Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 15 Letting go is a kind of wisdom (2)
What is lost has been lost, and time will not stop for anyone. Why don't we cherish the happiness ahead?Why fuss and worry about what has been lost?You must know that life itself is a theory of relativity: on the one hand, it allows us to choose the gifts of life; on the other hand, it predestined us to let go of these gifts in the end.Learn to let go, you can get more.Sometimes, too much unhappiness is because we always want to get but are afraid of losing, and are depressed and unhappy about losing things.Only when you are fully immersed in the present can you get a good enjoyment, without having to think about the past and the future that has not yet come.When you focus on the past or on others, you lose the joy of yourself.Learn to let go and life will be easier.

More than 2000 years ago, Socrates stood in the bustling Athens market and sighed: How many things here are I don't need!Similarly, in our lives, there are many unimportant things, but we just can't bear to let them go.Faced with a seriously overloaded mind and a life that has been overwhelmed by too many emotions and desires, we should learn to let go and keep ourselves away from complicated emotions.

Pack your mood and move on.Let go of those things that have been missed, and you can go further by packing light.

Reluctant to let it go, I can only let the beauty that is closely related to life slip away from my fingers like sand.

A fish that will not retreat does not know the beauty of retreat

It is a kind of wisdom to see the situation clearly and retreat when it is time to retreat.Trying to be tough in everything will only get you into a situation. The principle of "take a step back and open up the sea and the sky", if you force it everywhere, you may end up with a bloody head.

In the river to the south there was a dolphin fish that swam under a bridge and hit a bridge post.It didn't blame itself for being careless, and didn't want to go around the bridge pillar. Instead, it became angry, thinking that the bridge pillar hit itself.It was so angry that it opened its mouth, raised the fins beside its jaws, and bulged its belly. It floated on the water and remained motionless for a long time.The flying eagles saw it, grabbed it, and tore its belly open.

There is a kind of majia fish in the sea. Its meat is delicious and it is very popular among fishermen.Majia fish is agile and extremely intelligent. If there is any sign of trouble, it will run away immediately.But Ma Jia Yu has a fatal weakness, that is, he is stubborn by nature and does not know how to advance or retreat.As soon as the maca swims over, once it touches the net, it moves more and more toward the net; the deeper it sinks, the more angry it gets, so its gills open and its fins spread out.In this way, it was hung on the eyelet of the net, unable to break free, so it had to be caught without a fight.

A fish that doesn't know how to retreat loses its own life.In life, we are faced with choices all the time, advance and retreat, far and near, gain and loss, always make people in a dilemma.A smart person can use a unique way of thinking to move randomly and advance and retreat at the right time.A wise man can not be confused by temporary and partial phenomena in front of him, but can gain insight into the development trend of things, predict future trends, adjust his behavior, advance when he should advance, and retreat when he should retreat.

A shrewd person dares to let go, a wise person is willing to let go, and a wise person is good at letting go. "Advance" is important, but "retreat" is sometimes a strategy.A person who understands life will not be blindly competitive.When necessary, I would rather take a step back and make the necessary self-sacrifice to achieve myself.Take a step back and think twice before acting. This is not only a method of self-protection, but also a survival strategy.

Taking one step back may take you ten steps forward.

Don't be surprised, watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court
Favor is the appearance of being proud.Humiliation is the endorsement when you are frustrated.In ancient and modern China and abroad, whether it is officialdom, shopping malls, or love affairs, it is like a theater of life, where success and frustration, honor and humiliation can be seen clearly. The words "not to be surprised by favor or disgrace" come from a true story in the Tang Dynasty.

One person named Lu Chengqing, surnamed Ziyu, was a merit tester named Wailang, who was in charge of official performance appraisal. He was widely praised for his fairness and conscientiousness in his actions.

Once, an official had an accident in which a grain ship capsized and should be punished, so he gave the official a "medium-low" comment and notified himself.After the official who was punished heard about it, he didn't make any comments, nor did he show any expression of doubt or fear.Lu Yuanwailang then thought: "The sinking of the grain ship was not his personal responsibility, nor could it be saved by his personal ability. It may not be appropriate to rate it as 'middle and lower'." So he changed it to "middle and middle" level, and Notified myself.

Still the official made no comment, neither a false word of gratitude nor a look of excitement.Seeing him like this, Lu Yuanwailang praised him very much, and blurted out: "Okay, it's not surprising, it's rare and rare!" So he changed his performance appraisal to "upper middle".

Being a human being can only be "not surprised" if you regard favors and disgraces as ordinary as flowers blooming and fading;Regarding things and things, regarding fame and fortune, not worrying about losing and not happy about gaining is the great state of life.

Modern society is gradually losing our grace as a human being in pursuit of efficiency and speed.Material desires are slowly devouring people's spirit and brilliance, and the inner space we leave for ourselves is squeezed to the minimum, and even so narrow that we lose the mind and vision of "long-term things should be seen in the long-term".We began to suffer from all kinds of strange mental illnesses, and psychologists and counselors became popular in our cities. We went to seek medical treatment, consulted doctors, and then looked forward to seeking peace of mind.In fact, there is no need to spend a lot of trouble in life. If you stay indifferent, you will have a little more happiness in your life.

"Don't be surprised by favor or disgrace, just watch the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court; go and stay without care, and follow the clouds and clouds in the sky." Only with this indifferent attitude can we be optimistic and enterprising, and look at the situation with a smile.It is a kind of self-cultivation, a kind of state, a kind of long-distance full of connotations, which can make people feel at ease in life, happy and calm.

It is a great state to not be surprised by favor or disgrace, and to look at the situation with a smile.

Only by letting go of your identity can you have a brighter future
In 2008, affected by the financial crisis, Cai Xunwen, who had been engaged in mold work for many years, had to leave the company to find another way out.Due to limited funds, Cai Xunwen decided to start a small business at the suggestion of his wife.

Cai Xunwen found that there was a lot of traffic in an alley near the primary school attached to the Changshi where his daughter lived. At night, various supper stalls were set up, and the business was booming.Although there are many supper stalls, none of them sell Malatang.So, he rented a house of more than [-] square meters in the alley, and then bought all the business needed to make Malatang, and sold Malatang in the alley.

Before making Mala Tang, he was the manager of the production department of Tianjin Shiya Mold Co., Ltd., with a monthly salary of more than 8000 yuan.And the attitude of some customers that "doing business is to serve others", coupled with the fact that the business did not go as smoothly as expected at first, made Cai Xunwen feel as uncomfortable as a cat's claws scratching him, and he began to retreat.

Anxious Cai Xunwen came to an Internet cafe to see if there was any relevant recruitment information on the Internet.While browsing the web, he came across a story about an eagle: a 40-year-old eagle whose talons began to age and its feathers were thick and thick, unable to fly and hunt.At this time, the eagle either waits to die, or undergoes a painful and long metamorphosis-pulling out its aging beak, toenails and feathers, and waiting for them to be reborn.When the new beak, toenails, and feathers grow back, the eagle will start flying again.

This story made the 40-year-old Cai Xunwen resonate strongly in his heart: everything I am experiencing now is just like the pain that Eagle experienced before his new life. As long as he survives, he will start a new life again!
"The story of the eagle tells me that you can fly only when you let go of your burdens. Although it is difficult to be a small boss, you can have a brighter future when you let go of your burdens." After removing the burdens in his heart, Cai Xunwen began to run the Mala Tang business with all his heart.Gradually, the business of the stall picked up, and many nearby residents became his regular customers. If they had nothing to do, they would come to him to buy two skewers of mala tang, or chat a few words.

In a person's life, everyone cannot guarantee that everything will go smoothly. Facing unemployment, many people are often miserable and worried about losing their jobs.In fact, being unemployed is not necessarily a bad thing. As long as you let go of your identity and build up confidence, there will definitely be a new scene of another village.

People's "identity" is a kind of "self-identity", which is not a bad thing, but this "self-identity" is also a kind of "self-limitation", that is to say: "Because I am this kind of person, so I You can’t do that kind of thing.” And the stronger the self-identity, the more self-limiting.In fact, this kind of "identity" will only make people's road narrower and narrower.It's not that people with "status" can't have a proud life, but we believe that at critical moments, if you still can't let go of your status, you will only have nowhere to go.

A person who can let go of his identity has a high degree of flexibility in his thinking, will not have rigid concepts, but can absorb all kinds of information to form a huge and diverse information base, which will be his capital; a person who can let go of his identity can If he catches good opportunities earlier than others, he can also catch more opportunities than others, because he has no identity concerns.

If you want to make a way out in society, you have to let go of your identity and let yourself return to an ordinary person, even more humble than ordinary people.At the same time, don't care about other people's eyes and criticisms, do what you think is worth doing, and walk the path you think is worth taking.In this way, your path will be wider and wider.

If you are pursuing success, you have to let go of your identity. No matter how tall and brilliant you were before, you should try to calm your mind and be prepared to start from scratch.

Let go of what you want in order to pick up what you need
When the Buddha lived, one day a Brahman named Black Finger came to the Buddha, holding a vase in each hand, offering it to the Buddha, and asked the Buddha how to get rid of troubles and obtain happiness.After hearing this, the Buddha pointed to him and said: "Put it down!" The black-fingered Brahmin immediately put the vase in his left hand on the ground.The Buddha said again: "Put it down!" The black-fingered Brahmin hurriedly put the vase in his right hand on the ground.The Buddha still said to him: "Put it down!" At this time, the Brahman with black fingers spread his hands, looked at the Buddha in puzzlement and said, "I have empty hands now, and I have nothing to put down. What else do you want me to put down?" When the Buddha saw the Brahmin like this, he smiled and said: "I didn't tell you to put down the vase in your hand, I just asked you to let go of those thoughts of wanting to have happiness and happiness. This is how I teach you. When you don't When you worry about how to get happiness and happiness, you will be in happiness and happiness." The black-fingered brahmin immediately understood the Buddha's teachings and left after worshiping.

Destiny is always full of unpredictable variables. If it brings us happiness, of course it is very good, and we can easily accept it.But things are often not like this. Sometimes, what it brings us is a terrible disaster. At this time, if we can’t learn to accept it, but let the disaster dominate our hearts, then life will lose its sunshine forever.

People always care too much about other people's opinions, so that they subconsciously accept the various motives imposed on us by others. As a result, after working hard, we find that none of our needs have been met.To complicate matters further, not only do other people's opinions shape our desires, but our own desires are themselves unpredictable.They are formed out of latent need, and are constantly changing because of unknowable forces.We often get what we wanted so badly in the past, but don't need anymore.This makes the feeling of happiness unpredictable.Finding the feeling of happiness is like sailing in the ocean. If you don't know where your destination is, you have to suffer from being adrift and lost.Therefore, before you decide what you want and need, you must first do some spiritual exploration to truly understand yourself and grasp your goals.Only then can you move forward in life with satisfaction and a happy smile.

Each of us has to learn, sooner or later, that we can only accept and cooperate with unchangeable facts. "As it must be, there is no alternative" is not an easy lesson.

(End of this chapter)