Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 34 Love is a Game of Choices (1)
Love is the everlasting lighthouse, it looks at the storm and does not move, love is life fulfilled, like a wine glass full of wine.

-Tagore
Love must adhere to the "half-sugar doctrine"

"I want to stick to the half-sugar principle of love, and it will always make you feel unsatisfied. If there is sweetness that seems to be nothing, you will not feel tired. I want to stick to the half-sugar principle of love. I really don’t need to stick together every day. Love is hard to come by. With a little space, each other can breathe." SHE declared the "half-sugar doctrine" of love in her singing.Giving freedom to the lover, respecting the choice of the lover, and making the loved one truly happy is true love.

Love is relying on each other to warm each other, love must have a distance.True love can transcend time and space. "If the two feelings last for a long time, how can they be in the morning and evening."Please leave a distance from each other.This distance not only includes the scale of space, but also the scale of mind.Love doesn't need to be grasped too hard and given too much.

Sometimes love is so unreasonable. A pair of lovers have been separated for too long, and they have to worry about whether the other party does not love themselves enough; two people stick too tightly, but they should prove the saying "Love too hard, love burns too fast".Semi-sugarism represents a healthy love attitude. Love that is too bitter will make people depressed and disappointed; love that is too sweet will easily make people not know what sweetness is and don’t know how to cherish it. As a rational view of love, "half-sugarism" opposes full-sugar love, and believes that it is too gluey, without distance and mystery, which is the reason why many modern loves cannot last for a long time.

Biologists have done such an experiment. In the cold season, a dozen hedgehogs were placed in an open space outdoors. These little guys were shivering from the cold, so they kept close to each other to keep warm, but because they couldn't stand each other The thorns on the body had to be separated again.Not long after, the hedgehogs who couldn't bear the cold leaned together again, were hurt by each other's hard thorns, and separated again.After repeated separation and reunion several times, the hedgehogs finally found an appropriate distance, which can keep each other warm without hurting each other.When two people are in love, they also need to keep a certain distance.

Even if a man loves a woman deeply, he will choose to "escape" periodically, and after that, he will become more intimate with the woman.The reason why men "escape" is to meet the needs of "being alone" and "introspection".Love is an eternally beautiful scenery on the long road of life. However, in the depths of love, some people always hope that the love between two people has no boundaries and that the relationship can be perfect forever. Therefore, they use love as an excuse to put forward many expectations and requirements for their lover. To control the lover.In fact, the true meaning of love is to let the person you love be completely himself, not let him become your ideal person, otherwise, what you love is only your shadow you found in him.Leave a secret garden for love, and you are the only one who can appreciate the beauty in the end.

The true meaning of love is neither selfishness nor restraint, nor possession.When you really love each other, you should help the other person and let the other person fly.Love is the deep care and understanding in life, there is no need to deliberately get involved, the more you want to hold on, the easier it becomes a shackle.

Adhere to the "half-sugar doctrine", love needs free air.

Romantic love comes from reality
Romance is not a castle in the air, you don't need to deliberately create it, as long as you can work hard on the usual little things to implant romance in your heart.

Romance and reality are lovers, and they are in love with each other like glue.

Once, romantically asked: "Do you love me or not?"

"I love you [-]%!" Reality replied.

"Then suppose I die, will you go with me?"

"I don't think so."

"What will happen to you if I go here?"

"I will live well!"

Romance was disheartened, deeply felt that reality was unreliable, and separated from reality in a fit of anger, looking for true love far away.

Romance first encountered sweet words, and then met sweet words. After getting along for a year and a half, they all felt dissatisfied.Tired of living a wandering life, romantically, by comparison, I feel that the reality is somewhat better.

At this time, the reality was seriously ill in bed, dying.

Romance asked sadly: "What should I do if you die?"

Reality uttered a sentence with its last breath: "You must live well!"

Romance wakes up.

True romance is not superficial sweet talk, but a kind of real warmth and beauty.True romance is not a soul-stirring, but a kind of mutual care for each other wholeheartedly.Hand in hand to help each other, take life seriously with a romantic and beautiful heart-this is the true meaning of romantic love!Only romantic love is just a subjective and ethereal thing. Romantic love without a foundation of reality is not solid. One day the bubble will burst and the dream will wake up.The momentary romance cannot resist the happiness of living a life in a down-to-earth manner.

True romantic love comes from the real face of life and the sincere devotion to the lover.

Love, shopping is enough

Hong Kong gold medal lyricist Lin Xi said: "When you like someone, it's like liking Mount Fuji. You can see it, but you can't move it. Is there any way you can move a Mount Fuji? The answer is: you walk over by yourself. Love is the same , It’s enough to go shopping.”

A lonely hedgehog often came to the river for a walk alone.Looking at the reflection of the willow tree in the water, looking at his own shadow in the water plants, the lonely hedgehog is silently lost in thought.

A fish quietly swam over and reached the hedgehog's heart.

"Why are you always so sad?" the fish asked the hedgehog.

"Am I depressed?" The hedgehog smiled softly.

The fish looked at the hedgehog tenderly, and said gently: "Let me warm your heart."

The fish and the hedgehog are in love!
The hedgehog said: "I want to pull out the thorns one by one. I don't want to hurt you when we hug."

The fish said: "But, you will not be you if you remove the thorn. I just want to give you happiness."

The hedgehog said: "I would rather tear myself apart a little bit for you".

The hedgehog is pulling out the thorns on his body little by little, and every time he pulls out, there is a heart-wrenching pain.

The fish is eager to have an affectionate embrace with the hedgehog, and it leaps up again and again, each time at the price of the pain of falling to pieces.

The fish said to God: "How can I have a pair of feet, so I can go to the side of my lover?"

God said: "My child, please forgive my helplessness, because you have no feet."

The fish said: "Is my love wrong?"

God said: "Love is never wrong."

The fish said: "How can I make my lover happy?"

God said, "Turn around!"

The fish swam away resolutely.

The hedgehog said, "My God, what is love?"

God said: "Love, sometimes you need to learn to give up."

The furthest distance in the world is knowing each other by fate, but staying together without fate.The love between a hedgehog and a fish is always just an accident.

You can choose many paths, but when you are in love, you forget to choose and give up.If you want to have a true love, you also need to choose carefully.If there is any problem, we also have to turn around and learn to give up.Cai Kangyong said on Weibo: "In the last relationship, I devoted myself wholeheartedly, but was seriously injured, so this time I was afraid of getting hurt, so I kept it very reserved. This means that the bad guy who hurt you last time got the most complete you, and this time This time, this developing lover, I got a very cold you. I know you are protecting yourself, but if this is a business, your store will definitely fail. The bad customers who never come again get the best service, and the new customers come to the door , but is neglected, why is this store not closed down?" In fact, there is no need to be tortured because of the loss of a beloved thing.Instead of dwelling on a past that no longer exists, it is better to create a new future.

Love requires open-mindedness, if you really can't grasp love, just let it go gently.The love that refuses to let go, neither of them can escape, nor can they be happy.Only by loving freely and letting go freely can we have true love.In the field of love, learn to turn around.While letting go, he also gave himself a chance to be reborn.

When love has come to an end, it is better to turn around and give love a way out.

Life is impermanent, what's wrong with falling in love

Where there is love, there is lovelorn.Love is not static. When considering that the current parting is very beneficial to the future, this party will often take the initiative to give up.People who have experienced love want to be immersed in happiness.Even if it was just a dream, I don't want to wake up from it.Those who broke up want to turn back the time so much, and return to the sweetness before from the current heart-piercing pain. They always think that they are on the edge of a cliff, and no one will save them.But in this era where marriage is regarded as a child's play, divorced people come and go in groups. Who doesn't lick their own wounds alone in the dark, and laughs firmly in the daytime?
In the TV series "The Legend of Condor Heroes", Li Mochou and Miss Xiaolong went out of the same family. Originally, she also had a kind heart of a girl, and she also experienced the beautiful years of love.She also loved Lu Zhanyuan deeply, and for Lu Zhanyuan, she would sacrifice everything.However, Lu Zhanyuan didn't know how to cherish Li Mochou, and her infatuation resulted in his betrayal.

The grief-stricken Li Mochou became cold and ruthless from then on. She killed Lu Zhanyuan's family and still didn't let go of her hatred, and she disliked everyone in the society.Even if it was a passing escort agency, she would have to kill a lot before she would give up.

In the face of emotions, Li Mochou is passive. Although she killed people like hemp later, if we look closely, we can find her pain and helplessness.Li Mochou said that even though I have been killing people, when I extend my weapon to the opponent, I am actually ready to extend the other end of the weapon to myself.In real life, most people are full of contradictions and pain in their hearts after breaking up. Although they are not as extreme as Li Mochou, they still have no way to control their emotions.Forced love will not lead to happiness, and the person who creates tragedy for the other party's departure is not due to true love.

Love requires open-mindedness. If you really can't grasp love, let it go gently.Life is colorful, and love is just a milestone on the journey of life.

Song Dandan said: "Time is a cruel thing. It turns the life that once broke your heart, made you sleep forever, and made you firmly believe that it will never change into dreams, which seem real and unreal, distant and vague. People will always live in today, and today is the reality." Since time can push away everything, those emotions that once made you sad and heartbroken will eventually become a string of wind chimes of memory, so why not learn to let go?Therefore, when you are facing the pain of falling out of love, don't be sad, time will slowly take away your pain, and life can still be very beautiful.The following methods may be able to help people who are broken in love regulate their emotions and relieve their inner pain.

1. Psychological hypnosis

Now that the relationship has reached the edge, don't look back.What we need to do is to always remind ourselves that the other party is not suitable for us.After a long time, the painful heart will be hypnotized.

2. Clear memory method

The complexity of emotion lies in its difficulty of control.Although we really want to forget him, we often think of him unconsciously when we pass the streets we walked together, or when we come to some special anniversaries.When I miss him, it's like I'm paralyzed. The warmth of the past can always make up for the pain of the present.But no matter how much we make excuses, how much we lie to ourselves, the love in the past will never come back.Our actions only deepen our pain.

3. Clear Items Act

It is human nature to see things and think about others.Therefore, clean up all items related to the other party, even if you want to keep them, put them in a place where you can't usually see them.

4. Keep your distance
Leave the places you used to frequent, stop caring about each other, let alone ask him out.

5. Self-venting method

(End of this chapter)