Love Affair: A Psychological Perspective on Extramarital Affairs

Chapter 39
Especially what Rinko and Jiumu are asking for now is a rather selfish and extravagant death.If it's just two people who died together, there are still a few examples in the past.For example, hang yourself together like Takero Arishima and Akiko, or jump off a cliff together, or sleep in a room full of gas.As far as the meaning of dying together is concerned, it is not difficult to do it, but what Rinko wants is a way for the two to hug each other tightly and never separate.Of course, men and women who want to die for love hope that they will not be separated after death, but when the bodies are found, almost all of them have been scattered.Even if you jumped off the cliff with a rope tied around your waist and holding hands, the rope would be broken and the body would be torn apart when found.Even if you sleep in a room full of gas, you will end up separating from your body, which may cause a fire, trouble your neighbors, and burn you to a blackened mass.

It is too much and a luxury for living people to hope that the way they die and even the shape after death are as they wish.However, the death Rinko wanted now was even more extravagant and capricious than that.She wanted to die in a state of tightly embracing and intercourse. Is it possible to die in this state?If it is possible, Jiu Mu also hopes so. He wants to fulfill Rinko's wish, but is there such a way in reality?
Rinko started copying Buddhist scriptures a few days ago, but now she stopped writing and stared at the white powder.

"Just dissolve it in the juice and drink it." Rinko didn't make a sound, just kept watching. After a long time, he asked with a dry voice: "Will you die if you take these powders?"

"After drinking it for a minute or two, you will die." Jiu Mu put on his gloves, picked up the medicine wrapping paper, and poured the powder into a small round container.

"Just having these is enough."

"Will it be painful?"

"It might be a little painful, but as long as we hold on tight and don't let go it's fine."

Rinko was still looking at the powder in the container, and suddenly asked, "Can I put it in wine?"

"What wine?"

"Certainly the best red wine."

"should be no problem."

"I want to hug you and drink wine, you will drink the bright red wine first and then pass it to my mouth..."

Rinko, who loves wine, seems to be planning to end her life by drinking bright red wine at the last moment in this world.

"Just do it!"

If that was Rinko's wish when he set off on his death journey, he would accept everything.After determining the way to death, Jiu Mu's heart became more peaceful and peaceful.I feel that my body has been purified from heart to every corner, a transparent body without any worldly desires except waiting for death.

Next, the two must decide where to die.But dying in a place where ordinary people live will bring trouble to the shopkeeper and the people around.If you want to die quietly in the way you want without bothering anyone, the only way to do it is in that villa in Karuizawa that is rarely lived in by family members.Of course, if the two of them died there, Rinko's mother and elder brother would also feel troubled. I'm afraid they won't live in that villa again, but they are a family after all. Although I feel sorry for them, I can only beg them to forgive the two of them. For the last willful.

Hisaki imagined a quiet villa where the leaves began to change color: the larch forest had turned yellow, and walking on the only road seemed to be heading for a distant world that had never been seen before.Both Hisaki and Rinko believed that following that path would lead to a quieter world of death.Everything flows slowly but surely toward death, and the body and mind are already so inclined toward death that they are no longer attached to being alive.Even so, the lives of the two are not always repressed, withdrawn and conservative, but more intense in terms of sex.They want to sort out the trivial things around them in the last few days of this world, and then go to the world of death without attachment.

The more he thinks this way, the more Jiu Mu wants to court Rinko, and the more Rinko craves his love.For example, when Jiumu wakes up in the morning and sees Rinko by his side, he will naturally lean over, caress her breasts and even her whole body repeatedly, and then combine together naturally, confirming that Rinko has several orgasms, and then embrace and fall asleep.Towards noon they wake up again, play again, and in the evening they can't wait to tangle together in the twilight.

People who don't know this kind of insanity day and night must think that they are either shameless or sensual.However, once one abandons the worldly desires such as working to make money and enjoying a rich and colorful life, there is almost nothing worth doing in this world. The only thing left is appetite and sexual desire. All that remains is the sexual desire of a couple.

Hisaki and Rinko indulge in sex day and night without getting tired, which can also be said to be a healing work for the body and mind to meet a peaceful death.After sorting out the trivial matters around him, Jiu Mu was still worried about one thing, that is, he wanted to see his wife and daughter again.This kind of thinking has gone beyond pure nostalgia, and it is the etiquette and love that should be given to the other party who has spent the longest period of time in this life.The wife and daughter must have been disappointed with the husband and father who have not returned home for several months, but seeing them again may be the last sincerity he can show.

After thinking twice, he went back to see his wife the day before he left for Karuizawa.He had called in advance and asked his wife to invite his daughter back, so when he got home, his daughter Zhijia was there, but the family didn't meet in the living room, but in the living room, feeling very strange.

Jiu Mu fidgeted as if he was in an outsider's house, and asked, "Is your health okay?" The wife didn't answer, and asked him instead, "I have entrusted a lawyer I know to handle that matter, so it's all right!"

Jiumu immediately knew that she was talking about divorce, but he didn't care about it anymore. Even after negotiating the conditions of the joint property distribution, Jiumu himself is no longer in this world, as long as the rest is given to his wife and daughter, He is satisfied.

Jiu Mu nodded and drank the tea brought by his daughter, feeling that he had nothing to say.

The daughter said, "You seem to have lost weight", and he only replied, "You look good", and the conversation was interrupted again, and the wife took out two large paper bags.

"It's already autumn..."

Hisaki saw neatly folded autumn clothes and sweaters in the bag.

"Did you prepare for me..."

His wife, who thought he hated him, unexpectedly prepared autumn clothes for him, and Jiu Mu was a little confused.Did she still have love for this man who was about to return to another woman, or was it a simple habit of being a wife for many years?
"Thank you!" Jiu Mu sincerely thanked his wife for this may be the last warmth.Even so, the atmosphere was odd.

Although the divorce has not yet been established, the husband has left home to live with another woman after all.Although the wife hated the husband and was indifferent to him, she still prepared autumn clothes for him.Although the daughter is angry with her selfish and willful father, she still tries to smooth things over for her parents.It's just that the mother and daughter didn't realize it. His father was already mentally prepared to die.

Although the three of them felt awkward, they didn't want to spoil the atmosphere in front of them.Jiu Mu drank another cup of tea, greeted him, pointed to the upstairs, and went upstairs to see his study.The room has not changed at all from when I left home in early summer this year. The lace curtains are drawn, the position of the pen holder and the unused handbag are left intact in their original positions, and a thin layer of dust has accumulated on the table.

Jiu Mu went downstairs after smoking a cigarette in nostalgia, and told him his intention to go.The wife was a little surprised, but had no intention of keeping him, and the daughter looked at them in turn worriedly.

"I'll take this with me."

Jiu Mu picked up the paper bag containing the autumn clothes, stood in the porch, and looked back at his wife and daughter.

"Then goodbye..."

He originally wanted to say "I'm sorry to cause you so much trouble", but when he was about to leave his mouth, he suddenly felt boring, just looked at their mother and daughter and whispered, "Take care!"

I wanted to speak as if nothing had happened, but I felt sad first, lowered my eyes and opened the door, and my daughter Zhijia called out behind me, "Don't go..."

He turned his head and saw his wife turned her face away, while Zhijia was staring at him with a crying expression.He stared at these two faces for the last time, said "goodbye" in his heart again, and stepped out the door.When he walked to the street, he looked back again. There was no sign of the mother and daughter chasing them out, and the entrance was as silent as an unoccupied house.

The day after returning home, Hisaki and Rinko left Tokyo together.Finally, they are about to embark on a death journey for the two of them. I imagine that it is like looking at everything in this world for the last time. I am somewhat attached to the room where I lived for a short period of time and the bustling Tokyo, but I will not blindly feel sentimental.

"Let's go!" Urged by Rinko's loud voice, Jiu Mu walked out of the room.

It's autumn, and Rinko is wearing a camel-colored suit and a hat of the same color; Hisaki is wearing a light brown jacket and brown trousers from his wife, and is carrying a travel bag.From the eyes of others, this loving couple with a slight age gap seems to be going on a trip for two or three days.

Hisaki drove the car through the city center and onto the Kan-Etsu Expressway.This was the last moment they were in Tokyo, and Jiu Mu was full of this idea. After receiving the expressway toll receipt, Rinko held it in his hand and whispered, "This is our one-way ticket."

Indeed, all you need is a one-way ticket for the journey to death.

"Let's go to the paradise!" Rinko said deliberately half-jokingly, but her eyes were straight ahead.Jiu Mu held the steering wheel and murmured "Paradise".

Rinko seems to have believed that the afterlife is a paradise where their love will last forever.Adam and Eve, who were expelled from the Garden of Eden for eating the forbidden fruit, now want to return to Paradise.Even though they were tempted by the snake to betray God, but after all they ate the forbidden fruit, could they really return to Paradise now?Jiu Mu doesn't have this kind of self-confidence, but even if he can't go back, he doesn't have any dissatisfaction, because they are in the dirty world now, because they have eaten the forbidden fruit of sex, if they are knocked down from the sky, he also wants to enjoy it Died of lusting after sex.

Both of them fulfilled the greatest wish in the world to their heart's content.At this moment, Rinko is dreaming magnificently, only wishing to die at the pinnacle of love.Jiu Mu doesn't know whether the prospect of dream is magnificent, but he feels that if he lives so long, he may not have a better life.Died at the culmination of joy in such a deep love for Rinko, as long as this is true, he can embark on a one-way journey of love with Rinko without any doubts.

It was this autumn moon when the two arrived in Karuizawa, and the autumn wind was sometimes in the silent woods.After arriving at the villa in less than an hour, it was already completely dark, and the entrance lights that the manager had turned on in advance made people feel the depth of the night.

"I'm back..." In cooperation with Rinko, Hisaki greeted him before entering the room.

They agreed to spend the last night of Karuizawa here tonight, and drink that glass of bright red wine tomorrow night to end this life.That night, they ate in a nearby hotel restaurant, because they planned to stay away all day tomorrow, so for them, this was also the last dinner they enjoyed outside.

The sommelier came and poured wine for them.The red Chateau Margaux wine was poured into a large round glass, and the blood-like red liquid swayed with the aroma.

"Let's go with this one?" It was Rinko who decided that the last wine they drank would be bright red and surprisingly expensive.Indeed, as soon as it is contained in the mouth, the European richness and tradition bred for hundreds of years and the mellow pleasure hidden in its depth slowly spread.

"Order another bottle for tomorrow!"

(End of this chapter)