A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 17 2 The role model of a "salary" father: the father of the football king Pele

Operability: ★★★ Difficulty factor: ★★★★ Keywords: self-control
Some fathers said: I really want to take good care of my children, but I don't have enough time and energy; I want to send them to noble schools, but the funds are a bit tight.Is there an educational method that saves money and trouble?There are indeed, but the degree of difficulty is relatively high, and it is necessary for the father to say the right words at the right time and on the right occasion.

Pele, the football king, showed extraordinary football talent since he was a child. He often kicked a "football" specially made for him by his father - a large sock stuffed with rags and old newspapers, and then squeezed into a ball shape as much as possible, and then tied tightly with rope .Bailey often bares his black and thin back, practicing ball with bare feet in the potholed side street in front of his house.Although he often fell to pieces, he kept sprinting towards the imaginary goal.

Gradually, Bailey became famous, and many people who knew him often greeted him and handed him cigarettes.Like all minors, Bailey loved the "grown up" feeling of smoking.

Once, when Bailey was asking someone for a cigarette in the street, Dad happened to walk by him.Dad's face was ugly, and Bailey lowered his head, not daring to look into his father's eyes.It wasn't because of the fierce look on his father's face, but because he saw a kind of sadness, despair, and anger in his father's eyes.

"I saw you smoking."

Bailey didn't dare to answer and didn't say a word.

Dad said again: "Did I read it wrong?"

Bailey stared at Dad's toes and whispered, "No, you didn't."

Dad asked again: "How long have you been smoking?"

Bailey defended himself softly: "I've only smoked a few times, a few days ago..."

Dad interrupted him and said, "Tell me if it tastes good? I've never smoked a cigarette, so I don't know what it tastes like." Bailey said, "I don't know, it's not really good." All of a sudden, his muscles tensed up, and he involuntarily covered his face with his hands, because he saw his father standing in front of him suddenly raised his hands.However, it was not the slap Bailey had expected, and his father held him in his arms.

Dad said: "You have a bit of talent in football and maybe you will be a good athlete, but if you smoke and drink, that's the end of it. Because you won't be able to maintain a high level for 90 minutes. This It's up to you to decide."

As Dad said, he opened his shriveled wallet, and there were only a few crumpled banknotes in it.He said to his son: "If you really want to smoke, it's better to buy it yourself. You always ask others. It's too shameful. How much do you need to buy cigarettes?"

Bailey felt ashamed and ashamed, his eyes were watery, but when he looked up, he saw tears on his father's face... Later, Bailey never smoked again.He put all his energy into playing football, often practiced with his father, and finally became a generation of football kings.

Gorky said: "Even a little restraint on oneself can make a person strong." If a person wants to become a strong man who can control his own destiny and achieve a career, he must have some confidence in himself. Constrained, restrained.Therefore, self-control education for children is one of the essential contents of family education.

We all know that following one's inclinations and emotions will not achieve great things. Only by restraining our own words and deeds can we clear the way for our own success.The black young dragon couple in a new book "Slow Raising" that has received wide attention recently are the most typical parents who can control themselves. There are many stories in it, which are worth reading for all fathers.

Fortunately, self-control and self-management abilities are not innate, and acquired training is key.But self-control requires tenacious perseverance. Like Bailey's father, giving children trust and sincere care can provide motivation and let children know when they are lost.In daily life, you can do the following things to help your child improve self-control:

1. Specific analysis of specific issues.

Help the child find out where he has no self-control, such as watching TV, playing games, spending money, etc. Don't always say that he has no self-control without giving specific examples.After locking a certain point that cannot be self-controlled, the father and the child should work out the target steps for cultivating self-control: every night from [-]:[-] to [-]:[-] is the time to watch TV and play games, how much pocket money is fixed every month, Then, beyond this time and amount, resolutely supervise the child's implementation, and do not allow words to be counted.However, this is using external regulations to regulate children, which has not yet reached the realm of the father of the tennis net, and can only objectively achieve the effect of self-government.

2. Let the little things "worse" first.

If one day, you find that your child doesn't get up on time in the morning, don't remind him first.Let him accept criticism and embarrassment from the teacher for being late.If he forgets to do his homework, don't remind him.When he comes home and talks about being criticized, you gently give a suggestion: in the future, you must set the alarm clock yourself, and you must complete your homework before playing.When the child is likely to do something wrong, the father might as well stand by and watch, and when he finds out that he has made trouble or done something wrong, he will educate himself. At this time, the father only needs to give one suggestion to lead the child on the right path.

3. Generous trust, let him have pressure.

Everyone's self-consciousness is actually the same, and it all comes from a person's shame.If you feel ashamed that you have done something bad, you will avoid doing it.The more praised and trusted by others, the more they will feel that they are not doing well enough, so the children will cherish their reputation more and will not do what they should not do.For example, when a child says to you: "My classmates all copied their homework", you say: "You do your homework very seriously every day, and you will definitely not do such things to deceive yourself." With the trust and encouragement from him, he will become conscious. This is the real self-control.

4. Introspect with your child.

Sometimes we ask our children not to watch TV, but we can't help but stop watching TV.Doing so will only make the child feel dissatisfied.Dads should reflect on themselves with their children to see if they are not doing well in self-control, such as smoking, drinking, playing cards, etc. All of these can be quit under the supervision of the children. This education method is the most powerful.A self-controlled father can naturally tell his children how to control themselves subtly.

The above are some conceptual changes, which must be implemented in action in the end.Although this process is long, once the child controls himself, you will be at ease.

(End of this chapter)