Smart Women Should Read Men's Psychology: Secrets Men Don't Want You to Know

Chapter 9 A man's mind, a smart woman must be able to "guess" (1)
I don’t know if you have noticed, those men who always like to talk endlessly are very hypocritical. Nine and a half out of ten sentences they say are false, and the remaining half sentence is really revealed by him accidentally; while those who are more sincere Most men are often "dumb" and can't squeeze out a word for a long time.Oh, it's so difficult, what are the men thinking in their hearts?Hey, don't worry, let me tell you a trick, a man's mind, you have to - guess!

one.Men believe in "silence is golden", women must be able to "wash the sand with big waves"

It doesn't matter if men pretend to be dumb, we can still see through them.What do you think?Judging by what he did!As the saying goes: "It is better to do well than to say well." What they say may be false, but what they do is true.For example, what songs he likes to listen to, what books he likes to read, and his attitude towards work, through these we can see what kind of "thing" this man is.However, be careful when you read it, and don't be discovered by him, otherwise he may still fake it.

A man is a dancer with a chained heart

Men seem to be born with a silent disposition.For example, when they were bullied when they were young, most girls would run to tell their teachers or parents crying, while boys would not let their families know even if they were beaten black and blue.After growing up, women always complain to their husbands when they encounter troubles; while men are reluctant to tell others no matter how much pressure they encounter.

So, we think that man is a silent animal by nature.However, this is not the case. Men also have the desire to confide, and they also have a weak side, but the real society puts too many shackles on them, making it difficult for them to speak.Boys will not tell their parents their grievances, because they know that what they will get is a "coward" reprimand; men will not tell their wives about their pressure, because they don't want to be considered a "useless" man.

It can be said that men are dancers with shackles in their hearts. Their smiles are sometimes tearful, and their strength is sometimes disguised. Heart.They often find their minds in an insurmountable bondage—"If you don't do this or don't do that, you'll be condemned."

With the development of history to this day, apart from the factors we mentioned in the first article, there are mainly the following aspects that bind men:

1. Gender Binds Men
Although boys are mostly brought up by women, when they grow up to five or six years old, people expect him to be a "real boy".A boy puts himself in a ridiculous position if he behaves femininely.Thus, in order to fit in with life, a man must let go of major parts of his deepest character traits, and do this through a form of what psychologists call character-building counterforce—psychological self-defense.This leads to an overly masculine style—superman style.

2. The consciousness of self-reliance binds men

Men are often encouraged to be self-reliant and not dependent on others for help, but in fact they still need consideration and attention.Therefore, a man is often faced with such a perplexity: if he restrains himself and refuses the help of others, he will suffer poverty and pain in silence alone, fight against his insurmountable difficulties, and gradually exhaust his strength in the struggle; Without help and something to rely on, he feels anxious and uncomfortable because he lacks foundation and is vulnerable to attack.He also feels his masculinity is in crisis, feeling lost.

3. Self-consciousness binds men

As adults, men are often blamed for their lack of initiative, their reserved demeanor, and their inactivity and playfulness.And if he's proactive, free-spirited, and likes to express himself, he has the potential to embarrass others.If he behaves too seriously, he will be told: relax, don't be so rigid; and if his behavior is casual and free, others will feel uncomfortable, call him too childish, and label him "improper behavior". "Tag of.

4. Emotionally bound men
Looking at a man's life, if he expresses his feelings easily and directly, such as shouting, laughing, and acting freely, he may be regarded as "unsteady" or neurotic.If he is careful to control his feelings, he will become cautious, inexpressive, ignorant of his own and other people's feelings, and people will think he is "cold."Therefore, they always feel at a loss in this contradiction.

5. Identity binds men
Usually, a man who succeeds brilliantly at work is a dominant, challenging man, but at home he must be a different style: amiable, warm and considerate, affectionate, selfless.If a man wants to unite his emotions at home with his emotions at work, then he will become a person who does nothing at work if he is unified with the latter, and he may be very rough at home if he is unified with the former.If he tries to be perfect in everything, he must have a double personality, control his behavior in different situations, and not treat himself fairly, so he will pay a heavy price.

6. Awareness of success binds men

If a man is a leader or manager, he must be fair, not sentimental, in his dealings with others, and he must learn to be a complete human being, warm, caring, loving, and generous.But in fact, none of these quality orientations coincided with the laws of competition that he learned at the same time.Men have to compete in order to achieve, and that means alienating others.Therefore, a man who chooses to be successful will often find that he is actually a complete loser in the end.

In a word, these many shackles have put an indelible shackle on men's hearts, so they either choose to remain silent in front of women, or use hypocrisy to cover up the real world in their hearts.Only when a smart woman understands these shackles that bind a man can she successfully use the technique of "scouring the sand with big waves" to "scoop out" the truest heart of a man.

Five Signs of a Silent Man

Men are always careful and avoid exposing their weaknesses as much as possible, especially in a crisis, they tend to close themselves with silence.Specifically, a man's silence has the following five manifestations:
1. Discreet silence

Sometimes men are used to taking prudence as their life principle. When they are uncertain, they choose to remain silent, and they are used to expressing their position through practical actions.Men will sit next to their friends for hours without saying a word, just drinking and smoking with them, but they can understand their friends' feelings better.

2. Weary silence

Boys have received the "backbone" education of conquering the world, standing upright, and taking responsibility since childhood.When they are adults, no matter how much pressure they are under, they cannot vent through crying, flush through tears, and discharge through talking like women.The only thing they can do is keep silent.Reflect in silence, recuperate in silence, gain momentum in silence, and lick wounds in silence.At this time, all he needs is time and space to flow quietly, no comfort, no inquiries of concern, one or two hours of silence is enough.

3. Creative Silence

Sometimes a man is silent because he is thinking about some strange questions in his head. Don’t disturb his thinking, because he is practicing in seclusion. If you ask him this and that, in his view, you are like a buzzing fly , will only annoy him.

4. Covert silence

Men are animals that don't like to expose themselves, so they often use lies to cover themselves, but some men are honest by nature, and they blush and heartbeat when they tell a lie. At this time, they will choose to remain silent, making you feel that they are mysterious.Therefore, when a man chooses to remain silent in the face of your problems, nine times out of ten, something has happened.

5. Regretful silence

Primary school students make mistakes, and they will choose to remain silent when the teacher criticizes them.The same is true for men, if they make a mistake, realize it, and regret it in their hearts, then don't criticize him again and again, force him to admit his mistakes, write a letter of repentance, or a letter of guarantee.

In short, for men, silence is not because they cannot talk freely because they have no eloquence, nor is it because they are empty in their stomachs that they cannot say a word. Threats to life, of course, in order to maintain a private space of tranquility.A smart woman should see clues from a man's silence, so as to make a positive response, and cannot be helpless when a man is silent.

A man's "heart" is hidden in the music

Music is one of the common languages ​​of all human beings. Our life is inseparable from music, especially for those men who are used to silence, leaving music often makes them feel boring.

It can be said that the music that men listen to when they are silent is just a kind of dialogue and communication. Therefore, if we understand men's music, it is tantamount to deciphering the "code" of their hearts. What secrets do they have? What about hiding from us?

1. A man listening to classical music
A man likes to listen to classical music, which shows that he is a rational person, so in many cases he knows better than ordinary people how to conduct self-reflection and self-accumulation, so as to keep the things that are very important to him, and put those dispensable things, even Some dross is discarded.Most of these men are very lonely, and few people can really go into their hearts to understand and know them, so music has become their spiritual partner to a certain extent.

2. The man listening to rock music

Most of these men are dissatisfied with the society and somewhat cynical. They need to vent their many emotions in the form of rock and roll.They often feel confused and uneasy, and they need someone to lead them to gradually regain their lost self.They like to socialize with like-minded people, and they are afraid of being alone and lonely.

3. The Man Listening to Country Music
Men who like country music are mostly unusually sensitive people.They often show excessive concern for some issues. They are so smooth, sophisticated, sophisticated, calm, and not easily angry.Their personalities are generally gentle, friendly, and not aggressive.They prefer a life of stability and abundance.

4. The Man Listening to Jazz

Men like to listen to jazz, which shows that there are more emotional components in their characters than rationality. They only do things based on their own feelings, while ignoring the objective reality.They like a free and unrestrained life, hoping to get rid of everything that controls them.Most of their lives are composed of many different aspects, and these aspects are always contradictory to each other, thus covering them with a veil of mystery and making them full of charm in front of people.

5. The man listening to the opera
Men who like opera are mostly conservative.They are generally more emotional people, but they can always control their emotions and will not attack at will.They are more serious and responsible in doing things, they are very demanding on themselves, they always ask to show their best side, and strive to be perfect.

6. Man listening to background music
Men like to listen to background music, which shows that their imagination is particularly rich, but their attitude towards life is a bit out of touch with reality, which makes them have many inevitable disappointments.Fortunately, they are better at self-regulation and can face life again, but their fantasy has not diminished.Their senses are quite keen, and they are often able to capture many things inadvertently.They enjoy socializing with people, even with unfamiliar people.

7. The man listening to pop music
Simplicity is the theme of pop music. This is not to say that men who like pop music are all simple, but at least they are pursuing a relatively simple and free lifestyle, and let themselves be a little more relaxed and happy.

8. The man listening to decadent music
Men who like decadent music mostly have a serious sense of inferiority complex, and their personalities are somewhat contradictory.They hate being alone and lonely, and long to communicate with others, but it is difficult for them to establish a better relationship with others.In this case, they will have a rebellious psychology, and decadent music just satisfies this psychology.Men who like decadent music tend to be violent and self-destructive.

In short, if you know the music a man likes, you can also understand the inner world of a man. If you meet a man with a very cold appearance, you might as well take a look at his favorite music. Maybe you will find that his heart is actually very casual .

Dietary preferences VS men's psychology
Although most men don't like "talking", they all like "eating". What these two things have in common is that they both have something to do with "mouth".So, can we see a man's mind through "eating"?The answer is yes.

Men's dietary preferences really reveal their psychological characteristics.For example, some men like to eat and chew when they are in a bad mood, and use this method to resolve the sullenness in their hearts; while some men have no appetite at all when they are in a bad mood, and they can't eat anything, just "for Yixiao makes people haggard."This shows that there is an inevitable connection between diet and a man's personality, temperament and psychology.In fact, this has been confirmed by a large number of studies by British behavioral psychologists.

1. A hot-tempered man with a hot temper

Observe the man around you, if he is a spicy person, then he must be more "violent".This type of men is sanguine in character, they are often warm and generous towards others, but they are also very scary when they lose their temper, just like the old chili pepper, chewing one will make your ears buzzing.

2. A man with a sweet tooth has a gentle personality
Although generally only women like sweets, sweets are not exclusive to women. Some men also prefer sweets.The personality of this type of man is often mild and belongs to the phlegmatic temperament.They are cautious, conservative in dealing with the world, and unwilling to take risks.In terms of geography, people in Shanghai, Jiangsu and Zhejiang are more fond of sweets, and you must be familiar with the "Shanghai Good Man" nourished by sweets.If a woman wants to marry a Shanghai man, she doesn't have to worry about the inside and outside.

3. Men who like to eat rice are often self-absorbed
Men who like to eat rice are often self-indulgent, narcissistic and self-admiring. They handle people and things decently and are more accommodating, but they have a poor spirit of mutual assistance.

4. Men who like to eat pasta are weak-willed

A man who likes to eat pasta is eloquent, boastful, does not consider the consequences and impact, will not be firm, and easily loses confidence in doing things.

5. Men who love fried food take risks
Men who like to eat fried food have the courage to take risks and have the desire to do a career, but they are discouraged when they encounter setbacks.

6. Men who like to eat light food like to socialize
Men who like to eat light food pay attention to communication, are good at approaching others, hope to make friends, and do not want to go it alone.

7. Men who like to eat acidic food are not sociable
A man who likes to eat acidic food is ambitious, but withdrawn, not sociable, likes to get into a dead end when things happen, and has no close friends.

8. Men with salty taste are more stable

A man who likes to eat salty food treats others with prudence, politeness, planning and working hard, but he despises the relationship between people, which is a bit hypocritical.

It is often said that one side nourishes another person, but now it seems that a kind of eating habit can also create a type of man.Of course, there is a close relationship between our women's psychology and diet, but we won't discuss it in depth in this book.

The book has its own "man's heart"

In the eyes of psychologists, reading can not only increase a person's knowledge and connotation, but also reflect a person's personality and psychology to some extent.From the books that men like to read, we can also analyze their personality psychology.

1. A man who likes to read romance novels
This type of man is very sensitive, optimistic by nature, and has keen intuition. He usually recovers quickly from disappointment and makes a comeback.Moreover, most of them are emotional people.

2. A man who likes to read biographies
(End of this chapter)