Life management lessons of choice and abandonment

Chapter 37 Happy families are all alike (1)
Marriage is to listen to the sound of flowers blooming amidst the tediousness...

Marriage with empathy
Marriage is a siege.Two people come together because they like each other. Marriage is the sublimation of love and the crystallization of emotion.But because of differences in personality and education, quarrels and frictions are always inevitable between husband and wife.Knowing how to be considerate, knowing how to be grateful, and knowing how to think about each other is the law of happiness in marriage.

Cao Wei and Su Yan met through free love, and later "the lovers finally get married".But after being married for many years, Su Yan has a deep feeling for the family that "a lot of chicken feathers, tireless teaching".

When the husband is outside, he can be called a handsome white-collar worker, with a neat suit.But when I got home, I was completely out of shape, wearing shorts, shirtless, and didn't even comb my hair or wash my face all day.Every time when reading and writing articles, he always spread books and papers all over the room, making a mess of the originally neat room, which made her upset when she saw it.After kindly tidying up for him, it aroused his dissatisfaction instead, either a page was lost or a book was missing, and he would always argue with her red-faced.When he slept, he talked a lot in his dreams. Once he slept until midnight, Cao Wei didn't know what kind of violent incident he dreamed about, and suddenly kicked Su Yan, almost kicking her under the bed.

And Cao Wei also has a lot of dissatisfaction with his wife, especially with his wife's procrastination and dawdling every time she goes out.Although he didn't say anything, he felt very uncomfortable in his heart, and he always wanted to find an opportunity to stab his wife and eliminate the grievances.Conflicts continued to occur, but neither Cao Wei nor Su Yan could find a solution in time, which eventually led to the disintegration of their marriage.

Cao Wei and Su Yan did not understand each other, which eventually led to the dissolution of their marriage.In fact, in the harbor of marriage, two people have their own unique personalities. It is normal for a husband and wife to have a period of incompatibility. It is inevitable to quarrel and fight over trivial matters in life.At this time, you should learn to be considerate of each other, and don't blame each other or criticize each other.When conflicts and frictions occur, learn to understand each other, put yourself in the shoes of the other party, and avoid doing things that hurt the other party when you are in a bad mood. Looking back, it’s just a small thing that doesn’t matter right or wrong. Need to go to war.Only by fate can we hold hands. Two people who come together under the call of love shoulder the responsibilities of the family together. Compared with love, the family needs the management of both parties, and the indispensable factor of this management is understanding.

Learn to be considerate of each other and add a ray of light to the marriage hall.

marriage with understanding

Two people walk together and form a family. Although there may be certain differences in culture and personality, as long as there is a little more understanding between each other, there will be a happy family.The American writer Heywood said: "Love is not precious dear, but long-lasting." On the road of walking hand in hand, no matter the ups and downs, they always encourage and bless each other, and share the pain and suffering, happiness and joy in life. love.As a female writer said: "Because of loving you and being loved by you, I gradually wake up and realize my own beauty and abundance; I really feel the endless need-to love other more people."

When he married her, the house was bare, except for a shelter, even the bed was borrowed, not to mention other furniture.But she spent all she had and bought a beautiful lamp to hang in the middle of the room.He asked her why she spent so much money to buy an extravagant lamp, and she smiled and said: "Bright lamps can illuminate a bright future." He didn't take it seriously, and laughed at her for believing some nonsense.

Gradually, life got better.The two moved to a new house, but she was reluctant to throw away the lamp, so she carefully wrapped it in paper and put it away.

Soon, he resigned and went to the sea, and won tens of millions of fortunes after fighting in the mall.Like all rich men, he first hired a beautiful secretary, who soon became his lover.He started going out with all sorts of excuses, and then simply stayed out at night without explanation.She persuaded him to keep him in various ways, but to no avail.

This day is his birthday, and his wife told him to go home for his birthday no matter what.He agreed, but remembered the beautiful lover's request.After hesitating, he decided to go to his lover for his birthday and then go home again.

A lover's birthday gift is an exquisite tie.He put it aside casually, he already had too much of this thing.In the middle of the night, he remembered his wife's advice, and hurried home.

Seeing the quiet and dark buildings from a distance, only the windows of my own house are bright, a distant and intimate feeling arises in my heart.That's how she waited for his return every night with the lights on.

Pushing open the door, she was sitting at the sumptuous dining table with tears streaming down her face, without any signs of fatigue.Seeing him come back, she was neither happy nor angry, she just said: "The dish is cold, I'll go and reheat it."

He didn't stop her, because he knew her painstaking efforts.When everything was ready, she took out a cardboard box and gave it to him as a birthday present.He turned it on, and it was a delicate lamp.She said with tears: "At that time, my family was poor, and I bought a good lamp to illuminate your way home; now I give you a lamp to tell you that I hope you are still the light in my heart." , can stay on until the end of my life."

He was finally moved, how much sustenance and hope is contained in a woman giving a lamp to her man!But he was ashamed of this lamp.

He eventually returned to her side.Because he already understands that love is a lamp, no matter whether it can illuminate his future or not, it will definitely illuminate a man's way home, because this light is lit by a woman from the bottom of her heart with a lifetime of love and understanding of.

Understanding is a light of love in the palace of marriage. It is always so warm and warm. We can get strength from the light, making us aware of our indispensable existence in each other's heart, and feel safe and comfortable from it. feelings.To understand the other party, we need to think from the perspective of the other party, otherwise, we will not be able to think and respond correctly, and communication will be blocked.

It is not easy for two people to come together, and they should cherish each other.Even if the other party has certain defects and behavioral mistakes, it should be forgiven.People can not escape from doing wrong?Understand each other, you will be more warm and harmonious.

When people get along with each other, conflicts and conflicts are inevitable.The relationship between husband and wife is the basic relationship of a family, and it can also be called the most delicate and difficult relationship in family relationships.In the face of each other's mistakes, we must learn to think about problems and see the world from the perspective of others, and experience life with the state of mind of others, which will shorten the distance between us.

The love ending in fairy tales is generally that the princess and the prince fall in love, and "from then on, they lived a happy life".However, reality is not a fairy tale after all, and two people cannot live a happy life just because they are in love.The difference between marriage and love is that the former can be maintained only by feelings, while the latter needs not only feelings, but also many practical things, such as economic foundation and social identity.Love is the prelude to marriage, and marriage is the destination of love, so when we are in the palace of marriage, we must learn to manage and learn to be kind to each other from the bottom of our hearts.

Understanding is a lamp, a lamp lit deep in the heart.

Feel the happiness of marriage with your heart

Weak water is three thousand, just take a scoop to drink.When I choose someone and enter the sacred palace of marriage, I will be satisfied with you in this life; now that I accept you, I will accept what will happen to you and what will happen to me in the future.This is the essence of choice.If you don't regret it when you find a better partner after many years of marriage, it means that you have already started your married life in a down-to-earth manner, and you have gained considerable harvest and joy from it.

A boy said to a girl: "If I only have a bowl of porridge, I will give half to my mother and the other half to you." So the girl fell in love with the boy.

Once there was a flood in the village, the boy was busy saving others, but did not save the girl.Someone asked him why, and the boy said: "If she dies, I won't live alone in this world." This year the girl was 20 years old, the boy was 22 years old, and the girl married the boy.

During the years of famine, the two only had a bowl of porridge, and they gave in to each other, wanting each other to eat it, but the bowl of porridge became moldy after three days.They were 40 and 42 at the time.When he was 52 years old, he was criticized because of his poor family status, and she, who was also 50 years old, willingly accompanied him.She told him, no matter how much suffering or difficulty, you are the only tributary in my life, and I will always be the source of your love.

Many years have passed, and they have become elderly people in their 70s.Once on a bus, a young man gave up his seat to them, but they refused to sit down and asked each other to stand, so the two of them leaned close together and grabbed the handrail.At this time, all the people in the car were infected by the beautiful and simple scenery, and stood up in unison, eyes full of infinite respect, as if they saw the roses in their hearts blooming, and the intoxicating warmth was soaked with strong strong love...

Only when you love with your heart can you love without complaint or regret. Only when you feel with your heart can you discover the sweetness and sweetness in marriage. Sometimes it's just a look or a word.Marriage needs to be felt with heart, and a marriage without heart will not be happy.How can you make marriage no longer a siege, but the happy paradise you yearn for?Try the following tips:
1. Don't lose sweet words

Maybe you think that sweet talk has been said in love, and it is a bit naive to do it again after marriage.If you really think so, then you are very wrong.Sometimes words are more powerful than actions, so when the other person is happy or frustrated, you should say some sweet words sincerely.

2. Find and make jokes in life

Laughing with joy is the happiest thing you can have together.Laughter lifts your spirits, lifts your mood, and warms your heart.Sharing laughter and celebrating the wonder and joy of life together is the ultimate in life.In laughter, you enjoy happiness, and your hearts are connected together.Laughing together cleanses the soul, and that's a big part of what keeps you together.

3. Remember memorable days

Such as birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.Although there is no need to celebrate with great fanfare, it is necessary to show your heart a little, to let the other person know that you value him (her).

4. Learn with each other

If your other half has a study plan, you should strongly support and encourage the other half to create learning conditions for it. It is best for you to study with her (him).In this way, it seems to be back to the student days, so that the life between husband and wife is full of positive factors, thereby shortening the gap between the two parties.

5. Schedule some “romantic time”

Take a walk with your lover.Spend 30 minutes a day exercising, exchanging feelings, relaxing emotions, exchanging ideas, conceiving goals, eliminating misunderstandings, it is best to be able to hold hands.Do something new and fun with your loved one.Go to a new restaurant, eat a different dish; attend a concert, take a unique vacation.

do something on a whim

Stimulating the mundane with a whim is one way to stay alive.It is unpredictable, requires no mastery, and is full of surprises.It's okay to have a little artificial farewell with your lover.Find an excuse to go out every once in a while, and artificially create a nostalgic mood.After a short break, the relationship between you and your lover will become more attractive, just like the magnetism of a magnet has been strengthened.Planning a surprise for two is the most direct way to show love and create memories.It can make your partner intoxicated with the beauty of love in surprises and leave a romantic memory, and you can also get great joy in the process of planning and execution.

To put it softly, it's more effective than endless yelling

The famous writer Hardy once wrote that there is an old tombstone in a cemetery somewhere in New Zealand. On it is engraved a woman's name and some words: "How gentle and lovely she is." This sad man carved these words on the woman's head. There must be countless happy memories on the tombstone.

Everyone has flaws. When two people get along, how can you avoid verbal disputes and make him willingly make changes for you?It depends on your speech style.A smart woman will use softness to control strength, and gently express her dissatisfaction, so as to take the initiative and make the relationship between the two more harmonious and happier.

(End of this chapter)