Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 21 Choice, interpreted at the moment of tolerance (2)
Successful people will grow from scolding, rather than resentment because of scolding.

Patience is tolerance in another sense

Tolerance is a kind of tolerance.In life, criticism of parents, misunderstanding of friends, too much argument and "counterattack" are not advisable, only calmness, tolerance, and understanding are the most important.Believe in this famous saying: "Tolerance is the grain that grows among thorns." If you can take a step back, the world will naturally widen.

Just after dawn, Layman Zhu Youfeng excitedly rushed to the Great Buddha Temple with a bouquet of flowers and fruit offerings, intending to attend the morning class of the temple.Unexpectedly, as soon as he stepped into the hall, a person ran out from the left side, bumped into Zhu Youfeng's arms, and knocked the fruit he was holding to the ground.Seeing the fruits all over the ground, Zhu Youfeng couldn't help shouting: "Look! You are so reckless, you knocked over all the fruits I offered to Buddha, how can you give me an explanation?"

The man named Li Nanshan said very dissatisfied: "I have already knocked over, I just say sorry, why are you so fierce?"

Zhu Youfeng was very angry and said: "What's your attitude? I blame others when I'm wrong!" Then, the voices of swearing at each other and blaming each other continued one after another.

Zen Master Guangyu happened to pass by, took the two of them aside, asked the reason, and explained: "Walking recklessly is not right, but it is also wrong not to accept other people's apologies. This is all stupid behavior." It is the behavior of a wise man to be able to admit one's faults frankly and accept others' apologies."

Zen Master Guangyu went on to say: "We live in this world, and there are too many aspects of life that must be coordinated, such as: how to coordinate with relatives and friends in society; how to communicate with teachers and elders in education; In terms of life, how to live within our means; in terms of family, how to cultivate the relationship between husband and wife, parent-child; in terms of health, how to make the body healthy; in terms of spirit, how to choose our own way of life, so that we will not let down our precious life. Think about it Look, is it worth it to ruin a pious mood early in the morning for a little thing?"

Li Nanshan first said: "Zen Master! I was wrong, I was so reckless!" Then he turned to Zhu Youfeng and said, "Please accept my sincere apology! I am so stupid!" Zhu Youfeng also said sincerely: "I also have What’s wrong, you shouldn’t lose your temper over a trivial matter, it’s too naive!”

The words of Zen Master Guangyu influenced these two aggressive people.

Many things, we often get angry because of trivial things in life. In the final analysis, our hearts are not calm enough, like a glass of muddy water, so any thing can trigger dissatisfaction in our hearts.At this time, it is better to be patient, to be tolerant to others, and to be tolerant to yourself.A sage once said: "If a person has no patience, his life will be dominated by endless revenge and hatred." Many people in life can't bear it, even if they encounter a little thing, they will not let it go.In fact, doing so is often a torture to oneself, because people who don't know how to endure are often angry people, fighting against others, and always hurting their own bodies.

Patience is a kind of chic.If a person cares about everything and worries about gains and losses, then he must be very tired.It is rare for us to go through this world, chicness is the most important thing.Patience is a rare good state in life. This state is the beginning of growth and maturity, which requires practice to achieve.Patience is a noble virtue, it can fill your heart with peace and happiness all the time, and it can also easily win the respect of others.

Patience is another kind of tolerance, a kind of magnanimity, and a state of life. Patience also creates the beauty of life.

Tolerance resolves friction invisible
Someone made a very beautiful metaphor for tolerance. He said: "A violet is trampled flat by one foot, but it leaves its fragrance on the heel. This is tolerance." Unpleasant little frictions, skirmishes.What would you do if someone violated your interests?And read the short story below.

Zen master Fengqian in the Tang Dynasty lived in Guoqing Temple in Tiantai Mountain.One day, while he was walking in the pine forest, he suddenly heard the sound of a child crying beside the mountain road. He searched for the sound and found that it was a young child, although his clothes were not neat, but his appearance was magnificent. He asked the people in the nearby villages, but no one knew who it was. Zen Master Fengqian had no choice but to take the boy back to Guoqing Temple and wait for someone to claim it.Because he was picked up by Zen master Fengqian, everyone called him "Shide".

Shide settled down in Guoqing Temple, and when he grew up, he was asked to work in the Xingtang (refilling food).After a long time, Shide also made many Taoist friends, one of them was a poor man named Han Shan, who was the most irresistible. Because Han Shan was poor, Shide packed the leftovers from the dining hall in a bamboo tube and carried them back to Han Shan. .

One day, Han Shan asked Shide and said, "If someone in the world slanders me, bullies me, insults me, ridicules me, despises me, despises me, hates me, and deceives me, what should I do?"

Shi De replied: "You might as well bear with him, humble him, let him go, avoid him, be patient with him, respect him, and ignore him. After the past few years, pay attention to him."

Han Shan asked again: "Apart from this, what other secrets are there to avoid the malicious entanglement of others?"

Pick up replied:
"Maitreya Bodhisattva's verses say——

The old clumsy man wears a torn coat, is full of light food, mends the torn coat to keep out the cold, and everything goes according to fate;
Some people scold the old clumsy, but the old clumsy only says yes, others beat the old clumsy, and the old clumsy falls asleep;
Some people say that they are old and clumsy, let him do it himself, I save energy, and he has no worries;

Such a paramita is a wonderful treasure. If you know the news, why don't you worry about it?
People who are weak are not weak in heart, people who are poor are not poor, they want to practice with all their heart, and always do it in the way.

If you can understand the spirit in the verse, that is the supreme secret of life. "

The two masters Han Shan and Shi De are not tolerant, open-minded, free and easy, and their secrets of life are indeed superior to others.For some things in life, we have to take them seriously and argue with reason, such as right and wrong, truth and falsehood, etc.For some people, we have to ignore them and let them be unscrupulous.However, when they finally realize their fallacies, we can still say "it doesn't matter" generously, because what we abide by is the principle of treating things not people, and our focus is not on people, but on the results of things how.Getting angry when someone offends you, or making a note to "settle after the fall" will only destroy your relationship with others.

In the process of getting along with others, in order to reduce conflicts and frictions, it is necessary to put yourself in the shoes of others in order to reach a consensus.Thinking of others will lead to assimilation, and the relationship between each other will be more harmonious.Getting along with people is easier if you focus on what they have in common with you.

If you have a sense of responsibility and blame yourself, you will be lenient; if you have a heart of benefiting others, you will be tolerant.

Tolerance is not to care about, let things go
Tolerance is a virtue, and people who possess this virtue will always live with a happy mood; tolerance is a state, and those who can reach this state will see a broad and colorful prospect and feel that the world is full of joy. All smile at him.

Asagioli once said: "If there is no forgiveness, life will be dominated by endless hatred and revenge. People will be in a state of immorality." Only those who treat others with tolerance are entitled to tolerance of others.Tolerance reflects a person's personality charm, so that a person can win the respect of others.

In June 2003, Hillary published her autobiography, "A Living History," with a printing run of 6 million copies.The famous American host Carlson asserted that it would not sell well, and even said: "I bet, if this book can sell 100 copies, I will eat the shoes."

However, God always likes to tease people who talk too much.Within a few weeks, the 100 million copies sold out, so that the publisher had to quickly reprint.At this time, Carlson was very embarrassed.Had to eat a pair of "shoes" given to him by Hillary. After eating this pair of "shoes", Carlson even said: "It tastes great! Because it has a special ingredient in it." It turned out that Carl The pair of shoes that Sen ate was a cake in the shape of a shoe that Hillary carefully ordered.

"Shoes" taste great because it has a special seasoning in it - tolerance.In the face of the host's ridicule, Hillary did not give him a fierce fight back or wait to see him eat shoes, but skillfully resolved the conflict with a humorous and tolerant way.

Resentment is a destructive emotion that only intensifies conflicts and leads to catastrophe.A tolerant heart can easily resolve conflicts.Being able to give tolerance to the enemy can already be called holy.Comparing your heart to your heart, be tolerant and kind.Forgiveness is always a duty of goodwill to a person, never an opportunity for one person to punish another.

Tolerance is always the assistant of virtue, not vice.The power of tolerance is not only to make people's lives happier, but also a wise way of dealing with the world and a virtue of being a human being.If you can't hold "tolerance" in your heart, your life will be like walking on the edge of a knife.People should be magnanimous and tolerant.Tolerance is not only a key to health, but also the crystallization of people's self-cultivation and goodwill.

Tolerance, a kind of broad mind, a kind of unrestrained chic, a kind of great kindness.Tolerance is also a kind of happiness. Forgiving others not only gives them a chance, but also gains their trust and respect, and you can live in harmony with others.A noble person must have a tolerant heart.We shuttle among the vast crowds every day, and when we face a small mistake, a faint smile and a gentle apology bring tolerance and understanding.Forgiving others is tantamount to being kind to yourself.Learn to be tolerant, so that you can make your life easy and happy.Only by having a tolerant heart can we reap the happiness of life.

Tolerance makes life better.Everyone has weaknesses and flaws, and may make mistakes of one kind or another.We must try our best to avoid hurting others, and we must tolerate each other with a broad mind.

"The virtue of charity".Giving tolerance to others can also be described as a great virtue.

Tolerate hate with love, hate will naturally disappear

The sage said: "Eating vegetables with love is much better than eating beef with resentment." If you want to have peace and joy in your life forever, you must let go of hatred, and don't let your heart be more painful because of hatred.A tolerant heart can easily dissolve hatred, but hatred will destroy your mind, confuse your eyes, and devour your heart.As George Herbert said: "He who cannot tolerate breaks the bridge which he himself must cross."

In ancient Greek mythology, there was a great hero named Hercules.One day, when he was walking on a bumpy mountain road, he found something like a bag was obstructing his feet. He stepped on the thing, but he didn't know that the thing was not broken, but swelled up and doubled in size. .Infuriated, Hercules hit it with a wooden stick as thick as a bowl, and the thing grew so large that it blocked the road.

At this moment, a sage walked out of the mountain and said to Hercules: "My friend, don't touch it, forget it, and go away from it! It's called a hate bag. If you don't violate it, it will be as small as before; If you invade it, it will swell up, block your way, and be hostile to you to the end!"

Hatred will drive a well-behaved man to the brink of madness, and will not allow a moment of peace of mind.Don't let the fire in your heart burn you with anger because of your enemies.

The American writer Hubbard said: "Tolerance and the unspeakable joy of being tolerated are great pleasures that even the gods will envy." When facing some hurt and hatred in life, don't feel revengeful, and even more Don't resort to retaliatory means, when it's time to repay the grievances, it's better for everyone to live together under the sunshine and breeze of tolerance.Anger and hatred cannot wash away pain, only tolerance and love are the cure for grief.

When others treat themselves badly, they are full of hatred and curses; when they do something wrong, they always blame their mistakes; some people always talk about their rough past and unfair treatment... Over time, this person will Unknowingly imprisoned himself in the "Heart Prison".Instead of this, it is better to turn hostility into friendship.Tolerance not only makes oneself out of the "heart prison", but also gives others a chance to reflect.Spinoza of the Netherlands said: "People's hearts are not conquered by force but by love and tolerance."Learned tolerance, but also learned to behave.We have the magnanimity to be filthy and tolerant, to be forgiving and forgiving, and we have the bearing of "inclusiveness, tolerance is great".Conversely, if one is blindly filled with hatred towards others, not only will others live in pain, but one's own soul will not be able to be relieved.

Facing hate with hate, hate will always exist, and facing hate with love, hate will naturally be easily resolved.

(End of this chapter)