Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 20 Choice, interpreted at the moment of tolerance (1)
To forgive is human, but to forget is divine.

—James Gran
The heart is wide, the world is wide
The Buddhist scriptures say: the pericardium is too empty, measure the Zhou sand circle.If you can contain the void and the universe in your heart, then your mind will naturally be as vast as the void.Regardless of honor or disgrace, sorrow or joy, success or failure, as long as you have a bigger heart, you will naturally be able to do it without any surprises.Mahatma Gandhi of India said it well, if we take a "tit for tat" approach to everything, then the whole world will lose its color.

Once upon a time, there was a mountain, and there was a temple in the mountain. In the temple, there was a young monk. He was very unhappy, and he groaned and sighed over trivial things all day long.Later, he said to his master, "Master! I am always troubled and irritable. Please enlighten me!"

The old monk said, "Go to the market first and buy a bag of salt."

After the little monk bought it, the old monk said: "You put a handful of salt into a glass of water, and after the salt dissolves, take a sip." After the little monk finished drinking, the old monk asked, "How does it taste?"

The little monk frowned and replied, "It's salty and bitter."

Then, the old monk brought the young monk to the lake and said, "Sprinkle the remaining salt into the lake and taste the water." The monk asked, "What's the smell?"

"Pure and sweet." The little monk replied.

"Have you tasted salt?" the old monk asked again.

"No." The little monk replied.

The old monk nodded, smiled and said to the young monk: "The pain in life is like the saltiness of salt. The degree to which we can feel and experience it depends on how big a container we put it in." enlightened.

The container mentioned by the old monk is actually our heart, and the heart is wide, and the world is wide.If you have a small heart, you will have more troubles.When you are in pain, open your mind to be an ocean, not a cup.Your field of vision depends on how high you stand.Cultivation is the same, it depends on one's mind.Only when the mind expands can the field of vision be expanded, and more and more possibilities can be discovered, so that we will not be trapped by troubles.Successful people are often people with a broad mind. Look at those ancient sages and great virtues who "have too much space in their hearts and measure the world of sand". They have left rich and precious material wealth and spiritual wealth for human beings.

In fact, each of us will always encounter many pains like salt grains in our lives. They glow with cold white light under the pale heart. If your container is limited, you will be like an unhappy little monk. You can only taste it. Salty and bitter brine.When you can contain the empty universe in your heart, your mind will naturally be as vast as the sky.Regardless of honor or disgrace, sorrow or joy, success or failure, as long as you have a bigger heart, you will naturally be able to stay calm.

The troubles in life cannot be controlled by ourselves. Only by broadening our mind can we obtain the joy of life.

The moral shock caused by tolerance is stronger than punishment

Shakespeare wrote in "The Merchant of Venice": "Tolerance is like the drizzle of heaven that nourishes the earth. It blesses the tolerant and blesses the forgiven."

In the face of difficult people in our lives, we need tolerance and compromise.Because blindly finding fault and blaming each other can only make things worse.

"I must take revenge on him, and I must make him regret it from the bottom of his heart." Andy blushed with anger and kept muttering.He was so distracted that he didn't notice William who was looking for him.

William asked: "Who? Who are you going to take revenge on?" Andy woke up like a dream, looked up and saw that it was his good friend, and laughed.He said, "Oh, do you remember that beautiful piece of bamboo my father gave me? Look, it's folded like this. Farmer David's son did it!"

William asked him very calmly why little David was breaking bamboo sticks.Andy replied: "I was walking well just now, and I wrapped the bamboo strips around my body to play with. I accidentally lost one end of it. I was by the wooden bridge, facing the gate, and the little rascal I put a pot of water there, ready to pick it up and take it home. By chance, my bamboo strip bounced back and knocked over the pitcher, but it wasn’t broken. When I apologized to him, he jumped over and scolded him without any regrets. Ignore my explanation. He suddenly grabbed my bamboo stick, you see, it's all twisted like this, and I will make him regret it."

William said: "He is a bad boy indeed, and he has had enough punishment for that. No one likes him. He has few company and no entertainment. He deserves it. I think this is enough for your revenge on him." gone."

Andy replied: "Although this is the case, he broke my bamboo stick, such a beautiful bamboo stick, it was a gift from my father. You know, I just accidentally knocked over his bamboo stick." The jar, I also said to help him refill it. I want revenge.

William said, "All right, Andy. But I think you'd be better off just ignoring him. Because slighting is the greatest revenge you can ever have on him."

Andy said: "Your suggestion is really good, then go to my father with me, I want to tell him the truth of the matter, I believe he will not be angry." So they went to tell Ann the whole thing. Dee's father.Andy's father was very grateful for William's advice to his son, and promised Andy that he would give him another bamboo stick that was exactly the same.

A few days later, Andy met the bad-natured boy who was walking home with a heavy load of firewood, and fell to the ground and couldn't get up.Andy ran over to help him put away the firewood.Little David felt very guilty and felt very uncomfortable. He regretted his previous behavior!And Andy went home happily.He thought: "This is the most gentleman's revenge. How can I regret it?"

Victor Hugo said: "The noblest revenge is tolerance".Just like the revenge of the most gentleman in the story is to repay grievances with kindness, tolerance has a stronger influence than punishment.A person who always loves to compare pennies and pennies in everything is probably a narrow-minded person.Forgiveness is a sign of tenderness, while revenge is a sign of cruelty.The moral shock produced by tolerance is stronger than that produced by punishment.

In today's fierce competition, PK frequently appears around us, but tolerance is quietly disappearing.On the road, drivers quarrel for the road; on the subway, passengers quarrel because of crowding; Enmity and resentment, at this time, do you choose revenge or tolerance?Revenge, the resentment will become deeper and deeper, and the hatred will accumulate more and more, and you will feel resentful, and you will even fall into deep resentment and cannot extricate yourself, and you will also spend it in pain and resentment.And choosing tolerance and forgiving others' faults is actually liberating yourself.People can not escape from doing wrong?Choosing to forgive can not only reflect your own generosity, but also turn enemies into friends.

Only by being able to tolerate the talents of the world can we be tolerated by the people of the world.Tolerance can not only heal the flaws of the tolerated, but also excavate the greatness of the tolerant.If you want rainbows, you have to tolerate raindrops. "Being lenient to others" is not only an attitude towards others, but also a noble moral character, which can resolve many conflicts between people and enhance the friendly feelings between people.Be lenient to others and constantly improve your ideological realm, you can make yourself a moral person.

Forgive others for their faults and mistakes.To do this, you must have a magnanimity, not narrow-minded, but magnanimous.Tolerance is an ocean where thousands of waters flow.Treat others and yourself with a tolerant attitude, and you will have a happy and peaceful life.

A noble gentleman, use tolerance to resolve resentment.

make scolding a hymn
Whether it is at work or in life, if someone scolds us, we will definitely feel uncomfortable in our hearts and even resent the other party.In fact, scolding does not always bring us pain as we imagined. On the contrary, it is like a hymn in the world, which will bring us joy and give us more.Because most people scold us with expectations for us. If you don’t want you to make better progress, just ignore you. Why bother talking to you to offend you?

The great thinker Rousseau, in one of his famous speeches, once eloquently explained the power of self-esteem.He said: "Self-esteem is a valuable tool, the driving force behind a person's continuous upward development. It will completely motivate a person to pursue praise, reputation, and create achievements with dignity, and bring him to the highest point in his life. "Without some inner stimulation, we tend to become slack and drift with the flow.Only after suffering a spiritual blow can we catch up and surpass our original selves.Wang Yan, who has grown from a housewife to a tens of millions of online merchants, was scolded by Jack Ma.

In 2006, the Sixth Internet Business Forum Conference was held in Chengdu. Wang Yan, President of Sichuan Rixianggui Agricultural Technology Co., Ltd., as a member of Alibaba TrustPass, was invited to attend the conference.

Wang Yan listened to Alibaba Chairman Ma Yun’s speech at the meeting. After the speech, she grabbed the microphone: “How did you start from small things?” Ma Yun asked: “When did you join TrustPass?” “Already It's been two years, but I haven't used many functions in it, and I don't know how to use some of them."

When Ma Yun heard this, he got a little angry, stopped for half a second and said, "You started playing the game before you even understood the rules of the game. How can you call it starting from small things?" Wang Yan's self-esteem was hit hard , she said to herself, you say I don't understand, I just want to get it right.

So in the days to come, Wang Yan kept studying the rules of the game on the Internet, and often paid attention to the forum posts of Chengxintong. On this website where businessmen gather, Wang Yan established the blog "Wenxiangshishiwomen" and wrote essays , shared his experience and experience in planting Japanese osmanthus with netizens, and also opened various topics, some of which did not mention business, but only talked about emotional experience.The latest blog posts are uploaded to the Internet almost every day, leaving thousands of blog posts over the years.Attracted the attention of millions of netizens. In 2007, Wang Yan's blog "Wenxiangshishiwomen" was rated as one of the top ten blogs of online businessmen by Alibaba.Wang Yan has met many good friends in the industry through blogs, and through these channels, more people have learned about Wang Yan and Wang Yan's Japanese Osmanthus brand.On Chengxintong, an online trading platform, Wang Yan is getting better and better.

Ma Yun's scolding inspired Wang Yan's self-motivation, which made her work hard and finally achieved success in her career.In many cases, scolding by others is actually an elective course in life. Narrow-minded people interpret it as a burden, while open-minded and optimistic people regard it as an alias for "encouragement". Use scolding to encourage self-improvement.

When being reprimanded or reprimanded, especially by your superiors or people who are more noble than yourself, you should not only listen carefully, but also smile and respond in a pleasant tone after listening: "Yes, I am I already know, what you said is very to the point, I must be strict with myself.” On the contrary, if you are very nervous when you are scolded, it will make the other party think that you are resisting and feel uncomfortable.If you feel very ashamed and resentful because of being scolded in front of everyone, it is a big mistake. At this time, you have to think about it from a correct perspective, thinking that he is cultivating himself, educating himself, and helping himself.

(End of this chapter)