Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 19 Women, win the war with the world of men (5)
In fact, as long as you think the salary increase is reasonable, you have the right to ask for it.But you must pay attention to the way you speak. It is best to convey your intentions to the boss skillfully and skillfully. Even if you are not accepted by the boss, it will not cause both parties to get into an awkward situation and affect their future relationship.

Respond skillfully to sexual harassment from male bosses

How to prevent sexual harassment from superiors is a topic of common concern in today's society.The initial definition of sexual harassment is mainly aimed at the sexual harassment of female subordinates by the boss using power. With the continuous expansion of the concept of sexual harassment, it covers a wider range, but power-based sexual harassment has always been the biggest damage to women's physical and mental health. of a cancer.

In the face of power, it is difficult for women to have the opportunity to defend themselves.More importantly, once you compete with the leader and the matter has a beginning, it is up to you how it ends. He can use all the power of public opinion. He can say that you seduced him, or that you fabricated facts to frame him. Tell him the truth, the days of suffering may come one after another—lost jobs, ruined reputations, broken families, and estranged relatives. How many women dare to resist in the face of such pressure?
A newspaper once reported that a female engineer surnamed Lin was sexually harassed by her male boss for 16 years, and her nightmare was finally over when the boss retired.

Ms. Lin also confided to her husband when she was abused, and asked the relevant leaders for help, but she met a pair of indifferent faces.Flies do not bite seamless eggs, and both men and women have problems. This kind of thinking pattern that has long been formed in people's minds makes husbands retort when they confide in their wives, and makes leaders indifferent to female staff's calls for help. The boss harassed Ms. Lin for 16 years until the harasser retired and went home.

Generally speaking, before the relevant laws and regulations are perfected, women will have two choices in the face of sexual harassment from their superiors: do they want to live or want to dignify?This is indeed a dilemma.So, is there a third option that can keep jobs and maintain dignity?In some cases, there may be, that is, women have the ability to protect themselves against their bosses. This ability is a skill, and it must achieve the purpose of preventing sexual harassment from the boss without offending the boss.

If women want to improve their self-protection ability, they must identify the various methods of boss harassment.Knowing what methods and methods your boss uses to harass women, you can take targeted precautions and counterattacks.Judging from many examples in reality, there are generally the following:

1. Forced by power

Some bosses often think that they are in high positions and hold great power in their hands, so they use their power to force and induce women to submit.

2. Be emotionally involved

This kind of boss usually takes advantage of women's weakness of empathy and uses emotions to win over the hearts of female subordinates.They often use meticulous care for them in work and life, and in the name of helping them solve difficulties, to gain the favor of female subordinates and achieve their ulterior motives.

3. Deceiving with benefits

It is the principle to seduce them with some small favors, such as promotion, salary increase, red envelopes, and small gifts, so that they will give up money and material things.

4. Teasing with words

In reality, it is common to tell the female subordinates about their pain because of the disharmony between husband and wife in order to win sympathy, and often use some provocative words to stimulate and lure subordinates to achieve their own goals.

In short, most of the motivations of male bosses to harass female subordinates are power-based, seduced by interests, or threatened by power.Once female employees understand their tricks, they can prevent being deceived, improve their ability to identify and prevent them, and keep themselves from being harmed.Specifically, there are several ways to deal with sexual harassment by male bosses:

1. Clarify the pros and cons
In many cases, the boss's "favor" for female subordinates is mostly impulsive and infatuated. They do not want to marry her when they reach out to the female subordinates around them.If you can calm him down and understand the pros and cons, he will naturally weigh the pros and cons and restrain himself rationally.You can tell him calmly: "You are the boss of the company, and the employees are very concerned about your every word and deed. I think you don't want yourself to be a pervert in the eyes of the employees." Facing your righteous words, he will Restrain your impulse, use reason to overcome evil thoughts, give up your actions, and make the matter be resolved satisfactorily.

2. Give him a hard time
For the entanglement of some shameless people, tactful refusal or blind concession will make him think that you are posturing.In order to protect yourself, you may wish to adopt some techniques to make him suffer and make your position clear.People pay more attention to reputation and family harmony, and bosses are no exception. Although some bosses like to flirt outside, they never give their true feelings, and they are not willing to lose their reputation or family because of this.Therefore, when repeated refusals are invalid, you may wish to call his wife to sue him, so that he can be controlled, so that you can get relief.

3. Use his wife as a shield
When your boss invites you with an excuse, you can pretend to be stupid and ask him: "Is your wife coming too?" Or say happily: "Oh, yes, let me introduce your wife to me by the way!"

Some bosses will not avoid suspicion, and sometimes invite directly. On the one hand, you may as well agree, but only go to some "small appointments", such as lunch, afternoon tea, etc.; Call his wife when necessary, tell the truth, or make friends with her, so that the boss with ulterior motives cannot succeed.

4. Give him a "high hat"

Sometimes it's a good idea to put a "high hat" on a sexually harassing boss.Compliment him first in the conversation, give him a loud title, so that it is difficult for him to misbehave under the prestige.

There is a lady who is outstanding in appearance and is in charge of product sales planning in a company.After negotiating with the manager of a certain company, the manager quietly invited her: "Miss, can you have supper with me tonight?" For business, she had to be invited to the appointment.After the meeting, the manager was full of affection.The two ate and talked, and the lady tried her best to persuade the manager to drink, introduced the company's development plan to him, and praised the manager from time to time, saying that he is a well-educated, temperamental, trustworthy and respected modern man. entrepreneur.The manager was quite proud and pretended to be modest: "You are too much." In the end, the two ended up dancing to a song.When parting, the manager held the lady's hand and said solemnly: "You are a self-respecting and self-loving woman!"

5. Find another job
If your boss is not confused by love, but purely to play with women, even though he has restrained himself through some means, he still harasses you uninterruptedly. If you work in this kind of place and worry all day long, it is better to resign and get another job. jobs.

Learn to analyze the psychology of male colleagues
As a professional woman, it is a compulsory course to deal with male colleagues around you. If you deal with them skillfully, your work will be like a fish in water, which will have a positive impact on your career; if you deal with them poorly, it will increase your work obstacles. thereby affecting the development of the business.Only by gaining insight into their true psychology can we be handy in communicating with them.Therefore, it is necessary for you to observe carefully and give them a psychological analysis.

Generally speaking, there are the following types of men in the office, let's see which one the male colleagues around you belong to.

1. A male colleague who is not busy and pretends to be busy
In order to cover up their low working ability, most of these male colleagues have doubts about their own abilities, and try to make colleagues, especially leaders, not despise themselves by pretending to be working hard in front of others.In fact, their work performance is so poor that they have no other choice but to pretend to be busy in order to cover themselves up and protect their weaknesses from being discovered by their colleagues or superiors.

2. Male co-workers who are self-deprecating
Laziness is their greatest character trait.They work hard and are busy, but they are superficial, and escape from difficulties faster than anyone else; they always look at other colleagues with strange eyes, thinking that they are not doing their job properly, deceiving their bosses, and no one loves their own job as much as they do Work.In fact, what they want most is salary increase and promotion, but they are lazy and will not do more than other people. If they work for an extra minute, they will publicize it everywhere.

3. Male colleagues who act according to the face of their boss

This type of man is duplicity, only when the boss is present, they will concentrate on their work, and once the boss disappears, their motivation will drop to the bottom.In their lives, they also play the same tricks in person and behind the scenes, using a hypocritical face to face the people and things around them.

In addition, there is another type of men who are generally introverted and nervous when they see a leader. As a result, their work efficiency is greatly reduced due to distraction. In fact, this is all due to their inferiority complex.

4. The absent-minded male colleague
They don't pay attention to the process of the conversation, so naturally they don't care about the content of the conversation. Even if they listen attentively, they are careless and careless.The external manifestation of this result is that they tend to procrastinate and delay in doing things, because they don't know what the other party wants them to do, and they just muddle along; if the goal is clear and the conditions are met and mature, they often cannot. If you concentrate your energy, the tasks you receive are often ignored, without a sense of responsibility, and it is difficult to achieve something.

5. Male colleagues who take advantage of others’ inattention to spy on others

If women like to spy on others, at most they just want to gossip and let others pay attention to themselves. If a man likes to spy on others, you have to be careful, because they are often the kind of people who are scheming and have bad intentions.This kind of man himself has no specialties or amazing things at all, but he always thinks that he can "do nothing if he doesn't make a sound, and make a blockbuster".They don't know how to realize this desire, and in reality, few people are willing to pay attention to these dreamers, and their self-esteem is greatly hurt as a result.In order to realize their daydreams and prove their existence value to the world, they have learned to be scheming and scheming.

6. Male colleagues who like to stare at each other
Staring is a manifestation of willpower. This kind of man often appears aggressive without too many words and actions, which shows that he is now a strong man full of strength.If glances could kill, surely their gaze could be a deadly weapon, because with that kind of eye contact there is an unavoidable fear of being attacked.In fact, the reason why most men stare at others is just to see through the other person's character, and they have no actual intention to attack.

7. Male colleagues with exaggerated movements
Even if it is a trivial matter, they will jump up and down, disturbing the peace of those around them.But their nature is good, and they don’t intend to make others uncomfortable. The reason for this is that they can’t hold back their enthusiasm and strength. They think that words alone are not enough to express the hot feelings in their hearts, so some exaggerated words must be added. Use actions to express your inner thoughts to attract the attention of others.In fact, deep down in their hearts, there is usually extreme anxiety, because they are not sure whether they can be recognized by others.

8. Male colleagues who like eye contact
Eyes are the windows of the soul, and making eye contact with others is undoubtedly an initiative to show his heart to the other party, indicating that he not only hopes to understand the other party deeply, but also opens the door for the other party to understand himself.They are full of confidence and straightforwardness, and never suspect that their actions will cause discomfort to others.They know how to think about others, so they concentrate on doing things, try to meet everyone's requirements, and hope to make good achievements so that the public can recognize and accept themselves; they understand the role of politeness in communication and can grasp the measure, which is very suitable for jobs that require face-to-face communication .

The above are some common behaviors of male colleagues. Through these behaviors, you can see through the psychology of men and then control them.

Mobilize different types of male colleagues
A company is a microcosm of a society. People of various personalities may meet in a company, and some of them are unavoidable troublesome characters in the work.As a woman, how do you mobilize men with different personalities so that everyone can get along well and work smoothly?
The men in the workplace are divided into 10 types below, and their psychological analysis is carried out separately.Once you have mastered the psychology of these men, you can easily mobilize them.

1. Mobilize male colleagues who shirk their responsibilities
For those male colleagues who are used to shirking their work responsibilities, when asking them to assist in the work, the goals must be clear, the time, content and other requirements must be clearly stated, and they can even be written in black and white as evidence.Don't be swayed by the excuses they come up with, stick to the original resolution gently, and express your expectation that you know the work will be difficult, but still need to be completed within a certain range.

If they try to blame someone else, don't let them put the blame on you, just insist that that's another matter, and now it's time to figure out how to achieve the original goal.If they do have a problem, you don't offer to help them unless it's really necessary, preventing them from developing a habit of continuing to use this trick on you to get out of work.If necessary, ask the supervisor to re-coordinate work assignments without affecting the overall work, so as to achieve the purpose of prioritizing work objectives.

2. Mobilize overly sensitive male colleagues
Some male colleagues are sensitive by nature. Try to avoid making comments that may offend them in front of other people. If you want to criticize, you can speak in private.Even reserved tones like "somewhat," "maybe," and "not quite" can make their minds flutter.So try to be objective and impartial when criticizing, choose your words carefully, and point out the facts.In particular, let them know that you're just making an opinion on the matter itself, not attacking them personally.

In response to their excessive reaction, you should not follow suit and rush to justify, it may become darker and darker, just reiterate the matter itself.While giving opinions, also point out their strengths and what they do well to build their self-confidence.

3. Mobilize male colleagues who like to complain

They complain because they care about how things are going.If the content of the complaint is related to the business you are responsible for, it is best to respond or improve it immediately; if they complain about trivial matters, just listen to it and don't need to get angry and refute.When encountering a problem, ask them what they think is the best solution, how to prevent the problem from happening again, and direct their attention to solving the problem.If you're working together on a job, it's a good idea to ask them every now and then if they have any questions, and if they say no, they won't complain later.

4. Mobilize pessimistic male colleagues
Colleagues with pessimistic faces are afraid of failure and unwilling to take risks, so they will block changes in work and the environment with negative opinions.You may wish to ask what they think the worst outcome of the change is, and how to prepare for it in advance.Don't get frustrated by their negative opinions, let alone be infected by their pessimism, you can use their views as a mechanism to prevent mistakes.

When working with pessimistic colleagues, tell them that failure is the responsibility of the entire team, rather than blaming them, and take the pressure off their shoulders so they don't nag.

5. Mobilize moody male colleagues

Some male colleagues are of the phlegmatic type and will be moody.When they show moody behavior, don't respond to their unreasonable behavior, find an excuse such as pouring a glass of water, taking something, etc. to leave the scene, and come back when they calm down.In the face of their out-of-control emotions, don't be emotionally aroused. You should respond with a calm and objective attitude, and just state the facts without excuses.Once they regain their senses, be willing to listen to their conversation.In case they start to "crazy" again in the middle of the conversation, stop the conversation immediately.

If their behavior is excessive and frequent, which affects their work, when they can communicate rationally, they should be told that they cannot do whatever they want in the office, and let them know that noisy children do not necessarily have sweets.

(End of this chapter)