Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 18 Lu Xiaoman: When I write that the lake and mountains are always lonely (2)
According to the marriage conditions issued by Xu Shenru, the two must return to their hometown to live after marriage.On the ninth day of the ninth lunar month, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman returned to Xiashi, Haining.They lived in Shanghai for more than a month before returning to their hometown to spend a period of fairy-like days.In a letter to a friend, Xu Zhimo said: "My father is in Shanghai, and there is only a mother at home. She gets up around nine o'clock every day, eats all day long, and goes to bed at eight o'clock in the evening. Is there anything I can do, other than cuddling her obediently until a ball of fire hits her, and the master is covered with ice, do you think this is happiness or pain?" This is really hypocritical, but Xu's father is not at home, They really lived their honeymoon like a fairy day.

Laziness is always temporary.After Xu Shenru returned home, one day he proposed to let Lu Xiaoman take care of the bank.Xu Zhimo said: "Xiaoman is most afraid of numbers, let her manage the money, definitely not."

Xu Shenru said: "I don't want her to clean, I don't want her to do housework, you have to manage your own property by herself!" Xu Shenru was originally disgusted with Lu Xiaoman, and the longer they got along, the bigger the rift, and the more he could not understand the new Daughter-in-law.One day, feeling really depressed, the old couple ran away from Xiashi and went to Beijing to join their ex-daughter-in-law and goddaughter Zhang Youyi.

In front of Zhang Youyi, the old couple poured out their dissatisfaction with their new daughter-in-law like beans in a bamboo tube.

"When Lu Xiaoman first came, he insisted on taking the red sedan chair. According to the rules in our country, only first-married women can sit on this kind of sedan chair."

"At dinner, she only ate half a bowl, so she said pitifully: 'Zhimo, help me finish this bowl of rice.' The rice was still cold, who knows if Zhimo will get sick after eating it!"

"After dinner, we were about to go upstairs to rest. Lu Xiaoman turned around and said pitifully: 'Zhimo, carry me upstairs.' This is a grown woman, and she actually asked my son to carry her upstairs. Her I haven't even wrapped my feet!"

Zhang Youyi has a good tradition of family education. After divorcing Xu Zhimo, she still served the two elders of the Xu family diligently without any estrangement or distinction.Xu Shenru has always had high hopes for Xu Zhimo, marrying such a respectful and humble daughter-in-law as Zhang Youyi, and adding a grandson, A Huan, is the icing on the cake, and the two elders of the Xu family are satisfied.Unexpectedly, Xu Zhimo not only divorced Zhang Youyi, but also found a socialite for the Xu family. Xu Shenru was so disappointed that he soon cut off the financial supply of the newlyweds.

After the parents-in-law left, Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman enjoyed the world of two to their heart's content, living a romantic and leisurely life in the small town of Kipshi, where "the grass is green and the people are far away, and the first-class cold stream".But those days are soon over.The Northern Expedition began to intensify, and the military chaos made the town no longer peaceful. Xu Zhimo and Lu Xiaoman had to leave Xiashi and move to live in Shanghai.

After moving to Shanghai, Xu Zhimo is very busy.For the literary ideals he loves, but also for the living expenses after marriage, he, Wen Yiduo, Hu Shi, Zhang Yujiu, Shao Xunmei and others founded "Xinyue Bookstore" on Huanlong Road, Shanghai, and later founded the monthly "Xinyue"; At the same time, he also taught part-time at Guanghua University, Soochow University, Daxia University, etc., but even so, it still couldn't satisfy Lu Xiaoman's daily consumption.

Ten miles of foreign land, drunk and dreaming of death.Coming to the metropolis of Shanghai, Lu Xiaoman is like a fish in water.She seems to be born only for enjoyment, she lives for singing and dancing, and lives for drunkenness, dreams and death.She was a well-known social butterfly in Beijing. During the special period from her passionate love to marriage with Xu Zhimo, she temporarily left the social occasions of singing and dancing, and only focused on the fanatical romance.Now, the passion for marriage and love is gradually fading, and this social butterfly who left the scene for a while has returned.

She began to frequently go to various banquets, dances, and theaters, playing cards, listening to operas, dancing, and holding horns, and rented a building in a garden villa with a monthly fee of [-] yuan. She has a private car and a driver. , cooks, personal maids and many servants, spending money like water, attracting friends, wearing fashionable and high-end clothes, and entering and exiting places are either honorable or expensive.Her daily routine has become upside down day and night, she wakes up at noon every day, spends an hour in the bathroom before eating at the table, meets and chats with guests in the afternoon, and has a nightlife all night in the evening. .

Xu Zhimo gradually felt that life was exhausting and boring.The silver dollars he earned every month plus the manuscript fee was already a huge sum at that time, but after handing it over to Lu Xiaoman, it was still not enough for her to spend.After all, he and Lu Xiaoman are not alike.He is enthusiastic but his life is not erosive. Although he is full of childish romantic yearning for love, his spiritual world is full of positive sunshine.He has been urging Lu Xiaoman to tap his roots of wisdom and achieve success in the field of art, but for a woman whose bones are full of pleasure factors, even if she accepts such advice for a short time, it is nothing more than Ye Gong's love for dragons.

Not only did she have fun by herself, but sometimes she also dragged Xu Zhimo to join the ticket show.Although Xu Zhimo was extremely reluctant, but because he doted on Lu Xiaoman, he just blindly tolerated it. On December 1926, 12, he wrote in his diary:
I wanted to go to a remote church alone on the Winter Solstice to listen to some Christmas waka, but instead I put on a bloated robe and went to the stage to perform an uncomfortable "rotten" play.I want to write a few lines of verses from the warm place of the soul alone on a frosty winter night, but I follow people to the waxed dance hall to admire the golden shoes and socks of the ladies.

——("Zhimo Diary")
The ostentation is getting bigger and the expenses are getting bigger and bigger. Lu Xiaoman's interest in life has also shifted from romantic spiritual pleasure to the pursuit of material desire satisfaction.

At the beginning of 1926, when Xu Zhimo went south, he sent Lu Xiaoman a "wordless plum blossom letter" and a jasper sachet, thinking that when Lu Xiaoman received it, there would still be a fragrance of lingering sweetness. What a pure and beautiful feeling of joy and happiness, although it took a few days Later, it cost a lot of money to buy her clothes, so Xu Zhimo complained half-annoyed and half-flattering, "It's just a baby, how good you emptied all of Momo's pockets!" But at that time, Xu Zhimo was willing, There is an essential difference from Lu Xiaoman's extravagance after marriage.

At the beginning of 1927, in the correspondence with Hu Shi, Xu Zhimo said: "Xiaoman said that short messages are boring, long letters have no energy to write, so she simply doesn't write, she wants you to bring back some things, purses, socks and so on." Even in 1930 In [-], Xu Zhimo also asked people to buy silk handkerchiefs and other things from abroad on behalf of Lu Xiaoman repeatedly, and even asked Liu Haisu to advance funds for him many times.

She wants a more refined life, so delicate as handkerchiefs and silk scarves, but she has to go through a lot of trouble and ask people to buy them from abroad.She may not have thought that all her expenses were supported by Xu Zhimo's multiple part-time jobs like a windfall, for her to squander.

Therefore, when Xu Zhimo died in 1931, she cut off her source of income and became a poor woman who relied on others to help her.

But even so, she was still dissatisfied with Xu Zhimo.Because she met Weng Ruiwu, a cultural broker whom Hu Shi called "a conceited and elegant vulgar man".

Weng Ruiwu was a son of an official in the former Qing Dynasty. He had a rich collection of antiques in his family. He was handsome when he was young. He was good at opera, massage, and was also very good at appreciating paintings and antiques.He and Lu Xiaoman knew each other because they shared common interests and hobbies.

Before Lu Xiaoman and Wang Geng divorced, she went to the hospital to have an abortion, but the operation was so unsuccessful that the root cause of the disease remained.After arriving in Shanghai, the upside-down life of day and night caused her old diseases, and her irregular daily diet made her suffer from severe stomach problems.After singing for two days in a row, Lu Xiaoman suddenly fell ill and passed out.Weng Ruiwu massaged her in time, and she quickly recovered.Weng Ruiwu once studied under Ding Fengshan, a famous doctor of One-Finger Zen massage, and specialized in Tuina. Therefore, whenever Lu Xiaoman fell ill, Weng Ruiwu used Tuina to treat her, and the effect was very obvious every time.From then on, Lu Xiaoman gradually became dependent on Weng Ruiwu in some form.

Probably when he was ill, and Weng Ruiwu couldn't be with him day and night, Lu Xiaoman followed Weng Ruiwu's suggestion and took opium to suppress his illness.Therefore, no matter whether Xu Zhimo is at home or not, Lu Xiaoman can always sit on the couch with Weng Ruiwu grandly, swallowing clouds and mist.For Lu Xiaoman, what she needs most right now is no longer Xu Zhimo's romantic lyricism, but the mental anesthesia given by her theater friend, painter friend and smoker friend Weng Ruiwu.

Although Xu Zhimo deceived himself when the rumors spread, he said: "The opium couch seems to be close, but it can only talk and not make love. Therefore, the most orderly and innocent relationship between men and women is the opium couch, and the most ambiguous and noisy is the opium couch." Playing cards." I don't know how sincere these remarks are.When he opened the door and saw his wife lying on the same couch with another man, the smoke filled the air, could he really not care at all?I'm afraid not at all.

Patience always has a limit, so in June 1928, Xu Zhimo, who was disillusioned with love, left home in anger and went abroad for a leisure trip.

The ship sailed in the Pacific Ocean, and Xu Zhimo wrote letters in the ship.Even though he was extremely disappointed in real life, what he was thinking in his heart was still Lu Xiaoman who couldn't let go:

Being on the boat is an excellent opportunity for introspection. The more I think about it, the more I feel that we need to be enlightened.This kind of loose life in Shanghai is really unacceptable. I have to heal your body first, and then set a scale to create another world and do things that others can't do.

... It is dangerous to do nothing. It is definitely not a good thing to be full of warm clothes and do nothing.If your health can recover in the past few months, you must at least learn painting seriously and read some official books.If you want to come, you have to be serious, and you can't coax yourself. I really hope that you can listen to Mo's words...

——(Xu Zhimo to Lu Xiaoman)
Thinking that Lu Xiaoman was spoiled by Xu Zhimo, "you can't coax yourself", the information revealed by this sentence is enough to explain Lu Xiaoman's impetuous nature.For a woman like her who lives in the clouds, she is pampered and coaxed anyway, has no worries about food and clothing, and hugs her back. It is difficult to worry about it, let alone motivate herself all the time.

(End of this chapter)