Meet you in the most beautiful years

Chapter 30 Love Returns to Tao Ranting (1)
bony ivory ring
At the end of September 1924, after Gao Junyu was appointed by the party, he arrived in Guangzhou and began to assist Sun Yat-sen in his work.

At this time, Gao Junyu, while shouldering the historical mission of cooperation between the Kuomintang and the Communist Party, was suffering from emotional frustration.The strong quality of a man is often knowing how to swallow pain and accept the challenge of fate.

At that time, Guangzhou was not very peaceful.In August of this year, Chen Lianbo, a big comprador of the Hong Kong HSBC Bank, colluded with the warlord Chen Jiongming, and planned to overthrow the revolutionary government of Guangdong by force.Under their manipulation, the Guangzhou business group bought a large number of guns and ammunition from German businessmen. When they arrived in Guangzhou, they were seized and seized by Huangpu students.Chen Lianbo organized and threatened merchants to go on strike under the pretext of "withholding weapons", creating public opinion and blatantly opposing the revolutionary government led by Sun Yat-sen.In order to quell the adverse effects caused by the strike, on the evening of October 8, under the order of Sun Yat-sen, it was decided to return some of the seized arms, more than 10 guns and 9 rounds of ammunition to the representatives of the business group at Xihaokou, Guangzhou at noon the next day. .

The second day coincided with the Double Tenth Festival, which was the 13th anniversary of the Wuchang Uprising. According to the plan, Gao Junyu was ordered to command the commemorative parade and demonstrate to the business groups.The parade was full of passion, chanted slogans all the way, and marched through the streets of Guangzhou.

Gao Junyu was sitting in the command car. At this moment, neither he nor the parade people expected that when they arrived at Taiping Road, the merchant army, which had brought back guns and ammunition from the revolutionary government, would suddenly turn their guns and shoot at them!
The parade turned into a bloody massacre in a blink of an eye. The bullets of the merchant army fired at the unarmed crowd. In the chaos, a stray bullet pierced through the window glass of Gao Junyu's command car, rubbing one of Gao Junyu's hands and shooting it.

Regardless of his hand injury, Gao Junyu urgently evacuated the masses, and assisted Sun Yat-sen in dispatching the industrial regiment army and the Yunnan, Guangxi, Guangdong and other armies to Guangzhou to suppress the reactionary business groups. On October 10, the revolutionary army surrounded the headquarters of the merchant group and completely quelled the rebellion of the merchant group in just a few hours.

The Double Ten massacre and the business group rebellion made Gao Junyu realize that there is only a thin line between life and death.In fact, he had understood this truth a long time ago, but after this incident, this truth emerged before his eyes more clearly, presenting unprecedented cruelty and clarity.

He is still so young. At 23 years old, he and Deng Zhongxia organized the Marxist Theory Research Association. At 24 years old, he became one of the earliest members of the Communist Party of China. At 25 years old, he is already a member of the Party Central Committee.And this year, he just turned 27 years old.What a youthful life!But the turbulent society and the chaotic current situation are still cruel and ferocious compared with the revolution he is joining. Since he has chosen this new and hopeful path, he is ready for life and death, and he will definitely look at it detachedly.

So, love, it seems, should also be detached.Since the woman he loves insists on an ice-snow friendship, he should bury the emotional waves and wait for time to bring peace in his heart.

On the day when Guangzhou reopened after the rebellion subsided, Gao Junyu got up early on purpose and went to the shops and markets.A pair of ivory rings appeared before his eyes.At that moment, as if he had been induced, he couldn't bear to look away.The immaculate white ring is more like the ice and snow friendship between him and Bo Wei, more like the tragic youthful life.

A ring is a token of the covenant between lovers, but how should the emotion between them be defined?Obviously, the texture of gold and silver has surpassed their ice and snow friendship, only the whiteness of ivory seems to be suitable.

He bought the pair of rings without thinking, and put one on his hand, and sent the other to Shi Pingmei in Beijing with a letter.

Although I can't make the sea calm, but after you officially decided our destiny, I firmly believe that the sea of ​​hearts ruled by turbulent mountains and strong winds will be calm one day, no matter it is thousands of years later, or it is just this grasp. pen instantly.We have only to wait for peace to come, death to come, if that is what we want.What is easy to lose is what is carefully guarded; may our friendship be like hands, which can be held tightly or let go gently.Viewing the universe in this way, we have no pain and can be with the universe.

My hand was slightly injured in the double ten day business group attack.I don't know whether it was luck or misfortune, the stray bullet pierced the glass of the car, and I was able to sit in the car without dying!I still keep a few pieces of broken glass here as a souvenir when I see you.Yesterday I suddenly got up very early and ran to the store to buy two ivory rings; I wore the larger one on my finger, and I sent the smaller one to you, I hope you accept it.Maybe you can't bear it!Then let it have the same fate as the red leaf.May we use "white" to commemorate this life as dead as a dry bone.

——(Gao Junyu to Shi Pingmei)
When I received this letter, it was Shi Pingmei's birthday on the nineteenth day of the eighth lunar month.She wrote in "Tian Xin": "On my birthday, I received the ivory ring you sent. Of course, I would also like to use the whiteness and solidity of ivory to commemorate our own quiet life like a dry bone." She knew that this The ring is not only a promise, but also a tragic acceptance. Together with him, she endured this whiteness and silence, commemorating their sad emotions.

But in the eyes of friends, this bone-like ring is a symbol of bad luck.

It was a bright and clear day in late autumn, and Shi Pingmei invited Lu Jingqing to Yuhuachun to eat crabs.The two sat at the table facing each other, drinking rose wine with yellow ocher crabs.Lu Jingqing seemed a little drunk, she squinted her eyes slightly, staring at Shi Pingmei's hand holding the wine glass for a long time.

She asked solemnly, when did you wear that ring?Why did Tian Xin give you such a pale and cold thing?
Originally it was just a trivial matter, but because of Jingqing's words, it suddenly had the shadow of fate.At that time, Shi Pingmei's heart was suddenly filled with sadness, and under the stimulation of the rose wine, she passed out drunk by the table.

After a few minutes, she woke up and poured another glass of wine to drink.

Lu Jingqing begged her: "Can you allow me to take it off, I don't want you to wear it."

Shi Pingmei shook her head: "No, Jingqing! I've been wearing it for three days, and I've decided to wear it with my soul. Forgive my friend, I can't take it off."

Her face gradually became pale, lost the rosy color after drinking, and there was sincere sympathy in her eyes, which made me feel even more sad!Who is she for!She is indeed for me, for my glorious destiny, she is lightly wrapped in this pale and cold ring.

——(Shi Pingmei "Ivory Ring")
As Gao Junyu expected, she couldn't bear to let this pure white ring repeat the fate of the lovesick red leaf.She couldn't refuse Gao Junyu's persistent and miserable heart again, besides, this heart no longer thought of anything else, it seemed to be a kind of pleading, just for the sake of remembrance.

Therefore, even in Lu Jingqing's eyes, this ring is an unlucky token, she still has to wear it to comfort or commemorate this relationship.

Gao Junyu didn't stop, the KMT-CPC cooperation was at a critical period, and the warlord factions were fighting endlessly, and the situation would be reversed at every turn, and all previous efforts would be wasted. He was an important force of the party at this time, and he could not afford to slack off.

But he was indeed physically and mentally exhausted, and the hemoptysis that would occur in autumn also made him often sick. Although the running and exhaustion made him forget his illness, his health was increasingly approaching the limit of endurance.

On October 10, Feng Yuxiang launched a coup in Beijing, overthrew the Zhili warlord government, expelled Emperor Qingxun Puyi from the palace, and changed his headquarters to the National Army of the Republic of China. At the same time, he sent a telegram to invite Sun Yat-sen to go north to Beijing to discuss state affairs.

This coup, also known as the capital revolution, had epoch-making significance in the course of Chinese history. It not only eradicated the feudal monarchy, but also created conditions for the convening of the National Assembly.But after the coup is a critical period, the slightest negligence will make the results fall by the wayside.In order to prevent the forces of Duan Qirui and Zhang Zuolin from taking advantage of the situation, the Party Central Committee decided to ask Gao Junyu, who was still in Guangzhou, to urge Sun Yat-sen to go north as soon as possible.

After the rebellion of the merchant group was put down, Gao Junyu served as Sun Yat-sen's secretary because of his excellent work.

On November 11, under the mobilization and urging of Gao Junyu, Sun Yat-sen finally left Guangzhou with his wife Soong Ching Ling, accompanied by Wang Jingwei, Dai Jitao, Kong Xiangxi and others, and traveled northward.

This trip to the north lasted a full 20 days.After leaving Guangzhou and arriving in Shanghai from Hong Kong, the Northward Mission went to Japan for a few days. At this time, Sun Yat-sen was already sick and weak, and he stopped and stopped all the way until December 12th.

During this process, Gao Junyu was anxious.One more day of delay means one more day of worry and a little more urgency.In the exhaustion of body and mind, he coughed up blood several times, but managed to hold on.When he arrived in Tianjin, he could no longer afford it, and was sent back to Beijing for treatment by Li Dazhao.

Gao Junyu was lying in the Beijing German Hospital. It seemed that only at this moment could he relax and settle down for a rest.Although he was seriously ill, he felt a little relieved in his heart, because in the tense revolutionary situation, he could only see his beloved Bo Wei when he was lying in the hospital.

A pure white snow covered the city of Beijing once again.Although this winter was painful and cold, Gao Junyu felt a lot of sadness and warmth in his heart because of Bo Wei by his side.He had always worn that white ivory ring on his hand, and when he saw that Bo Wei was also wearing one, the tide in his heart became gentle and peaceful.

On New Year's Day, Shi Pingmei stepped on the snow to see him.Gao Junyu leaned on the hospital bed and told her about last night's dream.

After the injection last night, Gao Junyu, who often suffers from insomnia, finally fell asleep.It was a moonlit night in the dream, the moonlight was clear and bright, reflecting the flowing water of the willows, and a small boat was tied under the willows, swinging gently in the breeze on the river.He went under the tree and untied the rope of the boat, and was about to step on it when he heard someone calling his name in the willow forest.He walked into the deep jungle following the sound, and heard the sound coming from a tree above his head.He raised his head, only to find that it was his dear Bowei who was tied to the tree.

Guess who called me?Wave!You must never have imagined that it was you who made the pitiful voice calling me from the tree!I don't know who tied you to the tree.When I recognized your voice, I rushed over like a beast and untied you from the tree. You looked at me with teary eyes, and I didn’t know why I suddenly felt sad, and my tears couldn’t help Forbidden drops on your cheeks!
——(Shi Pingmei "Night Flight")
In the dream, they are a pair of people who depend on each other in suffering.Isn't Bowei tied to a tree the real Bowei?She was tied up by the stubborn ice and snow friendship, and by the celibate Suzhi. After all, her consciousness was not deep enough, she couldn't repair the scars of her first love, and she didn't have the courage to face a new relationship.Therefore, her pain hurts herself, and it hurts Tian Xin who loves her deeply.

But she was still kidnapped, crying while insisting on her mistakes.

"I only want to bury the barren hills alone"

During the days in the German hospital, Gao Junyu lived in pain and happiness.Although the sad melancholy haunted them all the time, even though the hemoptytic patient was weak and haggard, all these were but a mist compared with Bovi's gentle nurse.He even expressed his satisfaction to Shi Pingmei with gratitude:

I always feel that I am a happy person submerged in pain. Although I have never gained anything, I will always miss it in this hut. There is my blood and your tears here!Just these few scenes of tragedies in the world are enough for me to be proud. I shouldn't expect what God forbids me in this world. I know what I have repented from now on!
——(Shi Pingmei ""Martyrdom")
This passage, spoken by a young revolutionary, is so emotional.He strives for Bo Wei's love time and time again with expectations. For this reason, he makes up his mind to release the feudal marriage that has imprisoned him for ten years, and appears in front of her as a free body. He thinks that Bo Wei will be as excited as he is, and will Celebrate this hard-won new life, and happily accept his sincere love, but all of this is just his wishful thinking.

When his agitated heart was finally calmed down by repeated disappointments, he gradually got used to all of this, comforting himself that he should be content, he already got a lot, so why demand more?

This love is giving without reservation and giving without expecting anything in return.Shi Pingmei knew it, but her closeness and stubbornness, as well as the shadow of sadness of a broken love, made her like Lin Daiyu, who was weeping and weeping, and clinging to a miserable life sensitively and melancholy.

Before the annual leave, she brought a bunch of red plums and went to the hospital to see Tian Xin.He was asleep when the door opened.She looked at him carefully, a resolute and brave young man, his brows were furrowed, his lips were burnt purple, his once gentle and lively face was as pale as a stone statue.She stood blankly in front of the bed, watched him quietly for 10 minutes, and finally couldn't help calling him in a low voice, and lay down beside his bed and wept softly.She put the red plum in her hand into the purple jade bottle on the table, and left him a note: "Tian Xin! When Mei Xiang woke you up, I came to you in your dreams."

It's not that she doesn't love him, it's just that she wakes up too late.He was so kind to her, so good that she forgot that life has an end, so good that she didn't feel that being willful was a kind of harm.

"Where is the farthest place on earth?" he asked Bo Wei thoughtfully.

"It's where I stand." Bo Wei replied quickly.

He didn't say anything, just smiled miserably.He should give up completely.

A few months later, when Shi Pingmei was too late to regret the pain and disappointment her willfulness had caused him, she would never be able to forgive what she had said in her heart.It was a soft knife that cut his heart.

But at that time, his temperament has become more gentle and considerate, he understands and understands Bo Wei's difficulties, the more depressed he is, the more generous and tolerant his attitude towards her.

What else do you worry about, I am a snowflake flying into your palm, I have no self in front of you.What you want, I'm willing to go through fire and water to find it, and what you don't want, I'm willing to go through fire and water to avoid it.I would like to piously give you eternal pride in your world.When this is the belief you insist on, I would like to fulfill this golden and jade-clean belief for you. ... Let us do whatever we like, I just want to tell you sincerely, "love" is not a gift, if love is a thing, then the giver will suffer loss, and the receiver may not feel at ease.

——(Shi Pingmei ""Martyrdom")
He is most worthy of respect, and what Shi Pingmei cannot let go of, is his indomitable loyalty to love, and his sober and perfect expectation for love.He doesn't need pity, let alone charity.When Bo Wei's heart knot has not been untied, and his feelings for him are not pure love, then, he would rather fulfill her firm faith for her.

In Shi Pingmei's mind, there should be an essential difference between Gao Junyu and Wu Tianfang.Wu Tianfang first captured her heart before confessing to her; and her Tianxin was willing to have a relationship with her without any distractions after breaking away from the shackles of marriage.Which is more important, she can naturally weigh it.But people are often such strange things, they underestimate what should be cherished, and value what should be discarded.

For all these, Gao Junyu, who is obsessed with loving her, has become indifferent; he is also indifferent to life.

Hemoptysis almost exhausted his youth and vitality.Ten years ago, his father forced him to get married. Facing his fainting father, although he accepted his fate and completed the wedding at the mercy of others like a puppet, he was depressed and depressed, and finally vomited blood and became a persistent illness.After that, hemoptysis accompanied him for a full ten years, and would even accompany him until the end of his life.

What a sad old-fashioned marriage!What's even more tragic is that this inhumane system is actually implemented by one's own relatives in the name of love.Even if his father is enlightened, he is still so stupid, let alone those feudal parents who have become insensitive under the old system?So he wants to be a pioneer, to smash a gap in the dark cave, let some free light come in.

Perhaps in the dark, he knew that his life was about to wither, so one day after the snow, he asked Bo Wei to accompany him to Taoranting to find a cemetery for himself.

It was January 1th, and Taoranting was white and quiet after the snow.On the earth hill behind the pavilion, the incense tombs and parrot tombs are covered with white snow, making it even more cold and peaceful.Although Gao Junyu was weak at this time, there were signs of improvement.Leaning on a cane, with the support of Shi Pingmei, he walked slowly on the snowy ground of Taoranting.

When he reached the root of the city, he stopped, smiled and drew two words on the snow with his cane: Xinzhu.That was Shi Pingmei's baby name. In Gao Junyu's eyes at that time, apart from her parents who were far away in the mountain city, Bo Wei was also the jewel in his heart.

The sun was shining warmly, and these two characters were extremely dazzling on the white snow.He looked at those two words for a long time, and when Shi Pingmei smoothed them with his feet, he suddenly felt sad.The orange petals in his hand fell on the snow, and he dug a hole in the snow with his stick, and buried two orange petals in it.

Walking past Gemu's tomb, he pointed to a piece of grass next to him and told Bo Wei that it would be his burial place.He smiled sadly, and murmured to himself: "I'm only going to be buried in the barren hills alone."

"I can only bury a barren hill alone", this is a sentence in Immensee, a German novelist, by Storm.The young Reinhard loved his childhood sweetheart Elizabeth, but he missed this emotion because he was ashamed to express it.Years later, when he returned to Elizabeth, he found that she was married, so he left sadly, and died with deep-seated thoughts of Elizabeth.

During his studies abroad, Reinhard once heard the gypsy singer sing the following ballad in a tavern:
Today, only today

I'm still so slim
Ming Dynasty, Ming Dynasty

everything is going to rest
only this moment
You are my everything

time to die, time to die

I'm only fit to bury the deserted hills alone

Such a poignant emotion is the most appropriate portrayal of Gao Junyu's heart.He has a longing for life, but he never really gets close to love, he can only be alone, lonely in life and lonely in death.

The next day, he wrote a letter to Shi Pingmei:

"Zhu! Yesterday was the day we visited Taoranting, and it is also a memorable day in our history. Half of our history was written in Huangzhai, and half was written in the hospital. I hope that it will be completed here in the future. Zhu! Don't forget My entrustment, and keep everything in my heart forever.

(End of this chapter)