Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 20 Women, win the war with the world of men (6)
6. Mobilize maverick male colleagues
For those male colleagues who like to go out of their way, let them maintain their privacy and not force them to participate in parties or activities that require contact with many people.Acknowledge that they also have many advantages, such as the ability to complete the work alone, can handle details carefully, etc., and ask them for help when these strengths are needed.

Since they like to be alone, when assigning work, let them be responsible for the parts that can be completed independently, so as to reduce the chance of causing mutual trouble.Sometimes it's easier to communicate on the phone than face to face, so try to avoid going into their office to talk to them, and it's better to talk on the inside.

When you need their help, don't use a commanding tone, but let them know that you are sincerely asking for their assistance.If they say no, accept it and let them know that you respect their decision.If necessary, you may wish to propose a bilateral deal, such as this time you help me with this, I can help you with that, thank them and motivate them.

7. Mobilize silent male colleagues
There are always some colleagues in the office who don't like to talk and work silently.Talk to them not in a threatening tone, but in a neutral and low profile manner.Take the time to write down each work step with them and understand each other's perception of the work.Just let them do their job as much as possible.

Ask as many open-ended questions as you can, encourage them to talk, be patient if they run out of things to say for a while, give them time to think, and don't feel uncomfortable with each other's silence.Compliment their accomplishments and encourage them in a way that suits their needs.

8. Mobilize stubborn male colleagues
To deal with such male colleagues, it is difficult to persuade them only with a three-inch tongue. You might as well go straight to the point, list some of their wrong practices in work and life, and then remind them to deal with the problems that need to be solved now. What serious consequences will there be.In this way, even if they resist you face to face, they will start to waver in their hearts and doubt the correctness of their decision.At this time, if you take the opportunity to express your point of view, with emotion and reason, then the possibility of their acceptance will be much greater.

9. Mobilize eccentric male colleagues

Get along with weird male colleagues, you may inexplicably "encounter" conflicts with them, but don't hold them grudges.They usually let things go and they will still treat you as before, so don't try to change them.Of course, people don't want to change anything about you.For this kind of people, be careful not to have too much contact with them, and you can't have aggressive behaviors and words towards them.

10. Mobilize arrogant male colleagues

You don't have to worry about the arrogant male colleague, he likes to brag about himself, so let him do it.If he belittles you, don't try to compete with them, let alone be humble, you just need to make a long story short and explain the things that need to be explained concisely.

Therefore, in the company, facing different types of male colleagues, we must grasp their respective personality characteristics, actively mobilize them, and create a harmonious and harmonious working atmosphere.

when you're a man's boss

Today, women have begun to take up leadership positions in various fields of society, and sometimes there are many men under them. How to manage them is the first issue that women must consider.Generally speaking, men have a so-called "male dominance" bad temper, and it is naturally unwilling to be a subordinate to a woman. If you can understand the psychology of these men, you can easily control them.

As a female leader, you first have to earn the respect of those male subordinates.Most men don't believe in a woman's ability to work at the beginning, and even think that your climbing so high may have something to do with betraying your appearance. Once you prove your strength to them, it will be easy to gain their sincere respect.

We all know that Yang Lan is not only an excellent host, but also an excellent leader. Under her leadership, Sunshine Media Group is doing well, making many big men feel ashamed.So, how did she subdue those male subordinates under her?We can see this from the little thing below.

There is a joke circulating in the company that Yang Lan has a particularly good appetite. "That time I was filming a show in Shangri-La in one day. I arrived at 10 o'clock the night before yesterday, and got up at 6 o'clock the next morning to work until 10 o'clock in the evening. At that time, all the men were tired and lay down. Standing still, I still have the energy to dance Guozhuang dance with Tibetans after dinner, they admire me very much.” Yang Lan said, “Don’t think that women are thinner than men, in fact we are very capable. Physical strength is very important. If a girl is very If you are weak, if you need special care from others, people in the company will think you are troublesome. In good health, not only must you be the same as men in terms of work ability, but you must not lose to them in terms of physical strength, which is also very important.”

In Sun Media Group, half of the production directors are women, and one-third of the executives are women. Yang Lan said, "I don't think I need to have any special attitude towards male subordinates. Everyone can be the same." In fact, It was this confident attitude that won the respect of the men and convinced them of Yang Lan.

Generally speaking, when dealing with male subordinates, you need to pay attention to the following points:
1. No preferential treatment for male subordinates
Being a successful professional woman faces pressure from many aspects.In addition to gender discrimination, he also faced the trouble of male subordinates who were unwilling to obey.As a female supervisor, you have to use your weakness to him, and he will look down on you.Therefore, when dealing with such male subordinates, there is no need to treat them with preferential treatment and to be humble everywhere. Instead, you should use the authority of your superiors to let them feel that you are not a vegetarian.Of course, combining Enwei and Wei is the most effective.

2. Cultivate your own independence

If in private communication, you can still get the care and love of men, then it is impossible to get their courtesy at work, even though they are your subordinates.However, men most admire capable people, and if you set an example for them, they will also sincerely appreciate you and follow your orders.Conversely, if you are in a high position and you have to rely on men for everything, they will look down on you and think that your position was obtained through other means.

3. Don't hurt the self-esteem of male subordinates

This is not to ask you to flatter your subordinates, but you must understand that men are always confident that they are the best in the world, omniscient, and omnipotent.This kind of self-esteem is actually very fragile, and when a woman threatens his existence, he will resist.Therefore, if you want them to listen to you, you must know how to maintain their self-esteem at the right time and praise them a word or two.But remember: this kind of praise must be measured, otherwise others may misunderstand that you are interested in him, which will embarrass you.

4. Seek common ground in getting along

Male subordinates are often at a loss when facing female bosses, because he is used to looking down at women, and it is really not used to making them look up.At this time, you must try to eliminate their mentality, and strive to establish a common ground, resonate, and make getting along easier.To achieve this goal, you must first know the person's preferences before you can prescribe the right medicine.With a common topic, everyone can naturally talk about things other than official business.

5. Solicit opinions from male subordinates
Seeking the opinion of male subordinates is also appreciated.Because it shows that you value his insights and experiences and makes him feel important.Pay attention when you ask male subordinates for their opinions: in the company, you must never discuss purely personal issues with male subordinates, such as family, husband, boyfriend issues, etc., unless you have a good personal relationship with him.Of course, if you want to buy a car, invest in stocks or buy a house, and you know that he has research in this area, you can ask him for advice in a relaxed situation (such as lunch, after get off work), which will make him feel that you have vision and are right. You are friendly and will automatically give you advice in the future.

6. Don't shed tears in front of men
It is easy for women to cry for what they want.But in a working environment, such feminine displays of emotion are intolerable.Although this crying may get sympathy immediately, it is only a matter of a moment.From a long-term perspective, it will not only damage your dignity, but also harm your career image.In some cases, a man can accept some women's tears, but not a supervisor.

Let a man who is more capable than you be a subordinate
In many cases, the ability of a leader is not necessarily stronger than that of his subordinates. This is true for men and women.At this time, you have to learn to use management skills, so that those men who are more capable than you are willing to do things for you.On this point, you should also learn a few tricks from men.

After Han Gaozu Liu Bang pacified the world, he said something like this at the celebration banquet in Luoyang: "When the husband is strategizing and winning thousands of miles away, I am not as good as Zifang; township the country, caress the people, give them money, and keep the road of food. I am not as good as Xiao He; even with an army of millions, you must win a battle and capture an attack. I am not as good as Han Xin. These three are all outstanding. I can use them, so I can take over the world."

It can be seen that Liu Bang is not as good as his subordinates in many aspects. The reason why he was able to defeat the mighty Chu overlord Xiang Yu and dominate the world is because he reused some people who are more capable than himself in some aspects.In fact, no one can be an all-rounder and be better than his subordinates in all fields. The key is to be able to "use" these super capable subordinates and let them serve you.

The value of a person with strong ability lies in being assertive and creative, not following the trend, and acting without looking at other people's eyes.They are highly creative and can create situations for their bosses, even surpassing their bosses.Since it is innovation and pioneering, it is inevitable that it will be inconsistent with tradition and authority, and it may even be inconsistent with the boss.Any invention, innovation, reform and progress cannot guarantee [-]% success. Mistakes and failures are inevitable, and even more failures than successes.As a boss, you must have the generosity of a man who is stronger than you to "be able to tolerate people who are hard to tolerate in the world", so that you can do things that are difficult for ordinary people.

In addition, we must also look at capable people with an appreciation mentality.Treat outstanding subordinates peacefully and positively without jealousy.If there is jealousy, there will be many extreme behaviors and words, which will greatly affect the image and reputation of the boss itself.Treat subordinates with an appreciative attitude, so that not only will subordinates have a sense of pride and honor, but they will also actively display their abilities. The boss himself will also be respected, trusted and admired by talented people and people other than talented people. Everyone will unite and carry out pioneering work, which greatly improves work efficiency.

When dealing with capable male subordinates, you must grasp three points: first use, second management, and third support.

1. To use.Give them challenging jobs, do everything possible to mobilize their enthusiasm, let them complete their work well, let their abilities be brought into play, let their talents be displayed, and give them a sense of stage satisfaction. Only in this way can we retain them, otherwise , they will choose to leave as soon as possible.

2. To manage.Men with strong abilities have many problems, they are proud of their talents, and sometimes they even like to make their own decisions.Therefore, it is necessary to manage, have institutional constraints, and communicate with them more, and strive to reach consensus and resonance.The purpose is to let them understand each other with you, so as to prevent misunderstandings, improper employment, troubles and losses due to mutual ignorance.

3. To raise.If a capable person is a fish, an organization is water, and this organization is composed of every member, including the capable person himself.Therefore, in addition to guiding capable people to talk less and do more and make achievements, we must also help them get rid of their mistakes in good faith and skillfully. A healthy atmosphere, in this way, leads them to integrate with the members of the organization.

Therefore, if you really hope that your subordinates can give full play to their talents and capabilities, and strive for your career, you must dare to use them and let their talents create the glory of the company.

five.Overcoming rigidity with softness, making men bow their heads at the wine table

China's wine culture has a history of thousands of years, but during these thousands of years, men have been in a state of "monologue", and women can only serve as a foil at most, sitting next to them as "drinking dishes" for men.However, with the development of society, women are more and more involved in social activities such as politics, business, and public relations. It is inevitable to meet men at the wine table. At this time, if you cannot understand the mentality of men at the wine table, you will easily be passive. As a result, not only can things not be done, but they will also be ridiculed.

talk about wine on men

Drinking is a traditional way of socializing in China. Many things for Chinese people are settled and negotiated at the wine table, and even formed a unique wine culture.Therefore, if alcohol is used to identify a man's personality, or as a reference to grasp a man's mentality, things will be easier to accomplish.

At present, although we have no sufficient theoretical basis for the relationship between the variety of wine and the personality of men, we can do the following analysis.

1. A man who likes to drink whiskey

This kind of man has strong adaptability and can fully adopt the opinions of others.Their desire to get ahead is generally very strong, and they hope to make a lot of money from it or expect the approval of their superiors whenever they have the opportunity.They attach great importance to etiquette to women, and show kindness, and will express their hearts clearly.However, the drinking method has the following differences:
(1) People who like to drink diluted whiskey are the most common male personality, eager to fully convey their ideas to the other party, and are very adaptable.

(2) A man who likes to drink with ice cubes cannot express his feelings accurately with words or expressions.They tend to observe their surroundings carefully and are easily swayed by the opinions of others.However, they are usually on the rise in the company and usually hide their feelings.

(3) People who like to drink pure whiskey are masculine, adventurous, refuse to be restrained, and are rebellious against powerful forces.In addition, they are creative, original, and have a sense of justice.Generally speaking, they are very indifferent to women on the surface, but they are gentle on the inside.

2. A man who likes to drink liquor
Some men prefer strong liquor, and if there is no liquor on the table, the taste will be dull. Such men generally like to be generous.Of course, they also have a nice side, they are very concerned about each other's feelings, they are easy to be flattered, and they cannot refuse the entrustment.They are especially kind to women, even if they fail, they don't care.In the company, they will be deeply loved by their subordinates because they take care of them, but it is difficult to get the approval of the leaders.Plus, they excel in chaotic situations.Most of this kind of men are willing to devote themselves to people who have great expectations of their abilities in order to identify with themselves.Although there are many failures, there are also great achievements.

3. A man who likes to drink cocktails

(1) Men who like sweet cocktails are rarely booze type.They're not so much drinking cocktails as feeling the vibe, or craving conversations with women.If you like spicy rather than seasoned cocktails (such as martini), it is a sign of masculinity, you can give full play to your talents and personality at work, you are trustworthy, and you have a sense of responsibility and proper behavior.

(2) Men who drink sweet cocktails are not very fond of alcohol. They are either eager to invite women to experience the atmosphere of drinking, or expect to use alcohol to ease their emotions.

(3) If a man persuades a woman to drink a high-alcohol or more special cocktail, he is secretly expecting to use alcohol, so that the woman cannot make a calm judgment.For example, a man who persuades a woman to drink a cocktail before dancing usually hopes to have a deeper relationship with the woman.

4. A man who likes to drink beer
According to the survey conducted by the American Institute of Social Research, drinking beer is an expression of a relaxed and happy mood, eager to be released from a depressing environment.

(End of this chapter)