love crazy entertainment life

Chapter 163 The Biography of Wu Dalang
Wake up the wood sound!Qin Feng looked back and forth at the passengers in the cabin, and immediately said with a smile:
"Injuries are most severe in late cool days, and the haggardness is unspeakable"

"Invite wine to break the intestines and get drunk for three cups, seek fragrance and startle dreams in the cold at five o'clock"

"The head of the hairpin and the phoenix Xieqing have tears, but I have no chance to spend the tea flowers"

"The lonely heart and the moon in a small building are as difficult as a hook and round"

A stunning opening poem came out of Qin Feng's mouth.

“Good! Awesome“

The tourists are all educated, and they can tell the difference between good and bad poems, and they immediately applauded when they heard this opening poem.

"Very good, well-deserved reputation, really talented, stand-up comedy has such a wonderful opening poem"

The applause subsided slightly, and Qin Feng bowed his hands to all the audience.

"Thank you for your encouragement, this is the beginning. It is said that during the heyday of the Song Dynasty, there was a great hero in Yanggu County, Shandong, named Wu Song and Wu Erlang"

"Hey! This pole is really far away, and it has all gone to the Song Dynasty!"

Hearing Qin Feng's opening, everyone was very surprised.

interesting!And listen to him!
"Why do you say that this is a great hero? Because a fierce tiger came out of Jingyanggang near Yanggu County, which injured countless people. The government and the people were helpless, so they had to hang red to fight the tiger."

When the passengers in the cabin heard this, they were immediately attracted, this is to fight a tiger!
Qin Feng patted the back of the chair beside him with one hand, raised his voice and said excitedly:

"In the end, it was this Wu Erlang who went to Jingyang Gang at night and killed the tiger with three punches. It was amazing! Yanggu County was a sensation. Hey, there is a tiger-fighting hero named Wu Song!"

"Hey! So awesome!"

Hearing this, the passengers couldn't help but think of the scene of Wu Song fighting the tiger, which is really amazing!
Qin Feng continued excitedly:
"The magistrate of the county is very happy. There are tigers here. It is inconvenient to come out and go in. The common people have time to go to Jingyanggang. Now it is done. It will remove the evil for the place. I am happy! At that time, Wu Song was appointed as the third of Yanggu County. Ban Liufang is the president of Dutong, known as Wudutong"

Among the passengers, some who knew history could not help but nod their heads when they heard what Qin Feng said. This kid is very rigorous and did not make up random things. At least the official position is indeed in line with the truth.

Not bad, keep listening!

Qin Feng raised his hand and pointed outward, explaining in detail:
"Crossing the street, riding a tall horse on the street, why are you walking on the street? Let the common people know that this is a hero who fights tigers. He rode a horse and walked half a circle along the second ring road."

"Hahaha"

The passengers all laughed heartily.

"It's ridiculous! Is there a second ring in Yanggu County? Do you think it's BJ?"

Liu Yan also covered her mouth and laughed, this guy is so funny!
Qin Feng stared up and looked up in admiration.

"The people are out, alas! Amazing! See the hero with your own eyes"

Then he lowered his head, pointed his hand down, and continued:

"There is a person in the crowd. My lord, he is not tall, only about 1.1 meters tall. This is when he is standing on tiptoe, and he is less than one meter tall when he is flat."

As Qin Feng spoke, he gestured for the height with his hands, which reached the waist.

"Hahaha"

Seeing Qin Feng's actions, everyone laughed lightly.

The image of a dwarf immediately appeared in everyone's mind following Qin Feng's gestures.

Qin Feng continued to explain:
"Who is it? This is Wu Song's brother, named Wu Dalang, three inches of bark, three inches like a human, seven points like a ghost, carpenter is hard to death, painter is angry to death, Lu Ban is anxious to death, hanging wires on all sides, spinning It’s so shabby without a quack!”

"Hahaha"

There was another burst of laughter.

With the detailed description of Qin Feng, the image of Wu Dalang became more and more concrete in everyone's minds, it is indeed too thin!
At the same time, everyone has a better understanding of Qin Feng's poisonous mouth. Is there anyone who describes people like this?It's so vicious!

"Hey!"

Qin Feng sighed, and then said:

"If you want to talk about this Wu Dalang, although he looks bad, he has a kind heart and is a good man. There is no reward for a good man. Why? It depends on his wife. Who is it? Pan Jinlian.

Big beauty, beautiful, huh!It’s not so beautiful anymore, it’s so white, it’s wearing a lot of hairpins and rings, here’s a chain of nine, here’s a dragon and phoenix hairpin, here’s a peony, here’s a mandarin duck flower, two jujubes are just cut Oh, there is no such good-looking one! "

As he spoke, he kept gesticulating with his hands on his head, which was very vivid and specific.

"Hahaha:

The passengers laughed again.

This bastard's mouth is too damaged, even describing a beautiful woman doesn't forget to lose it!
Qin Feng spread his hands and said with a questioning face:
"You may ask, why did such a beautiful woman marry Wuhan University? There is no way. At the beginning, there was a rich man here, a local entrepreneur named Zhang Dahu, who had money in his family. He fell in love with Pan Jinlian. Beautiful! Pan Jinlian is their maid. The old man always wants to take her as his [-]th concubine."

"Hahaha"

The passengers laughed again.

"Big entrepreneur, you really know how to use words!"

Several entrepreneurs in the business class were a little dumbfounded when they heard this.

"This is the image of our entrepreneur! Aunt Baifang! That's not a ****!"

Qin Feng said regretfully:
"But my own wife doesn't like it. This wife is jealous, jealous of the pot, and the old man is used to make the bed and quilt at home. The maids must be disabled, and there is no problem, but there is only one Pan Jinlian left.

The wife said this is not good, let's find someone. If you find it, who are you looking for?Find a local matchmaker.It is said that she can go to Yanggu County to choose, and whoever is the poorest will betroth her to him.

Let's choose, this competition, Uncle Wu is the champion, he is shabby, no one is as ugly as him, so marry Pan Jinlian to him"

Qin Feng gave a thumbs up as he spoke, with a smug expression on his face.

"Hahaha"

The passengers burst into laughter.

What is there to be proud of?You give people a thumbs up, you are really wicked and smoldering!
Hearing this, everyone became more and more interested in this stand-up comedy.

Many people have only heard cross talk before, and few people have heard stand-up. They never thought it would be so interesting!
The most important thing is that Qin Feng's jokes are novel!No one has heard of this story, let alone know this story. When they hear it now, they are immediately attracted!

Seeing the more and more excited expressions of the passengers, Qin Feng was also very happy. Obviously, this stand-up comic has caught everyone's ears.

It is inevitable to think about it, this is a story reborn from the four great classics of the previous life, although I have made some changes, but it does not affect the integrity of the story, there is no doubt that it is wonderful!Can it be attractive?
He smiled softly and continued to perform:

"Come on, the wedding night, Pan Jinlian took a look, oops! Living with such a person for the rest of my life, I'm going to kill myself.

But there is no way, both parents are dead and I am left alone. If you don’t follow him, who will you live with? Every day, Pan Jinlian meets with her family to make cakes, and Uncle Wu picks and sells them.”

When the passengers in the cabin heard this, they all began to feel sorry for Pan Jinlian. The fate was indeed too tragic.

Especially those female passengers were very sympathetic to Pan Jinlian.

Qin Feng was shocked and said with a thumbs up:
"Well! Wu Song came back and walked into the house. Pan Jinlian was dumbfounded at the time. When she saw Wu Song, she was shocked, as if she was pouring cold water and holding ice in her arms. Oh! It's so beautiful!

You said that they are both brothers, one like this is a hero; the other like that is a cake seller.Why is the formula different for brothers who are the same compatriots?If I can be with Wu Song, I will spend my whole life in vain."

During this passage, Qin Feng gestured with his hands one high and one low, showing the comparison between Wu Song and Wuhan University very vividly.

Coupled with the vivid language, everyone immediately thought of such a picture.

A peerless beauty, standing in front of a masculine and mighty hero of the world, a three-inch tree bark, but this three-inch man is the husband of the peerless beauty.

Immediately, everyone felt that the world is so unfair. A beautiful woman should be matched with a hero. Why did she marry a three-inch man?

And hearing Qin Feng's last words, everyone was even more surprised.

"Wouldn't my brother-in-law and sister-in-law have sex? That would be too dirty, and it would damage Wu Song's heroic image!"

With such doubts, everyone stared at Qin Feng, eagerly waiting for the next article.

The climax is rising!

"One day, when it was snowing heavily, Wu Dalang went out to sell goods but didn't come back. Wu Erlang came back, and his uncle and sister-in-law sat and drank wine. Pan Jinlian poured a glass of wine, took a sip, handed it to Wu Song, and said: Uncle, if you want to, drink up my glass of leftover wine.

Wu Song was in a hurry at that time, ah!This can't be done, this can't be done, because you are my sister-in-law, not to mention that it is bad morals for you to do this.

I am a very upright person, I am a pure person, I am a person who is out of vulgar taste.It can’t be like this, it’s not difficult for one person to do a good deed, what’s difficult is to do good deeds for a lifetime.”

Qin Feng pressed his chest and said the following sentences solemnly, just like talking about himself.

"Hahaha"

Everyone started to burst into laughter.

"What is it with what? Can it match?"

"I'm laughing to death. This kid's brain circuit is definitely different from normal people. A scene where a sister-in-law hooks up with a brother-in-law is disturbed by his last few sentences, and it completely changes the taste. I don't know how he thought of this?"

"Didn't you see it? The last few sentences of this kid seem to be praising himself!"

"It's too thick-skinned, such words can be used to boast, it's almost invincible"

……

"cluck"

Liu Yan also kept laughing.

She understands Qin Feng too well. In the last paragraph, he is not only praising Wu Song in cross talk, but also praising himself in disguise!
The laughter fell slightly, and Qin Feng immediately raised an arm and shouted:

"Pan Jinlian burst into tears: learn from Wu Song!"

"Hahaha"

There was another burst of laughter.

"babble----!"

A loud hiss resounded throughout the cabin.

Everyone was so amused, it was really exciting!
Qin Feng himself laughed a few times there, then raised his hand and pointed outward, and continued to perform:

"At that time Wu Song kicked the door and left, and Pan Jinlian sat there crying. After a while, Uncle Wu came back from get off work and said what happened to you? Why are you crying like this?

Pan Jinlian was very angry, but she couldn't say: I seduce your brother, he will not always be happy, you can find a way."

"Hahaha"

The laughter kept ringing.

"You can't say that. Your brother is teasing me! Alas! Uncle Wu shook his head, no, it's impossible! I know my brother, he is not that person. Having said that, from now on, Pan Jinlian will hate you Go to Wusong"

"Is that right? A hero should be like this. But Pan Jinlian is really hateful. How can she seduce my uncle!"

Hearing this, the passengers gradually developed a sense of hatred against the enemy and began to sympathize with Wuhan University.

At this time, Pan Jinlian had already been labeled as skittish.

Qin Feng raised his hand and pointed out.

"A few days later, Yanggu County was on business, and Wu Song was sent away, leaving only Wu Dalang and Pan Jinlian at home."

"Okay! This is the rhythm of an accident!"

Every passenger could hear the smell, obviously something big was going to happen on Pan Jinlian's side!
　Thank you reader idiot Li Mu for your reward, thank you for your monthly ticket recommendation, I hope you will continue to support this book
　　
　
(End of this chapter)