Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 7 Opening the Man's Seven Apertures and Exquisite Heart (6)
It is not because of lack of conscience that men fall in love with two women at the same time, but because of the nature of men that separates the spirit from the body.As men, they all have a mentality that they can't bear to abandon beautiful things, and at the same time, they have a mentality that is easy to be attracted by new things.So, they had to go back and forth between the two like ping-pong balls.It is difficult even for them to judge which attraction is spiritual and which is physical.For example, for a man who has just eaten spiced fish and picks up fried steak, if he is asked which food is more attractive, he may not be able to tell the difference.

A man's cultural traditions favor polygamy, while a woman's heart craves monogamy, no matter how romantic she is.Women want to live with only one man, but men have a tendency to pursue many kinds of women.

A man is like this, although he loves A very much, as long as there is a B within reach, and she has another charm that is very different from A, he can fall in love with B while loving A.For men, B does not necessarily have to be more attractive than A. No matter in terms of appearance, personality, upbringing or age, as long as he is different from A, he is attractive to him. It is really disgusting to think about it.

In fact, a man who only wants to hold a red rose in his left hand and a white rose in his right hand should be considered a less greedy man. He just has a hard time choosing.What I am most afraid of is the kind of man who holds all kinds of flowers in both hands. He seems to be the owner of the hundred gardens, and he is going to collect famous flowers and plants in the world. When he meets this kind of owner, it is safer to run away.

Virginity complex - Chinese men's millennium complex
Speaking of "virgin complex", the first thing that comes to mind is Chinese men.Of course, it's not that men from other countries don't have this complex, but it's not as serious as Chinese men.In ancient China, a woman's chastity was the main factor to measure her status. A woman who "broke" her body before getting married was sentenced to death.

In ancient times, husbands were very cruel to their unfaithful wives. They would sew up a woman's perineum to make her life worse than death; if they were more civilized, they would put Shougong sand on their arms, just like in "The Legend of Condor Heroes" Like the Little Dragon Girl, it can be tested whether it is a virgin.In the Song Dynasty, when Cheng-Zhu Neo-Confucianism flourished, it became common practice to set up a chastity archway for chaste women. A martyr cut off her "tainted" arm with a knife just because someone pulled her arm while looking at the lamp.Although modern people would not do such extremes, they are still quite sensitive to the issue of virginity.

Obviously, the "virgin complex" cannot be traced back to the origin of human beings at the earliest.Judging from the most primitive lifestyle of apes with the characteristics of living in groups, it is just that strong males always try to have more females, and they should not distinguish whether they are "virgins". The male leader who lives in groups is the favorite Possibly the most beautiful and well-proportioned female, she would never dislike being the concubine of a defeated former leader.It is true that the civilized modern society is absolutely incomparable with it, but the love of virgins is not the innate nature of men, as some men claim.

In fact, people in primitive societies just considered virgins to be evil and unlucky, and gave them to passers-by or monks in the temple.The former is given because passers-by can be indifferent to virgins and do as they please; the latter is given because monks have a divine power that can defeat the magic of virgins.Even now, some ethnic groups that maintain primitive customs still have this strange concept: a woman cannot marry the first man she is close to, and it is better for a man to marry a woman who is better off with others, and so on.

So, why do men prefer virgins, and it has evolved from a preference to a serious "complex"?Any man who is willing to reflect on looking back will understand that most of these weird habits and disdainful traditions are nothing more than the extreme expansion of the patriarchal society.

At present, although a large number of men will deny it in every possible way with duplicity, it will not change the existence of the complex inherited from their ancestors, but the degree is gradually weakening with the changes of the times, and the number of people is gradually decreasing.Many modern men keep saying that they don't have a "virgin complex", but they still unconsciously use this criterion as the first choice when looking for a wife. .

Facing a virgin, a man feels that he can smear freely on a piece of clean white paper, draw the latest and most beautiful pictures, and show his masculinity, no matter how he behaves, it makes sense.In front of a woman with rich sexual experience, he will be afraid of his poor performance, but in front of a pure wife, everything he does is fresh, and the wife will blindly adore and trust, as if only her husband is powerful.Moreover, men generally believe that women have a deep memory and a deeper bond with the first man.

In fact, the worship of virgins also exposes the immaturity and restlessness of men in terms of sex.On the one hand, he regards his wife as private property and believes that the first naming rights should belong to him; on the other hand, he does not want to lose to his wife's ex-boyfriend.If his wife is not a virgin, every time he makes out, he will think that he may not be as skilled as others, and cannot bring happiness to his wife, so that his wife will also doubt his other abilities. This is a useless man.There is no need to worry about virgins.

With the development of society, the relationship between men and women is becoming more and more open and free. On the one hand, men enjoy freedom, but on the other hand, they expect their future wives to be virgins.Now it is difficult to find a virgin wishfully. Many men intellectually do not have much hope for finding a virgin, but they still hope that luck will come to them.This unrealistic expectation made businessmen discover huge business opportunities, and began to introduce a kind of operation of "repairing the hymen".It is the ridiculous "virgin complex" of men that led to the appearance of this ridiculous operation.

In fact, the basis of marriage is not whether you are a virgin, let alone a "virgin complex", what matters is whether you have true love.Love is the foundation of marriage. Some men always like to emphasize their hypocritical and selfish "virginity complex", which is not only inappropriate, but also discriminatory against women.Women should be self-respecting, more confident, and not lose themselves in this filthy social environment.

So, from another perspective, do men really value a woman's "first time" so much?In fact, that's not exactly the case.Zeng Zihang, a contemporary emotional writer, told such a story in one of his works "Men Don't Tell, Women Don't Understand":
Zeng Zihang was once a guest on the "Emotional Blog" program of the Youth Channel of Beijing TV Station. During an intermission, female writer Zhao Ning, who was also a guest, told him a very ridiculous thing.One girl she knew had a boyfriend who was afraid of taking responsibility and refused to sleep with her during a passionate relationship because she was a virgin.

This incident may sound a bit strange at first glance, don't they all say that Chinese men have a "virgin complex"?Why did the man get cold feet when the virgin took the initiative to throw herself into her arms?Zhao Ning's explanation for this is: the man hopes that the person he will marry in the future will be a virgin, but he is afraid that all the girls who play together will be virgins. "Responsibility is terrible." He couldn't do it if he was asked to be responsible for his past girlfriends one by one.When you play with ordinary women, you love it when you love it, you do it when you do it, and you leave when you break up. You don't owe anyone.But it would be bad if the other party is a virgin, after making out, put your face on it, and say softly "Honey, I'm your man", it's like entwining the man with spider's silk, making the man feel hard to insert his wings The feeling of escaping.

It can be seen that the deep-rooted "virgin complex" of Chinese men is tied to marriage. If the burden of marriage is temporarily thrown away, men sometimes see virgins, but they will hide away, because men who play on the spot are most afraid of taking responsibility. responsibility!
The Oedipus complex is not only for Oedipus

The Oedipal complex originates from ancient Greek and Roman myths and legends.Legend has it that King Laios of Thebes was warned by the gods that if he allowed the newborn to grow up, his throne and life would be in danger.So he asked the hunter to take his son away and kill him, but the hunter took pity on him and just discarded the baby.The discarded baby was found by a farmer and given to its owner to be raised.Years later, Laius went on a pilgrimage, and met a young man on his way and had a dispute, and he was killed by the young man.This young man is Oedipus.Later, Oedipus solved the mystery of the Sphinx, was elected king by the people of Bess, and married Queen Jocaster.Plague and famine occurred in Thebes, and people consulted the oracle, only to know that Oedipus had committed the crime of killing his father and marrying his mother.As a result, Oedipus gouged out his eyes, left Thebes, and wandered around.

According to this story, the Austrian psychologist Freud called a desire with instinctual impulse as the core "Oedipus complex".In layman's terms, it refers to a psychological tendency of men, that is, no matter what age they are, they are always obedient and attached to their mothers, and they are not yet weaned psychologically.

(End of this chapter)