Practice being alone: ​​when I started to love myself

Chapter 10 Be quiet, my heart (4)
This is the kind of touching power in Cornell Woolrich's work, complex but simple, mysterious but straightforward.A ring, a mail-order bride, an antique, a window.Starting from the subtleties, the greed and hidden pain of human nature, and the enthusiasm and purity of love are inextricably entangled.With Angelina's red lips, Cornell Wollrich expressed the theme of his work: this is not a love story, but a story about love.It's about those who surrender to love, and the price they pay for it.

There is almost no reason for addiction. Love lures the characters in the play out of their original peaceful and stable life. They are not afraid of being hurt or destroyed like moths to a flame, willingly falling into a bloody storm.

It turns out that every sin is intoxicating and then heartbreaking.

The person who has written so many passionate stories is not Playboy.In his early photos, Cornell Woolrich is thin and pale, well-dressed and elegant, reminiscent of F. Scott Fitzgerald, another great writer from New York's high society.In fact Fitzgerald was Cornell Woolrich's guardian.

Cornell's life is not inferior to his novels, and even has the same dramatic tension.His parents divorced when he was young, and he lived with his wealthy mother in New York, living in no fixed place, and his homes were luxury rooms in hotels.After failing to break into Hollywood for the first time and ending a short marriage, Cornell Woolrich returned to his mother's side, and his fun-loving mother continued to take Cornell to various hotels.

This Sagittarius man is Peter Pan who does not want to step into the world of mortals.Looking for my own shadow, wondering about the lack of belonging.

The high-end hotel is really the most interesting place in the world. This condensed stage often has the most beautiful scenery in the world, but also the ugliest transactions.Everyone wore masks and dressed up to perform.There is never a cold scene here and it never ends.It was also at that time that he discovered his talent for writing thrillers.That's probably why his first Hollywood sale was called Children of the Ritz.

Hollywood represented by Hitchcock opened its arms to him. Cornell eventually achieved his reputation as the "Father of Crime Films".But after his mother died, Cornell felt that he had lost his focus in life, was addicted to alcohol all day long, his health deteriorated, and he even had to amputate because of delays in treatment.

When Cornell Woolrich died in 1968, he bequeathed his estate to Columbia University, creating a scholarship dedicated to encouraging writing.Interestingly, this scholarship is not named after himself, but after his mother.

Most of Cornell's stories are mysterious name changers, and his loss of identity and confusion about existence are probably written in the script of "I Married a Shadow".Helene, who followed Pierre to the town, met a group of girls out for an outing. The bus was about to leave, and a girl left the group and hadn't returned yet. Her companion shouted her name: Helene!The panic-stricken Helene looked around in a hurry, only to find that the one who promised was a little girl rushing towards her.At this time, Helene's eyes were full of panic, loss and sadness, because she had lost her original name and identity, and was a lost girl who wanted to go home with a stranger.

From then on, I can't forget that pale and delicate face, and the sad eyes are always looking for and avoiding something.

Just can't tell if it's Helene or Cornell.

Finally, it is worth mentioning that Cornell Wollrich's biography has a very cult name called: FirstYou Dream, Then You DieSo heres to us, a short life, but an exciting one.
Taurus man

Bruce Chatwin (13 May 1940-18 January 1989), art connoisseur, novelist, travel writer, of course, the more important point: Taurus man.

With a unique vision and first-class taste, he has always been an icon in my mind since I knew his name on the girdle of the Moleskine notebook and googled his life.

At the age of 18, he entered the Art Department of Sothebys Auction House, became an expert in Impressionism with his keen vision and artistic taste, and was quickly promoted to director.

At the age of 24, Chatwin began to experience problems with his eyesight, and under the guidance of a doctor, he traveled to East Africa.This trip allowed Chatwin to discover the joy of archaeology, so he gave up his job in the auction house and went to the University of Edinburgh to study archaeology.

However, the top student soon became tired of archaeology.Perhaps as he said in the book "What Am I Doing Here": Walking is human nature, and a restless life is doomed from the crawling period of babies.

Since 1972, Chatwin has traveled far and wide.In Paris, a map of South America led him to Patagonia.The six-month travel made "Patagonia Plateau" and his status as a travel writer.

In my opinion, "On the Plateau of Patagonia" and "The Territory of Songs" set the standards for writing travel books, while Photographs and Notebooks, which have not yet been introduced in China, are choices of taste.

An openly bisexual and well-connected artist, Chatwin was married for 15 years.His most famous romance was with German director and playwright Werner Herzog.

When he heard that Chatwin was looking for material for writing in the Australian desert, Herzog went there without hesitation and expressed his admiration for Chatwin.At the time, Chatwin was holding Herzog's Of Walking In Ice, published in 1979.

In 1980, Chatwin was infected with HIV. On his sickbed, he gave Herzog the backpack he had used for many years.

aries woman

undercurrent
In May 2012, Tadao Ando mentioned Yayoi Kusama, an elderly artist whom he admired, in a lecture in Shanghai: She shines brightly in my eyes and is a wonderful person, but I don’t want to drink coffee with her.

In the autumn of the same year, I passed by the Louis Vuitton flagship store on the Champs Elysees in Paris. The wax figure of Yayoi Kusama was standing in the window wearing a red and white polka-dot skirt. Her hair was hotter than flames. I could feel her through the sunglasses. (wax figure) that aggressive Aries girl unique sharp eyes.

But Yayoi Kusama was also gentle, maybe only once.

Among the many cut-and-paste works that Cornell gave to Yayoi Kusama, there is a picture of two yellow butterflies fixed in a wooden frame with thin lines, and next to it is written:

“Yayoi fly back to me spring flower and I shall be a spring to you like this butterfly.”

In the photo of her with Joseph Cornell, Cornell's hands are firmly clasped around her neck, and she is as tame as a dove, because he is the boundary and the support.

After Cornell's death, Yayoi Kusama, like a butterfly who lost her picture frame, returned to her native Japan and found another parasitic box for herself: a mental nursing home.

These are two people who have nothing in common.Joseph Cornell was a lonely cloth salesman who could not draw, had no art education, and lived with a strong mother all his life.Yayoi Kusama is "from a professional background", showing her talent in painting since she was a child, and has received formal art education.Different cultures, ages, ways of creating, but Cornell and Kusama will share the following titles on each other's resumes:

Surrealism, Abstract Expressionism, Pop Art and Art Brut.

What makes them closely connected is the similarity of almost pathological innocence in the works, which creates a strong contrast in the impermanent real world, thus piercing the viewer's heart.They all converge their madness and creative talent in a closed creative form, like children hiding in a closet.

Cornell has been awed by the concept of "infinity" since she was studying astronomy and natural science in her youth, and Yayoi Kusama's fascination with "infinity" has not stopped since she first had hallucinations. for "infinitynet". In 1965, she exhibited "Infinity Mirror Room" in New York

(Infinity Mirror Room), followed by Love Forever the following year.

Over the years, Cornell has piled up "inner" worlds in glass boxes.The materials used to make this world include Princess Medici, parrots, glass, ballerinas, mirrors, marble, broken maps, magazine clippings, and Hollywood star photos... Yayoi Kusama and the ever-growing dots and patterns in her illusion Fight and play.Frames and polka dots can be combined infinitely, or they can form a world of their own.

Because of this black hole that cannot be filled, all creative impulses and emotions can be so quietly no matter how strong they are.

The trapped infinity is an even more endless void.

In the "Box" series, Princess Medici, who lives in the traffic of street lights, is the calm and restrained Cornell among the flamboyant and noisy surrealist artists, while Alice in the world of polka dots is just the grass surrounded by "fireflies on the water". Yayoi.

The power of thought that supported Cornell's surreal experience to stay awake also helped Yayoi Kusama win this battle with her own spiritual world: to retain inspiration while not being swallowed.

Yayoi Kusama, the girl in Cornell's eyes, has been a girl for a lifetime in a perverse way, and has also been sober in a crazy way for a lifetime.Probably it is this kind of "tenacity" like being in a sour solution without melting that makes Ando, ​​who is always sober and progressive, choose to stay away while admiring it.

love is after the wind
If it weren't for the news that the typhoon is coming, I can hear and read it everywhere, I probably wouldn't have remembered that Huang Biyun once wrote a love story.A pure and sentimental love story.

It's really strange, isn't it, Huang Biyun can write about love.

Inspector Zhao Mei and Flight Lieutenant Zhang Chi have known each other for more than 10 years. They used to be classmates, but later met in the police force.

Zhao Mei was not surprised to meet Zhang Chi again, although her life would be the same without him.But Zhao Mei knew that she would always meet Zhang Chi in her life.The two hugged twice, there is no story.

Then one hurricane season, the two obeyed orders from their superiors to send rescue planes into the calm of the eye of the storm.

Before leaving, she called his name behind her, but he didn't hear her.Later, when the storm came, he pushed her behind him at the most critical moment, leaving her in this world to experience all kinds of pain.Pain name, pain level.The rotation and repetition of pain.

This is a story in Chapter 2 of "The Walker".Perhaps it is a story with a pure essence among all Huang Biyun's stories.

Zhao Mei later recalled that two years before the accident, Zhang Chi said with a smile: If I die, I cannot be by your side.

The hurricane they met was called Shanara.

At the end of the story, it is said that only by never loving and forgetting can one be free.

I thought it might be possible.

Then I thought, why do these typhoons that destroy everything always have nice names?
(End of this chapter)