A good dad is better than a rich dad

Chapter 60 9 Numbness is an automatic protection for petting
A report in "Xinhua Daily Telegraph" "Why didn't my son learn conscience in college" has attracted widespread attention, and the excerpts are as follows:

"I am a 63-year-old farmer. I am writing to you today to talk about my family affairs. Although the family ugliness should not be publicized, these things have been kept in my heart for a long time, and I always feel pain in my heart recently.

"My son is a college student and the only college student in the five generations of our family. This is the pride of my old couple! But we are also heartbroken because of this unsatisfactory thing.

"I remember when my son was just admitted to college, I went to school to see him off. After getting off the train, I walked in front with my heavy luggage, and my son followed. When I arrived at the school gate, I tripped over an iron bar in front of the gate. I fell down. I fell hard on the ground. My son looked around, pulled my arm hard and said, 'What are you doing, don't lose face!' Even though my legs hurt from the fall, I was still hurting. Get up quickly and continue walking with your luggage on your back.

"In the first semester, my son called 3 times, asking for money each time. My wife and I planted 3 acres of land, and when I found time, I went to the brick factory in the village to do hard work. At first people said I was old and refused to accept it. I almost knelt down to others, and they let me do it because of their pity. The little girl is 16 years old. After graduating from junior high school, she couldn’t afford to go to school and worked as a nanny for others. After the money she earned was handed over to me, all of it was sent to my son. There was even a time when my wife's eyes were so red and swollen that I was reluctant to spend money on a bottle of eye drops!

"In order to earn more money, my wife found a childcare job in the village. I only earn 5 yuan a day to hold the child, day and night. Last winter, my son called very frequently. I asked for money every time. I sent more than 4 yuan for 6000 times. I didn’t know that I need so much money to go to school. Later I heard a young man who went to work in the village come back and said that he saw my son and was in love. Very chic. But the most irritating thing is that when my son came back this year, he actually falsely reported tuition fees. Now that several months have passed, I feel heartbroken when I think about it. I don’t understand why my son has become like this. In addition to learning culture, can we also learn to have a conscience?"

To answer the father's doubts, it is necessary to solve a psychological knowledge.Psychologist Homans once put forward such a point of view: the essence of communication between people is actually a kind of social exchange.The principle of this kind of exchange is the same as that of commodity exchange, that is, people hope to get no less than what they pay in the exchange.But if you get more than you give, it will also make people lose their psychological balance and feel that there is no way to repay, so they choose to escape or become numb.

The son in the case chose the second option. He took the contribution of his parents for granted, and he would be very dissatisfied if his requirements were not met.

And unconditionally expressing one's love to children, giving silently, and even concealing one's illness and difficulties just to make children "peace of mind", this is the most common choice of our Chinese parents.Especially for fathers, there are not many opportunities to get in touch with children. When you are busy working outside, he plays games at home, and you work hard to support your family. In the end, he is likely to question you: "When I need you Where!"

When educating children, fathers had better not give them excessive love.Doting and pampering will only make him lose the ability to taste love.Let the child understand what you have done for him, that clean clothes, delicious food, and a comfortable environment cannot be taken for granted.But how to tell is also a problem that needs attention.

Dads don't say "I'm for you..." to their children, this is the roughest expression.You can also let your child find a part-time job outside, sell newspapers, let him suffer and suffer a little bit outside, and you will naturally think of how tolerant and generous your family is to him.

(End of this chapter)