Carnegie Language Breakthroughs and the Art of Communication

Chapter 4 The most popular conversation skills (3)
I once organized a workshop on oratory in Paris, which was copied and distributed to Americans living in Paris.The French typist I hired had poor English and made a mistake when typing the name.One of the participants in the workshop was the manager of an American bank in Paris, and I received a letter from him reproaching that my French typist had misspelled his name.

How did Andrew Carnegie succeed?
He is known as the "Steel King", but he doesn't know much about steel.And the thousand men who worked for him knew better at making steel than Andrew Carnegie.

Andrew Carnegie knew how to manage people -- that's how he got rich.In his early years, he already showed great organizational skills and a genius for leadership.By the time he was 10, he had discovered that people took their names very seriously.Having made this discovery, he made use of it.

Here is a memory from his childhood:
This Scottish boy got a rabbit, a female.Soon, the female rabbit gave birth to a litter of young rabbits.However, I couldn't find anything to feed the little rabbit.Andrew Carnegie had a brilliant idea.He told the children in the neighborhood that if anyone went to pick what the little rabbit ate, the little rabbit would be called by his name.His plan worked so well that Andrew Carnegie never forgot it.

Years later, he employed the same technique in various businesses that earned him millions of dollars.Example: He is selling rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad, of which Thomson is the director.Andrew Carnegie built a large steel mill in Pittsburgh and named it "Thomson Steel Works."

Guess which company Thomson would buy rails from for the Pennsylvania Railroad?
Once when Carnegie and Burm competed for the rights to the small car and passenger car business, he remembered the rabbit's experience again.

The Central Transportation Company in charge of Andrew Carnegie and the company operated by Bulham competed for the small car and passenger car business of the Pacific Railway, and they crowded out each other and cut prices one after another, which almost eroded the profits they could obtain.Both Carnegie and Bloom went to New York to meet with the board of the Pacific Railroad.Carnegie met Bloom that night at the St. Nicholas Hotel, and he put it this way: "Good night, Mr. Bloom, aren't we both fooling ourselves?"

Bloom asked, "What do you mean?"

So Carnegie expressed his opinion... He used solemn and upright words, hoping that the businesses of the two parties would be merged, and since the two parties would not compete, greater and more benefits could be obtained.

Although Bullm listened carefully, he did not fully agree, and finally he asked: "What name are you going to use for this new company?" Carnegie immediately replied: "Of course it will be Burm Palace Small Car, Passenger Car Company." gone."

Burm's tense face suddenly relaxed, and he said: "Mr. Carnegie, come to my room, let's talk in detail!" page new history.

Andrew Carnegie had a superb memory and respect for names, and that should be the secret of his leadership.He can call out the names of many salesmen, which is something he is proud of.He often proudly said that when he personally handled the company's business, there had never been a strike in his company.

Petwarski has the same situation. In order to make the black chef who waits on him feel important, he always calls the black chef "Mr. Cobb".

People value their own names, try their best to keep their names passed down, and are even willing to pay any price.Mr. Barnum, though an old man of the world, regrets that he has no son to carry his name, so he is willing to give $25 to his grandson "Seary" if he will call himself "Barnum" M Sirey's words.

That was more than 200 years ago. Rich people often gave money to those writers to publish books in his name.

Libraries and museums have rich collections, and the names of the donors are on those displays.The reason is that those people want their name to last forever.

Most people probably wouldn't be busier than Roosevelt, but he would even keep a mechanic's name firmly in mind.

The situation is like this:

The Chrysler Motor Company built a special car for Mr. Roosevelt.Chamberlain and a mechanic delivered the car to the White House.Chamberlain gave me a letter describing the situation at the time. He said: "I taught President Roosevelt how to drive this car with many special devices, but he taught me many skills in dealing with people."

Mr. Chamberlain's letter reads:

When I got to the White House, the President seemed very happy, and I was very relieved that he called me by my first name.I was particularly impressed by how attentively he listened to me as I told every detail about the car.

The car has been specially designed to be driven entirely by hand.President Roosevelt said in front of the group of onlookers: "This car itself is a miracle. You only need to press the switch, and it can start by itself. You can drive this car effortlessly. Its wonderful design is really good. I don't know the principle of it, I really hope I have time to take it apart and see how it is made."

When Roosevelt's friends and White House officials praised the car, he said: "Mr. Chamberlain, I really thank you. You have spent a lot of time and energy to design this car. Criticism, terrific engineering." He admired the radiators, especially the reflectors, the lights, the style of the upholstery, the position of the driver's seat, the special wardrobe in the trunk and the markings on the wardrobe.In other words, President Roosevelt watched every tiny design in the car.

He knew that I had put a lot of painstaking efforts into it, and especially pointed out these devices to Mrs. Roosevelt, the Secretary of Labor and his secretary, Perkins.He also said to the black attendant next to him: "Qiao Qi, you have to take good care of these specially designed suitcases."

After I told the story about driving, the President said to me, "Okay, Mr. Chamberlain, I've kept the Central Reserve Board on hold for 30 minutes, and I should get back to work."

I took a mechanic to the White House, and I introduced him to President Roosevelt.He did not speak to the president, and President Roosevelt heard his name only once.The mechanic was a shy man who hid behind. When we were about to leave, the President approached the mechanic, shook his hand, called his name, and thanked him for coming to Washington.The president's thanks to the mechanic were not superficial, but sincere and heartfelt, which I could feel.

Shortly after I returned to New York, I received a photo and a thank you letter signed by the President.It amazes me that he finds the time to do this.

President Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious, and most important ways to gain favor is to remember the other person's name and make the other person feel important.However, among us, how many people can do this?
When someone introduces a stranger to us, although we have a few minutes of conversation, we often have completely forgotten the name of the other person before we leave.

The first lesson of a political scientist is: remember the names of voters.

The ability to remember names is equally important in career, communication and politics.

The French Emperor Napoleon III, the nephew of the great Napoleon, once proudly said: Although he is very busy with state affairs, he can remember the name of everyone he has met.

Does he have skills?Yes, that's easy, if he doesn't catch it, he says, "Sorry, I didn't catch it." If it's an unusual name, he asks, "Excuse me, how do you spell it?"

During the conversation, he will take the trouble to remember the other party's name repeatedly several times.At the same time, in his mind, he connected the person's name with his face, demeanor, and appearance.

If this person is important to him, Napoleon III will expend energy.When he was alone, he would write the person's name on a piece of paper, read it carefully, memorize it, and then tear it up.In this way, his eyes see the same impression as his ears hear.

These are all time-consuming, but Emerson said: "Good manners are made by small sacrifices."

So, if you want people to like you, the third rule is:

You want to remember the name of everyone you come into contact with.

How to Cultivate an Elegant and Favorable Conversation
Recently, I was invited to a bridge party.For me, I don't know how to play bridge.As luck would have it, there was another pretty lady who couldn't play bridge either!She knew that I had been Thomas's personal manager for a while before he went into radio.At that time, Thomas was traveling all over Europe. During that trip, I helped Thomas record what he saw and heard along the way.Knowing who I am, the pretty lady immediately said, "Mr. Carnegie, can you please tell me which places of interest and historic sites you have visited and the strange scenery in them?"

We sat next to each other on a couch, and she went on to mention that she and her husband had recently traveled to Africa. "Africa!" I continued: "That's so interesting. I always want to go to Africa once, but I have never been to other places in Africa except for a 24-hour stay in Algiers. Have you ever been to a place worthy of your nostalgia? . . . how lucky that is, I envy you, can you tell me about Africa?"

During that conversation, we talked for 45 minutes, and she stopped asking me where I had been or what I had seen.She no longer talked about my travels, what she needed was an attentive listener so that she could expand her "self" and tell about the places she had been.

Is this what makes her different and special?No, many people are like her.

I recently met a well-known botanist at a party given by the New York publisher "Grinber."I have never been in contact with a scholar of botany, and I find his words very attractive.I was mesmerized, sitting in a chair and listening to him talk about marijuana, the great botanist Pubong, and indoor gardening, and he told me amazing facts about potatoes.Later, when talking about my own small indoor garden, he very enthusiastically told me how to solve several problems that I needed to solve.

There were a dozen other guests at the banquet, but I ignored everyone else and talked for hours with the botanist.

When it was midnight and I said goodbye to everyone, the botanist paid me a huge compliment in front of his master, saying I was "extremely motivating"... Finally, I was - funniest, most chatty, with "elegant speech" "people.

Elegant conversation?I?I know I'm barely talking!If I did not change what we have just said, I would not be able to, even if I wanted to, because I know so little about botany.

But I know for myself that I have done so... that is because I have listened carefully and quietly.I listened quietly and attentively, and found that I was really interested in what he said, and he felt the same way, so I naturally pleased him.That kind of "quiet listening" is an expression of our respect and compliment to anyone.Woodford once said in his book "Love in a Stranger Land": Few people can refuse to accept the flattery involved in that attentive attention.

I told the botanist that I was entertained and guided by him; I wished to have his wealth of learning--I really hoped so.I told him that I wished to go for walks in the fields with him, and that I wished to see him again.

Therefore, he thinks that I am a person who is good at talking, but in fact, I am just a person who is good at listening and encouraging him to talk.

Talk about a successful business, what is the secret?I followed what that honest scholar, Eliot, said, "There is no secret secret to a successful business transaction. Listen attentively to the person who is speaking to you. That is the most important thing. There is nothing more important than this!"

That's obvious, isn't it?You don't need to spend 4 years studying at Harvard University for this question.But we all know that there are many businessmen who rent luxurious storefronts, reduce the purchase cost, display new and beautiful windows, and spend huge advertising expenses, but they hire shop assistants who are unwilling to listen to customers.Those clerks, who cut off the customer, contradict the customer, and irritate the customer, seem to be reconciled to driving the customer out of the door!
Hooton once had such an experience, and he told the story in my workshop.

He bought an outfit at a department store in Newark, New Jersey, just offshore.This suit is such a disappointment to wear, the top fades and the shirt collars are blackened.

He took the suit back to the department store, found the clerk with whom he was dealing, and told him what happened.He "told" the clerk what happened in detail?No, not at all.He wanted to tell the clerk what happened, but he couldn't do it. What he wanted to say was cut off by the clerk who seemed to be a bit eloquent.

The clerk retorted: "We have sold thousands of sets of this kind of clothes. This is the first time someone has come to pick on us." This is what the clerk said, and the voice was surprisingly loud. That is: "You are lying, do you think we can be bullied? Huh! I will show you some color!"

When the debate was raging, another clerk intervened. The clerk said: "All black clothes will fade a little at first. It's about the material!
"At that time, my stomach was full of anger." Mr. Hooton recounted his experience: "The first clerk, doubted my honesty. The second clerk, suggested that I bought second-rate goods. I was annoyed Got up, and when I was about to scold them, the person in charge of that department store came over."

"The person in charge seemed to know his job. He made a complete change in my attitude. He turned an annoyed person into a satisfied customer. How did he do it? He broke the situation into three steps:
First, he asked me to tell my story from beginning to end, while he listened quietly without interjecting a word.

Second, when I finished those words, the two clerks were going to start arguing with me again.But the person in charge argued with them from my point of view.He said my shirt collar was obviously contaminated by the suit.He insisted that something that doesn't satisfy customers shouldn't be sold.

Third, he admitted that he had no idea that the suit was so bad, and said to me frankly: "What do you think I should do with this suit, just tell me, I can do exactly what you want."

Minutes ago, I wanted to return this nasty outfit, but now I respond with this: "I can take your advice, I just want to know if the discoloration is temporary. Or is there anything you can do, It can keep the suit from fading."

He advised me to take the suit home and wear it for a week and see how it goes!He said: "If you are still not satisfied at that time, you can exchange it for a satisfactory one. We are very sorry for adding to your troubles."

Hooton left the department store satisfied, and his confidence in the department store was restored after a week without any problems with the suit.

No wonder that gentleman is in charge of that department store. As for the clerks, not only will they stay in the position of "clerks" for life, it is best to relegate them to the packaging department and never see customers.

The most critical person, the fiercest critic, will often soften before a patient, sympathetic listener.The listener must have extraordinary composure, he must listen when the provocateur opens his mouth like a serpent.

There is such an example:
A few years ago, the New York Telephone Company had one of the most vicious and unreasonable customers who scolded the operator in the meanest terms.He later pointed out that the phone company had created fake bills, so he refused to pay.At the same time, he has to vote for the book and newspaper, and he has to file a complaint with the Public Service Commission... This client has several lawsuits against the telephone company.

Finally, the phone company sent one of its most experienced "mediators" to visit the unreasonable customer.When the "mediator" gets there, he just listens... and lets the contentious old gentleman vent his grievances. The "mediator" replied with a short "Yes! Yes!" and expressed sympathy for his grievances.

The phone company "mediator" who came to our workshop described the situation: "He continued to rant loudly and loudly. I listened quietly for about 3 hours—then I went to him again and listened again. He didn't finish his whining. I interviewed him four times. By the end of the fourth interview, I had become a basic member of an organization he started, which he called the Telephone Users' Protection Society, and I am still with it I'm a member here, but as far as I know, I'm the only one there other than this old gentleman.

During this interview, I still listened quietly, and I listened to every reason he gave with sympathy.According to him, no one at the phone company had ever spoken to him like this, and his attitude towards me gradually became friendly.In the first three times, I didn't say a word about what I wanted from him. On the fourth time, I closed the case entirely.He paid all his bills and for the first time in his past troubles with the phone company he has withdrawn his complaint against the 'Public Service Commission'. "

(End of this chapter)