since they were born in winter.Cheng Duanwu once said that without this child, she hardly knew how to endure every suffering.In winter, the child suffered a lot with her.At the worst time, Cheng Duanwu couldn't afford any expensive things, so he could only steam an egg for him every day.In a small enamel bowl, eggs are beaten and mixed with water and steamed together with rice in a rice cooker. Pour some sesame oil into the steamed eggs. This is a winter meal.The child was greedy, so satisfied with the smell, he stretched his neck, as if the bowl of eggs was some kind of delicacy in the world.

Dong Dong has always been so sensible that it makes people feel distressed, he never makes trouble with her.Sometimes the child is naughty, and she will beat him when she is very angry.The child is stubborn, and he doesn't know how to cry after being beaten, and he doesn't know who he looks like with his teeth gritted.He never held grudges, Cheng Duanwu beat her, and he forgot about it after only one night's sleep.The next day, she was still sticky calling "Mom" and "Mom" to follow her...

Such an obedient child, Cheng Duanwu himself didn't know how she was so determined to give up.

She thought that she would never be able to see her child again in this life, and she told herself repeatedly that since she had chosen to let him live a good life, completely forgetting about this child would be the best help for his future.His child doesn't need a useless mother like her, he just needs the best education and a good material environment.She couldn't afford all of this.Couldn't afford it, so she gave up.

Lu Yingqin was a cruel executioner who forcibly tore open her hard-fought wounds, dripping with blood.She didn't want to show her weakness in front of anyone, but at this moment, the child's cry broke her down, and she no longer had the will to fight against Lu Yingqin.

"Good boy, mom won't want you... no..." She lost, she lost to the cruel reality, she was desperate to live, she couldn't bear to part with her child, and she wanted to continue living as long as she could.

She compromised with Lu Yingqin again, she wanted to slap herself hard a few times.

At night, she fell asleep with Dong in her arms. The child hadn't slept with her for a long time, so greedy that he wrapped her hands and feet tightly, for fear that she would run away as soon as he fell asleep.I was probably tired from crying in winter, my upper and lower eyelids were fighting, but I still couldn't sleep.The long eyelashes kept shaking.

Cheng Duanwu felt distressed, touched Dongdong's head, and said softly, "Why don't you sleep?"

Dong Dong blinked his eyes and pouted his mouth: "Mom sleeps first, I'm afraid that my mother will disappear when I fall asleep."

Cheng Duanwu felt sour and wrinkled his nose, "Mom will never be gone, and mother will never leave Winter again."

Dongdong stubbornly shook his head: "I dreamed that my mother came to pick me up several times, but when I woke up, my mother disappeared, so I won't sleep this time."

A young child doesn't know how to hide his emotions, and the frustration and loss in his eyes made Cheng Duanwu's self-blame even deeper.Cheng Duanwu's voice was a little trembling, "It's definitely not this time, sleep well in winter, mom won't want to leave you."

She lowered her head and kissed Dong Dong's white and tender face.

Winter looked at Cheng Duanwu hesitantly, "Really?"

"real."

Dong Dong smacked his lips, suddenly remembered something, and asked, "Mom, where is Uncle? Why didn't you come with you?"

The child's innocent eyes were still shining in the dark, Cheng Duanwu was poked in the wound, but he couldn't vent.She didn't know how to answer.Cheng Duanwu gently combed the child's hair with his fingers, trying to fabricate it as beautifully as possible, "Uncle has gone to a far away place. He is very busy and can't stay with Dongdong all the time." Cheng Luoming's funeral Lu Yingqin did not invite Dongdong to attend, Cheng Duanwu has no objection to this.She couldn't even face the fact that she couldn't let the ignorant child experience such a farewell pain early.

Winter's bright star-like eyes rolled, and he asked cautiously: "Is uncle going to 'marry'? Aunt Zhang Qiao said that uncle will also get married, and he will have children in the future, and he has to take care of his own children." , there is no time to worry about winter.”

Cheng Duanwu was silent for a while, and it took a long time to respond: "Yes, uncle has a new home."

Heaven is also a new home, right?

"Is the new home better than now?"

"Yes."

"Then uncle can live in the new house. Our house is so crowded that uncle cannot fit in because he is tall. He bumps his head every time he takes a bath."

"En." Cheng Duanwu's eyes were hot, and he stroked Dongdong's hair: "Hey, go to sleep."

"I want to listen to my mother tell a story."

"it is good."

"..."

The child was so tired that he fell asleep after a while.Cheng Duanwu couldn't fall asleep anyway.The child was still clinging to Cheng Duanwu tightly when he fell asleep.This appearance made Cheng Duanwu a little sad.She opened her eyes and looked at the cold room.This was her former home, and even though the decoration hadn't changed, she couldn't find a trace of familiarity.Instead, I feel intense discomfort.

The lights in the room were not turned on, and the antique furniture was hidden in the darkness, only the silhouettes could be vaguely seen.Silver moonlight pours in through the window screens, outlining the sweet sleeping face in winter.Cheng Duanwu stared blankly at the child who looked more and more like Lu Yingqin, and his heart was complicated.

In the past, she desperately gave birth to the child, thinking despicably, maybe Lu Yingqin would accept her because of this child.She waited for the stars and the moon, but all she could do was forget.

He forgot that there was someone like her, or he didn't even bother to think about someone like her.

She was bent over by life, there was no love in her life anymore, she learned not to be greedy and to face the reality, she woke up at the end of suffering.But Lu Yingqin refused to let her go, and he took her back to the nightmare of the past.In the past, the child she thought would be the reason for Lu Yingqin to turn back, turned out to be the magic weapon he used to subdue her.

She hated, hated herself for not being cruel enough, but she couldn't persuade herself to give in completely.This state made her extremely uncomfortable.She was choked up and panicked, and while she was sleeping soundly in winter, she got up and went to the toilet to wash her face.The cool water hit the skin, and the person immediately woke up, and the eyelids were a little heavy, probably from crying for a long time, and they were slightly swollen.

Everything was silent, she couldn't fall asleep, so she stood by the window to blow the wind.The night was as cold as water, and the cool wind brushed against her ears, and she felt that the stuffiness in her heart was relieved a lot.The faint smell of freshener in the room made her feel confused.Lifting the window screen, a whole patch of brilliantly blooming roses in the courtyard came into view, neat and uniform, swaying in the wind.

Cheng Duanwu felt a little lost.

It turned out that everything could not go back a long time ago, the piece of white roses that belonged to her had long been replaced by roses.

Although Yu Jiajia is not here, there are shadows of her life everywhere in this house.The exquisite flowers on the dining table, the custom-made expensive window screens, and even the unique taste of the bed sheets and quilts... These are not things that Lu Yingqin can do.

The utilization rate of this villa is not high, there are only a few rooms in total, she can almost guess where Yu Jiajia lives, but she is not so curious to see.

This is no longer her place, she knows.She didn't know why she sighed lightly.Her chest rose and fell slightly, she didn't like this feeling, she was superstitious, and didn't want to sigh all the pitiful blessings.

After standing for a long time, the left side of my body became numb.She thumped her legs, ready to go back to her room.When she turned around, she realized that Lu Yingqin was standing silently behind her, only one step away, she almost screamed out of fright.

She tried her best to calm her uncontrollable heartbeat, and almost put up her whole body's defenses, "What are you doing?!"

Lu Yingqin didn't get angry, his profile was outlined by the shadow of the moon in twists and turns, almost a perfect curve.He smiled softly, with joyful complacency in that smile, and it was difficult for him to say softly: "Why don't you sleep so late?"

Cheng Duanwu didn't like his appearance of hiding a knife in his smile, so he replied coldly: "What's none of your business?"

Lu Yingqin wasn't angry either, but just confessed: "From now on, you will live here with that brat."

Cheng Duanwu resisted instinctively: "No."

"It's not up to you."

"Lu Yingqin, why do you want me and Yu Jiajia to be here, everyone is ugly, is it necessary?"

Lu Yingqin's thin lips were pursed into a line, but he still had a condensed smile, and he tried his best to restrain the dark tide in his eyes, "From now on, there will only be that brat here with you."

"No!" Cheng Duanwu's sharpness was still obvious.She didn't know why she resisted like that, but when she thought of Yu Jiajia's past here, she couldn't bear it and got goosebumps all over her body.

"why?"

"nausea."

Cheng Duanwu's appearance of refusing people thousands of miles away made the smile on Lu Yingqin's mouth gradually disappear, and his eyes gradually became cold, "Cheng Duanwu, do you have to use this attitude?"

"Yes." Cheng Duanwu replied firmly: "I can't think of any other suitable attitude when facing a person like you."

"Heh." Lu Yingqin's eyes gradually became darker, he narrowed his eyes slightly, and said in a deep voice, "Very good, Cheng Duanwu, he is really getting sharper and sharper now." He satirized her: "Didn't you just stay stubborn before?" , Do you want to die once and for all? Cheng Duanwu, in fact, you are not very carefree."

"Isn't that what you want? You don't want me to die. If I die, you won't have any toys."

Lu Yingqin's expression changed suddenly, he remained silent for a long time, just staring at Cheng Duanwu thoughtfully, that sharp gaze made Cheng Duanwu unavoidable.There was an increasingly dangerous atmosphere in the air, and Cheng Duanwu grabbed the window sill behind him nervously.

Suddenly, he pulled the corners of his mouth and smiled, his brows and eyes were full of jokes, like a cat catching a mouse, lazily stretching out its paws to tease the dead prey.

He gradually approached Cheng Duanwu, "Cheng Duanwu, guess why I don't want you to die? Maybe, I don't want you to die?" He said in his ear: "Cheng Duanwu, have you ever thought about the worst possibility? I, I'm in love with you."

(End of this chapter)