College entrance examination full score composition classification Daquan

Chapter 13 Swift Weight Loss (1)
(2006 Jiangxi volume)

composition test questions
Read the following text and write a composition as required.

Like many animals, swifts also spent their childhood in a comfortable nest, and the careful care of their parents made them grow chubby.Interestingly, swifts also lose weight before leaving the nest for the first time: food intake is controlled, and exercise (wing flapping, push-ups) is performed at the same time.After losing weight, they can spread their wings and fly.

Please write an article on the topic "Swift Weight Loss".

[Notice]

The content to be written must be within the scope of the topic, with a self-determined concept, a free choice of style, and a self-drawn title, no less than 800 words, and no plagiarism.

Question Analysis
The 2006 Jiangxi composition topic inherited the tradition of topic composition in recent years. It was a topic composition triggered by a fable of "Swift Weight Loss". It is a metaphorical topic composition. Compared with the topic composition "face" in Jiangxi Province in 2005, The biggest feature is that on the basis of inheritance, the difficulty of reviewing questions has been increased, the examination of the thinking quality of candidates has been strengthened, and the selection function has been highlighted.The materials for the composition questions are common and "interesting". Candidates should feel a sense of pleasure after reading the materials, and it is relatively easy to learn.There are three sentences in the material of this composition question. The first sentence is about Swift’s parents. Losing weight is hard and requires perseverance; the third sentence talks about the results of Swift losing weight, "spreading its wings and flying" heralds a bright future.The seemingly simple three sentences imply the entry point of conception.In addition, the requirements remind candidates that they can choose their own genre. Candidates can write argumentative essays, essays, narratives, poems, etc. However, due to the implicit meaning of the topic, candidates should clearly express their views in the composition to show the accuracy of the intention, so Argumentative prose, which not only has the characteristics of clear viewpoints, but also is suitable for displaying the candidate's language and literary talents, is the preferred style of writing that can get high marks.

Writing Ideas Tips
Candidates are not limited by time and space in the selection of ideas and materials. When writing the composition question of "Swift to lose weight", as long as the symbolic meaning of "Swift to lose weight" is clarified (it can symbolize will, training, giving up, etc.), then in the selection of ideas and materials Then you can gallop your literary thinking, ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, and conceive and write without restraint.But the selection of materials should be based on the principle of "seeing the big from the small", and the composition that understands the philosophy of life from one thing to another, and grasps the laws of nature in every movement and stillness can be called a superior work.

Full score sample essay
Unload the package, let your mind fly

(a candidate from Jiangxi)

Only by losing weight can swifts spread their wings and fly high; only by losing weight can they fly to the peak of human nature.

--Inscription

The yellow sand is long, the camel bells are ringing, and the deserted wasteland is full of sand camels chasing the sunset. Don't be afraid of the sand sea or the new wind. No matter how big the dust is, it can't stop Zhaojun from walking, because her heart has no longer. Fear and burden, the heart has already faced the desert.Because the burden in her heart was unloaded, history made Zhaojun's loyalty and stamina, and her heart also flew to the commanding heights of human nature.

The cold wind is blowing, the grass is overgrown, and in the field where everything is dying, the grass kisses the earth. Don't be afraid of withering and yellowing, and don't be afraid of the severe cold, just because you cherish a ray of spring breeze in your heart. The 18 years of hard work and the lonely loneliness did not wipe out Su Wu's patriotic will and national consciousness. The loyalty of the big man has already crossed the Great Wall and flew to the Central Plains.So behind his name is the scar of history, and on the front of his name is the medal of the nation.

"The greatest mission of human beings is to make wings, and the greatest success is to fly." When the burden of the soul clamps down on my heart, flying becomes an illusory bubble, and at most there is only a dream sleeping lightly in the air.To fly higher and travel farther, you must first unload the package and let the mind lose weight, and the wings of the soul will allow you to travel in the air and in the world.

"Ugly / seals my face / but keeps the beauty in my heart / cruel / binds my body / spreads kindness to the world / I am ugly / but I am gentle / I am sincere / the waves of love / in my heart The sea is churning." Quasimodo did not feel inferior because of his ugliness, but lightly unloaded the burden of his heart, sprayed the world with the breeze, and spread the rain of love on the world.

Gu Cheng once said: "I want to paint windows all over the ground, so that all eyes that are used to the dark night will get used to the light." In fact, Gu Cheng wants to open the windows of the soul, remove the hustle and bustle of the world, and let the soul that lives outside How about the long-awaited heart galloping in the blue sky, white clouds, wind and clouds, and the otherworldly state of ecstasy?
On the other hand, modern people who travel in a hurry and ignore it today, when the burden of vanity oppresses the human heart, the soul begins to become heavy, and human feelings become numb.Everyone desires to be successful, but not everyone can be successful. If you can't unload your mind, then success will become an unattainable dream.

It doesn't lie in the wasteland, tomorrow can become an oasis;
It does not lie in the voice of the heart, tomorrow can become a poem;
It's not about looking forward to, tomorrow will be as bright as the sun.

As long as we gently unpack our hearts and show a light heart, who can prove that we are just stars and will never grow into the sun.Success is never just the cloak of vanity and fame, it also has a pair of wings that allow the heart to fly.

score review
Cut into the topic with testimonials, discuss each matter, and be clear.The backs of historical figures and the figures of real people in the world confirm each other, enriching the point of view.The anatomy of modern people suppressed by vanity reflects the author's strong sense of the times, and the article is also vivid.The point of view sentence elaborates the philosophy very incisively.

classic case
Su Wu, Quasimodo, Gu Cheng

Reflections on "Swift Weight Loss"

(a candidate from Jiangxi)

Heaven will send a great mission to the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their will, exhaust their muscles and bones, starve their skin and skin, and empty their bodies.

--Inscription

Maybe everyone has read such a story.Before the butterfly is born, it stays in a cocoon. After the butterfly wakes up, it must struggle to break through the cocoon, and then it can become a beautiful butterfly, dancing in the air.Just when the butterfly was breaking out of its cocoon, a passer-by saw him. He couldn't bear to see the butterfly crawling out so hard, so he broke the cocoon so that the butterfly could climb out more smoothly, but he didn't expect the butterfly to fly out again. I can't get up.It turns out that the reason for the butterfly to break out of the cocoon is to make its wings more powerful with blood, and to prepare for its ability to fly in the future.And that person broke this rule, making the butterfly break out of the cocoon without his own efforts, thus making the butterfly lose the opportunity to fly.

From this we can see that the cocoon breaking of a butterfly is the same as the weight loss of a swift before it spreads its wings and flies, both of which are trials for its future flight.Only by withstood the test of these tribulations, the survival of the fittest, can become the strong in life.

This is true for animals, let alone us humans? "Heaven will send a great mission to the people of Sri Lanka, and they must first suffer from their will, their muscles and bones, their bodies and skins, and their bodies." Whenever he was experiencing tribulations and difficulties, he would always recite these words to encourage himself. It was with this spirit that he overcame difficulties and tribulations and became one of the "Four Talented Scholars in the Late Ming Dynasty" One of them has become a role model for thousands of scholars through the ages.

God is fair, it has its own laws, and it will not let anyone get it too easily.So people don't have any complaints about your situation, because if you are accepting hardships now, then congratulations, as long as you persevere, there will be rich rewards.

As a repeat student, today I am sitting in the examination room of the college entrance examination again. The scene of last year and today is still deeply imprinted in my mind, and I can't let it go. The failure of last year is engraved in my heart.After this year's hard work, I have become more mature than before. Now I don't think that the past year is the injustice of God to me. On the contrary, it is a test for me, whether I can pass it. test.And this time the college entrance examination is another test for me!
"Should I put down the heavy shell and find out where is the blue sky... I want to climb up step by step, and fly forward on the blade at the highest point. The small sky has big dreams. One day, I will will have my day."

--postscript

score review
The article is sincere in emotion, prominent in the center, closely related to the topic and the meaning of the material, fluent in language, clear in thinking, and positive in conception. It is a standard and excellent argumentative essay.The full text begins with a story and ends with its own experience. It can be opened and closed freely, and the center is prominent.The use of inscriptions and postscripts plays a role in pointing out the idea of ​​the article and putting the finishing touch on it.

Through it, life is magnificent
(a candidate from Jiangxi)

The heat of summer scorched the earth, and unknowingly, there were more people swimming on the beach.Looking into the distance, a few children seemed to be searching for something, and I walked over with curiosity, only to realize that they were looking for pearls...

(End of this chapter)