Self-control: How to take control of your time and life?

Chapter 36 Appendix (4)
By analyzing and answering these questions, gradually realize the essence of the matter, understand the seriousness of the problem, and establish a direction for yourself.

4. Simplify complicated things. If the things in front of you are very complicated, and it is difficult to sort out and grasp them all at the moment, you need to simplify them—you can first assume that it is something you are familiar with, and then distinguish between them. Accidental or inevitable, what are the primary and secondary reasons, this will help solve the problem.

When something is bound to happen, there is no need for us to make a fuss, there is always an objective law in it.For example, when you lose your job during the economic crisis, the general environment determines how difficult it is to keep a job. This is a very objective reason.But some things that happen by accident require you to be very careful.For example, when the industry is booming, the boss calls you to the office and announces that you will not come to work tomorrow.You have to understand: "Why is the boss targeting me instead of other colleagues?" When you follow this principle to analyze things, it will help you to make a clear judgment, and you will understand many things that made you angry or even unclear. "emergencies" -- at this time you will know that they all have their own reasons, and you can see clearly what your responsibility is, and it's not that others deliberately make life difficult for you.

Insight into one's own (and others') true purpose

Only when you have an insight into the real purpose of doing something by yourself or the other party, can you take effective countermeasures.In real life, things often have many false appearances, but this is not terrible. What is terrible is that we cannot see through the false appearances and are even led by the nose by superficial phenomena-just like our frequent mistakes in judgment.

Only after serious analysis and research can we make correct judgments, take correct measures, and then grasp the initiative of things, just like a driver firmly holds the steering wheel and becomes the master of things instead of slaves.

1. Argument from the front.You can first assume that the purpose of a thing is correct and positive, find sufficient reasons or basis for it, and then see if it is true.

2. Prove from the negative side.You can assume that the purpose and result of this matter will be unfavorable to you, look for all reasons from the negative side, and analyze the reasons comprehensively to see if your assumption is true.

3. Analyze from side and third-party perspectives.Jumping out of the matter, assuming that it has no interest in you, and analyzing it from an objective perspective can often help us discover the most hidden truths.

4. Train yourself to look directly into the other person's eyes when talking, which will help you face things bravely and eliminate avoidance and cowardice.

Looking at the process of how things are formed

Everything has cause and effect, and there will be a logical development process.Therefore, you must not only learn to be "good at understanding", but more importantly, learn to understand in an all-round way, carefully observe and study the formation process of things carefully, and cultivate your own macro vision, which will help you to understand one thing or one. make accurate judgments about the situation.

1. Find and analyze the internal factors of the formation of things.

2. Find out the external factors of "why it happened".The internal cause is the basis of change, the external cause is the condition of change, and the internal cause must be changed through the external cause.This is a dialectical foundation that needs to be upheld forever.If you can always find out the external cause, it is not difficult to analyze and judge its internal cause.

3. Don't "use points instead of faces" when analyzing things, and be fascinated by partial gains and losses.

4. Don't be deceived by short-term interests because of small losses, otherwise it is easy to make wrong judgments on the whole.

The authenticity of the matter must be verified

Many things are very complex and changeable, which makes it difficult for people to see its true face at a glance.For example, investment, stock trading, love life, relationship with colleagues, etc., the truth is often hidden deeply.At this time, don't be confused by the surface of things, but be calm and calm, first maintain a calm attitude, and then analyze slowly, and don't rush to make judgments and choices.

You have to analyze which ones are reliable and which ones are false, and then conduct a careful and careful investigation, keep a certain distance, and then grasp the key points, dig out the "truth" layer by layer, and make yourself a "sensible person".Only when you discover the truth and gain insight into its essence, can you finally make an accurate judgment.

The first principle: hearing is believing, seeing is believing, don't believe your ears.The second principle: Don't trust your eyes too much, sometimes what you see and hear with your "heart" is the most reliable.The third principle: see the essence through the phenomenon.Ignore the gorgeous appearance, look directly at the inside, and explore the inside through the superficial things (these are often artificially designed to deceive you), so that you can strip off the disguise of things (people) and get closer to the truth .

The fourth principle: don't be easily persuaded, and be careful of the temptation of sweet words and short-term interests.

Analyze the development trend of things with a long-term perspective
What is the trend?It's the way things are going.Everything is not static, but develops rapidly, with its own laws and directions.For example, stocks, people's hearts, a large industry, or even a small business, all have their future trends in it.Only by constantly analyzing its development trend, jumping out from today and focusing on the future, can you change your thinking correctly as things change, so as to make timely and accurate judgments.

To do this, you must have an accurate judgment on the development prospects of things, you must understand the actual environment and development trends of things, and then put them into action.The same is true for people.During training, it is very necessary for us to carry out targeted analysis of real-life personal connections (you can make a personal connection resource table), list the different relationships between people and you, the background of the relationship, and future prospects, and then Analyze and judge their importance to you (the key is your value to them), and then you can clearly see your own position and adopt corresponding strategies.

1. Consider whether things (people) have the potential to appreciate.

2. If you are engaged in a business, analyze whether it is a sunrise industry and whether it has development potential in the future, and then judge whether it is worth doing.

3. See if the market (the counterparty) really has demand.

4. See how big the final value (in the next five years) will be.

Carry out careful comparison, research, and draw objective conclusions
Only by careful comparison can you identify the pros and cons of people or things, and provide you with a correct reference when choosing your target.The Chinese have a good saying: "Don't be afraid of not knowing the goods, but be afraid of comparing goods." Only a person who is good at comparison can keenly capture the "lifeblood" of things, make your own excellent judgment, and choose a good one for yourself. The road to success and safety.

This is also the difference between the wise and the mediocre in real life, the difference between the strong and the weak in self-control.Mediocre people with poor self-control often aimlessly in front of things (people), do nothing, and finally waste their time; the former can continue to explore, stay firmly on the right track and rarely make mistakes.

1. Compare quality (value).

2. Compare prices (costs).

3. Compare appearance (image).

4. Identify whether it (thing or person) can lead the trend (development prospects) for a period of time.

Must judge the feasibility of things

Feasibility analysis is essential before the implementation of any plan, and it is almost the most important basis for decision makers to make decisions.Regrettably, people often only focus on the goal in real life, but do not make a plan or do a feasibility analysis, and walk into a dead end in the process of hard work, which leads to loss of control.

If the problems you encounter in life are complex and difficult, you have to analyze the problems in detail: "Can I make it?" "What problems do I need to solve in order to successfully implement the plan?" Then find out one by one. The solution, and then break down the problems one by one.

The important thing is that if you can't solve some problems at all, it is better to give up (in the self-control course, the cultivation of "giving up" mentality runs through the whole process, which is an indispensable healthy mentality for a person with good self-control ability).The process of feasibility analysis is not only a psychological process that breeds self-confidence, but also a pragmatic and practical process.From a psychological point of view, we must mobilize our inner positive thinking to analyze problems, and at the same time maintain a calm and rational situation to ensure that we will not make impulsive mistakes.

1. When starting a business, it is necessary to allow yourself to establish the most suitable goal or project before starting.

2. Invite experts in this field to become assistants in the struggle for this goal, let them participate in it extensively, and listen to their opinions.

3. Be realistic when doing feasibility analysis.This is the only thing that cannot be falsified.

4. Don't let your feelings influence the final judgment, and don't let your feelings hijack the process of feasibility analysis, so as to avoid serious mistakes in judgment.

Let yourself develop the good habit of "looking at problems comprehensively"

This is the last step and the most important step in training for this session.It is of course difficult to allow oneself to look at and analyze problems in an all-round way. Only those excellent people have this quality.But I can tell you that with serious self-criticism and serious training and promotion, anyone can do it.You may not be able to show your skills in a big cause and let people see your comprehensive vision and macro thinking, but you can become the master of seemingly insignificant things, and finally control your own destiny through reasonable control of small things .

Everything in the world does not exist in isolation, they are inextricably linked with each other.Just remember this sentence. Only by comprehensively analyzing things, taking into account all related factors, and then analyzing, examining, comparing and making judgments in detail, can you make the essence of things clearly for you. presented.

The process of comprehensively analyzing things is actually positioning in combination with our goals.You can't overestimate yourself, and avoid underestimating yourself.Therefore, after this stage of improvement, when you make a goal, you will not set it too big (it will not be achieved in the end), nor will you set it too small (because it is too easy and you will lack passion).

A simple judgment test paper This is a judgment test paper, provided by our self-control training center, it is often used to test your judgment ability in life and find out what needs to be improved.When using this test, be sure to choose the answer according to your actual situation—not the best situation you think, and then add up the scores of each item, and you will get a reference score later, which represents you judgment in these respects.

1. Would you like someone you didn't like at first?

(1) sometimes
(2) often
(3) never
2. If you have spoken to, or heard discussions about, a person, can you determine that the person has the following characteristics (you must answer yes or no to each option):

(1) tidy

(2) Smart

(3) honesty

(4) Humor

(5) Attractive
3. When you meet someone for the first time, what is the first thing you notice about that person?
(1) sound

(2) Eyes

(3) Facial expression

(4) Dressing and hairstyle

4. When you choose a gift for a friend, you:
(1) Buy your own favorite gifts
(2) Buy gifts that you may not like, but your friends like
(3) Gifts that both buyers and sellers like
5. Do you agree with the following statement? (Only answer "yes" or "no") (1) Untidy clothing means lack of order in thinking
(2) People with wandering eyes cannot be trusted
(3) You can judge a person's taste from the aspect of dressing

6. Do you think your partner still has the character when you first met?

(1) Yes, nothing has changed at all

(2) No, but all of them are changing

(3) No, and if I had known this, I would not have fallen in love with him (her). 7. If your former classmate is now very famous, what would you do?
(1) Be sure to let everyone you know know about it
(2) It's no big deal, and I won't deliberately think about or mention it
(3) Trying to have a friendship with him

8. How would you feel if your best friend admired someone so much?
(1) Some defensiveness

(2) Eagerly looking forward to meeting him

(3) Hold back and wait until you meet to make a judgment

9. Have you ever met someone you really like?
(1) Absolutely not

(2) sometimes
(3) often have
10. When you meet someone new, what do you do?

(1) Generally associated with being rejected

(2) First of all, I want to judge what they will say

(3) Immediately compare them to yourself

11. When you read a novel, do you?

(1) Willing to read novels whose views are the same as yours
(2) Willing to read novels whose views are different from yours
(3) Like to read books that are more plot-oriented than thought-oriented

12. How do you feel when someone close to you reacts differently to something than you do?
(1) This is natural because you are not alone
(2) Upset, confused and incomprehensible
(3) Believe that your response must be correct
13. If you were in a relationship with someone that other people thought was inappropriate, would you?
(1) Make it clear to someone that he or she is a wonderful person

(2) Stick to your own choice and don't care about other people's evaluation

(3) Break up with people who criticize you

14. What are your friends' living habits like?
(1) Similar to your living habits and personality
(2) Diversification
(3) Most of them are similar to you, but there are also a few who are different
Scoring criteria:

1.（1）5；（2）3；（3）1
2. Affirm and deny
(1) 30
(2) 01
(3) 01
(End of this chapter)