learn psychology everyday

Chapter 3 Psychology of Emotions--Getting Rid of Bad Emotions (2)
After speaking, Michelangelo asked his assistant to take out the tools and carry the stone powder to process the nose of the stone statue.Michelangelo dusted stone powder on the nose of the statue.After wiping for a while, he came to the mayor and said: "Dear mayor, I have raised the nose of the stone statue according to your request. Do you think it is still okay now?"

The mayor looked at it and nodded, "The stone carver, it's much better now, this is the perfect art."

After the mayor left, Michelangelo's assistant was puzzled and asked: "You just smeared three handfuls of stone powder on the nose of the stone statue, and the nose of the stone statue has not been raised at all." Taller."

It is said that the stone statue still stands on the streets of Florence. Anyone who knows the origin of the stone statue knows such a proverb: the vanity of the rich and powerful is the three handfuls of stone powder on the nose of the stone statue.

Vanity is a psychological state of protecting one's self-esteem in an inappropriate and false way, and it is an abnormal social emotion manifested in order to gain honor and attract general attention.Simply put, the so-called vanity is distorted self-esteem.

Why do people have vanity?This has to do with human needs.There are many kinds of human needs, including physiological needs, safety needs, belonging and love needs, respect needs, self-actualization needs, and so on.When a person's needs exceed his ability to bear, he will want to use inappropriate means to satisfy his self-esteem, which creates vanity.Driven by their vanity, vain people often only pursue the appearance of good looks, regardless of the actual conditions, and finally cause harm.Sometimes even a criminal motive is created, with very serious consequences.The heart of the vain is actually empty.Their superficial vanity and inner emptiness are always in constant struggle: before their vanity is satisfied, they suffer because they are not as good as others;The mind of a vain person will always be miserable, and there will be no happiness at all.

So, how to recognize vanity and change vanity?
[-]. Change cognition and realize the harm caused by vanity.

People with strong vanity will unconsciously infiltrate selfishness, hypocrisy, fraud and other factors in their thoughts, which are incompatible with virtues such as modesty, prudence, being aboveboard, and not trying to make a name for themselves.The vain man does good for the sake of praise, and is complacent about praise and success, even to the point of deceit.They try to cover up their shortcomings, they don't like it and they are not good at learning from each other's strengths.A vain person is strong on the outside but does not dare to reveal his heart, which brings a heavy psychological burden on himself.Vanity can only be satisfied temporarily in reality, and long-term vanity will lead to the breeding of unhealthy emotional factors.

[-]. Correct your outlook on life and values.

The realization of self-worth cannot be divorced from the needs of social reality. The understanding of self-worth must be based on a sense of social responsibility, and a correct understanding of the connotation of power, status, and honor and the true meaning of personality and self-esteem.

[-]. Get rid of the psychological dilemma of conformity.

Herd behavior has both positive and negative sides.For a good fashion in the society, it is necessary to vigorously promote it, so that people feel an invisible pressure, so that the herd behavior occurs.If some unhealthy trends and unhealthy tendencies in the society are allowed to spread, it will also create a kind of pressure and make some weak-willed people follow the trend.Vanity can be said to be the deterioration and expansion brought about by the negative effects of herd behavior.For example, it is popular in society to focus on ostentation in eating and drinking, spacious housing, and high-end entertainment.In order to avoid being ridiculed by others, people who are outdated in lifestyle ignore their own objective reality, blindly follow the trend of design, swollen their faces to make them fat, and cause them to work hard and lose money, and they are heavily in debt. This is a completely self-deceiving practice.Therefore, we must have a clear head, face reality, seek truth from facts, proceed from our own reality to deal with problems, and get rid of the negative effects of herd mentality.

4. Adjust psychological needs.

Needs are the reflection of physiological and social requirements in the human brain, and are the basic driving force of human activities.People have physiological needs related to food, rest, sleep, sex, etc. to maintain the organism and continue the race, have social needs for communication, labor, morality, beauty, knowledge, etc., and have material needs for air, water, clothing, books, etc. , There are spiritual needs for cognition, creation and communication.A person's life is spent in the constant satisfaction of needs.After all, people cannot be equated with animals. Marx pointed out: "Hunger is always hungry, but the hunger that is relieved by eating cooked meat with a knife and fork is different from the hunger that is relieved by gnawing raw meat with hands, nails and teeth." Under these conditions, some needs are reasonable and some needs are irrational.For a middle school student, the requirement for normal nutrition is reasonable, while the need for actual ostentation is unreasonable.It is reasonable to need clean and tidy clothing that fits students’ status, but it is unreasonable to wear heavy makeup and wear gold and silver in order to follow the fashion and pay too much attention to appearance.We must learn to be content with ourselves and think more about what we get in order to achieve our own psychological balance.

The French philosopher Bergson said: "All evil deeds revolve around vanity, and are nothing but a means to satisfy vanity." Although his words may not be completely correct, they at least reflect a considerable part of the reality of life.Let us use the weapon of seeking truth from facts to overcome vanity!
Psychology class:
1.Facing your own living environment calmly
2.If vanity is not excessive, it is not a bad thing, so don’t worry too much about it
3.treat honor correctly
4.Treat public opinion correctly
Impetuousness - the catalyst for doing nothing
Impetuousness is a kind of anxiety in the spirit of people. It is a busy, superficial, chaotic and disorderly state of mind that people present under the premise of unclear life goals.

Chinese culture has given people a calm and reserved feeling since ancient times, just like Tai Chi, calm and calm, neither rush nor impetuous.However, in fact, Chinese people have been admonishing them to guard against arrogance and impetuosity since ancient times. "The Analects of Confucius" said, "haste makes waste, and small gains lead to great failure." There are also "small intolerance, big plans", "think twice before acting", etc., all of which warn us to be down-to-earth and calm in everything. , guard against arrogance and impetuosity.

A young writer was recommended by a well-known old writer and became famous. As a result, various newspapers and periodicals flooded him with drafts, and he was overwhelmed and fell into a state of being overwhelmed.But he cherishes the care of the editorial departments of these newspapers and periodicals very much, and he doesn't want to lose contact easily, so he "plays both ways" and responds to requests.He wrote novels, essays, essays, creative experience, everything, and even drafted advertisements for some manufacturers, and wrote family histories for upstarts.As a result, the income was quite good, and it didn't take long for him to join the ranks of those who got rich first.However, what followed was a decline in the level of works and a devaluation of reputation.He was very distressed that his original achievements in novel creation were diluted by various "works" in a mess.The teacher of this young writer has been paying attention to his changes, and pointedly pointed out to him that this is the result of impetuousness, and it is inevitable that he cannot withstand the temptation of fame and fortune.

Modern society is a diversified society, full of opportunities and challenges, and the temptation of interests everywhere.If a person does not have a clear goal in life, and does not have the unswerving spirit to achieve this goal, he will be easily tempted by temporary interests or satisfaction.Impetuousness is an emotion, an undesirable attitude towards life.

Impetuousness is the enemy of work and study.Those who suffer from this disease may feel restless and do nothing at the slightest level, and may go astray without distinguishing between good and evil.In my spare time, or on weekends, although there is a quiet learning environment, modern media, especially TV, telephone, computer, radio, etc., flood in with a lot of information, which makes people feel dazzled.Coupled with the ever-changing and colorful external environment, people are greatly tempted. Therefore, how to stay away from impetuousness and concentrate on learning has become a test for us to learn from the sea.

Impetuousness not only makes people lose their calmness of thought and psychological balance, but also makes them no longer use their brains to think, but use their eyes and ears to think, and what they see and hear is what they hear.Impetuous people no longer consider their own strengths and weaknesses, but only compare the paths and results with others.

There was a young man who was from a poor family and lived a life of lack of food and clothing since he was a child.He believed that the only reason for his family's poverty was lack of money, and he also knew that the only way to get rid of his family's difficulties was to make money quickly.

One day, he went to visit a rich man and asked him what kind of business would make the fastest money?The rich man told him: You should learn from money, money makes money the fastest.The young people thought, this doesn’t mean they didn’t say anything. I don’t know how to use money to make money even though I have money, and I still need to learn from money?This is the virtue of rich people.

He went to ask a person who specializes in money, and the researcher told him: money is spiritual, and it will not run around like a blind person.It always flows to the person who understands it and masters it and works hardest, the young man thought, this person is too pedantic.If money is really spiritual, why doesn't it save the poor?Therefore, money is really blind, rich people do not lack money, it just keeps running to them.

Going around in circles, the young man felt that he had gained nothing. If he wanted to ask others for advice, it would be better to put it into action himself.So, he borrowed a sum of money from others, and crashed into the futures market, which he thought was the quickest to get money.It didn't take long for his money to shrink quickly like a piece of inferior cloth, without even a sound, it changed from big to small and finally disappeared.

As a result, he not only became a pauper, but also became a debtor who was chased by creditors all day long. At this time, he also understood the power of money.He had no choice but to honestly run into the rich man's house and continue to ask for advice. The rich man said, "Look carefully at how I make money." playing tricks on him.When the rich man saw that he still didn't understand, he said: I study every day where money likes best, and where is the most suitable place for money to grow and grows fastest, so I put money there.This is a great knowledge, you should not underestimate it. .

He found a researcher again, and the researcher gave him a batch of bibliographies, saying that money has specialized knowledge, you must not underestimate it, it is not something that anyone can earn if they want to, when you want to enter Before investing in the capital market, it is best to understand its character first, because it has a very strong temper.

After listening to their words, the impetuous heart of the young man finally calmed down. He learned the specialized knowledge of money, and soon, he finally got his first pot of gold in the capital market.When he went back to experience the words of the rich and researchers, he just realized what the power of knowledge is.

In this story, the young man's impetuous heart made him not sure to spend time and energy to consider and implement other people's suggestions, but he thought that what others said was all nonsense, which was the main reason why he was always poor and inactive.Later, he understood that among the secrets of making a fortune, only by overcoming impetuousness and eagerness for success can he calm down, learn professional knowledge steadily, and master it well, and money will naturally come to him.

Once a person is impetuous and eager for quick success, he must be blind and fanatical, chasing fame and fortune, hoping to get rich quickly and become famous immediately, then he cannot be down-to-earth and patient, and he is unwilling to use his brain to think about problems and spend his energy on doing things.The result is: going into battle without any material and spiritual preparations, being frivolous and flamboyant, overjoyed, irritable, in a hurry, engaged in haste, and ended hastily.In the end, impetuousness can only become a catalyst for doing nothing, making you accomplish nothing even more.

So, how can we overcome impetuous psychology?
1.Know yourself and your enemy when comparing. "Only by comparison can one distinguish." Comparison is an important way for people to gain self-knowledge. However, comparison must be obtained, that is, "know yourself and the enemy." Only by knowing yourself and the enemy can you know whether they are comparable.For example, whether the abilities, knowledge, methods, and inputs of the two people being compared are the same, otherwise they cannot be compared, and the conclusions drawn in this way will be false.With this article, people's psychological imbalance will be greatly reduced, and those feelings of restlessness and loss will not arise.

2.Be pragmatic.Pragmatism is the spirit of "seeking truth from facts, not self-righteousness", which is the basis for innovation and change.Without pragmatism, remodeling is just a trick, and everyone should understand this truth.

3.Be good at thinking when things happen.When thinking about problems, we should start from reality and not follow our feelings.The goal must be realistic, the process must be solid, and truly be a pragmatic and hardworking person.

Psychology class:
1. Aim high.Only by setting ideals and pursuits higher, careers and responsibilities more important, fame and wealth and enjoyment less, and truly persist in taking learning as the fundamental way to improve one's own quality, can one stay away from impetuosity.

2. Resist temptation.People have self-knowledge.Only by calmly analyzing your own strengths and weaknesses, weaknesses and advantages, advantages and disadvantages, and then based on reality, setting goals, formulating measures, and putting them into practice, can success be possible.

Anger--the Natural Enemy That Destroys Good Emotions
Anger is a tense and unpleasant emotion caused when a wish cannot be realized or an action to achieve the goal is frustrated. It is a psychological state caused by people's dissatisfaction with objective things.

"You fire, fire, fire?" It was originally a secret agent in a movie who said when he felt guilty and anxious, but later it became a joke when people ridicule others for their impatience, anger, and anger.There is an acquaintance who is very angry, complains whenever he is in a bad mood, and doesn't like anything.And his wife teased him humorously every time: "What are you hot, hot, hot?" He immediately broke into a smile when he heard this sentence, and his anger in his heart was resolved by his wife's humor.

"Get angry", which is called anger in psychology, is a psychological state caused by people's dissatisfaction with objective things.According to a psychological study in the United States, the duration of most people's anger is from one minute to two days, with an average of 1 minutes.Objectively speaking, anger is not all a negative psychological quality.In special cases, it manifests as a catharsis of the sense of justice.Such as avenging comrades with anger on the battlefield, repelling the enemy's crazy counterattack, blocking the enemy's gun hole with his chest angrily like Huang Jiguang, etc.But more expressions of anger are an emotional response to setbacks.The ancients said "anger starts from the heart, hate grows from the gut", which shows that angry behavior is a behavior that is unwilling to adopt when the mind is normal, and is inconsistent with your wishes.Extreme anger can drive you into a frenzy and cause you to lose self-control.From a psychological point of view, ordinary anger will interfere with the communication of ideas among people, hinder the exchange of harmonious feelings, and even endanger people's future.

Lao Tzu also said: "People in the world have different natures. All things go forward and follow, some are slow and some are impatient. Some are strong, some are weak, some are stable, and some are dangerous. The sage just removes the extreme, Extravagant and excessive things. Therefore, a sage follows nature and does not act recklessly.” Qian Yufen, a professor of modern psychology, told us that everyone has emotions, even if it is a big shot, getting angry is not a big deal.To put it bluntly, anger is just an adverse emotional reaction caused by strong external stimuli, and it is a truly natural thing in people.

You see, the great Mr. Sun Yat-sen got angry because of a momentary carelessness, and was even refuted face to face by his subordinates.

One day, Sun Yat-sen found in Hu Hanmin's office a large pile of warrants issued by him but shelved by Hu Hanmin.He was furious and couldn't help but slapped the table and shouted loudly: "Zhantang! Zhantang!"

Hu Hanmin hurried in and looked at Sun Yat-sen, as if he didn't understand why he lost his temper.

Sun Yat-sen turned pale and shouted: "I don't believe this is true, such a thing is impossible!"

"Sir, what exactly are you talking about?"

Sun Yat-sen turned Hu Hanmin's briefcase upside down at once, and poured out a pile of dusty documents from it.His brows were furrowed and his aura was menacing, heralding the coming of a storm. "What do you still ask me? Look at what you have done!" Sun Yat-sen scolded loudly.

Hu Hanmin stood still, turned his face slightly, and listened attentively to Sun Yat-sen's reprimand. At last he asked, "Do you have anything else to say, sir?"

Sun Yat-sen said with a straight face: "No more!"

Hu Hanmin rushed to the table with a "huh", grabbed the documents, handed them under Sun Yat-sen's nose one by one, and defended himself eloquently: "This warrant is related to promotion, dismissal, improper handling, and reasonable It should not be issued; that warrant is about the deployment of troops and generals, it is not appropriate, and if it is issued, it will delay the military opportunity; and these few are about the appropriation of too much or too little, which is to be considered separately."

"Even in the era of autocracy," Hu Hanmin said sharply, "there were stories of ministers denying imperial edicts and asking the emperor to take them back. For example, Emperor Taizong of Tang used Guo Chenggu as the defense envoy of Huazhou, and Lu Zai in Shizhong Because Guo Chenggu was just and upright, he repeatedly rejected the edict, thinking that he should not be placed in another county, so he also sealed and returned the edict. Taizong accepted it readily and immediately resumed Guo Chenggu's original post. Have you ever read this history, sir? "

"I have read it."

"At that time, Mr. personally drafted the oath of membership of the Chinese Revolutionary Party, and there was a clause of 'executing orders carefully'. Do you still remember?"

"remember."

Hu Hanmin spoke hastily, as if he was afraid of losing his upper hand, "Reconciling Ding Nai, Prime Minister Yin and Yang, it was the prime minister's job. Although I don't have the name of prime minister, I have the truth. Excuse me, sir, today's affairs Am I exercising my due authority and fulfilling my due responsibilities?"

Sun Yat-sen stared at the other party without saying a word.

"Sir, I'm asking you for advice." Hu Hanmin was aggressive.

This incident really embarrassed Mr. Sun Yat-sen.

With Mr. Sun Yat-sen's mind and courage, who would have thought that he would behave like a grumpy person?It can be seen that even great men are not immune to anger.

(End of this chapter)