learn psychology everyday

Chapter 10 Life Psychology--One's own happiness needs to be controlled by oneself (2)
The same situation also occurs when buying a computer.The first computer Shan Wei bought was 486, which cost more than 1 yuan at that time, and it was still assembled.Today's portable notebooks cost only a few thousand dollars, and more than 1 yuan can buy the best configuration.Shan Wei thinks that the price of goods has dropped too fast now, if he can wait a little longer, he can save a lot of money, and the computer has become Shan Wei's regretful heart disease.

Our age is an age prone to regret.Why regret it?For never has an age been so productive as ours.No matter what products are produced continuously every day, the development of the past 200 years is only equivalent to the current 10 years.Therefore, with the development of science and technology, our life and consumption have been greatly enriched, but then, regret consumption has also come. No matter when you buy something, you will always find in the near future that you spent money to buy it. Things are so worthless.Just like Shan Wei, the high-tech products bought at a high price a few years ago will be a fraction of the price a few years later.So a new term appeared—regret consumption.So, how can we effectively prevent this kind of "regret consumption"?

1. Be "budget and budget-conscious" when shopping.This kind of careful calculation does not refer to saving money, but to take an overall plan and take into account when purchasing things, and buy as you encounter, in other words, do not spend money suddenly.Because family consumption should focus on the big picture and start small.It is best to have a plan when buying things, break them down one by one, and avoid buying everything at once.

2. Think clearly before buying and consume rationally.Every time you buy something, you must plan, what to buy, what not to buy, and don't wait until you buy something to find out that you don't need what you bought.In particular, don't be affected by the temptation of advertisements and exquisite packaging, one-sided pursuit of novelty and herd mentality, which disrupts normal consumer spending.

3. Have your own opinion when buying things.No matter what you buy, you must buy what you like. Once you buy it, don’t care what others say.At the same time, you need to know what kind of things you like. For example, when buying clothes, some clothes are fashionable but the colors are monotonous, while some are of good quality but expensive. In this case, you don’t know. buy what.If there is this kind of psychology, then consumption regrets are more likely to appear.

4. Use the deferment policy of "come back another day."When you are looking forward to a certain product, don’t be in a hurry to pay for it, but suggest to yourself: “I’ll buy it another day.” After you come again another day, because of a different mood, your desire to shop may decline, and you may look back at this product again. Already disliked the item.

To overcome regret consumption, we must cultivate our reasonable decision-making ability, control our desires, strengthen our self-cultivation, read some newspapers and periodicals about consumption frequently, so as to continuously accumulate experience and lessons in purchasing and using commodities, and do not blindly imitate others, nor Blindly listening to other people's irresponsible remarks will enhance our ability to discern purchases.In particular, it is necessary to make reasonable decisions in shopping, grasp the market, and grasp the development of products, including price and quality, so that you can avoid disadvantages and pursue benefits in shopping, and reduce regrets.

Psychology class:
1. When shopping and spending, don't spend money suddenly.Household consumption should focus on the big picture and start small.It is best to have a plan when buying things, break them down one by one, and avoid all-round blooming.

2. Do not make temporary purchases without prior planning.In particular, don't be affected by the impact of advertisements and exquisite packaging, one-sided pursuit of novelty and herd mentality, disrupting normal consumer spending.

3. Avoid impulsivity and follow the value principle. The items you buy should be necessities of life. When you encounter something that you can buy or not, no matter how others rush to buy it, don't blindly follow the crowd.

Phantom and Ugly Psychology——the spiritual world of "beauties"
Phantom ugliness is dissatisfaction with one's facial features or other parts, and always wants to change it through plastic surgery. Even if it is an already good-looking appearance, forcing oneself not to accept it is actually a kind of mental illness.

Everyone has a desire for beauty, especially now that the economy is rich and people don’t have to worry about food or drink, and more people put their minds on the pursuit of beauty, so the plastic surgery industry has also developed rapidly.There is nothing wrong with pursuing beauty, but there are many incomprehensible strange things in it.Some people are obviously not ugly, but they always think that they are ugly. They keep going to various beauty clinics to do various cosmetic and plastic surgery in order to have an ideal appearance, but they are always unable to achieve the level of self-satisfaction. , So a new round of surgery began; What's more, there are many middle-aged women over 30 years old who go to various beauty hospitals, sparing a lot of money, from the face to the chest to the waist, and even the thighs. The location is re-"packaged", and many young women even take risks to cut off their already outstanding faces for various reasons.They almost became fans of plastic surgery.

Mai Na was originally a beautiful and pleasant young woman. Her husband is the owner of a small company, but due to various reasons, the business is currently in dismal condition. Due to the decrease in efficiency, Mai Na is very anxious.So she ran to the fortune-telling with her husband behind her back, but the fortune-teller thought it was because Mina's nose bridge was too low, which not only affected her bad fortune, but also affected her husband's career and fortune.Mai Na suddenly realized, "No wonder I don't have a job, and my husband's business is not going well!" After much deliberation, she decided to have a rhinoplasty.Because she was afraid that her husband would know that she had a "Keff" nose, Mai Na secretly went to the hospital for surgery while he was away to discuss business.

When the stitches were removed 5 days after the operation, Mai Na was pleasantly surprised to see that she finally had a "noble" big nose.My friends said she looked good-looking, she looked more noble than before, even her husband who dismissed her had to admit that Mai Na was much prettier after rhinoplasty.

Under the praise of everyone, Mai Na looked at herself in the mirror endlessly every day, only to find that her bags under her eyes were a bit big.Mai Na, who is now admiring plastic surgery, immediately decided to go to the hospital to get rid of her eye bags.After liposuction, Mai Na felt younger and more beautiful.So she thought it would be nice if she had a sharp and cute chin like Maggie Cheung.So I went to the hospital for another 3 months, and Maggie Cheung's sharp and cute chin came out.At this time, thanks to the husband's hard work, the company's profits rebounded slightly, and the husband's business came back to life.Mina had more excuses and clamored to make her lips smaller.

Looking at his wife who changed every day, the husband finally couldn't take it anymore and asked her what she wanted to do next.Mina, who didn't respond, announced loudly that the next step was breast augmentation... Now, Mina's husband is agreeing to divorce her because he can't stand a perverted wife who is obsessed with plastic surgery all day long when her husband's career is hindered, not to mention He can't recognize his wife now, because many parts of his wife's face are not the same.

A similar post once appeared on the Internet──"My wife loves plastic surgery, I want a divorce". After undergoing plastic surgery such as double eyelid surgery and rhinoplasty, I now want to reshape my face.Even when you go downstairs to throw garbage, you have to check whether your hair is messed up or your makeup is not neat.This made him feel that his wife was no longer what she used to be, and wanted to file for a divorce.

This is because of "phantom ugliness" and people become "cosmetic surgery fans". Patients with "Phantom Ugly Syndrome" think that they are ugly, so they keep going to various beauty hospitals to do various cosmetic and plastic surgery in order to have an ideal appearance, but they can't always reach the level of self-satisfaction, so they start new procedures again. One round of surgery.Repeatedly like this, one's own body parts are handed over to the scalpel of the doctor in the beauty hospital over and over again, and some people don't hesitate to spend a lot of money and risk their lives.When she is addicted to it like Mina and cannot extricate herself, it turns this love of beauty into a kind of mental illness.According to analysis, there are three common plastic psychology:
One is to change the mentality of defects. This type of people is the most numerous. These people have defects in one or more parts of the body due to congenital or other reasons, and they need to be repaired or changed through plastic surgery, which is a normal cosmetic behavior.Repairing the original defects and unbeauty can greatly enhance the self-confidence of the plastic surgeon.We can understand this mentality.

The second is the mentality of pursuing perfection too much. This kind of people obviously don't look at themselves with ordinary aesthetic eyes. In their eyes, the good shape and appearance are not acceptable to them. Even more beautiful, and at the cost of multiple surgeries.But plastic surgery is surgery after all, and repeated operations will bring about psychological changes.

The third is to be influenced by others, some are influenced by a star they admire, some are influenced by the people around them who have undergone plastic surgery to become more beautiful, and some choose surgery based on the advice of friends and lovers.This kind of people has no subjective thinking, which has a great impact on their postoperative life. Maybe the plastic surgery nose is very beautiful, but it looks a bit uncoordinated on their own face.

According to surveys, among those who have undergone plastic surgery, about 5% to 10% will become addicted.Jiang Qianjin, vice president of the Psychosomatic Medicine Branch of the Chinese Medical Association, believes that many people who like plastic surgery are actually affected by the "phantom ugliness" of cognitive paranoia.

It is known that most of the people who undergo plastic surgery are actually very beautiful, and their ages are concentrated between 22 and 32 years old. "Last year came a pair of sisters, both of whom were still beautiful, but they all asked for a big 'rectification'." The person in charge of a plastic surgery hospital in Hangzhou said that the younger sister is a college student. 7 surgeries including nose bridge padding, nose wing narrowing, and mandibular angle removal.My sister was not to be outdone, and took care of some parts that doctors thought were unnecessary.

Because the fear of plastic surgery will disappear after undergoing plastic surgery, but the longing for beauty will be strengthened, and it is easy to achieve beauty, so it is generally beautiful after 1 or 2 treatments, but many people think that they are not enough. continue doing.According to the survey, among all plastic surgery patients, about 2 to 20% have undergone more than 30 times, and 3 to 5% have done more than 10 times, which makes them full-fledged "cosmetic surgery fans".

This seems unbelievable to ordinary people, but it does exist.And why are some people addicted to beauty?
"Phantom ugliness" is the root of addiction.Because these beauticians believe that they are constantly pursuing perfection but always feel that they have not yet achieved the goal they are pursuing. Jiang Qianjin, vice president of the Psychosomatic Medicine Branch of the Chinese Medical Association, believes that this is actually a kind of mental illness, a typical "Phantom Ugly Syndrome" ".

The emergence of this "phantom ugliness" is because some people's aesthetic judgment is abnormal, because their understanding of their own body has been deformed. For example, people around them think her eyes are beautiful, but she herself thinks that her eyes are not double eyelids.In addition, these people's cognitive behavior is also very paranoid, and they pursue absolute standards for certain things, but they cannot achieve them no matter how hard they try.Therefore, "Phantom Ugly Syndrome" is actually a psychological disorder, which can be treated with psychological counseling and medication. However, most patients with "Phantom Ugly Syndrome" have deviations in cognitive behavior and need counseling from the perspective of personality.

Psychology class:
1. Tell yourself clearly that surgery cannot cure phantom ugliness

2. Plastic surgery is an operation after all. Repeated operations will not only bring about psychological depression, but may also make the nose pierced or the eyes more and more fake

3. It is a naive idea to save the family and solve the marital crisis through beauty behavior

Rebellious Psychology-Disciplining Children Needs Patience
Rebellious psychology refers to a psychological state in which people adopt opposite attitudes, words and deeds to the requirements of the other party in order to maintain self-esteem.

Many parents expressed that parent-child conflicts became more apparent after their children entered middle school.Especially during the holidays, some children either often surf the Internet until midnight, or spend little time with their parents even though they are at home all day, or ignore their parents at all except chatting with classmates and making phone calls.It also annoys them when their parents tell them the same thing over and over again.Even if they communicate, they think there are loopholes in what adults say, and their criticism will arouse their resentment and anger.The more he is not allowed to do something, the more he has to do it. Tell him to go east, but he wants to go west, deliberately not to let adults go his way.That is to say, during the holidays, as children spend more time with their parents, all kinds of parent-child conflicts are particularly prominent. Children's rebellious behavior in adolescence becomes more obvious, and the emotional crisis between parents and children seems to be greatly aggravated by the arrival of the holidays. intensify.In fact, the rebellious psychological phenomenon of adolescent children is a kind of psychological state in the process of adolescent growth. It is especially obvious among adolescents aged 14 to 18. Teenagers in this period are confronted with their parents, and they are very clear in their hearts. It is reasonable to do things willingly, but they deliberately disobey the will of their parents. They only care about the pleasure of confronting their parents. They are happy when they see their parents angry and sad. Parents often feel worried and even helpless when encountering this situation.But if parents understand that this is actually a common rebellious performance of children in adolescence, they don’t have to feel like a wolf like a tiger. Moreover, as parents, they should try to understand the characteristics and mentality of children in this period, and face adolescence together with their children.

When Xing Yuan was in junior high school, he liked the subject of information technology very much, but his parents asked him to make a living from the school's learning courses, not to be too obsessed with these extracurricular knowledge, and took measures with the authority of his parents to simply prohibit him from "playing computer". ", asking him how much homework he must do and how many times to practice when he comes home from school.These practices of the parents aroused Xing Yuan's extreme dissatisfaction.Since his parents didn't let him do what he wanted to do at home, he deliberately didn't study hard and let his grades plummet. Knowing that it was wrong, Xing Yuan still went his own way. He even liked to see his parents uncomfortable and anxious.After he was promoted to the third grade of junior high school and faced with the entrance examination, he realized the crisis of his academic performance.Then under the teacher's sincere and decent guidance, Xing Yuan gradually gave up his rebellion, returned to normal and entered normal study, and worked hard to get admitted to the city's key high school.After entering high school, Xing Yuan's grades also improved steadily, and in the second semester of high school, he cooperated with his classmates to develop computer software and won the Provincial Youth Science and Technology Innovation Award.

In fact, rebellious psychology is manifested in all aspects on young people.For example, in terms of learning, if parents impose their personal wishes on their children, not only will they not follow their parents' orders, but they will also take revenge and deliberately not study.Xing Yuan's parents' handling of Xing Yuan's after-school hobbies is obviously inappropriate. Parents should give correct guidance and encouragement to children's hobbies and explorations of modern technology, instead of restraining children in a simple and rude way.As parents, Xing Yuan's parents should break through the fixed model of traditional education and update the concept of family education in a timely manner.As parents of children, they should pay more attention to the development of society and their children's thoughts, and pay attention to communicating with them. After understanding their children's thoughts, they should also ask teachers for advice. Linking up, so as to jointly promote the healthy growth of children.

(End of this chapter)