Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 8 Opening the Man's Seven Apertures and Exquisite Heart (7)
Oedipus complex is not a moral issue, but a normal psychology of men. A man has different degrees of Oedipus complex according to the influence of his living environment from childhood to adulthood.Some men were bullied outside when they were children, and he turned to his mother for help. He believed that the safest harbor was his mother's arms.Such a man suffers setbacks in society when he grows up, and he naturally thinks that the arms of his wife or girlfriend are his safest harbor.

Because the role given to a man by life is too heavy, he must be strong if he is required to take on more social responsibilities, so he has to bear a lot of psychological pressure, and it is inevitable that fear and anxiety will arise in his heart.But the "problems" in a man's heart cannot be told to outsiders casually. If he wants to tell, the best person to ask for help is his wife or girlfriend.A man looks masculine on the outside, but actually his heart is very fragile, so at home, in front of his wife or girlfriend, he will often act like a baby and talk about his inner anxiety. like a child.Some men hope to find older women to be their wives. There is an old saying in China that "a third-year female holds a golden brick, and a fifth-year female is better than a mother", which has something to do with this mentality of men.

Of course, everything has a degree. If a man’s Oedipus complex is too serious, it means that he has a psychological problem and he should see a psychiatrist, otherwise it will affect family life.

The relationship between men with too serious Oedipus complex and their wives is often not harmonious. When they hear their wives say bad things about their mothers, they will not be able to bear it, and even they themselves have an inexplicable sense of guilt.For this reason, they often get angry with their wives, and the cracks in the relationship between husband and wife will become bigger and bigger, and finally reach the point of being out of control.

A man with a serious Oedipus complex is often a person without assertiveness and lack of enterprising spirit. They are very afraid of losing their mother's love, so they keep spying on their mother's face, suppress their own opinions, and live to satisfy their mother. Mothers tend to be feminine in their way of thinking and speaking and behavior.Entering society with this attitude towards life, such a person is also a cowardly person, unable to act without instructions from others, lacking self-awareness, and prone to chronic atrophy of spirit.

There is such a young man who graduated from a university, is handsome and has a good job, but he has no girlfriend at the age of 30.He works in other places, calls home several times a week, and reports to his mother no matter what happens.His mother is very strong at home, and his father is relatively weak, so he is afraid of making his mother angry.His first criterion for making a girlfriend is to consider whether his mother likes it or not.Later, his mother even said to him: "Son, I like what you like." But he said to others: "Don't listen to her, if she gets angry, she will immediately deny it!"

Men regard marriage as a continuation of the Oedipus complex, so many men will choose a woman who is similar to their mother as a wife, intentionally or unintentionally comparing their wives with their mothers. "She is far worse than my mother", this is the dissatisfaction that many men often experience.Many of them don't care about everything in the family once they hand over the money they earn. Even the bags for business trips and the bath water at night have to be prepared by their wives. tidy.What they feel happiest is not to hug their wives by themselves, but to lie in their arms and let their wives caress him gently like a son.Therefore, sometimes the wife would say with a bit of reproach: "Oh! I have really raised two sons, an old son and a young son."

Many men are as dependent on their wives as they were on their mothers in childhood, and at the same time they are like children trying to be absolutely free.When the wife is home, they spin all kinds of lies to do what they want.Once their wives go out, they are like grandsons who have escaped from the control of the Jade Emperor, "making troubles in the heavenly palace" at home: no one cooks the food, no one washes the clothes, and the house is a mess.They flipped through the calendar and hoped that their wives would come back soon to take care of their own lives.But wives are not mothers after all, and they are not quite as honest with their wives as they are with their mothers.When encountering extramarital affairs, they do not want their wives to abandon them, but also want to get rid of their wives' shackles and surveillance.They treat themselves like superchildren who expect their wives to turn a blind eye to their affairs like permissive mothers.

They expect their wives to pamper and tolerate themselves like their mothers, and to still serve them delicious hot meals after they are tired from playing and "flowering".No matter how long they stay outside, they always hope that their wives will be waiting for them at home.Such men are sometimes more dependent on women than women are on men.According to statistics, the annual death rate of divorced men is three times higher than that of divorced women, and the suicide rate of unmarried men is more than four times that of unmarried women.

In short, the Oedipus complex is reflected in every man to varying degrees. A smart woman should not only fully understand it, but also learn to use it. To the man's complex.

Money PK Emotion: Who is in charge of a man's wallet

A man's wallet, like a woman's age, is a kind of privacy.Every man hopes to have a mountain of gold in his wallet, but everyone knows that this is impossible, so men always watch their wallets very closely, almost to the point of sensitivity.

When it comes to sex, most men are very interested, but when it comes to money, these men are very calm, because sex is a pleasure, and money is a reality.Therefore, men can have sex with women they like, but they will not spend money for women casually.However, when it comes to dating the woman they love, most men will do whatever it takes to please her.Men feel happy when the woman they love smiles or feels happy, and feel recognized for their abilities, so men are willing to spend money on dating the woman they love.

If you analyze carefully, you will find that men usually buy a lot of gifts for their girlfriends at the beginning of dating, but as the number of dates increases, the number of gifts men start to decrease.When this happens, the man cannot be blamed entirely, because that man was not willing to buy gifts for women at the beginning, but invested in order to get women.

Of course, this is just one type of man. Although this type of man occupies a large proportion, it is still not ruled out that there is another type of man. They never criticize women's shopping desires. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman.However, even for such men, no matter how rich a man is, his heart will hurt when women blindly empty their wallets, but they don't feel a little bit of thoughtfulness and love.At this time, what they feel distressed is not the money, but the feeling that they are being treated as a "cash machine" for women.

Ah Qing divorced when he was 30 years old, and soon met Ah Nan.Ah Qing, who had been divorced once, was very satisfied with Ah Nan, and moved this kind and innocent unmarried man with his simplicity, and Ah Nan devoted all his attention and love to her.However, Ah Qing doesn't care about Ah Nan's affection. Now she cares more about how much Ah Nan can earn a month.

She gave birth to a daughter for her ex-husband, and spent six years painstakingly managing the family, but in the end she was betrayed by her husband.She felt that in the days to come, she should enjoy her own life.Now, Ah Nan's salary card is handed over to her, and she can get some living expenses from her when needed, while her own salary card is handed over to her parents.She felt that by doing this, even if the relationship had another accident, she could have a financial security.Because she divided the two people's finances with each other from the beginning, she didn't feel any heartache when spending Ah Nan's money.Once a good wife, she now feels that cooking is a waste of time, and it would be more comfortable to go to the small restaurant downstairs and order two dishes.In addition, Ah Qing was afraid that people around her would say that her marriage was not as good as the previous one, so buying a lot of beautiful clothes to dress herself up and gain the envy of others has become her favorite thing to do.

Three years have passed, and when the temperature of love gradually cooled, Ah Nan finally discovered a problem. They were both over 3 years old and still lived in a small apartment with poor decoration, without a penny in savings.Seeing that men of the same age have become fathers, he felt a little moved.But at this time, Ah Qing was determined not to give birth.She has already given birth to a child and knows the hardships of raising a child. After these years of comfortable life, she doesn't want to take any more responsibilities.

Unknowingly, the married life continued for 6 years.In the past few years, Ah Nan's parents and brothers have done countless ideological work for him. Thinking about the phrase "a husband and wife for a day, a hundred days of grace", Ah Nan refused to accept their suggestion to let him divorce.He thought to himself that a man who can spend money on a woman is a real man.But one morning when he woke up, he couldn't find a pair of socks without holes. He asked Ah Qing, and Ah Qing said, I have to take care of your socks. It's so funny.

In fact, Ah Nan hasn’t bought a piece of clothing for several years. He is actually a simple person who doesn’t pay much attention to clothing. I haven't added anything to myself.But on this day, when he didn't even have a pair of good socks, he realized that the man who spends money on a woman is actually hoping to get back her care.In the end, he finally filed for divorce from Ah Qing.

"Women and men are equal." While we have been chanting this slogan, men's wallets often bother us.Therefore, how to move a man's "wallet" is a skill that a smart woman must learn. It is best to let them feel the dignity of a man and the sweetness of love while opening the "wallet" of a man, rather than "distressed". .

(End of this chapter)