i like you for many years

Chapter 13 Panic (1)
I've seen you confused, I've seen you angry

Have you seen your satisfaction or not seen your love?
I've seen you dance, I've seen you read a book
I've seen you walk, I haven't seen you, I can't bear it
How do I know you care if I haven't seen you cry
——Jiang Meiqi "There Is a Boy Crying for Me"

Have you ever tried to hide a truth with all your might?
Everyone has secrets.

a boy cries for me

In the autumn of 2009, I was in Guangzhou.The Wuhan-Guangzhou Railway was about to open to traffic, but I was still ahead of it and took the train for nearly ten hours in a daze to see you.

It's a pity that when I was in front of the herbal tea shop where I drank three cups of sour plum soup with you, the hut where you lived could already be seen from a distance, and the curtains were changed.

You have always liked blue. When I came to see you a year ago, I laughed at you for not knowing how to take care of yourself, so I couldn't help but change the dark blue curtain cloth for you.Now your room is pink, and many unspeakable and unspeakable pasts have finally returned to my mind.

I dialed your mobile phone at the Gonghua Supermarket, and you yelled and yelled on the phone, and finally you suddenly smiled and said, why don’t you send a text message when I’m here, and wait for me to change my clothes and come down to pick you up.

Only then did I come to my senses, hung up the phone in a hurry, and ran back exhausted from the way I had come.

At the train station, I bought the earliest ticket back to Changsha.Looking at Guangzhou where people are still coming and going, I whispered to myself, goodbye, Zhou Baoming.

From the moment you mistook my call for her, I understood your decision.

The autumn three years ago was far from the good weather it is now.The wet rain in the evening was icy cold, drop by drop.I stepped on the bicycle I snagged from Big Bear and rode unsteadily to school.

At the school gate, I met you.

You stopped me on the cross road ahead and asked me how to get to the South Campus.I shook my head impatiently, waved my hand, and pointed in a direction.You nodded happily, thanked you, turned around and started.

Only then did I realize that I had done something bad in the hazy rain and fog, so I pedaled harder, caught up with you, and shouted loudly, not over there!Inverted!Hello!you come back!

You finally turned your head away with a puzzled look on your face, but you soon understood and changed into a smile.You say, thank you, classmate.

I said, my name is Jiajia.After finishing talking, pat the back seat of the bicycle, and command you generously, come up quickly!I'm going to the South Campus too!
As soon as you hear it, you immediately understand and simply sit on it.As soon as I turned my head, I saw your long legs still stretched in the air, looking terribly awkward.I secretly pursed my lips and smiled in a direction you couldn't see.

I just found out that you came to the South Campus to find a teacher and go through the procedures of transferring to another department.And me, you asked me why I showed up at this meal time on the way back to school.I flicked the raindrops attached to my bangs and said, I want to get drenched in the rain.

You were so startled by my words that you burst out laughing, but you had to quickly gather up your emotions and ask me why.Zhou Baoming, I always think about it later, whether my expression was not sad enough and my voice was not desperate enough to make you think that what I said was just a joke, and that I was cheerful by nature and fully capable of bearing the subsequent disappointments again and again?

I said, my parents are divorced.Sign today.

You looked at my back and suddenly patted my shoulder.I thought you were going to comfort me, but I heard your surprised voice, stop!arrive!
Looking up, the two big characters written in regular script of "South Yard" are standing on the top of the head.

I put you down in the car and was about to turn around and leave, but you stopped me and said, Jiabao, wait for me for 10 minutes, and I will come down after I hand in the application.

When the rain is getting lighter, your smile will be clearly visible.I always remember that day, you were wearing a blue coat, you tucked your head into a hoodie, like a groundhog, so cute.

I never thought that you would be crazy with me that day.

Big Bear doesn't do that.

In fact, when I asked Daxiong to borrow a car in the evening, he looked at me fiercely for a long time.When asked why, I hesitated and didn't say anything.But now, to you, who is still a stranger, I actually revealed the truth.

Although it is not a secret, it is the only time I tell others.

Let me tell you this, you tore open the potato chips you just bought and said, what a stranger, we already know each other.isn't it?Your name is Jiabao, and my name is Zhou Baoming.

I was taken aback, corrected, it was Jiajia!Not treasure.

You shook your head, suddenly smiled slyly, you said, Jiabao Jiabao, it still sounds so nice.

Since then, you have called me that, and it hasn't changed.Jiabao Jiabao, in fact, I also like this name, it makes me secretly feel that we are a good match.But I never dared to tell you.I'm afraid that when I say this, I will blush, and you will laugh at my embarrassment.

You treated me to a lot of delicious food that day, including potato chips, ice cream, rice bowl, cola, and durian.

You like to eat durians, so when you saw a cart selling them on the street, you didn't hesitate to choose a round one.You still have to invite me to eat together.You said, people who have never eaten durian are not worthy to understand the suffering of life.

I laughed out loud, durian is not bitter, but smelly!

You still don't care, just shake your head and educate me, only if you eat stinky and stinky, you can be a master.

I laughed so hard.

Later we made an agreement that as long as I eat half of the durian, you will share with me a secret that you have never told anyone else.

Everyone has secrets!I said categorically.

You simply nodded and said, no problem.

I bit my lip and began to prepare for the cruelest struggle with my taste buds.In fact, I didn't care about your secrets at that time, and I wasn't that curious about you.It's just that I really want to listen to you, eat the most unpalatable food, and exchange the feelings I don't want to touch the most.

I ate half a durian alive.

After doing this, I seem to feel that all the messy emotions are swept away.Only the way you beat the beat and cheered for me made me want to laugh three times with my arms akimbo.I propped my chin and said to you, Zhou Baoming... Actually, I am not against the separation of parents. It is not a day or two that they have a bad relationship.I just don't like the feeling of being left behind.And now, I don't think it matters anymore.

You asked me very cooperatively, why?
Because I have myself.And Mom and Dad, even if separated, are still my Mom and Dad.What did I think of, and asked you with a smile, what is the secret?

You didn't answer, but smiled and handed me a can of Coke.You say, what is a secret?
The secret... Of course it's something only you know.I said.

You let out a soft oh, then tore off the tab on your can of Coke, handed it to me, and said, for you.

At that time, I hadn't heard the song "Coke Ring", so naturally I didn't understand your intentions, so I just took it with a smile and hid the puzzlement of "what kind of gift is this" in my stomach.

You said, things that no one else knows... It seems that only Petunia likes me.

I laughed.Because you are blushing.

But at that time, I didn't think much about it, and naturally I couldn't predict that the name Petunia will be between you and me forever.After many years, you left me because of her.

I still ask you anxiously, do you like her too?

I see you blushing, and I think my guess is nine out of ten.But I didn't expect you to give me a white look, raised your head and took a sip of Coke, and said with a smile, how is it possible.

You said that Penny is the most beautiful girl in your department, but you don't like girls who are too flamboyant.The phone in my pocket rang, and it was Big Bear.I opened the unread text message and saw him saying, Jiajia, why are you not at school?

Big Bear is much better than you, he always calls me Jiajia.I proudly dangled the phone in front of your eyes.You ask me, who is Big Bear?Just as I was about to speak, his phone rang.

On the other end of the phone, Big Bear yelled viciously, why did you come to the riverside!I can't find you at school, I've been looking for you for two hours!
Before the words fell, I saw the figure of Daxiong Wei'an appearing in the field of vision.He trotted along, eyes fixed on his bike.I rushed forward aggressively, and slapped him on the arm. Didn't I just borrow your car for two hours?
Big Bear glared at me, and carried me back with the car like a pet.

I tried my best to turn my head and shouted to you who was getting farther and farther away from us, Zhou Baoming!I'll play with you next time!

You are smiling, fluttering in the wind, and the night by the river gradually envelopes you.

Of course Big Bear is not my boyfriend, he is my good friend.

Every time I introduce him to a girl I have a good relationship with, I will say, Big Bear, my bamboo horse.As for Daxiong himself, he is even more unscrupulous. He has no good things about me in his mouth; after his description, he has no good words for me.

But also because of this, our relationship is unmatched.Ever since I was a child, it wasn’t Daxiong who helped me hide when I failed an exam, when I came home late from school and didn’t lie about revising at his house, and when I couldn’t get a hot meal in the cafeteria, it wasn’t because he cut the queue for me.

In short, where there is a big bear, I have never suffered a disadvantage.If you want to suffer, you will also suffer from him.

But this time, it was the only time that I had something on my mind, but I didn't want to mention it to him.And he seemed to understand that I was in a bad mood, so he deliberately made me happy.We passed a supermarket on the way, and Daxiong asked me to wait at the door, and repeatedly told me that if I dared to sneak, I would be the one to watch!
I nodded obediently and said flatteringly, how dare I.

Big Bear looked at me and searched left and right. It seemed that he didn't see you following me, so he went into the supermarket with peace of mind.

I leaned on my bicycle and waited in a daze.After more than ten minutes, he came out with a big doll in his hand.

It's an ugly, very ugly, not cute fish pillow that can't be compared to Doraemon Garfield.It was yellow and blue, and huge.

The big bear came over, gave me a fierce look, and then stuffed it heavily into my arms.

I was pushed almost to the pole by him, and I only heard him say, I sent it to you, are you in a good mood?
I was moved for a while, and funny for a while.Looking at that ugly fish, how can I like it?I deliberately smacked my lips dissatisfied.Big Bear snorted coldly, still not satisfied?This is the biggest doll in the supermarket.

I still don't speak.

It wasn't until he snatched the fish away that I yelled and said, "Give it back to me, and it's over if I take it back to the dormitory."

Only then did he let go, humming a song all the way, let me sit in the back seat, and drove me back to the dormitory.

That night, I counted the stars all the way for a long time.There are 227 pieces in total.I know the weather will be fine the next day, just like I am now, I no longer feel sad.

I sent a text message to my mother, saying, I will come back to see you during the summer vacation.Mom has not replied, I think she should have gone to bed.

When I said I was looking for you, I was really looking for you.Although I didn't tell Big Bear that I secretly had a wonderful understanding with you.

In the evening, I walked very slowly on the way from the school gate to the snack street to buy food.Everything I look forward to in my heart seems to be God's will.You came to me and called me, Garbo, to have dinner together.

I looked at you and tried my best not to see the clues, lest you find out that I was waiting for you.But you said while walking on the road, I have been waiting for you for a long time.

You said that if you hadn't turned your head and saw me pacing slowly for the 23rd time, you almost planned to give up your squatting operation.I didn't know how to answer, so I deliberately changed the topic and asked which restaurant you went to eat.

You didn't answer, so you took me into a local restaurant.I just noticed that you still have earplugs on your ears, and said angrily, why are you so rude!Pick it up soon!
When you smile, it is that kind of smile again, as if it contains infinite mystery, but it makes people feel believable.You tore off an earplug and put it in my ear domineeringly.

That was the first time I heard "Coke Ring".

"You used the coke I drank/pull the ring as a ring/put it lightly on my finger/you asked if you could last forever/that second you suddenly fell in love with your stupid stubbornness/"

When I heard the key words "Coke", "Ring" and "Lifetime", I couldn't help but look at you in disbelief, but you smiled very gently and looked at me with eyes that seemed to affirm my doubts.

But at this moment, a girl who appeared behind you at some point grabbed your arm.You subconsciously took off the earphones and asked her why she came here.She seemed in a hurry, and said to you, Ah Jun's birthday, why did you forget?Let's go together, I came to call you specially.

As he spoke, he even touched you intimately with his arm.

I seem to have guessed her name.

You look back at me, Garbo, let's go together.

But I noticed the girl's unkind eyes in the shortest time.Her light glance made me understand.I shook my head, not because I was timid, but because I didn't want to embarrass you.

You seem to have thought about it, then smiled and told me, I will pick you up later.

I agreed, and you and she turned around and left the small shop. The pre-ordered dishes were placed on the table, and I had to eat alone.

I can't get it out of my mind, when you walked to the door, I heard you call her, Petunia.

Well, of course you didn't come to see me.Like many predictable episodes, Big Bear sent me a text and asked what I was doing.Facing a table full of unfinished meals, I replied to him that I am eating, do you want to come, I invite you.

But he didn't hear from him for a long time.

I turned back angrily with a bitter face, I didn't expect that you would not accompany me, it's a good friend, my conscience was eaten by a dog.

Big Bear still didn't return.

Until I was dizzy from eating, and it was getting dark, you still didn't come to pick me up to go back to school.Fortunately, I still have hands and feet, I can pay the bill, and I can leave.

I just think about the song you played for me, and reach for that Coke pull tab that's always been in my bag.An inexplicable feeling came to my heart.

At the door, I saw a big bear walking towards me.

His face was rosy, and he had drunk it.I couldn't help scolding him angrily, never drink, what are you doing!

Big Bear raised his head, didn't speak, and vomited all over the floor first.All over my sneakers.

He was drunk.After the big bear vomited, he seemed to be much more awake, and he said this sentence when he opened his mouth.

He drank as much as I did, and so did Petunia.She confessed to Zhou Baoming, but was rejected.But those present, no one believed that there was nothing between them.Otherwise... Big Bear swallowed his saliva, he wouldn't be so drunk and send her home.

……send her home……

I was stunned by the bang of these four words.

Then who will take me home?I was wronged, my nose was sore, and tears fell.Zhou Baoming, this is the first time I cry for you out of nowhere.If you liked Penny early in the morning, why give me those illusions?

Really...just an illusion.

Big Bear said intermittently, Jiajia, I'm here to take you back.Don't wait for him.

I really didn't wait for you.Zhou Baoming, of course I couldn't let the drunken bear see me off, instead I sent him back to the dormitory first.I said, don't worry, what else can I do?I'll just text you when I get there.

After speaking, he threw the big bear into his big quilt.Greet the buddies in his dormitory to take care of him.

I got a call from you on the way home.

Of course you didn't mention Penny.The whole phone call, you waited for an answer from me.You asked me, Garbo, can you accept me?

What you said was simple and straightforward, but I hesitated.Zhou Baoming, I have to admit in my heart that I did fall in love with you for no reason during this strange encounter.

However, because of this, I am afraid of losing.

I don't know you well, I don't know your past, I don't know your friends, I don't even have a big bear close to your life circle.I can't answer you.Until, you said the last sentence in this phone call.

You said, Jiajia, in fact, I went to pick you up, but you have already left.

You say, I'm sorry.

I finally laughed, with your words, everything else is over.I said, Mingbao, tomorrow's lunch... I'll leave it to you!

You were so happy that you responded repeatedly, as if you were afraid that I would change my mind in the next second.

Zhou Baoming, I really miss you that night.Although I can't see you, I can clearly feel that everything in your heart is full of me.

I barely slept all night.In the middle of the night, send a text message to Big Bear, telling him that you and I are together smoothly.He returned quickly, congratulations on your success!It’s just that the progress is too fast, so you have to be careful.

Be careful what!I asked.

Be careful of the mistress!Big Bear said briskly.

I snickered, a little worried that once the truth was told, I didn't care that much.In fact, I have confidence in you.

(End of this chapter)