I dare to be alone in your arms

Chapter 5 Please Don't Go Out of Body by My Side X Lu Guangzhong

now i'm a morning person

The average person's impression of the film and drama industry should be a group of people who stay up late at night, whether they are fooling around or working hard, in short, they are not reconciled to not being disturbed every day to the point where they see nothing in the sky.

Maybe you don't believe it, but now I am a person who is used to getting up early.When I was young, I was also a night owl, and I never stayed up until the wee hours of the morning.As a production assistant in a record company, it was common for my attendants to record until two or three o'clock in the middle of the night. In those days, after recording, as an assistant, I had to convert the music on the master tape into cassettes one by one, and then send them to Home for the next stage of work.When I often go home, I can already catch the first bus.It was dawn at that time, and it was time to say good night.

In this way, from a production assistant to an actor, he embarked on a singer career all the way, and lived a dark night cat life until 2002, when he started to act in "Legend of Eileen Chang", it lasted five months to cooperate with the crew, go to bed early and get up early, maybe Just because of my age, I thought it was pretty good, so I continued my early life.Waking up early is actually the same as going to bed late. In the early morning, most people will not come to you regardless of business or private matters. I can have a relatively long time alone, so I can do more "business".It was dawn at this time, and it was time to say good morning.

Once chatting with my producer Zhong Chenghu, he said that most singers like to record at night, but I am different and prefer the afternoon.Later, I talked to my younger brother Fei Yuqing, and I heard that he started recording at nine o'clock in the morning and finished work at twelve noon.Xiaohu jokingly asked me if I wanted to try it?I took it seriously, recorded a morning session, and finished work before twelve o'clock. Teacher Xiaohu treated me to a great lunch.

When it comes to getting up early, I think of Lu Guangzhong. We all know that his songs are inseparable from getting up early. I made an appointment with him at 11:30 in the morning, which should not be too early for him.I just didn't expect that our topic would start from "The Yellow Emperor's Canon of Internal Medicine"...

"Huangdi Neijing" is simply Guangzhong's life guide

We met at a shop called "Mushroom" on Chifeng Street. During the interview, Guangzhong kept looking at his watch. I thought he had an announcement later, and I was nervous about time. I didn't expect him to say: "The "Huangdi Neijing" says that at noon From eleven o'clock to one o'clock, Qi and blood go the fastest, it is recommended to stay indoors as much as possible, it is best to sleep, it is better for the heart..."

Guangzhong got up at about five or six o'clock and went to bed at 10:30 in the evening. Such a young child went to bed early and woke up early because of the "Huangdi Neijing"?No matter how I look at him, he doesn't look like a person who takes the route of health preservation. "I go to bed early not because of health preservation, but because I am bored at night, not to mention, I am more efficient in doing things in the morning."

This does not coincide with me.My current habit of waking up is five or six o'clock. After waking up, I will lie in bed for half an hour, browse Weibo, Facebook, and emails before I formally get up and have breakfast.The staff around me are all late sleepers. They will send letters or messages at two or three o'clock in the morning. I will reply to them after reading it in the morning, so that they can deal with things directly after waking up.I have been working like this for a long time, and I think it is quite good. It is different from other people's work and rest time, but there is no conflict.

In the morning of Guangzhong, besides exercising and eating breakfast, he said that he finally bought a TV recently, so he had an extra schedule of "watching TV" in the morning.I was curious about what he was watching. In addition to Morgan Freeman's show about the universe on the Discovery Channel, he also followed Korean dramas for a while in order not to deviate from the trend. "I didn't expect it to be quite good."

Apart from getting up at about the same time, Guangzhong and I also have a common concept - breakfast is very important!We could all eat a cow!Waking up early can make the day longer. I wake up early, sometimes even for breakfast, and then if I can go back to sleep happily, it will be a good thing.Sometimes I also meet people in the morning (although there are very few people who can cooperate), and we have brunch and talk about things energetically.There are so many benefits to getting up early.

Guangzhong said that he would stay until after eleven o'clock, take a nap, and go out for lunch after one o'clock. "This is not only in line with what is said in the "Huangdi Neijing", but also does not need to be crowded with office workers to eat Chinese food at peak hours."

"Huangdi Neijing" is simply Lu Guangzhong's life guide!

The regular cycle of solitude

Being alone is a state.

Guangzhong said that the first time he felt alone consciously was when he was in the fourth grade of elementary school.His hometown is in a small village with a small population. Opposite is a temple. There is a large paddy field behind the temple. The sun is hot at noon, and the farmers all go home to take a nap. The young Guangzhong squats behind the temple. Facing a large paddy field, the world in front of him is only cows with wagging tails and him, which makes him feel very at ease unexpectedly.

"When I was a child, I couldn't describe the feeling of being alone. Later, I realized that only when there are no human beings around, can I feel at ease. So when I came to study in Taipei from Tainan, I seldom had such a pure sense of freedom. Maybe Consciously know that there are other people outside my room all the time."

The current Guangzhong seems to be trying his best to restore the freedom of the fourth grade of elementary school.He doesn't have many friends, and few people will come to his residence.When there is no work, he concentrates on doing his own things in the morning, and when he is more irritable in the afternoon, he uses it to face the outside world, such as having dinner with friends and meeting. He feels that "it is not suitable to get along with people after the sun goes down", so he spends the night before going to bed During this time, calm down and return to solitude.

This seems to form a balance when we have to contact the world.

I asked him what kind of music he listened to when he was alone, and he said that if he wanted to list them accurately, there were two, one was Solo Monk by Thelonious Monk (Thelonious Monk), and the other was Joe Pass ( Song for Ellen by Joe Pass).The former is a guitarist, the latter is a pianist, and both are jazz masters. These two albums are just pure guitar and piano, because when listening to an instrumental album, it seems that someone is concentrating on using an instrument to tell you a story. thing.This one-to-one relationship is more like the way I get along with my friends.

Although we are alone physically, we still cannot avoid being together mentally.For example, he said that when he was creating in his student days, he often chatted with his classmates on MSN, and when some notes came out of a certain sentence, he stopped chatting, picked up the guitar and finished writing. MSN is one of the few tools that I think can allow people to have a deep connection with others when they are alone. It seems that the little green man who is spinning around can really make you feel that you are not alone.In the era of MSN, we can drink and chat all night with text, and lie on the couch until dawn when we are drunk. The content of MSN at that time was relatively deep, watching the flashing green light, waiting for the text to appear, even guessing and imagining the other party's state from the other party's nickname and reaction time, but still retaining oneself.More romantic than any form of communication today.

Guangzhong said that even though LINE is installed because of work needs, he still insists on turning it off so that he will not be disturbed by messages from time to time.Look at your phone when you want to, and keep your own control over receiving messages.

"We often forget that we are human beings, not receivers of information." The Internet, Facebook, and the media never have enough time to receive information, and it feels very lively. "When I find that I am lonely, it is a very good feeling state, loneliness can make you stronger." Guang Zhong said.Just because the connections between people are too diverse and frequent, being alone has become precious, and it has become a kind of peace that we must always search for consciously.

The only thing that can keep Guang Zhong from being alone is his family.Although he doesn't like to be in crowds, being with his family is the only exception. "After leaving my hometown in Tainan, my sister used my room. Now I live in the living room when I go home. Although I don't have my own room, I am at home. I am still very comfortable." I heard that he spent eleven days walking from Taipei back to his hometown in Tainan. On the one hand, I admire his perseverance, physical strength, and the madness in his blood; on the other hand, it can be confirmed again " For Guangzhong, "home" is the center of the universe, which will eventually return and is extremely important.

run away to come back
"Do you like to travel?" I asked Guang Zhong. "Every time I go to play far away, it's like trying to prove that I like being at home right."

Yes, I left to come back.Whenever they are unhappy or want to change their current living conditions, many people will think: "Let's go for a walk." It seems that after going out for a walk and coming back, the problem will be solved.In fact, the problem has not changed, what has changed is the people.

For me, this is actually very similar to a funeral. The various ceremonies in the first seven to seven to 49 days are a survival guide for the overwhelmed living. Then, I gradually got used to a new fact.The same is true for travel, from finding a hotel before departure, booking an air ticket, arranging an itinerary, to walking, sitting and lying in a strange place every day, it also takes you out of your original state.Slowly, the problems stuck in my mind became less important.

I think many people, like me and Guangzhong, have experienced the process from living in school, leaving home to living alone, and starting to live alone.Guangzhong said that after he started living alone, some friends advised him to keep dogs and cats. He felt that pets would be a hindrance, and finally decided to keep plants. Will those plants wither and die? The plants that I thought I would least care about have become a bondage.

In the past, where I lived alone, there were no other living things. Of course I couldn’t keep dogs and cats. My job is very flexible, and I may be away from home for ten days and a half months at any time.Some friends say you keep a goldfish. I don't like it, but I never thought about owning it. It seems that owning it becomes a burden.To have it is to be prepared to lose it.

alone and lonely

Living alone is a kind of loneliness, but solitude and loneliness are not the same.Loneliness is a state, and loneliness is a negative emotion.

I remember filming "Nanjing 1994" in Nanjing in 1937. On December 12th, it was cold and twenty degrees below zero. The scene of being raped by the Japanese army was filmed that day. bruised everywhere.The badge on the military uniform of the rival actor accidentally scratched my body several times, but because of the cold weather, I didn’t feel any pain. When I returned to the hotel after the show, I wanted to take a hot bath. When I got into the bathtub, I felt pain. They all rushed up at once, and couldn't help screaming.That's when the phone rang, "Merry Christmas!" In the background was loud and joyous frolic, and my friends said they were at a party. "I'm laying in the bathtub," I said.

At that moment, I was a little lonely.

Guangzhong said that he also had a similar experience. When he was in college, he celebrated the Mid-Autumn Festival in Taipei for the first time. He didn’t go home to celebrate the festival in order to save money on the car, but it happened to be his mother’s birthday on that day. He was alone in the dormitory, lonely. The feeling came up.The next day, he immediately packed his luggage and went home to see his mother.

It is a state of "you think you should have it but you don't have it". I lived on campus before, and everyone went back for the holidays. You are the only one in the whole dormitory. There were originally many people, but now you are the only one left. Human beings are very different from the original space where only you are alone.

Fortunately, people who are good at being alone will not feel lonely easily. There are actually many things to do and be busy between themselves and themselves, and they don't need to rely on others to know their status.

It is definitely a kind of happiness to be able to be at ease in solitude.

People are better than food

Later we chatted about the multiple-choice question "What do you eat today?"I believe that many people are the same. They encounter this question at least two or three times a day. Others ask you, and you ask others.

Guangzhong is born thin, and I was born fat. His appetite is not good, but I have a super strong appetite. He has a 97-year-old grandmother who taught him that he only needs to eat six times full every day. Eating less makes him very energetic.But it's funny, we're all the ones who can eat the same thing over and over again when we're alone.When filming, the crew usually ask the actors, do you have anything special to eat today?I said no, every meal is exactly the same egg fried rice with boiled vegetables, I will bring my own chili sauce and eat it, and I don’t feel like I’m done with it for a month.

"I feel very happy when I eat plain rice. I have difficulty choosing. It is very painful for me to constantly decide what to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. For example, when I was in college, I often ate preserved egg tofu, bonito, and a lot of green onions. It can be eaten with soy sauce every day.” Guangzhong said, except for the year when he was in the army, because he didn’t have to work and didn’t have a lot to think about, he seriously ate some things that were impossible to eat before. Into my taste memory."

"What do you want to eat today?" Is it because people need it especially when they are bored?For example, during my pregnancy, I was not allowed to do this or that, so I had to choose to eat when I was free.This is very similar to Guangzhong's experience of eating as a soldier.

"Getting happiness from eating is a bit like you spend money to go to an amusement park. You are happy when you ride a roller coaster, and you are happy when you ride a pirate ship, but I think as humans, we should be better, at least than food. Awesome. If we want to get happiness from the amusement park, we can build an imaginary amusement park in our bodies, and record the taste after eating something, and when we see such things in the future, we can immediately relive that taste, just like No need to order it anymore because I already know what it's like to eat."

Ugh, that's a great way to lose weight...but I can't do it!

learn to see yourself smaller

The media described Guangzhong as a "harmless person". He said that he can be friends with everyone, but it is difficult to be close friends. It's not that he doesn't want to, but he thinks that a person's time is limited and the length of life is fixed. Yes, it is difficult to have many friends.

The most comfortable state for him to be with his friends is to sit on both ends of the big sofa, each reading a book and not talking. If he suddenly thinks of a topic, for example, "Hey, what do you think the sun means to us?" After answering, they continued to return to their original states without incident.

He said that reading Hawking's book can make us realize our insignificance again.People will habitually inflate themselves. When they are in pain, everything in their eyes is painful, and they inflate themselves into the whole world. "I think that when you are in pain, you should see yourself smaller."

"The last time I was happy was when I went to the supermarket and bought a bottle of laundry detergent that said it was made with citrus ingredients, and when I bought it, I thought, 'Is it true that the clothes smell after washing? Citrus scent, right?' Later, after washing the clothes, I deliberately smelled it, um, it really does, and I feel a sense of happiness right now."

"Would you be offended if it didn't work out?" I asked him. "No, because we see most things like that." It seemed like a natural excuse. "Because I like that the world is creditable. It's like Newton's law of conservation of energy. You move something heavy from the first floor to the third floor. When you throw it back from the third floor to the first floor, the force will return. From the point of view of physics, it is like this, but from the point of view of Buddhism, it is cause and effect.”

I didn't know before that this boy who liked watching Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" and "The Grand Design" was far more interested in the universe than people. I thought he was just purely withdrawn.But in fact, he has a set of philosophies about his own life state.

On the day we met, it was early winter, just after it rained, and it was very comfortable to breathe in the comfortable sunshine.It's like looking at him across the table, sitting upright with his feet on the ground, but I can feel his heart soaring.What a special person, trying to build his own world, yet able to smile at everything but him.

Milk Tea: What movie to watch alone?
Lu: I would choose "Forrest Gump". I think the great thing about the movie is that you can watch a person's life in two hours.I will think that if I am a movie, there are only two hours, and your life should be wonderful in these two hours.

Milk Tea: You can't stand what others do to you?

Lu: The soul is out of the body.It's just that some people talk to him, but his soul is not here.But I won't blame him, so that he can do other more meaningful things without forcing his body to stay with me.

Milk tea: I hate the sentence I heard when I was in love: "I am not by your side, but my heart is with you." There are many sweet words in the world that cannot be studied!

Lu: Isn’t this just watching Luoyin?

Who can accompany me in my childhood dream?
Who can accompany me to do childish things?

Who can accompany me on a swing and think that I can fly into the sky?

(End of this chapter)