Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 11 A man's mind, a smart woman must be able to "guess" (3)
Under what circumstances a man mentions his family is closely related to his attitude towards his family and his attitude towards life.Some men are amiable and gentle in front of outsiders, but lose their temper easily in front of their families, especially in front of their wives. When they are not going well at work or get angry, they pass these bad emotions on to their family members, causing physical and mental damage to the family members.They think that whether they like it or not outside, they have to put on a mask and swallow their anger. After finally returning home, they can finally breathe a sigh of relief.They will think that their family members should accept all their negative emotions and let them vent. If their family members complain a little, they will feel that their family members do not understand them, and they will feel resentful towards their family members. Don't mention your family to others.

It should be noted that family and work are equally important. Only those men who value family can have a happy family life and good work performance.As a smart woman, if you want to walk into a man's inner world and see if he has a bright future, you must first look at his attitude towards his family.

I can hear some "doorway" from the words on the scene

Men are hypocritical, so they like to talk about scenes. If you can't hear their true intentions from their words, you may often misinterpret their meanings and put yourself in a passive position.For example, a stingy male colleague often throws out social rhetoric and polite invitations: "Oh, I will treat everyone to dinner someday!" If you really have high hopes for this meal, you will be disappointed in the end.If you keep reminding him, he will either play haha ​​with you or treat you coldly.In fact, such occasional words contrary to the original intention of men are often because of inner anxiety and fear, in order to seek self-comfort, so they repeat it again and again, and follow the rules.

However, sometimes scene talk is also a kind of survival wisdom. Not only men need to speak, but we women should also be able to speak.It's not a sin, it's not a deceit, it's a necessity.But the premise is that only if you understand their scene words, can you make full use of them, and everyone will be happy in the end, otherwise you will often be hurt by the scene words.

After graduating, Zhang Li was teaching in a middle school in other places. She had been looking for an opportunity to transfer back to the city. One day, a good friend of hers told her that the No. [-] Middle School in the city was just short of a Chinese teacher, and she wanted to see if she could be transferred back.Zhang Lidong inquired west and inquired, and really found out that there was a distant relative who worked in the Municipal Education Bureau. relative.

He looked quite gentle, as expected from the cultural department, and he was also very enthusiastic about Zhang Li. He patted his chest face to face and said, "No problem!" As soon as Zhang Li heard this, she happily went back to wait for the news. Months passed, and there was no news at all. I called and was either absent or in a meeting.Later that friend told her that that position had already been taken by someone else.Upon hearing this, Zhang Li said very angrily, "You should have said earlier that you are not capable. I can think of other ways. This is not harming me!" Li believed it was true.

Some of the men's scenes are true, while others are far from the truth.It sounds unreal, but as long as it is not too far-fetched, nine out of ten listeners will be happy.For example, "I will do my best to help", "If you have any questions, just come to me", etc. Men often say these words, because they feel that it would be embarrassing to refuse others in person, so they use polite words to send them away first, and help if they can. Help, if you can't help or don't want to help, then find a reason.

Therefore, you can only hold back when a man pats his chest and agrees, lest the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.You can only believe it tentatively, because changes in human feelings cannot be predicted, and since you can't measure his sincerity, you have to prepare for the worst first.It is not difficult to know whether a man is talking about the scene. Afterwards, check several times. If the other party's words are flickering, false and submissive, or avoid seeing the topic, then the other party is talking about the scene.

In short, we must keep a clear head when we talk about men's scenes, otherwise it may spoil the big things.When it comes to praise, agreement or flattery, you should also remain calm and objective. Don't overjoy yourself because of a man's two sentences, which will affect your self-evaluation.Calm down, you can see what the other party is thinking.

Drunk man on phone craves care
I often encounter such a situation in life, a few friends go to dinner together, there are men and women, after the meal, there will always be one or two men who make phone calls with the strength of alcohol, listen carefully, what they say is all mess Out of tune.Of course, sometimes we ourselves will receive such inexplicable calls, and you will understand after a few sentences that he may have been drinking.

So, why do some men go on the phone when they're drunk?There is some kind of deep-seated psychological appeal of men hidden in it.After a man is drunk, he often thinks that he has remembered an extremely important matter, so he calls others, but the person who answers the phone will always be dumbfounded by his so-called reasons, especially when he receives the call in the middle of the night. It's gnashing your teeth in anger.

In fact, the mentality of the drunk man has been divorced from reality, and his thinking is very different from that of the person who answered the phone. Of course, the two of them are not speculating.If you think that since the other party is already drunk, you can just pass him by with a few perfunctory words (this is usually how ordinary people deal with it), you may hurt him.

Usually, men live in diverse organizations or groups, and no matter what they do, they will be subject to various restrictions, so their inner depression will continue to accumulate. Only when they are drunk, they dare to indulge themselves and take the opportunity to Vent your dissatisfaction.And most of their rude behaviors are aimed at their closest friends.

It is a "very common sense behavior" for a man to call while drunk, because they no longer have the common sense that people should have when interacting with others.For example, at one or two o'clock in the middle of the night, call the other party regardless of other people's rest time, but what the other party hears is only the shouting of a drunk, or the sound of loud music mixed with it. "I'm drinking now, come here right away, I'll wait until you come to accompany me."

When you receive this kind of call, even if you ignore it and hang up, the other party will call again and say: "You are so mean, you don't care about your friends at all!" Words, when added to the loud, drunken clutter on the phone, add to the moodiness.

Careful analysis of the actions of these men reveals that they are lonely and need the care of others.They hope to interact and communicate with more people so as to eliminate their dissatisfaction.Therefore, when you meet this kind of man, and he is also your good friend, don’t be annoyed by his rudeness, and make some extreme behaviors, which may make him reject you from the bottom of his heart, and even get along with you. You disown.You might as well listen to it with a playful attitude like listening to a story. As the saying goes, "Speak the truth after drinking", maybe you can deepen your understanding of him from it.Even if it's all unreasonable words, it can let him vent his depression to a certain extent. When he wakes up, he may not say anything on the surface, but deep down he must be grateful to you and regard you as a confidant.

three.Don't be a "simple girl", stick a "balloon" of lies that destroys men

It is natural for men to lie, we have no way to stop them, but we have ways not to be deceived.However, you have to learn a few tricks to see through a man's lies.If a man's lie is like a big balloon, then these techniques are like tiny needles, one needle at a time, and bang—it bursts.fun, right?Come and learn now!

man why are you lying
Aaron Pease, a well-known Australian gender psychologist, once wrote a book called "Why Men Love to Lie and Women Love to Cry", which is devoted to discussing men's lies and women's tears. It can be seen that lying has become a reality in many people's minds. part of man's nature.The ancients said: "Soldiers come to block, water comes to cover up." Men like to lie, women should have the ability to see through lies.Among them, the first step is that we have to figure out why men lie.

Specifically, men may lie for the following reasons:
1. To protect oneself
Everyone is defensive, men especially, because they are afraid of losing face.If they are late for work due to oversleeping, they will say that there is a traffic jam on the road; even if it is nothing to do with women, they will tell their wives that they are eating with colleagues; even when they were naughty when they were young, they would blame others for fear of being beaten, etc. .In fact, these are protecting themselves.

2. For grandstanding
Men have a tendency to be grandstanding. They hope to win the attention of others, so they always like to brag.For example, some men do not have a girlfriend, but they lie that they have one; things that are obviously impossible, they lie that they can be easily done, just like the man played by Guo Donglin in the sketch "Speak Up".The reason why they do this is entirely out of the need to be prominent in front of others, to attract the attention of others, and to not want others to think that they are stupid.

3. In order to obtain benefits
Some men lie for their own benefit. This refers to direct material interests, such as false sales. Don't look at those men who are all in suits and shoes, and they don't even bat an eye when they tell a lie.They do this entirely to obtain certain benefits, and they do not hesitate to use exaggerated words to beautify and promote their products.Generally speaking, this kind of men are very thick-skinned, even if their lies are exposed in public, they will not feel that their social status has been damaged.

4. To hide one's feelings

In daily life, if a man doesn't like a person, he won't show it, let alone say "I don't like you", but always hypocritically express his enthusiasm and treat you like a relative.Of course, this is also a strategy for dealing with people, but if it is done too much, it will make people doubt the character of this person.

5. In order to cater to the other party
If you ask a man, "Don't you think this dress is the right size for me?" he will usually answer, "Yes, it really does." Shall I pay you one hundred yuan? I’ll pay you back at the end of the month.” He will usually say, “Yes, no problem.” Although he hates it in his heart, most men still have to force themselves to make a gesture of agreement or say something to the other party. Looking forward to the answer.

6. To get out of trouble
Men have a psychological tendency to collect information that is beneficial to them as much as possible and avoid those that are harmful to them.Therefore, when they are in a difficult situation, they tend to lie to get out of it.

7. To avoid embarrassment
Generally, men will take "taking a step back and broadening the sky" as their creed in life. When faced with a matter, even if the situation is very favorable to them, they will lower their posture to avoid embarrassment due to special circumstances.For example, in competitive competitions, some men are obviously very strong, but they want to verbally show weakness.In this way, they reserve a retreat for themselves in advance to prevent the loss of the game from embarrassing themselves.

8. To satisfy desires

Men often recognize and accept people and things that can satisfy the emptiness in their hearts when their previous desires cannot be satisfied. This phenomenon is called "compensatory behavior" in psychology.The number of men who choose to marry girls who are very similar to their past girlfriends is a strong example.

In short, there are various reasons for men to lie, and we'd better treat them differently. For their well-intentioned lies, we might as well "educate them", but for their malicious lies, we must "hold on to the pigtails and not let go". Chase to the end.

Debunking the Bad Man's "True" Lie
Men never stop lying.If a man tells you he hasn't lied, he's lying.However, compared with women, men's lies are mostly hidden under a solemn and serious face, so they all sound "true" at first glance.This makes it more difficult for us to recognize the lies that destroy men, but it doesn't matter, as long as we master some basic lying psychology of men, it is not difficult to uncover their lies.

Because men live in lies all the time, they gradually take lies as truth, and in the end, even they themselves cannot distinguish what is a lie and what is true.It can be said that in their daily life, they simply "lie at one step", and lies have become a staple food like rice.

If they don't remember their wife's birthday, their wedding anniversary, or their child's birthday, they will explain that today the boss asked him to attend an important meeting and he didn't have time to buy a gift.

"I've only had a little," he says when you snatch his bottle away, but in fact he's downed two, his tongue straightened, and he's still thinking to himself that he's a dozen away. It's still far away, what's all the fuss about!

Although a man may not agree with what he says when he lies, what he expresses outwardly is taken for granted and relaxed.For example, they often say the following:

"I'm flirty but not nasty."

Men think that they can flirt with all the beauties in the office, have a "spiritual love" or two, have three or two "confidantes", or talk nonsense with a netizen named ××Baby late at night on the Internet. Pornography has nothing to do with it, and it's what they love to talk about and prove their charm.But a man who claims to be romantic will inevitably have the most out-of-the-ordinary ending in the end - sleeping with a woman.Whether or not he is really "flirtatious", only God knows.

"I'm a real gentleman."

Men are always personable and gentlemanly in public places, especially when there are women present, but at home, stinky socks are stuffed in shoes and they don’t bother to wash them for a week, and they are full of foul language after playing two mahjong games. Quarrels are no more clumsy than any shrew in the neighborhood, and when beating his wife, his shots are no worse than the spies in Zhazidong.

"I will always be true to you and family."

Nowadays, finding a man who is absolutely loyal is not as easy as winning the Mark Six lottery. A man's level of lying and his experience in hiding money can be written into a book.They also said: "A lover is like clothes, you have to change several pieces in your life." He is willing to accompany you to the streets because the streets are full of beautiful women to look at; Miss Ai, the ballroom dancer, is twice as thick.

"I will love you with my whole life."

This is really touching, but its survival period is slightly longer than Epiphyllum.These men understand women's thoughts very well, and can cater to them in a timely manner. They are the dangerous killers of women, especially girls. The weapons they use are meticulous care and tenderness.

A man brings a cake to the little girl in the office who loves to sleep in every day as a show of love, and a bouquet of roses on weekends. After half a year, the girl becomes his girlfriend.His love skills are admirable. Let me ask, which husband has the patience to buy breakfast for his wife without missing a meal for half a year?
In daily life, men's lies have formed specific routines and patterns. As soon as they say such things, we can immediately doubt their authenticity and judge whether they are lying.For example: "I called you a few hours ago and the line was busy (or you weren't available)." This type of fib is usually an excuse a man makes when he forgets to call you, is late for an appointment, or misses dinner. When buying ribs and vegetables before, in order to avoid your nagging, he would tell a little lie to deal with it.

The best lie a man can tell is "I would never lie to you".In fact, he was lying when he said that.This type of lie is a romantic way for men to reassure a woman, because sometimes all a woman really wants is Hollywood dialogue.Of course, when men say it, they usually want to do it with sincerity, but can they really do it?Of course it is impossible.

(End of this chapter)