Love Affair: A Psychological Perspective on Extramarital Affairs

Chapter 19 Extramarital Affair Syndrome (5)
The field of view is wider.Over the woods and houses, you can look out to the plains.Dark green, light green, light yellow, all kinds of colors are dotted on the fields, the roads intersperse in a straight line, and the cars are running on the road like a matchbox, creating a vibrant pastoral scene.

"Women still respect men. Even if they live together for a long time, once they don't respect it, it will be difficult to maintain."

"You mean between husband and wife?"

"When I first got married, I thought life was very interesting, but when I got older, I felt dissatisfied..."

"What happens when couples are the same age and are like friends?"

An Yuan's assumption was Lu Qian and her husband.

"That's a problem. There are more women going out to work now."

In the past, the female lead was superior to the wife, but now both of them go out to work, and the wife contacts many people, and she is more mature than before.

"Women still hope to have a trustworthy person to rely on."

"There are also some strong women who are busy with their careers all day long, surpassing men."

"Once those people have someone they can rely on, they will become women again."

Walking between passion and reality

Men who have extramarital affairs require more frequent and longer contact, and women are willing to continue dating, so they make vows to each other, lingering in love, and intoxicated in love.But once you calm down and face the cruel reality, you will encounter one problem after another.It may be thought that this question need not be pursued when one is in love.Obviously this is the idea of ​​​​fantastic romantics, and it can't solve any practical problems.Because there is no ready-made answer at all, I am reluctant to face this question squarely.Women in love don't like this kind of ambiguous attitude, because sex requires black and white in essence, and ambiguous answers are impossible to convince people.If the two continue to love each other passionately, what will happen?As more people go out on dates and travel together, the two of them will spend more and more time away from their own homes, so what happens in the end?In the end, will the two bond more firmly, or will they end up horribly?
An Yuan and Lu Qian

As before, An Yuan imagined Lu Qian's home again.Husband and children slept in one bedroom in a two-room or three-room apartment, and Luqian was alone on the phone in the living room next door.There was only one wall, so if the husband wanted to listen, he could hear it. Maybe Lu Qian knew that her husband wanted to eavesdrop and said that on purpose.

However, this unscrupulous boldness was not in harmony with the haste to leave at one o'clock in the middle of the night.Although it was late to go back, she still left Anyuan and went home alone, which showed that she wanted to keep the family safe.

Which one is the real Luqian?An Yuan thought about Lu Qian's last sentence again.

"I can't stay asleep." Hearing these words, An Yuan felt bitterness in his heart.

Wait a minute, will Luqian sleep next to her husband, or put the child between them?Or leave her husband and sleep in another room with the child?
In any case, Lu Qian had to rest quickly, and had to go to work in the company tomorrow.

Work, child, husband, lover, Luqian is confused and survives in many contradictions.It must be very tiring for one person to play three or four roles.

Luqian said that she hadn't let her husband touch her for a long time, could it be true?If so, how does she refuse when her husband asks?What attitude will the husband take?These thoughts are too obscene, but when I think of them, I feel jealous and toss and turn.

Once, when he was drinking and chatting with his college classmate Nomo, he talked about his relationship with Luqian.The other party said:

"You, you're deep enough, the look on your face when I sang with her told me."

Nosuke's observation skills are indeed keen. "It seems that you are inseparable, and she is also deeply in love..."

As soon as Nosue mentioned this, Anyuan wanted to confide in his heart.

"Actually, she called just now. She said that she might have to run away from home."

"Calling so late?"

"It seems to be playing at home."

Nomo let out a dry cough.

"So, leave home and go to your place?"

"I didn't say that, anyway, it seems that something happened at home."

"What are you going to do?"

"This one……"

"Want to rein in the precipice?"

Nomo asked bluntly, Anyuan didn't know how to answer.

Maybe now is the time to break up.If you act on the occasion, you can no longer go your own way.

However, An Yuan didn't want to be separated at all.It's no longer a joke, and I can't take it back even if I want to.

"It's not easy..."

Unbelievably, after Nosue tried to persuade him, An Yuan calmed down a lot.

"I know I shouldn't, but I mean it."

"Then there is nothing to say."

"..."

"But maybe you're dreaming an unattainable dream."

"hard to accomplish?"

"There are many disadvantages with her. From the present situation, it is difficult for you to get together. It may be that this difficulty has a certain stimulation for you."

An Yuan remained silent and took a deep breath.

"Men and women, the more obstacles there are, the more attractive they are to each other."

What Ye Mo said is not unreasonable, but An Yuan is not fascinated by Lu Qian because of this kind of psychology.

"I don't want to leave her anyway."

"Since you're so deep, there's nothing you can do. But what will happen if it continues? Do you know?"

The night air was cool.An Yuan nodded thoughtfully.

An Yuan is also analyzing what the ending will be if this continues.

As soon as Lu Qian ran away from home, it meant that An Yuan had also completely separated from his wife, so the two joined hands to start a new life.On the whole, things are not complicated, and the outlook is very optimistic.However, once implemented, various difficulties will be encountered.Leaving aside An Yuan's side, Lu Qian had to say goodbye to her husband when she ran away from home, and there would definitely be an uproar in the family.If things go wrong, An Yuan will have to meet Lu Qian's husband.If the husband readily agrees, what about the children?It also involves Luqian's mother and relatives.Anyuan's side will never be simple.Although they are currently separated, judging from past experience, the wife may not readily agree to a divorce.So the two sides will be at loggerheads, and there are also children.There are many difficulties in both aspects, and it is difficult to move forward. How can a quick knife cut through the mess and solve it satisfactorily?Thinking about it realistically makes people lose confidence.

Public opinion will think, how can one really fall in love at this age?Not like a mature man who knows his destiny.However, An Yuan was unwilling to follow his advice.Whether it is age or reason, it is just a norm artificially formed in society. Although some people voluntarily live under this restriction, Anyuan is now beyond it.Instead of following those common-sense but inexplicable norms to live, it is better to go one's own way and live freely according to one's own wishes.Now that An Yuan has this concept, it may be because he is over fifty.The sense of urgency of running out of time made him yearn for love even more.

Of course, it wasn't because of hunger and dissatisfaction that they fell into this difficult love quagmire.It was really because he liked Lu Qian so much that he himself indulged in it with peace of mind.In fact, he also has a mentality of trying to see how far he can resist social norms and act according to his own wishes.Of course, it is obvious that if things continue like this, the environment for the two will deteriorate day by day, and as a result, both Lu Qian and herself will be bruised and bruised.Married men and married women stubbornly go forward on the road of extramarital affairs, which will undoubtedly bring countless confusions and injuries.Even if the two parties get their wish, and the deer and cart work together, many people around will be hurt.There is no happiness for both parties who love each other and many people around them.

Anyuan had a desperate idea in his heart, so he knew that everything would be destroyed, so he did not hesitate.Thinking about it, An Yuan gradually became afraid.He seemed to be falling into a bottomless abyss, and he held his breath in the fall.

The most frightening thing is that, knowing that you are falling into the abyss, you have no intention of getting out, but want to fall blindly instead.An Yuan was voluntarily plunged into the purgatory of love, ready to bear everything brought about by it, but Lu Qian who was implicated was pitiful.If she didn't know An Yuan, Lu Qian would be a law-abiding wife and a gentle and virtuous mother; since meeting him, she has fallen in love every day.This is nothing more than a sudden accident, an unexpected traffic accident.

But thinking about it carefully, Lu Qian has come a long way.Now, not only does Luqian have a third party, she even has to abandon her husband and even her family.What made the virtuous Luqian so resolute and so desperate?Needless to say, it was all because of love.In fact, besides love, there is also physical union.Since accepting An Yuan, Lu Qian did have a new feeling and tasted a deeper pleasure.An Yuan sent Lu Qian to the other side of happiness, and was confused and disturbed by Lu Qian who had made a new discovery.A tryst will deepen the love, what will happen in the end?A woman's feelings are sometimes unpredictable to a man.

In any case, it is true that the two tasted the forbidden fruit.Taste it once, and you will never forget how delicious it is.The delicacy has penetrated the whole body, and the norms and rationality are indelible.

"What should I do..." An Yuan murmured in the dark.

From July to August, An Yuan was at a low ebb of writing.I was urging to ask for a manuscript, but I couldn't write it in a hurry.Forcing myself to write at my desk, but I don't feel emotional at all.This kind of low tide has happened two or three times before, but this time it is more serious.He called Luqian again.According to the agreed signal, the bell rang three times, hung up and dialed again, and a man's voice came out.

"Hello, I'm Asami, Asami." A young and energetic voice.

As soon as he heard the man's voice, An Yuan put down the receiver without saying a word.In the past, An Yuan only imagined Lu Qian's husband, and never met or spoke to her.In An Yuan's mind, Lu Qian's husband is a man in his thirties who can understand his wife's career, has a gentle personality but lacks masculinity.He is probably neither tall nor short, with a neat suit on his body, and he is a serious family man.

Lu Qian didn't take the initiative to talk about it, An Yuan could only imagine it alone.However, the voice heard on the phone in the morning was unexpectedly young and full of vigor.According to speculation, it may be a tall and broad-minded person.Hearing his voice unexpectedly, An Yuan immediately felt that Lu Qian's husband was close in front of her eyes. In the past, she was only in a hazy imagination, but now she suddenly came close to her.

However, why did Lu Qian not answer the phone after calling according to the password?When my husband answered the phone early in the morning, did he get up first, Luqian was still sleeping, or something happened?An Yuan imagined, and the image of a couple appeared in his mind.The husband is awake, reading the newspaper, or getting dressed; the wife is still sleeping quietly, her posture seems to be ignoring her husband, but at the same time she seems to be sleeping peacefully beside her husband.

No matter what, the husband answered the phone, making Luqian seem far away.In this way, she will not be able to contact Lu Qian when she needs it the most.An Yuan seemed to feel that he was alone, first he broke up with his wife, and now his beloved lover seemed to have abandoned him.He feels that everything is self-inflicted, and that kind of lonely loneliness may also be one of the reasons for the low tide of writing.

However, the biggest reason for poor writing is that I couldn't meet Lu Qian as I wished.Since Luqian's mother was injured, the number of meetings has been greatly reduced, and even the meeting time is very short.Lu Qian always emphasizes the reason why they can't be together for a long time.Probably because she was afraid that her husband would complain about her later.He knew that it was not good for her to leave the child to her husband and would not return home by herself, but An Yuan couldn't help but feel disappointed when she saw how she was going back in a hurry.

For Lu Qian, is children and family more important?At least she didn't want to destroy the family yet.On the one hand, An Yuan was helpless with this situation, and on the other hand, he couldn't understand what she whispered on the bed not long ago.Luqian said not long ago: "Never leave me..." But an hour later, she hurriedly dressed and went home.Both images are Luqian in reality.

For the sake of the child, this kind of reason is absolute, and An Yuan can't force it.However, realizing this, he felt embarrassed that Luqian was not only a woman, but also a mother.

When the two had a tryst, they were just absolute lovers, and family affairs were taboo.There are always many complaints and dissatisfaction in her heart, but she avoids mentioning them. Whenever those things are mentioned, Lu Qian's shadow of a housewife who bears the burden of the family is revealed outside.

Lu Qian realized this, and tried her best not to reveal that shadow.But this kind of restraint naturally has its limits, and the exhaustion of a woman who simultaneously plays the triple roles of mother and wife is often looming.

The biggest problem between An Yuan and Lu Qian is that they are not together.Both have families, especially Lu Qian, who has a husband and children.In this case, what can be done to maintain this love?Since they all want each other, the best way is to be together.Two people are not together, each in his own home and love each other, this is the only way to go.

Of course, it's not that she didn't think about living with Lu Qian before.When dating or making love, I once said: "Let's be together." I also said: "When I am alone with you, I feel the most peaceful." "I don't want you to go back."

To this, Lu Qian replied: "Me too..." "I don't want to go back." Lying beside An Yuan, she also said: "Staying like this is the most natural."

Now if An Yuan actively asks, Lu Qian may leave that house.In fact, Lu Qian said: "If you let me leave the house, I will leave." Lu Qian seems to have prepared to a certain extent.However, although An Yuan said: "I want to be together," he refused to say "Let's be together".The biggest reason for An Yuan's hesitation was that he was afraid that he would not be able to adapt to the completely changed new life of the two of them.To be together, as long as you make up your mind, two people can be together at any time, but various problems will follow.

First of all, there is the problem between Lu Qian and her husband, what about the children?There are also a series of problems such as Luqian's work.From this point of view, Anyuan's side may be simpler. However, living together with a woman who is not a wife will inevitably encounter some troubles. At least the household registration issues for divorce and remarriage must be resolved. These will not be smooth sailing.The residence and financial problems of the two are not big, but the interpersonal relationship related to the two is quite complicated.

If you don't care about these at all, as long as the two of you are happy, it's easy to adopt this attitude.However, both of them have reached this age, so it is inevitable that there will be obstacles of one kind or another.Although I know that I can ignore the comments from the society, but it is difficult to make up my mind when I really want to make a decision.To make such a big move requires a certain amount of determination and perseverance not to be afraid of any difficulties.

The clever Luqian seemed to see An Yuan's hesitation, and she didn't seem to want to impose a burden on An Yuan.Of course, it also contains her worries and anxieties about completely destroying her previous life.Anyone who wants to abandon the life of years of habit is always a little afraid.Even if you hate that kind of life very much, once you actually want to give up that kind of life, you will not be able to make up your mind.And when it comes to abandoning a family, the confusion goes even further.

However, sometimes the more people know how to be afraid, the more they want to get closer to that terrible thing.This kind of psychology is the same as someone knowing that looking down from a high place is terrible, but still wants to take a look.After hesitating again and again this time, An Yuan said to Lu Qian who was about to go back: "Do you still want to go back?"

In the darkness, Lu Qian turned around.Don't want me to go?

When she asked, he had no choice but to admit it.

"certainly……"

I also want to stay here.

Both of them knew they couldn't be together, and they were still testing each other, but neither of them was willing to say decisive words.

At this moment, An Yuan is trying his best to suppress the desire to say "don't go back".

Perhaps once he said it, Lu Qian would not leave.On the one hand, I look forward to that situation; on the other hand, I am afraid that that situation will really happen.

It was already past twelve o'clock, both of them were concerned about making time, but they were reluctant to let go. The woman said that she was going back, but the man agreed with his mouth, but he faced her.An Yuan knew that if he hugged her, she would return to her arms, but he restrained himself.

Then, the moment Lu Qian put on the straw sandals and held the doorknob, An Yuan hugged her from behind.

They leaned against the door and kissed passionately, but after a while, the two let go again as if they had just woken up from a dream.

(End of this chapter)