Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 16 Happiness is in your own heart, not in the eyes of others (1)
If you can't let go of misfortune, you can't approach happiness.

Happiness is no pain in the body, no troubles in the soul
What is happiness?
The patient said that happiness is a healthy body.

Lovers say that happiness is holding your child's hand and growing old together.

The children said that happiness is going to the playground on Sunday.

Happiness is the love of a mother touching the delicate skin of her children.

Happiness is the respect of children looking at the vicissitudes of their parents.

Happiness is to complete one's own performance within the stipulated time.

When it comes to happiness, everyone has a different experience.At all times and in all over the world, different people have different comments on the interpretation of happiness.It depends on a person's knowledge base and his ideological realm. "There are tens of thousands of mansions in An De Guang, which shelters the poor and happy people in the world" is the happiness of Du Fu, the "sage of poetry".The great French thinker Rousseau once said: "The greatest happiness in the world is to have love and innocence." Lincoln believes that for most people, they are as happy as they think they are.Beethoven cried: "My art should only benefit the poor. Ah, what a happy moment! How happy I should be when I can get close to this!"

Big people have the happiness of big people, and ordinary people also have their own happiness.The groaning patient said that health is happiness, the dying old man said that being alive is happiness, the naughty child said that getting a favorite toy is happiness, the blind man on the street said that having a home is happiness, and the student who studied hard said that getting a gold medal is happiness, and being broken in love of young people say that being loved is happiness...

What exactly is happiness?It is a kind of physical and psychological happiness for you. If you are healthy and free from the troubles in your soul, you will be able to obtain your own happiness.

Happiness is a feeling, when you feel it, you have it.

Happiness is contentment, not contentment
Basketball star Yao Ming once said: "Can life be chosen? It will always be like this. I envy you for your leisure, and you envy me for having more money."

Desires are innate and everyone has them.In the late Ming and early Qing Dynasties, there was a book called "Jie Ren Yi", which gave a penetrating description of desire: "Running around all day is only for hunger, and just now I am full and think about clothes. I have enough food and clothing, and I want a beautiful wife. Married a beautiful wife and gave birth to a child. I hate having no land and few roots. I bought a vast field, and no boats and few horses to ride in and out. The trough confiscated mules and horses, and I lamented being bullied for having no official position. You should hang purple clothes in the middle of the court. If you want the hearts of the world to be satisfied, you have to be Nanke Yimengxi." It can be seen that "the hearts of the people are not enough to swallow the elephant", which is not empty words.If you can't control your own desires and blindly satisfy yourself, you will become a slave to your desires, and eventually lose yourself and be enslaved by your desires.

American Eddie Regenburg and his companions got lost in the vast Pacific Ocean during their expedition. They drifted hopelessly on a life raft for 21 days.Eddie said: "The most important lesson I learned from that experience was this: If you have enough fresh water to drink and enough food to eat, you should never complain about anything. For now, Eddie has these words taped to his bathroom mirror so he can see them every morning when he shaves:
When others ride horses, I ride donkeys. Looking back at the pusher, there is more than enough than the top, and more than the bottom.

Contentment is a rational review of desires, and satisfaction is the filling of desire gaps. Only by learning to be contented and letting go of satisfaction can one face life squarely.The Russian writer Anton Chekhov has a deep understanding of contentment and happiness. He said: "In order to keep feeling happy in the heart, even when you are sad and sad, you need to: be good at satisfying the status quo; be happy to appreciate the 'original things'. It could be worse'. If you have a toothache, rejoice that you don't have a toothache all over your mouth. You get a thorn in your hand, and you cry out with joy: 'It's a good thing it wasn't in your eye. !'" These words contain a profound philosophy of life.The greater the desire, the more greedy people are, the more disaster-prone they are in life.If one wants to be honest and upright, one must strengthen the righteousness and eliminate evil, promote public affairs and restrain selfishness. Before doing this, one must first learn to be content and control one's desires.

The "Buddha's Relics" says: "The way to know contentment is to be in a precious, happy, safe and healthy place. A contented person will feel very happy even if he sleeps on the ground. A dissatisfied person will feel very happy even if he is in heaven. Feeling dissatisfied. People who are dissatisfied are poor even if they are materially rich; people who are content are rich even if they are poor materially.” will not be happy.

Fortunately and unfortunately, it lies in your ability to control your heart

Fortunately and unfortunately, there is no difference in essence, but the moods reflected in daily life are different. To be precise, people's ability to control their hearts is different.

At the foot of Kunlun Mountain, the water is clear and the grass is beautiful.It is said that a kind of happy fruit is produced in this area. Anyone who gets this kind of fruit must be very happy, smiling, and don't know what troubles are.

There was once a person who, in order to obtain endless happiness, went all the way through mountains and rivers to find this kind of fruit.He went through untold hardships and finally arrived at the foot of Kunlun Mountain. On the steep cliff, he found this kind of happy fruit, but found that he did not get the happiness he expected, but felt a kind of emptiness and loss.

That night, he spent the night in an old man's house on the mountain. Facing the bright moonlight, he let out a long sigh.

The old man heard the sound and asked him: "Young man, what makes you sigh like this?"

So, he expressed the question in his heart: Why didn't he get happiness when he had already obtained the fruit of happiness?

The old man was happy when he heard it, and said: "Actually, the happy fruit is not only found in Kunlun Mountains, but in everyone's heart. As long as you have the roots of happiness, you can get happiness no matter where you go."

The old man's words lifted the young man's spirits, and he asked again: "What is the root of happiness?"

The old man said: "The heart is the root of happiness."

Although the young people in the story have found the fruit of happiness, they have not found the root of happiness - the heart.A philosopher once said: A person's heart is a person's real master, either you control life, or life controls you, and your heart will determine who is the mount and who is the jockey.All in all, luck and misfortune are in two words - heart.

A happy person is not because of how smooth they are on the road of life, nor how superior their abilities are, but because they are good at controlling their hearts, can see beautiful rainbows in the storm, and even Seeing a bright future in a crushing defeat, maintain a good mental state at all times, and not be depressed by temporary distress.An unhappy person is not really as unlucky as they say, nor is his own ability so bad, it is just because this kind of person can't control his heart and let his pessimistic and negative emotions indulge.

A happy person must be very active in doing things. Whether it is work or life, he can complete tasks well. Such a person realizes more self-worth and more self-affirming sense of accomplishment. In this way, you can have a good mood and form a virtuous circle.An unhappy person faces life with a sad face all day long, is not active in doing anything, and even makes many mistakes, then his self-worth will be realized less and less, and the factors of self-denial will increase. It makes the mood more negative and depressed, which becomes a vicious circle.

It can be seen that a person's heart is often related to a person's destiny. If you want to live happily all the time, you must keep your heart under your control forever.

What kind of heart you have is what kind of life energy you have, and this energy will determine whether you can get a happy life.

Happiness is but a temporary cessation of vanity
Madame Curie is famous all over the world for her great scientific achievements. She has won various bonuses many times in her life, 16 various medals, and 117 various honorary titles, but she doesn't care about them at all.

One day, one of her girlfriends came to visit and suddenly found that her little daughter was playing with a gold medal, which was just awarded to her by the famous Royal Society of Britain. She couldn't help being surprised and asked : "Mrs. Curie, it is a great honor to be awarded a medal from the Royal Society. How can you play with your children?"

Mrs. Curie smiled and said: "I want children to know from an early age that honor is like a toy, it can only be played with, and it must not be guarded forever, otherwise nothing will be achieved."

In 1921, Marie Curie was invited to visit the United States. American women offered to donate 1 gram of radium to her in order to express their admiration. You must know that the value of 1 gram of radium is more than one million US dollars.

This is what she desperately needs.Although she was Radium's mother-inventor and owner (but she renounced patenting it), she couldn't afford expensive radium.

Before the gifting ceremony, when she saw the words "To Mrs. Curie" written on the "Certificate of Gifting", she was upset.She said in a statement: "This certificate still needs to be revised. The 1 gram of radium gifted to me by the American people will always belong to science, but if it is stipulated in this way, this 1 gram of radium will become my private property. How can this work?"

The organizer was astonished and admired the noble character of this great scientist from the bottom of his heart. He immediately invited a lawyer to revise the certificate before Marie Curie signed the "Certificate of Presentation".

There is an idiom called "Xu Huai Ruo Gu", which means that the mind should be as empty as a valley.This is a very apt way of describing modesty.But this also shows that only when you are empty can you accommodate things. It is precisely because Madam Curie does not take honor to heart that she can have more energy to do more meaningful things.

In the face of vanity, stopping is a kind of wisdom.Many of the frustrations in life are due to not getting what we want. We are busy every day, dreaming every day to fill up the vanity in our hearts, but those vanities are like gullies in the opposite direction. The more you try to fill them up, it will The deeper it goes down.When a successful person encounters a bottleneck, he will retreat to advance, preserve his strength, and attack at any critical time.As the saying goes: "There is a sky beyond the sky, and there are people beyond people." Keeping a humble heart, you can move forward at all times; only by crossing the barriers of vanity can you choose your own happy life peacefully.

From a psychological point of view, vanity is a personality defect that pursues vanity.If you want to lose your vanity, you should pay attention to the following points to make adjustments.

Recognizing the Dangers of Vanity
If vanity is strong, factors such as selfishness, hypocrisy, and fraud will unconsciously infiltrate into thoughts. Vanity can only be satisfied temporarily in reality, and long-term vanity will lead to the breeding of unhealthy emotional factors.There are many manifestations of vanity: overestimating one's own ability and level; showing off one's strengths and achievements everywhere, liking to hear praise, hating criticism; often bragging about one's powerful relatives and friends in front of outsiders; Flattering and flattering; pretending not to understand, swollen face to pretend to be fat, likes to play tricks; poor family but lavish, ostentatious and fashionable; envious of other people's talents, gossip, gossip, etc.Only by knowing the dangers of vanity come can we sound the alarm for ourselves.

Correct your own values
The realization of self-worth cannot be divorced from the needs of social reality. The understanding of self-worth must be based on a sense of social responsibility, and a correct understanding of the connotation of power, status, and honor and the true meaning of personality and self-esteem.With the establishment of the socialist market economic system, new changes have taken place in people's ideas, coupled with the influence of certain negative factors in society, many people's values ​​have deviated, and they regard vanity and wealth as fashionable. Symbol, which provides the soil for the growth of vanity.In this case, only by focusing on reality, combining one's ideals with the future of the country and the nation, and establishing correct values, can one have a correct orientation in life.

Beyond the barriers of vanity, happiness is at your feet.

Happiness consists not in the reward of virtue, but in virtue itself

People are pursuing happiness, where does happiness come from?

One day, Captain Li Duanyuan asked Chan Master Tanying: "Master Tanying, may I ask whether there is hell or not?"

Chan Master Tanying replied: "Speaking of existence from nothing is like seeing an illusion. It seems that there is nothing. It is really funny that Taiwei now produces nothing from existence. If people see hell in front of their eyes, why can't they see heaven in their hearts? Heaven and hell It's all in one thought, the Taiwei's heart is calm and free of worries, naturally he has no doubts."

The Taiwei asked: "So, how can you be free from worries?"

Chan Master Tan Ying replied: "Do not think about good or evil."

The Taiwei asked again: "If you don't think about it, where does your heart go?"

Chan Master Tanying said: "The heart has nowhere to go."

The Taiwei asked again: "If a person dies, where will he return?"

Chan Master Tanying asked: "If you don't know life, how can you know death?"

Taiwei said: "But I already knew about it."

Chan Master Tan Ying asked again: "Then, tell me, where did you come from?"

When Taiwei was contemplating, Chan Master Tanying touched his chest with his hand and said, "What are you thinking about here?"

Taiwei said: "Yes, why bother yourself about this."

Chan Master Tanying said: "Everything comes from your unquiet heart, which is why worries strike."

As the Zen master said, happiness should come from a pure heart.The human heart is like a pool of living water. If the human heart is scattered, it is like muddy living water.Such people will often follow other people's opinions because they don't know what they want, will be affected by other people's evaluation, and will live a very tired life. How can such a person feel happiness?On the contrary, a person with a pure heart, free from any external influences, can truly recognize himself and take firm steps towards happiness.

So how can we have a pure heart?The ancients said: "Do nothing, live well, and feel at ease." This sentence teaches us that when we do good, we should not think "I am doing good again!" The real "good" is not about gaining, not about Possession is a kind of sacrifice and dedication.Only by establishing virtue can your heart be peaceful and you can touch happiness.

Only when the heart is pure can we get happiness, and when we encounter any adversity, we can let go of it naturally, and can be free and free from troubles. Only in this way can we truly understand a happy life.

If you strongly desire happiness, you must pursue it with your heart

There is a movie "Ratatouille" about Remy, a mouse who loves to cook:
Remy is a cute and persistent mouse who has a strong interest in cooking and wants to be a great chef.However, reality often reminds him not to be delusional, because mice are the least welcome in a kitchen full of aromas!
(End of this chapter)