Self-control: How to take control of your time and life?

Chapter 30: Discover Your Life Mission (2)
Good at communicating for this purpose, strong performance and persuasiveness in this field.

Ideal is a long-distance race, but it does not necessarily bring success

Alexis's story is well known in California, and the YAM company he founded is a legendary event in the IT industry.Although only in existence for five years, he created a series of rules that have had a great impact on the industry, such as the "programmer authority" principle and the "office home" professional environment goal, which even influenced Google's Transformation of office environment.Importantly, when he closed the company to take a leadership role at NASA, none of the employees wanted to leave him.

They say: "Working with you is a joy, we can experience the feeling of embracing ideals." This is Alexis' greatest success, he knows very well what his work has to offer - what people like most is not Success, and more importantly, the process of striving for success.This is the sense of mission, the most direct expression of values ​​in the world.It is precisely as a feeling of our life that happiness is so aptly placed in a supreme position.Happiness is an ultimate purpose in life, it has nothing to do with success.People who feel happy in the process of pursuing their ideals will not be empty, confused, idle, and at a loss. They will be healthy, peaceful, optimistic, and open-minded. They often have charming smiles on their faces and are often shrouded in pleasant light.When you approach him, you will immediately feel a feeling: He is very happy, when will I be like him?
If a person has not experienced happiness in his life, his life must be incomplete and sad.So what if he succeeds?I have had many "career success" people in my courses who have achieved their career goals, but they have not experienced the bliss of being successful.Establishing a sense of mission in life is to improve one's participation in life rather than pursuing the final result too much.Just like a running race, without the participation of all the runners on the track, there would be no exciting race, let alone the birth of a champion.

What you need to understand now is: the pursuit of ideals is a long-distance race. You may not win, but you must persevere and feel happiness from it.Only then will you discover your calling.

Ma Yun of Alibaba said: "I always believe that no matter what you do, you should not be utilitarian. Doing things should not be too utilitarian. I don't have any utilitarianism. I just want to prove that our generation can do something through hard work. It’s a great thing. Talk about it. You have to be down-to-earth when you do it. In the end, you can prove that you are not a madman. Seven or eight years ago, everyone thought you were crazy. If you did it, no one would say it. I just did it 3 years earlier than others .Alibaba’s financing is to make a career. When looking for venture capital, you must share the risk with the venture capital, so that you are more likely to get investment.”

Ma Yun gives the impression that he is a madman and a lunatic, but he is not stupid.It is very important that when people are frantically pursuing the miracle of the Internet, he is not utilitarian, but very ordinary.At that time, many people were looking for investment everywhere, but what Jack Ma did was to study the development direction of Alibaba-more than 6 months of hard work day and night.When he started financing, it took only a few minutes to convince Son.

He regards starting a business and running a business as a long-distance race, not only to run fast, but also to run steadily.This is exactly the attitude towards life that entrepreneurs and even people in other fields must learn: no matter what you do, you must not be utilitarian and impatient, otherwise it will only destroy your "balance system" and make you lose your center of gravity, just like sports athletes.

It may not matter where your end point is, what is important is that you have a complete "blood supply" system and "hematopoiesis" function.The final winner must belong to the person with sufficient internal strength.They know what they want, and they always insist on going, enjoy the joy of the process, and try not to let themselves derail, this is the greatest success in life.

don't think too much, don't hesitate
Ball, director of EMC, shared his experience with the trainees in the course: "When I first stepped into this industry, my voice was often very low when I spoke, and sometimes I was nervous when I saw customers. I didn’t know what to say at the time. Can you imagine the scene at that time? A salesperson became dumb when facing customers! The boss almost lost confidence in me, but he finally decided to give me a chance and let me go to his Office, gave me 30 minutes: 'You only have half an hour to defend yourself, if I can't accept your reasons, you will be fired immediately!' I gave the answer in 10 seconds: 'Boss, I found I have too many ideas, and I like every method very much, so I always hesitate and don’t know how to speak.” The boss smiled immediately, and he told me: “You are an honest person, and at the same time, you are also an honest person. People with ideals, the problem is, you lack confidence in your own ideas, don’t you?” Then I tried to change myself to have stronger self-confidence to realize my ideas. I won the time and seized the opportunity .”

If you think too much, even if you are very smart, you will experience Pole's embarrassment.If you dare not act, if you are constantly afraid, you will always stop at that checkpoint.Although your ideal is enough to move people all over the world to tears, what's the use?You just have a false ideal, maybe you suffer from "false desire syndrome", and then other self-control problems will appear.

Each of us will encounter various difficulties, and then we have come up with many solutions, each of which is perfect - we are not lacking in creativity, the key is that you have to get over it and don't stay too much in thinking stage.

Diphne is dissatisfied with her body shape, she is a little fat.So, she wanted to lose weight in some ways.In September last year, she came to our course and shared her ideas with me, hoping that I would witness her weight loss process.

I said to her: "Your decision is very good, you make up your mind to do it!" "I just want to try it out. It's best if I can reduce it. If I can't reduce it, I will think of another way." Diphne replied.

I shook my head helplessly. Now that I have made a clear weight loss plan, why do I still hesitate and have other ideas?But I didn't expose her heart at this time, but observed her next behavior.

Diphne started her weight loss program.At first, she managed her weight by dieting and eating very few calories each day.I persisted in this way for a few days, and gave up this practice because I couldn't help the temptation of delicious food—although she firmly believed that this was an effective way during the dieting process, and turned to increase exercise to lose weight—published on the Internet There are many views on exercise to lose weight, and it can be seen that she quite agrees with it.She has since switched to drugs to lose weight — and has tweeted her thoughts, praising the approach.However, she still relapsed and stopped her decision to lose weight.

When I saw her again three months later, her weight hadn't changed at all.She cried to me: "It's too difficult to lose weight. How can I lose weight? How can I restore my devil figure?"

"Listen, beautiful lady, when you first started to lose weight, you were not firm, just holding the attitude of trying, how can you achieve obvious results in weight loss like this? You must first have a firm attitude, and really Do it with all your heart, do it with all your heart, and enjoy the process, instead of just holding the attitude of trying it out, this will make the weight loss plan meaningless, and you will keep indulging yourself, and you will not experience the joy of success and the achievement of weight loss feel."

"Maybe so." Diphne suddenly realized, "I really didn't make up my mind to do it, and I didn't try hard to do it. Please tell me how to persevere! I will really do it, and even I will do better than I expected! "

"Very well, I look forward to seeing you regain your perfect figure." Half a year later, when Diphne saw me again, I found that she had lost weight significantly.

In reality, some people often say that they try to do something like the original Diphne, such as exercising, losing weight, finding a job, studying, etc., but have you actually done it?Are you really trying?No, you have a playful attitude every time, instead of sinking your heart and acting with focus and a sense of mission.

"Trying to do it" is a kind of fluke mentality. If you want to achieve your goals, you must not hesitate. You must concentrate all your energy and devote yourself wholeheartedly to have a chance to achieve your goals.If you don't achieve your goals, then you have no one else to blame, and you have no excuses but yourself.Not working hard, not full of sense of mission in the process of doing things, even hesitation and repetition are common problems of most people.

You can design your life goals

There are many people who perform very well in a job. Once certain changes happen, such as economic downturn, business closure, or unemployment, it will be difficult for them to find another job with similar nature and corresponding salary. work.Such people often do not do a good job in the construction of life platforms, do not know how to strengthen their life missions, but prematurely tie their lives to a certain fixed job.When engaged in this work for a long time, they must be unconsciously thinking in their hearts:
"This job makes me feel comfortable." Or: "I am the most suitable for this job. It is best not to be unemployed for the rest of my life." A positive life is more like climbing steps than climbing bamboo poles. If you are unlucky, you will fall , the generous steps below will catch you.This is very important. If you fall to the bottom at once like slipping from a bamboo pole, this kind of life will really test the heart function too much.

At this time, I will give advice that is diametrically opposed to the above.Generally, I would suggest that you do work that gives full play to your strengths and delve deeper in a subdivided field.At this time, I would suggest that you start to try more and break the original positioning of your own advantages, so that you can enter a new realm.At this point, maybe you should consider taking on greater responsibility in your current job.If there is no opportunity within the company, you can consider switching to a better company in the same industry.

When designing your own life goals, it is necessary to learn to do the simplest addition and subtraction, so that you can effectively control your life.At different stages of your life, or in different postures, you may see a completely opposite world.

"Your future, are you at ease now?" Analyzing the footprints of successful people, it is not difficult for us to find that establishing a correct and feasible goal and working hard for the realization of this goal, as long as you are willing to endure hardship and work hard , plus a little luck, your wish will come true.

1. You have to choose your own direction clearly.Through the above self-analysis and understanding, we need to clarify what direction we should choose, that is, to solve the problem of "what do I choose to do", which is the core of personal planning.The direction directly determines a person's development, and the choice of direction should be determined according to one's own reality, that is, to choose the principle one loves.Only if you love it, can you devote yourself wholeheartedly and make some achievements.

2. The determination of life goals is a combination of personal idealization and operability.It refers to the longest long-term goal that is foreseeable and possible to achieve.According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, it is divided into physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs, which are in turn from low-level to high-level needs.There is no fixed formula for the choice of goals, the key is to be based on your own reality and suitable for your own development.It is worth noting that with the continuous progress of modern society, individuals must always pay attention to revising goals, try to make their choices adapt to the needs of society, keep up with the pace of development of the times, and adapt to social needs, so as not to be eliminated.

3. After the goal of life is determined, timely self-affirmation can bring you tangible progress.

After a clear understanding of the self, it is necessary to prescribe the right medicine.The important thing is that you have to know how to grasp and make up for your own disadvantages:

When the problem arises, what is its cause?Is it my own quality, interpersonal relationship, or my work itself?Understand this before moving on to the next step.

Analyze the possibility of self-correction and find the right means.At this time, you need to know how to change your life direction, is it learning, training or making a major change?

(End of this chapter)