A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 56 5 Things must be reversed in extremes, criticism and praise cannot be too much
After drinking the milk in the morning, Xiao Le threw the empty milk box in his hand to play, but accidentally threw the empty milk box out of the window, and happened to hit an aunt downstairs.

"Who is so unqualified, throwing things around, yo, there is milk in it! It's dirty..."

Xiao Le suddenly realized that he had caused trouble, and squatted by the window, not daring to make a sound.The father on the side thought this was a good educational opportunity, and immediately reprimanded the child: "Do you know the serious consequences of this behavior?"

"Dad, I was wrong, I will never throw things downstairs again!" Tears were already rolling in Xiao Le's eyes.

"Fortunately, what you threw was a cardboard box. What if it was an iron box or bricks? Why don't you smash people's heads? What if someone is killed? Everyone throws things downstairs. Can people live in this community?" ?”

"Dad, I didn't mean to, I was..."

"When adults talk, where do you have so many excuses? It's becoming more and more unruly."

"You made a mistake yourself, you didn't know how to apologize, but you hid here, how do I usually educate you?"

……

Dad questioned and reprimanded him again and again, starting from cartons to iron boxes to bricks to human life. He said a lot, and the more he said, the more serious and mysterious he seemed. He still wanted to continue to "exert", but at this , the child became deaf and indifferent.

Many parents are good at this kind of ability to make use of problems.I always feel that it is rare to have an educational opportunity, and I must write a special article.Of course, in addition to this extremely critical father, there is also another type of father:
"Oh, your handwriting is getting better and better, almost surpassing mine!" In fact, the child's handwriting is barely recognizable, but in order to give the child confidence, the father had no choice but to speak against his conscience. "Our children, nothing else, are obedient and sensible. Ordinary children can't do things at home, but this one from my family will help his mother do it and that as soon as he comes back. We don't need to remind him at all. Relatives say, never I have never seen such a sensible child with such a good academic performance, I am really lucky..." When the father kept praising the child in front of the guests, I am afraid that not only the guests felt numb, but the child followed suit. There is no feeling of pride anymore, and there are too many praises, which is also disgusting!
Physiologically, when the human body receives a certain stimulus too much, too strong or for too long, people will mobilize the instinct of "self-protection" and have a natural tendency to escape.This phenomenon is called "over-limit effect".

"Over-limit effect" often occurs in family education.For example, when a child fails an exam, the parents will repeat the same criticism once, twice, three times, or even four times, five times, making the child feel guilty and restless to impatient and finally resentful.If you are "pushed into a hurry", you will have the rebellious mentality of "I will do it again next time, so I won't learn!"

In fact, the parents' intentions are good, and they want to emphasize this problem so that the child will remember it deeply and will not repeat the same mistake next time.Or you want to increase his self-confidence by repeatedly emphasizing that you appreciate your child.But everything has a limit. Parents' endless preaching and praise eventually lead to the "over-limit effect" in children. Not only are they indifferent, but they are extremely disgusted.

When praising, you must be good at grasping the child's "sparkling point" and capturing every step of the child's progress in time.But too frequent praise is almost "cheap", and praise should be enough.When criticizing, we must pay more attention to art.Remember: "A child can only be criticized once when he makes a mistake." If he makes the same mistake again, he can be criticized from a different angle.For example, if your child does his homework after school and doesn't put the books in his schoolbag every time he finishes writing, you can criticize him.But when he promises to do it but fails to do it, you can think of ways with him, such as suggesting that he remember this thing to do every day on the "Notepad".

Back to the matter of throwing things, my father didn't need to say anything at all, he stood up and said to the aunt downstairs: "I'm really sorry, I didn't pay attention with my hand, I hit you, please forgive me, I didn't mean it. "I believe that the neighbors will not make things difficult for you, and also set a good example for the child, and let him thank you for taking the blame for yourself. This is the real education.

(End of this chapter)