learn psychology everyday

Chapter 2 Psychology of Emotions--Getting Rid of Bad Emotions (1)
In life, there are always some dissatisfaction such as discomfort, pain and setbacks, and it is these dissatisfaction that affect our mood, restrain our emotions, and deprive us of happiness.Therefore, when we encounter unsatisfactory feelings of depression or depression, we must not blindly suppress them. We must let the bad emotions vent, or divert our attention, or even pretend to be happy to overcome it, otherwise it will cause many psychological and physical diseases. .

Jealousy - The Devil That Deprives Happiness

Jealousy is a morbid state of mind, an inner emotional experience that usually stems from incorrect comparisons.For example, when you see that others are superior to yourself in some aspects (sometimes it is just a feeling) or smooth, you will feel an unbalanced emotional state that turns from envy to anger and hatred. This imbalance is compensated by negative means. Usually, negative emotions such as dissatisfaction, resentment, annoyance, and fear are inseparable from jealousy.

When a person finds himself inferior to others, instead of trying to improve himself, he degrades others. This behavior is envy.The scope of jealousy is very wide, including jealousy of people, jealousy, and jealousy.There are also various methods, some of which use gossip to maliciously slander, and some resort to despicable actions.I remember that there was such a news published in the newspaper: There was a son born to a very jealous woman who was not as good as the neighbor's son. She always felt that the neighbor's child would affect her own son in the future. In order to eliminate the anxiety in her heart, He strangled the boy and threw him into the well.This woman is the epitome of extreme envy.She originally had a happy family, but because of her strong jealousy, she personally sent herself into the abyss of sin and ruined her life's happiness.

In the human psyche there is perhaps no emotion stranger than jealousy.On the one hand, it is extremely common, almost an instinct shared by all people.On the other hand, it seemed so disgraceful that everyone wanted to hide it as a dark crime.As a result, it turns into the subconscious, like a dark fire scorching the heart of the envious person. This kind of cruel torture can really make him crazy, commit crimes and even kill people.In a market economy characterized by competition, jealousy seems to have become a more serious epidemic than SARS, a scourge of society, a demon that deprives happiness.

Li Qiong and Liu Mei are classmates in an art college in Hangzhou. They live in the same dormitory, live and study together.Not long after entering school, the two of them became inseparable friends.Li Qiong is lively and cheerful, good at singing and dancing, writing and painting, and has many friends, while Liu Mei is introverted, serious and taciturn.By the third year of junior year, Liu Mei felt more and more like an ugly duckling, while Li Qiong was like a beautiful princess, and she felt very uncomfortable.She thinks that Li Qiong is better than herself in every way, takes all the limelight, and often looks coldly at Li Qiong, but Li Qiong has never taken these emotions of Liu Mei to heart, and thinks that they are all good friends, and don't remember like her. That's it.Later, Li Qiong participated in the fashion design competition organized by the college and won the first prize. When Liu Mei heard the news, she was overwhelmed with grief, and then she was so jealous that she tore Li Qiong's entries into pieces while Li Qiong was not in the dormitory. , and threw it on her bed.After Li Qiong found out, she didn't know how to treat Liu Mei, let alone why she had to be treated like this.

The change of Li Qiong and Liu Mei from inseparable to enemy is very regrettable.The root cause of this tragedy, the key is two words - jealousy.

A jealous person tries to underestimate the ability of others to make them equal to himself, or to deprive others of their admirable achievements by doubting their motives and slandering their hypocrisy.As a result, all kinds of mentality caused by jealousy are manifested: one is passive and depressed, depressed;

As Shakespeare said: "A jealous woman produces more poison than a mad dog." Although the one who suffers from jealousy is tortured like hell, the jealous person himself is like a worm trapped in an ant's nest suffer the same.Tell me, how terrible is this?
No one suffers more than the envious man, and suffers terribly both from his own unhappiness and from the happiness of others.Envy does to the envious what rust does to iron.The reason why narrow-minded people cannot avoid the end of failure is that they have bad intentions.It's fine if you don't want others to surpass yourself. What's worse is that when you are unlucky, you want others to have a bad life.To achieve such a goal, there is really no other way but to hurt others and oneself.

Russell said: "A person who is jealous not only takes happiness from what he owns, but also takes pain from what others have." Since jealousy is like poison, we must divert it and prevent the fire of jealousy from becoming a thorn in our hearts. rope.You see, envy is essentially an unconscious glorification of the ego.Aloofness and self-righteousness are the enemies of enterprising spirit.A drop of water cannot make an ocean, and a tree cannot make a forest.Cooperation is indispensable to the success of any business, but jealousy always breaks up all cooperation.Therefore, to overcome jealousy, you and I must always remind ourselves: only you will accomplish nothing.

Baruch said: "Don't be jealous. The best way is to assume that what others can do, you can do it yourself, or even do it better." Remember, once you have jealousy, it is an admission that you are not as good as others.If you want to surpass others, you must first surpass yourself.Pope once said: "For a mean-hearted person, he is a slave to jealousy; for a learned and temperamental person, jealousy turns into a competitive heart." Believe in the excellence of others does not hinder your own progress , On the contrary, it provides yourself with a competitor, a role model, which can give you unprecedented motivation.In fact, every person who is really immersed in his career has no time to be jealous of others.

Don't let the snake of jealousy get into your heart. This snake will corrupt people's minds and destroy people's hearts.

Therefore, how to treat jealousy correctly is crucial to a person's success.Jealousy can easily alienate others and throw you off-balance. In fact, rather than envying the achievements of others, it is better to strive for them yourself.

Jealousy is concentrated in a vicious circle of psychology.In a certain environment, when some people are higher than themselves in some aspects such as talent, income, clothing, achievements, and popularity, they immediately have an emotion that turns from envy to anger or even hatred, and try to slander them in various ways. , slander others, in order to maintain psychological balance.In terms of attack methods, it depends on the individual's psychological quality and moral cultivation, and most of them appear in a secret way of contesting in secret, twists and turns.

To prevent jealousy, we must first understand the harm that jealousy can cause to our physical and mental health. We must be open-minded and get along with others with a sincere, friendly, open-minded attitude.Secondly, we must know ourselves and the enemy, make correct evaluations, understand the strengths and weaknesses of both parties, and learn to control the torrent of emotion.We must also overcome our weaknesses in character.Generally speaking, people with strong vanity and pushy are prone to jealousy; narrow-minded, selfish, sensitive and suspicious people are also prone to jealousy; weakness, dependence, extreme, arrogance and other character weaknesses are also hotbeds that induce jealousy .Finally, we must be good at turning jealousy into a positive motivation, catching up and constantly enriching ourselves, so that our potential and strengths can be fully utilized.

As for the envied, they can't hold the mentality of confronting the envied, retaliate with an eye.For the stimulation from the envious person, you should take a calm attitude, change it if there is something, and encourage if you don't have it, don't be disturbed, stick to your own path, and move forward bravely.

Everyone has jealousy.Active jealousy is the driving force for career success, while negative jealousy is a factor that breeds evil, which has been verified by countless facts.If you handle these two effects well, you will have a successful career and be recognized by the society; if you don't handle them well, you will be cast aside by others.Therefore, how to treat jealousy correctly is crucial to a person's success.Jealousy can easily alienate others and throw you off-balance. In fact, rather than envying the achievements of others, it is better to strive for them yourself.

Psychology class:
1. Enrich your life and find new self-worth

2. Learn to compare correctly and treat others dialectically

3. Improve personal morality and overcome closed and narrow consciousness

Cowardice - the root of unsatisfactory life
Cowardice is a manifestation of weakness, incompetence, fear of retreat, lack of courage, and fear of difficulties. This kind of performance will not only make people achieve nothing, but also often lead to bad interpersonal relationships due to self-enclosure. It belongs to the psychological problems of personality defects.

Cowardice refers to the personality defects of timidity, fear of getting into trouble, cowardice, and restraint.Cowardice is usually manifested as fear of difficulties and weak will; fear of setbacks and emotional fragility; fear of communication and weakness of character.Usually reticent, restrained in action, easy to submissive and submissive to others, withdrawn when things happen, extremely timid and afraid of getting into trouble, more things are worse than less things, unwilling to take the slightest risk, easily panic when encountering difficulties, do not know what to do, suffer setbacks It's easy to give up on yourself and feel ashamed.

In life, we often see some people who are timid, have poor adventurous spirit, and have weak will. When they encounter key problems, they hide back, shrink back, dare not face difficulties and pressures, and are afraid of setbacks, failures and fears. ridicule and hurt by others.I don't seek meritorious service, I only seek no faults, and I like a quiet and stable life.Don't dare to innovate, take risks.When encountering something, you will be flustered, indecisive, and worry about the weight.It can be said that these people have relatively strong cowardice.

Living in modern society, we must abandon the fear of injury and cowardice, correct our mentality, and try to live with a healthy and powerful heart, so that we can have a better start tomorrow, otherwise, cowardice will become the root of your unsatisfactory life.

Xiao Tao is studying in a famous university. Many students of this school will be proud of it. After graduation, they are very excited to join the society and work.But after Xiaotao graduated, his mood became worse and worse. He was never proud of being a student of a prestigious school. On the contrary, he was always haunted by inferiority complex.Because since he entered university, his grades have been mediocre, and he has rarely participated in school work. He feels that he is not competent. If he does not finish well, he is worried that others will laugh at him; he is also unwilling to participate in the usual group activities of his classmates. , because he dared not communicate with his classmates, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and afraid of making a fool of himself in front of his classmates.In fact, since he was a child, he didn't dare to make decisions about many things, and they were always arranged and designed by his parents.Although Xiaotao has already graduated from university, he still acts like a child and dare not make decisions.When faced with career choice, he seems to be helpless, because he doesn't know what kind of work unit he likes, what kind of work unit can accept him, and what kind of work he can complete.Although in the end rationality overcame timidity and went to various interviews and written tests, in the end he couldn't find a job because he was always worried about his lack of competitiveness.He fell into deep distress, and was even more timid about various written tests and interviews.

A student like Xiaotao easily underestimates himself in choosing a career, coupled with stage fright and lack of self-confidence, it is difficult for him to show his true strength.

In fact, no one can completely get rid of cowardice and fear, and the luckiest people sometimes have a cowardly and timid state of mind.But if it becomes a habit, it will become an emotional disease. It makes people overly cautious, cautious, worrying, and hesitant. When the goal has not been determined in the heart, it already contains the meaning of fear. , When there is a slight setback, they will shrink back, thus affecting the completion of self-designed goals.

Cowardly people are afraid of confronting conflict, of being unhappy, of hurting others, of losing face.Therefore, when choosing a career, because of cowardice, they often retreat three feet, shrink their hands and feet, and dare not recommend themselves.In front of employers, they are obsequious, either incoherent, or red-faced and tongue-tied.They are cautious, afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of answering questions badly and affecting their image in the minds of the representatives of the employer.In the face of fair competition opportunities, due to cowardice, they often fail to give full play to their talents, so that they are defeated and miss good opportunities, resulting in pessimism and disappointment, leading to a decline in self-evaluation and self-confidence.

Frank, the greatest salesman in the United States, said: "If you are a coward, then you are your own worst enemy; if you are a warrior, then you are your own best friend." Everything is impossible, just like if a pearl fisherman is frightened by a crocodile, how can he get a precious pearl?In fact, a person who is always in fear is not a free person. He will always be surrounded by various fears and worries, unable to see the road ahead, let alone the scenery ahead.As the famous French writer Montaigne said: "Whoever is afraid of suffering is already suffering because of fear." There are many disadvantages of cowardice.A coward is afraid of death, but in fact, he is no longer alive.Cowardly people are always afraid to do something boldly, and gradually form the habit of underestimating their abilities and exaggerating their weaknesses, and they no longer have the confidence to deal with things that could have been handled well.Even if they have great potential.In addition, due to cowardice, there are many worries and great mental pressure. If things go on like this, it may cause anxiety, fear, neurasthenia and other physical and mental diseases.So how to overcome the character defect of cowardice?
1.Develop a positive self-concept.Dare to discover and affirm your own strengths and achievements, and improve your self-evaluation and confidence.

2.Consciously exercise the quality of will.There are many things in life that can exercise our willpower.For example, make a work plan and stick to it; try your best to take on unfamiliar leadership, even if it is difficult at the beginning, as long as you grit your teeth and go deeper, you will find that things are not like As hard as you can imagine.As long as you succeed a few times, you will definitely increase your courage and self-confidence.

3.Prepare for the worst before accepting difficult tasks.Psychologists have asked people who suffer from cowardice to discuss their deepest fears in order to find the cause of the cowardice and predict what the worst outcome would be.Since the worst outcome is nothing more than this, what are you worried about?Just do it.It's just that in the process of doing it, we must try our best to do things better.

In short, there is nothing absolute in the world. A coward is not doomed to be cowardly forever. As long as he summons up courage, declares war against difficulties and adversity, and takes action, he begins to become a warrior.Just as Lu Xun said: "May the young people in China get rid of the air-conditioning, just go up, and don't have to listen to the words of those who give up on themselves. Those who can do things do things, those who can make a sound, have a part of heat and a part of light, just like a firefly. Shine a little light in the dark, don't wait for the torch."

The most hateful thing in life is to live a life timidly. Since God let us be born in this world, we should take up our responsibilities and obligations as human beings, and write the big "human" character well.

Psychology class:
1.The more difficult the job, the more courageous you are to undertake it, bite the bullet, grit your teeth, and force yourself to go deeper.

2. Keep asking yourself difficult questions, and keep practicing the method of overcoming cowardice.

3. Interact with people who are older and stronger than you.

Vanity—the poison of slow self-suicide

Vanity refers to the psychological state of protecting one's self-esteem in a false way. It is a superficial pursuit of glory and brilliance. It is an excessive pursuit of honor and a deformed reflection of moral responsibility in personal psychology. , is a bad psychological quality, its essence is the emotional reflection of egoism.

When it comes to vanity, probably everyone will say it's bad in unison.However, people are always a bit vanity. Men mostly pursue their own reputation, status, rights, money, cars, etc., while women pursue clothing, appearance, husband, and house. It is for survival and food and clothing. It can no longer be like what Lao Tzu said in "Choices": "Rare goods make people rule as a sage, for the stomach and not for the eyes, so go to the other and take this." Because everyone is different. It is understandable to like oneself to be behind and inferior to others in any aspect. A certain amount of vanity within morality and law is understandable, but excessive pursuit of vanity can lead to the loss of morality in small cases, and lead to the abyss of crime in large cases.Because people with a lot of vanity often use fame and fortune as the internal motivation to control their actions, and they always care about others' evaluation of themselves.Once others deny me a little bit, I think I have lost my so-called self-esteem and I can't bear it. Over time, it is like taking the poison of slow suicide, and I am in a very unhealthy situation.

The famous Italian sculptor Michelangelo once carved a stone statue in Florence. When he saw this work that condensed all his skills, he was also proud of himself.When the work was previewed, the people of Florence were empty, and they were amazed by his creation.

In the end, even the mayor of Florence came to visit. Many dignitaries gathered around the statue and whispered, waiting for the mayor to express his opinion.

The mayor glanced haughtily at the statue and asked, "Is the author here?"

Michelangelo was invited to the mayor, and the mayor said: "The stone carver, I think the nose of this stone statue is a little low, which affects the artistic atmosphere of the whole statue."

After hearing this, Michelangelo said: "Dear mayor, I will heighten the nose of the stone statue according to your request."

(End of this chapter)