smart girl love tips

Chapter 8 A Smart Girl Knows How to Properly Love (1)
If you are not happy, you must say it

When two people with different life backgrounds are together, conflicts are inevitable. If you are unhappy, you must speak up.Only in this way can the contradiction be eliminated in the bud.

After all, everyone is an independent individual with an independent personality and persistence.Because of this, everyone will behave differently, and be uniquely discovered and valued in the vast crowd.If you are a person without personality, it will be easy to be ignored by the world.

At the beginning of the relationship, both of them were exploring each other's personality, life attitude, and living habits.Although we always say verbally, "Love is to tolerate everything about the other person", such aimless tolerance can only be achieved during the passionate love period and blind love.

We can't expect the other party to have a complete grasp of us from the beginning and know our various preferences.Because of this part, it takes time and communication to understand.The process of dating is the process of groping for each other.If you find that the other party has advantages that you like, you should praise him with all your strength, and if you find that the other party has shortcomings that you cannot accept, you should also communicate rationally.This is an important goal of dating.

Let the other party know that it doesn't have to be accepted by the other party.Maybe the other person accepts it, maybe it doesn't, but in any case, you need to speak your mind.Tell your unhappy things directly or tactfully, and let the other party try to accept or try to get along with you in harmony.

A lot of relationships start out great, but never end.Some people say that this is "combination because of misunderstanding, separation because of understanding".In fact, this kind of regret does not need to exist, as long as you express yourself completely when you are passionately in love, and try your best to adjust your pace while the other party is still hot.

Even if the love will be overwhelmed, in order to ensure the long-term relationship, we can't blindly accept all the unhappiness in getting along.Say all the unhappy things, like you don't like drinking coffee, you don't like shopping...it doesn't matter, the important thing is that you must say it.

Don't insist on putting on a smile every time you are obviously uncomfortable on a date, so as to maintain a good atmosphere on the date.If you do this, you may wait until the love period is over, all the annoying things become more annoying, and even people become annoying, then you can only go to break up.

Speak it out, no matter how happy the other party is, see how the other party handles it. If he handles it by evading or ignoring it, then you can judge the score of the date in your heart; And improve, then even if you may encounter greater disagreements in the future, you may start from this model and deal with them one by one.

In the end, there will be very few fights between you, because you have figured out how to deal with this disagreement with each other from the beginning of your relationship.

Therefore, in love, we must keep some of our own ideas, whether it is advantages or disadvantages, everyone has them, we don’t have to rush to change something for the other party, because maybe the shortcoming we think is just what the other party appreciates of cuteness.But we have a responsibility to let the other person know what we like or don't like, what we accept or don't accept.

Lovers must love themselves first

Some people will lose their minds in front of love, and some people will be timid in front of love.Some people say that girls in love are silly girls.If you are smart enough, you must get out of this spell.You know, love yourself first.Only those who love themselves can be loved by others.

Girl, whether you are a swan or an ugly duckling, only by loving yourself first can you be qualified to be loved by others.Every girl is a landscape and deserves her own love and sky.Loneliness is also a kind of enjoyment when you can't wait for someone you can love. If you make a cup of coffee for yourself, you will also get mellow warmth.

Believe that he holds your hand affectionately and says "I love you", but you must also believe that this "I love you" has a shelf life, the premise is that you must use it well before the deadline.Otherwise, eating expired food will cause diarrhea in light cases, and it may leave sequelae in the body.

Of course, the limited period of this "I love you" may be longer than the blooming time of a flower, but young compatriots, we still have to believe in the poem: If there are flowers that should be folded, then they must be folded, and there is no waiting for flowers to be empty. Broken branches.

When you are over 25 years old, don't be moved by the craziness and obsession unique to those young little brothers.

Because of his daily commute to and from get off work, pure and frank greetings, or running all over the shops in the middle of the night just because you want something to eat, all these actions touched your lonely heart and made you feel the warmth that you have not seen for a long time.Then, slowly start to convince yourself that age is not a problem, there is no gap in thinking, and wealth can bring you closer.

If you don’t want to look in the mirror unkempt when you’re old, lament in vain to make wedding dresses for others, and watch the man you trained in the past become the gentle and considerate husband of some young girl, then you’d better Don't try this kind of game without any safety factor subjectively and objectively.

Unless you are really a "thriller", otherwise, you would rather be an ordinary "marriage fanatic" to be honest.

When you're over 25, don't get entangled with married men.A married rich man, in addition to having the characteristics of a master in love, he can also do both at home and outside. He is an absolute good husband and father at home, and an absolute good lover in front of you.At the same time, it is their housekeeping skill to show courteousness to more than a few beautiful girls.

A smart girl would rather choose to wait and see from afar than to fly moths to the flame.

Smart girls never abuse their feelings.They understand that love is a battle between two people, which requires not only "wholehearted" devotion, but also "wisdom" participation.

Wisdom one: understand that "you should be 100% responsible for yourself"; trust that "you have the ability to take care of your own happiness and happiness in life"; promise "not to give up the control of your own happiness and happiness in life to others".

Wisdom [-]: Actively grow yourself, build self-confidence, plan your career well, and control your life and choices.

If you love him, don't let the love overflow, please ask first: "Do I love myself?"

don't love so much

In life, we often encounter such things. Every once in a while, a friend will cry to you: "Why? I treat him so well and pay so much for him, but he still wants to leave me in the end?" At this time you Ask the complainer, can you stop being so nice to him?She said: "I can't do it, I love him more than I love myself." Well, we have seen the crux of the problem, how much vitality will her love have for a person who doesn't even love herself ?
A person who does not love himself is not qualified to love others!Because that kind of "love" has no quality, no connotation, no depth!The person you "love" will eventually be suffocated by "love" or run away!

After you see him and your heart beats at the first sight, when you can't restrain yourself and move forward, you must take it easy, you must leave room for yourself to retreat, and you must not open up everything about yourself to you. People who know very well, or have not opened the door to you.Girls, don't love so much just yet.

In the era of "handsome men" everywhere, really, every girl looks different.After being overwhelmed and dazzled, it is tiredness, numbness, short circuit of feeling, and powerlessness.Tao Tao almost misunderstood her friends. During the party, the male companions she brought changed every now and then, thinking that she was playing tricks.In fact, she couldn't fix a complete love in one person.Whenever it develops to a certain level, as soon as the freshness wears off, she loses interest, and the feeling cannot go deep, and then it stops.She herself was also very confused, not because she was unwilling to use her heart, but because she was powerless.

Girls fly in and out like butterflies, but they feel like everyone else.Even if there are men who are pleasing to the eye, she does not dare to indulge herself in love, that is, when things are not going well and the mood is depressed, she invites one of them out for a coffee, a meal, and a chat. .Every boyfriend's departure can't arouse her feeling of reluctance, at most it will be uncomfortable for a few days: the first day is painful, the second day is depressed, the third day buys back a large handful of potato chips, chews and swallows, until On the fourth day, everything was calm.

"If there are ten points in love, then you have to control yourself to only give five points. It is safe only if you can advance or retreat." Tao Tao said.In the eyes of others, she is a well-behaved girl.From time to time, Tao Tao has a good impression of the men she interacts with, but once she confirms that the other party is not worthy of carte blanche, she will carefully avoid the "minefield" and let the good feelings stay only on top of good feelings.A little bit of love, a little bit of love, is a filler for emotional emptiness. When people are particularly lonely, such piecemeal emotional support can also bring her some kind of comfort.

When you love someone, don't love so much at first.When you find him good enough for you to love, hold back on yourself too.A person who can really tempt you must be a person who thinks about you all the time, not a person who is asking for it all the time.

There is never the best candidate in love

"Weak water is three thousand, just take a scoop to drink. Two birds in the forest are worse than one bird in hand." Sometimes a partner is like a shoe. Whether it looks good or not is just for outsiders to see, but in fact the most important thing is It doesn't fit.A bad fit, no matter how good it is, will only bring you pain.

There was a man who wandered all over the world and insisted on finding the most perfect person to marry.Finally, Huangtian paid off, he found it.However, he still failed to get married.Because, the most perfect person told him that she is also looking for the most perfect person in her own mind!

"no one is perfect".Men and girls in the world always have various shortcomings, for example: the beautiful and handsome ones may have low education, the high-educated ones may not look as expected; something will happen...

As the translation master Fu Lei said: "The requirements for a lifelong partner should not be too harsh just like the requirements for life." A happy marriage must come from the correct positioning and prudent choice of each of us.So, don't pick and reject, don't expect the "best candidate", when you meet someone you like, just make the only choice decisively!Although he may not be the best compared with others, he is the most suitable for you. He is the piece of the puzzle that you accidentally lost. With him, your life is complete.

Throughout the ages, people have praised love and regarded it as sacred.But love is actually the most vulgar. It is equivalent to bidding. Everyone has a target in their hearts, and it is inconvenient to disclose it. It is called: the best candidate.

In order to find the best candidate in their hearts, some people have passed the age of marriage, but they are reluctant to step into the siege. They are quoted as: "If I get married now, how do I know whether there will be more in the future?" A good object appeared?"

It is undeniable that after getting married, there will definitely be better people.Talented people come out from generation to generation. Because of the progress of the times, the improvement of vision, and the familiarity with each other, they feel that their partners are not advancing but retreating.

But if you are unwilling to get married because you are afraid of regretting it, you have to wait, discover, worry, and give up repeatedly...wasting time in vain and ignoring a terrible fact-the newly discovered object is getting better and better, and your own conditions are getting better and better. Getting worse and getting older.

There are opportunities at any time in life, but don't throw away your happiness just to wait for the best candidate.Among the bustling crowd, only the person who cares about you the most, accommodates you the most, and loves you the most is your best candidate.

Untie love and you'll get more

The biggest misfortune of girls is to misunderstand men. They always think that being attached to him, caring about him, and protecting him is to love him.As everyone knows, many men don't want to be owned by girls, even if they think it's just a kind of concern for them at first, gradually, they will feel that this is a wall in their hearts, blocking them to death.So, of course, like being imprisoned in any kind of prison, they have only one thought—to escape.

1. Don't make me feel guilty

Guo Rui is a loyal, gentle and considerate man. He loves his girlfriend very much and has always taken care of her in every possible way. But now he has the idea of ​​breaking up with her from time to time.He said painfully: "Our relationship is very good, and there is no third party, but her love makes me feel too heavy." She would ask several times a day: "Do you really like me?" What's terrible is that she often uses details to measure the relationship between them. For example, if she asks her if she wants sugar in her coffee, she will immediately become sad, as if she knows him so well, but he is so indifferent to her. He didn't even notice whether there was sugar in it, which made him very guilty.

Generally, men think that love is not the whole of life. If you love too deeply, too selfishly, or too possessively, it will only make both parties feel exhausted and painful.

Girls should realize that loving someone is not to possess him. Healthy love should be natural and easy. Give a man more understanding and tolerance. He will cherish you more because of your wisdom, and you will be happy because of it .

2. Leave me alone for a while

Doudou's husband has always been depressed recently, and lost his former excitement and enthusiasm in front of her. When he came home, he either watched TV or immersed himself in playing video games. Doudou also ignored him when he talked to him. Are you unhappy?why you are not feeling happy?He just said lightly: "It's okay, just leave me alone." This made Doudou very unhappy, she felt sorry for her husband and didn't know what to do.

Men think: women are good at details, like to communicate, like to ask questions, and even like to dig into the dead end.Men, on the other hand, often feel that those are men's own affairs, and girls don't need to make a fuss to ask about them, because men's affairs must be handled by men.

Girls should realize that this is a kind of psychological decompression method for men-to hide their bodies in their own "caves" and face them alone.The reason why men hide themselves in "caves" instead of sharing and communicating with others is that they have an idea in their subconscious mind: they don't want to admit that they are weak and be pitied by others because of their weakness.So he hid in his "cave", like an ostrich buried its head in the sand.The purpose is to find a solution to the problem without asking people for help.At this time, a smart girl should learn to respond to all changes without changing, don't interfere with him too much, and let him find a solution to the problem by himself.

3. Don't take me too seriously

Yang Nan recently broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years.Asked the reason, he said that the girl looked at him too much, wherever he went, he really couldn't stand it anymore, so he broke up with her.He said: "I don't ask much, I just hope she can give me a little freedom. I hope that I can change into sportswear and play a game on weekends, instead of going to accompany her to those crowded supermarkets; I hope to be with my friends She can talk about the mountains without any worries, smoke and drink, instead of her staring at the side, not allowing me to do this, not allowing me to do that.”

Men believe that if you fall in love with a bird, please give it the freedom to fly, to sing, to the blue sky and the earth; to fall in love with a person, please give him a little freedom in living space and privacy. Freedom, give him the freedom of love.

Girls should realize that they should never try to bind others with their own love.If you love him, you must first learn to respect him, give him a little freedom in life and time, give him understanding and care, and let him feel your trust in him.

4. I will be back

Juanzi's boyfriend chased her hard for a whole year before Juanzi confirmed her relationship with him.However, recently, Juanzi feels that her boyfriend is gradually alienating her. Sometimes she doesn't see each other for a few days, and she doesn't make a phone call.But after not seeing her for a while, her boyfriend would be eager to see Juanzi again.

Men think that no matter how much they love their girlfriends, men still have their own dreams. Sometimes men are afraid of being too intimate and lose themselves, so they need to "defect" a little, but they will come back sooner or later.

What should the girl do?For men, the relationship between men and women in love seems to revisit the memory of the relationship between mother and child.Psychologically, the son has to go through an intimate "dependence period" and "rebellious period".First complete the need to be intimately connected with the mother, and then separate from the mother to show an independent self-space.This is the law of children's psychological growth.The same is true of the love process.When a man enters the role of love, he is subconsciously recovering the need for intimacy. When the intimacy is completed, life will instinctively want to escape the lover and find his own space.This is the psychological interpretation of men being hot before being cold and girls being cold before being hot. "Intimate defection" is a healthy behavior. To be his lover, one must be mentally prepared to accept his brief indifference and alienation.

love him and set him free

In the park, an old man sat on a bench, looking leisurely.

He comfortably smoked his pipe, sometimes greeted passers-by with a smile, and sometimes meditated alone.He has a rule: always come around 4:00 pm and leave around 5:00 pm.

"Why do you sit here for an hour every day?" A young man who lived nearby asked the old man curiously.

(End of this chapter)