Waiting for the eternity of the moment

Chapter 39: Have You Ever Loved Me (2)
When did the conversation between the two of them become so polite and strange?Han Haoxuan also didn't understand why he had to lie to Ruo Lin.Obviously did not agree to Anxi's request to get back together, obviously there is no other woman around, and obviously there is only Ruolin in his heart, only her, why would he lie?

Maybe he did this just to force her to tell the truth. He hoped that she would admit defeat first and tell him that she, like him, still thought of him and loved him.But she just didn't say it.

"Ouch—" There was another retch, Ruolin couldn't help it anymore, she covered her mouth and ran out.

"Ruolin, what's wrong with you?" Han Haoxuan got up and followed out.

Ruo Lin vomited so heartbroken in the bathroom that she almost spit out tears.

After vomiting, she came to the sink, turned on the faucet, picked up a handful of water to rinse her mouth, and washed her face.

She looked haggard in the mirror.She hasn't been eating well recently, so she throws up whatever she eats.She regretted agreeing to Han Haoxuan to come to the restaurant.

"Ruo Lin, what's the matter with you? Are you really alright?" Han Haoxuan hurriedly asked when he saw Ruolin coming out of the bathroom.

Ruolin shook her head and replied, "It's fine."

"I'll take you to the hospital. What's the matter with vomiting like this?" Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to support Ruolin.

"I can go by myself." Ruo Lin glanced at his hand, and he moved it away.

"You are still the same, you like to be brave." Han Haoxuan said helplessly.

It wasn't until Han Haoxuan was about to check out after dinner that Ruo Lin began to talk about the real purpose of meeting him: "Did you see a notebook with a black cover when you went to my place last time?"

"What notebook?" Han Haoxuan deliberately pretended to be confused.

"A notebook I keep in a drawer, a notebook that records my private diary."

"Oh, is it the book that records the deep love between you and Mu Jing?" Han Haoxuan actually expected that Ruo Lin would find him because of the diary, but he didn't expect it to be so soon, and he didn't expect that she would meet him this time just for that. A broken book!

"Then you've seen it? How can you casually look through other people's things?" Ruolin was a little dissatisfied.

"I'm not interested in peeping, I just saw it by accident."

"The book is gone, is it hidden by you?"

"Do you think it's possible for me to keep that notebook? You're not looking for me this time just because of that notebook, are you?" Han Haoxuan was really sad.Is the relationship between him and Ruolin not as good as such a book with a long history that is worthy of nostalgia?
"Yes. I'm looking for you because of that book." Ruolin didn't intend to deny it either.

"I accidentally splashed water on that book, and then threw it away." Han Haoxuan said calmly, as if talking about an unimportant matter.

"Throw it away?" Ruo Lin stood up, staring at Han Haoxuan.

"Yes, help you dispose of the garbage." Han Haoxuan knew that Ruolin was angry, but he was still able to say these words calmly.

"Han Haoxuan, don't be so self-righteous. Maybe it is rubbish to you, but it is a treasure to me, a unparalleled treasure in the world! Tell me, where did you throw it? You must help me find it !" Ruolin felt that it was a memory of her childhood, and Han Haoxuan had no right to deal with it.

"I've been throwing it away for so long, and the possibility of getting it back is gone. Can I just buy a new copy for you?"

"Don't talk so casually, that book can't be bought. Have you ever heard that memories can be bought with money? Don't think you can do whatever you want if you have money!" Ruo Lin's voice trembled a little, her face Also flushed with excitement, "Han Haoxuan, why do you think you threw away my diary?"

"Then why do you keep that book until now? You even fell in love with me, and you still keep it, and put it in such a close place. Have you ever understood my feelings?" Han Haoxuan asked her back.

"Didn't you keep things related to your former girlfriend? It's a memory of a person's past, a memory that cannot be erased."

"I didn't keep it. After we broke up, I didn't keep everything about Anxi, including the photos. But, Ruolin, I kept everything related to you. Do you know why?"

"..." Ruo Lin was stopped by the question.

"Because I care about you more! I still love you!" Han Haoxuan also stood up. He walked to her side, pulled her into his arms, and hugged her tightly, "You give me this time I'm very happy to ask me out on the phone. I don't want to quarrel with you. If you care about that book, I can only say sorry to you. Because I threw it away on impulse, and I can't get it back. You said memories It cannot be bought with money, I agree. But can you have more me and less Mu Jingyan in your memory? Is my request too much?"

"..." Ruo Lin didn't know how to answer.Suddenly remembering what Han Haoxuan said just now about inviting her to a wedding drink, he glanced at Han Haoxuan's hand on her shoulder and said, "You are about to get married, please respect yourself."

Han Haoxuan snorted coldly, but didn't let go: "You really believe the nonsense I just said! I won't just accept a new relationship before I sort out my own ideas. I'm not like some people who clearly like others in my heart I like it so much, but I just refuse to admit it, and I just suffocate myself to death."

Ruolin could tell that the "certain people" Han Haoxuan was referring to was her.But what she didn't understand was who the "others" in the "like others" he said were.Was it about himself or Mu Jingyan?She was a little confused.

"I have to go." Ruo Lin stretched out her hand to push Han Haoxuan's hand away, "Besides, I don't want to have any contact with you in the future."

"You want to sever ties with me just because of a broken book? Is it okay to remain friends after breaking up?" Han Haoxuan spoke very fast, his breathing was a little short, and his chest heaved slightly due to excitement.

"I'm sorry, I can't do it." Ruo Lin lowered her head, not looking at his expression.She was afraid of being soft-hearted.

"You woman..." Han Haoxuan really didn't know what to say, why is she so hard-hearted? "I was wondering if you ever loved me."

"We've all broken up, and there's no point in entangled in love or not. Han Haoxuan, we are all adults, and we have to be responsible for our actions. You said let me go, so you have to do what you say. There's no need to pester me." Cleared up." Ruo Lin said in a low voice, then picked up her bag, ready to leave.

"But I said, if you leave and I feel happy, I will let you go. Tell me, are you happy now?" Han Haoxuan grabbed Ruolin's arm quickly.

"Happiness." Ruo Lin blurted out almost without hesitation.

"Look at me and say, I want you to look at me and say, your eyes won't lie." Han Haoxuan pressed Ruo Lin's shoulder, pulled her over, and faced him.

Ruo Lin still didn't dare to look up at him, she didn't speak for a long time.

The air seemed to freeze.

Han Haoxuan stretched out his hand to lift Ruo Lin's chin, and found that there were tears in her eyes!
"Are you crying?" Han Haoxuan's tone suddenly softened.

"Don't force me to say what I don't want to say." Ruo Lin's tone was almost pleading.Can she be happy?She loves him, is pregnant with his child, but cannot be with him.Moreover, she and his child will completely disappear from this world in a few days, and she has already made an appointment with the doctor... Thinking of these, she couldn't help but burst into tears.

Han Haoxuan picked up the napkin from the table and wiped away the tears from the corners of Ruo Lin's eyes: "I haven't seen you cry yet. Could it be that being with him is unhappy?"

"Han Haoxuan, you don't understand my heart at all!" Ruo Lin dropped those words, then turned around stubbornly, trotted all the way out.She couldn't stay with him like this any longer, and she was afraid that she would throw herself into his arms and cry loudly, and everything she had done would be in vain.After finally leaving him, and finally letting Zhang Kuang's wound heal, she didn't want to make any more troubles.

Han Haoxuan was stunned for a moment, then chased after him: "I'll take you back."

Ruolin didn't go far, she just walked to the door of the hotel.Han Haoxuan walked over quickly and took her hand: "What do you mean by that sentence just now? Can you explain it clearly?"

"It's not interesting." The night wind blew, and Ruolin woke up a lot.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I didn't cry, it's because my eyes hurt a little." Ruolin denied that she had cried just now.

"Since you don't want to tell the reason, I won't ask. However, I hope you can always remember one thing: I hope you can live a happy life more than anyone else." Han Haoxuan said emotionally.In the night, he just looked at Ruolin so seriously, his obsidian-like eyes seemed to be shining with a strange light.

At that moment, Ruolin only felt that her cheeks were burning hot, and her heart became extremely soft in an instant.She is still fascinated by his sweet words.It's been so long, why do you still have feelings for him?She scolded herself in her heart for being worthless.

(3)

On the way Han Haoxuan drove Ruolin back, the two of them remained silent, but in fact they had their own thoughts.

Ruolin turned her gaze to the city covered by neon lights outside the window.

There are many high-rise buildings standing beside the road, and many windows of the buildings are filled with orange light, which looks very warm.

If there was a light always on for her, waiting for her, why would she choose to refuse?But who will light the warmest lamp for her?Is it Mu Jingyan, or someone she has never met?She never thought that the person who left a lamp for her was Han Haoxuan.Han Haoxuan said that he likes freedom. Not only is he domineering, he also likes to let his temper go. He usually does whatever he wants without discussing it with her at all.Even if he left a lamp for her, it wouldn't emit a warm light, it would only emit a light that was too strong and hot, and she couldn't bear that light, so it would burn.How can a love that is too strong and domineering be suitable for her?Her ideal love is not vigorous, but flat and smooth.This kind of love is easier to last.

Perhaps because the atmosphere in the car was too silent, Han Haoxuan turned on the radio, and a slightly sad music wafted from it:

"It's a pity that love is not a fairy tale, and you can't rely on the prince forever. No matter how sad, there are only two words left. I can't bear to explain it to you. The happiest thing I have ever been is your angel. I can hide it while my nose is sore. Let us be like It was the last time I hugged; the happiest thing was your gesture of wishing me when you blow out the candles; it was the happiest thing to keep a place on the left side of my heart for the person I love the most..."

What a fitting song.Ruolin sighed in her heart.

As long as you have loved deeply, it is the happiest thing to keep a place for each other on the left side of your heart.Look, how hypocritical and hypocritical it is in the lyrics!Obviously sang so sadly and sadly, but deceived himself and others that it was "the happiest thing".

Han Haoxuan may also feel that it is shameful to listen to such a sad song all the time, so he reached out and turned off the radio.

The atmosphere in the car returned to silence.

"Here we are, get out of the car." Han Haoxuan stopped the car.

He didn't get out of the car as usual, opened the door for her, and waited for her to get out of the car.He sat motionless in the car, his eyes were fixed on the front, his expression was very focused, and he didn't look at Ruo Lin at all.

"Thank you for taking me home." Ruolin said as she got out of the car.

Han Haoxuan frowned, did not speak, but took out a cigarette and lit it.

The scarlet fire was very eye-catching in the night, the fire flickered between Han Haoxuan's fingers and lips, Ruolin only felt that the fire seemed to pierce her heart.

"Smoking is bad for your health." Ruolin blurted out as if out of habit.

"You still know how to care about my body? It seems that you don't care about me at all!" After Han Haoxuan finished speaking, he put out the cigarette.

"There is one thing that I want to return to you." Ruo Lin said and took off the watch on her wrist.This is the watch that Han Haoxuan gave her on her birthday.

"I lost the memories between you and Mu Jingyan, so are you going to lose the memories between me and you too?" Han Haoxuan said coldly. He glanced at the watch but didn't pick it up. I will not take back what I gave you. If you don't want it, you can just throw it away."

"Although we can't be lovers now, I still want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a sweet and happy time. Although I can't cherish these times, I don't want to lose them. This watch is the witness of those times. I I return it to you in the hope that you will cherish it well." Ruolin handed the watch to Han Haoxuan.

"Don't you think you are too selfish? I came to cherish this time, but you gave it back to me easily! What is the difference between you doing this and throwing away our memories?" Han Haoxuan's tone changed a little .

"..." Ruolin was speechless for a moment.Is she too selfish?She just wanted to give him back something related to him.

Han Haoxuan didn't speak any more, didn't even say goodbye to Ruo Lin, but turned the car around, and the car gradually left Ruo Lin's sight.

It was as if a layer of fog had covered Ruolin's eyes, and her vision gradually became blurred.

A cold liquid dripped down his cheeks.

Since then, there is really no intersection between them, right?
Although she didn't record everything about her and Han Haoxuan in the form of a diary, all of this was deeply etched in her mind like a movie film.In fact, in her memory, Han Haoxuan's name is more profound than Mu Jingyan's.

The embarrassment when she and him accidentally touched each other's lips; the heartbeat when he held her hand for the first time; the night he took her to his "paradise on earth"; he and her at the seaside Birthday spent...

At this moment, memories about Han Haoxuan rushed into her brain.

She still remembers the wish she made on her birthday—the wish is very simple, but she hopes to build a love fairy tale of "holding the hand of the son and growing old together" with Han Haoxuan.

Nine out of ten times life is unsatisfactory, and often the simplest wish can become the most difficult luxury to realize.

The night wind was very cold, and Ruo Lin stood there alone for a long, long time.

She didn't start walking back until her body was shivering from the cold.

Han Haoxuan held the steering wheel tightly and drove the car very fast.

The car overtook one car after another.

He is so angry today!

He didn't expect that Ruo Lin would look for him for an old diary, let alone that she would give him back the birthday present he gave her!
Did she ever love him?Did she put Mu Jingyan in the most important position in her heart from beginning to end, while he, Han Haoxuan, never occupied her heart?

It should be like this, otherwise why didn't she contact him even once after the breakup?Why did he take the initiative to find her and she ignored him?

She said that he couldn't give her a peaceful and happy life, and she also said that being with Mu Jingyan was happier than being with him, what did she think of him from the beginning to the end?Passing by?Rest station?

Han Haoxuan's face was gloomy, and his thick eyebrows were furrowed.

It's already painful to lose love, but she just wants to sprinkle a handful of salt on his unhealed wound, so that she will feel better?Is her heart made of flesh?

Han Haoxuan didn't go home directly, but went to the bar to drink.He called and asked his buddy Qin Tianyi to go there with him.

When Qin Tianyi arrived at the bar, Han Haoxuan had already had several glasses of wine, and his eyes were blurred.A sexy and enchanting girl is flirting with Han Haoxuan.

"You have to have another drink. You just lost." The girl said relentlessly.

"How? I... didn't lose. You lost." Han Haoxuan said.

Qin Tianyi gave the girl some money, and sent her away from Han Haoxuan smoothly.

"I said, what's going on with you today? If I'm a little late, I'm sure you'll have sex after drinking. Alcohol hurts your body, and it always messes things up. Can you drink indiscriminately?" Qin Tianyi couldn't help but say a few words to Han Haoxuan.This guy usually has a strong self-control, and he didn't see him so self-depraved when he broke up with him. What happened today?
"You know you care about me even after we broke up! So you care about me too!" Han Haoxuan said as he put his hand on Qin Tianyi's face, and found that something was wrong, and said, "You have worked too hard recently, your skin Not as smooth as before..."

"Sleek! I'm not your woman, I'm your brother!" Qin Tianyi slapped Han Haoxuan's dishonest hand, "Let's go, buddy, I'll take you home."

Early the next morning, before Han Haoxuan woke up, his cell phone was already ringing loudly.He thought it was an alarm clock, so he pressed it disgustingly without opening his eyes.As a result, after pressing it, the phone rang again.He pressed again.Just pressed it and it rang again.

Now he understood that it was not the sound of the alarm clock, but the sound of an incoming call.

He opened his sleepy eyes and carefully looked at the name displayed on the screen: Xin Yu.Why did she call herself?It seems that they haven't been in touch for a long time, except for the time when they helped Ruolin pay back the money and met Xinyu.

"Han Haoxuan, you bastard!" As soon as Han Haoxuan answered the phone, Xin Yu's voice came.Her voice was so loud, and it was so unusual when she opened her mouth, which surprised Han Haoxuan. He sat up and asked her, "What's wrong?"

"What's the matter? What's the matter? You made someone else's belly bigger, do you know how to be responsible? You can't just dump someone else just because they're pregnant with your child, right? You're a villain who never quits!" Xin Yu I completely forgot that I should pay attention to my own tone "to be a teacher".

"Did I make someone else's belly bigger?" Han Haoxuan was completely confused by Monk Zhang Er. He has been living a good life recently, so he doesn't have such a life at all!
"Stop pretending to be confused. Come to the hospital to see Ruolin." Xin Yu didn't intend to go around in circles with him anymore, and simply told the truth, "She's pregnant and you should take good care of her instead of breaking up with her. Do you understand?" Do you understand that pregnant women are the most vulnerable?"

Xin Yu's words were like a thunderbolt, blowing Han Haoxuan into pieces.He didn't have time to think carefully about the cause and effect, so he hurriedly asked about the hospital where Ruolin was, then got out of bed, washed up in a hurry, and drove to the hospital.

(4)

If it hadn't been for Ruo Lin's sudden high fever and being sent to the hospital by Xin Yu, Xin Yu would never have known that Ruo Lin was pregnant.This girl's mouth was also sealed too tightly, and she didn't tell her about such a big thing. She even complained about whether Ruo Lin regarded herself as a good sister.

In the end, Ruolin said with an unhappy face: "I didn't intend to tell anyone about this, because this child has no destiny in this world."

"What do you mean?" Xin Yu asked puzzled.Pregnancy is supposed to be a happy thing, and it should be shared with good friends.Why is she so unhappy?

"Because I broke up with Han Haoxuan..."

(End of this chapter)