Chance encounter

Chapter 21 God Blesses Those Who Love Bravely (1)
Hopelessly "dumb" in love

Emotionally, the only answer is time.Time is the only way to solve the problem, for others, you can only wait.

Letter from Zou Ying

I was obsessively in love with a man 17 years older than me.

We communicate, love each other, and be together, but it is too short to be cherished and it will end soon.I love him obsessively, and I have been working hard to get him back, and I insist that I must really be with him.

Sometimes, behind the persistence is already full of too much sorrow and bitterness in my heart, but I can't let go, I will continue to pursue my happiness until I get his response.Sometimes, I persist so much that I can't find support.

We have very few phone conversations, and more often he has no feedback.I send a text message every morning and evening to care for him, and it lasted for nearly a quarter. It was very difficult to meet him... I clearly knew that I would continue to pursue it, but I no longer had the support and understanding of my good friends.I can completely ignore how others see me, I really just want to be with him who I like.How do I go on?

Lu Xiaopang's reply
After reading your story, how I feel, what would I do if I were put in your shoes?I will first ask myself, can I live without this person?If I can't survive a day, I will choose to bear it to the death, and I will continue to send him text messages every day, no matter whether he ignores me, no matter how wronged I am, I will grit my teeth.But if I ask myself again, maybe I can live without him, then I will make a decisive decision to stop talking to him, and I will stop sending any messages the next day. No matter how difficult it is, I have to grit my teeth and get through this period of time.Do you want to learn from me?Super masochistic can bear.No matter how much I love someone, one day when I realize with complete despair that he doesn't love me, he doesn't love me enough, I will disappear and I will never contact him again!No matter which choice you make, one thing you must understand is that there will be no less pain.But there is no way to do this, no one can help you with the pain and pain in love, you can only grit your teeth and carry this period of time by yourself, I tell you that it will definitely pass.

As for the rest, what should we do?One thing, you didn't make it very clear, but I think this person should be married, right?If you are married, then you really have nothing to say, just ignore him.It's not because of other reasons, but because you are so young and weak, you have no chance of winning in front of his marriage and family, and you will only hurt yourself more deeply.And I think it is much easier and clearer for you to start from scratch and build your own life than to rob someone else's life.

Emotionally, the only answer is time.Time is the way to solve the problem, the rest, you can only wait.

Also, let me say something to comfort you, pain is also a part of emotion, so it's nothing, it hurts as it should.But good love should not be so difficult, and should not have so much pain.Don't make every decision so easily, but once you make a decision, you must bear all the consequences of this decision, even if it hurts, even if you really can't bear it, you You have to grit your teeth and endure it, which is what we call "gritting teeth and swallowing blood".Life is like this, you can't make a decision easily, but you can't change it easily after you make a decision, especially emotionally.

Also, take my word for it, time is the best answer to all problems.Wait another six months or a year, and if you look back, you may think, why did I love this person in the first place?Maybe at that time I couldn't even think of the reason.So take it easy and give yourself some time, okay?

So sweet then, so sad now
Each of us has a different degree of devotion to this course, different aptitudes, and it happens that the difficulty of the graduation exam questions in that year is different, so our graduation time in the love course is different.

Letter from Tongtong

Xiaoyue, my best friend from college, was very strange on the phone last night. He started talking nonsense about Zhang Ziyi who was six months pregnant, and then said that there was a new neighbor next door, and the decoration was annoying to death every day.The seven aunts and eight aunts chattered for half an hour.

I tore off the mask on my face and sat up and asked, "Fang Xiaoyue, tell me how much it will cost. I have a mental preparation, which bank and card number?"

The other end of the phone suddenly became anxious: "Tongtong, you're a 'snake spirit'. If I borrowed money, I would have said so."

What is it?
Xiaoyue groaned for a long time, and finally said: "Gu Lan is getting married."

"...Oh, get married." I was a little confused.

The Gu Lan Xiaoyue mentioned was my first boyfriend.Even today, when I think of this boy again, I can't remember his face clearly, and I even forget whether the scar on his forehead is on the right or the left.

But I remember the pure joy and cruelty he gave me. Those ecstasies are like the North Star in the summer night, shining brightly; those cruelty are like thorns in the palm, and it hurts every time I think of it.

When I met Gu Lan for the first time, he was wearing a red and black plaid shirt, light blue jeans, and white sneakers, which are popular among boys of science and engineering.At first, I was the class monitor who often organized activities in the class, and he was the aloof male god who didn't participate in any activities in the class.At that time, probably no one of us would have imagined that one day we would witness each other's most youthful moments and involve each other's entire youth.

Years later, it's still funny to think about it.He bet with his roommate 20 yuan that he could catch me. This guy really worked hard to get back his money.However, after we really fell in love with each other, we realized that there is another self in this world, with the same bad tastes and preferences, and we complained to each other and hated seeing each other late.

The university passed with confidence in this way until we graduated. In 2010, we rented a one-bedroom house with one living room, 43 square meters, and the monthly rent was [-].We bought many things together, such as a simple folding wardrobe, kitchen utensils, tableware and bedding.When Gu Lan cooks, I am responsible for washing the dishes. When I see Gu Lan setting fire in the kitchen, I sometimes feel like a dream: this is life.

When I first started working, Gu Lan always came to the bus station to pick me up from get off work.You know the summer in Beijing. I often look at the sea. Gu Lan stood on the curb with her umbrella and stretched her neck waiting for me to come back.Seeing him through the torrential rain outside the car window always gave me an extraordinary bliss.As soon as he caught sight of my shadow, he jumped into knee-deep water and took my hand home.

Gradually I learned to cook, and my cooking skills are not bad.Xiaoyue often comes to our house to eat, and you can see a flight attendant with her sleeves rolled up at my table, eating like a fool.Seeing the two of them by my side makes me feel very at ease. Being able to be with my lover and friends is already a gift from God to me.

How innocent and unreserved we were when we were young, it seemed that we had to exhaust all our energy in this relationship.After people are satisfied with food and clothing, they will feel that the word happiness has little to do with money, or even has nothing to do with it.

But Gu Lan didn't think so. He always wanted to start a business, and he read a lot of books on success.To this day, I still remember him telling me categorically: "Honey, I will marry you as soon as I have the money to marry!" I firmly believe it, and I only want to live a light life with him.

Then Gu Lan started to change jobs non-stop, changing jobs with high salaries, and seldom eating at home.Our conversations are dwindling day by day, maybe we are already tired enough of wandering and wandering, yes, how can there be so much to talk about!Before eating peanuts, Gu Lan always crushed the red skin of the peanuts and handed the peanut kernels to my mouth; every time I ate fish, I picked out all the spines and put them in my bowl.But later, at the silent dinner table at home, I quietly watched him play with his mobile phone and have fun, and the lock screen of the mobile phone was not the usual password.

When I was a little slow to find out that his female colleague Tianxue was having an affair with him, we had a big fight. Gu Lan swore that he didn't do anything sorry to me and changed jobs to end it until Tianxue was there Knocking on my door at noon on the weekend.I could barely speak, and I couldn't even hear how Xiaoyue next to me threw her out.

After Gu Lan came back at night, she directly asked me what happened to Tianxue and why she kept crying.Hehe, she keeps crying, do you feel distressed?It all happened so fast and the heartbreak caught me off guard.Hysterically, I asked him to choose between me and Tianxue, and repeatedly lowered himself into the dust, during which he gently answered Tianxue's phone call.With tears in my eyes, I was almost hit by despair in my heart. Before he hung up the phone, I rushed out the door.

The root of human suffering is probably not getting what we want.

Fortunately, you are finally married, and I no longer have to think about you all the time.

Ex boyfriend married, but the bride is not me.Sister Luyu, how should I let go of this relationship?
Lu Xiaopang's reply
Hello everyone, I am in Hong Kong now.To put it simply, you will feel very envious of me, because I filmed Wu Yanzu practicing boxing in the afternoon, and had breakfast and lunch with Mr. Cai Lan during the day.But eating this thing, which is beautiful in life, is too painful to photograph.I haven’t opened my eyes in the morning. From nine o’clock in the afternoon to two o’clock in the afternoon, I ate chicken, duck, fish, pig, beef, large intestine, goose, various rice noodles, and moon cakes. My strong stomach is a little bit now. Can't stand it.However, Mr. Cai Lan said something in the afternoon that made a deep impression on me.I asked him his views on emotions at that time, and he always looked calm and breezy.I said that if there is no major emotional pain, it is actually quite boring.He said of course there was, but it was all over because I graduated early.I said, ah, when can I graduate?Can everyone graduate?He said of course.I really believe what he said, but each of us has a different degree of devotion to this course, different talents, and it happens that the difficulty of the graduation exam questions that year is different, so our graduation time in the love course is different. is different.

Tongtong asked me this question today. Judging from the information you sent me, both your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at the time made a fatal mistake, which is unforgivable in my opinion, that is, ignorance.Emotional problems, whether they are between two people or complicated to three or four people, should always be solved one-on-one. Who should be responsible for you, you should go to that person and don’t involve others, especially if you can’t Involving an innocent person, such as you.No matter how two people are together, posture is very important when breaking up. This is when looking at character.I really don't say this because you are a girl, I am facing you.I am a person who has no gender awareness, but I strongly believe that when facing emotional problems, people must have decency, and human dignity is very important.The more painful you are, the more you should have posture and dignity.You can call me pedantic and hypocritical, but this is what I believe.

Yesterday was Eileen Chang's anniversary, and I saw an article with a very novel angle, about Eileen Chang, Sanmao and Brigitte Lin.It talked about Brigitte Lin's relationship.Back then, Lin Qingxia said that when she saw Qin Han for the first time, she saw him wearing a white shirt and black trousers, which was exactly the same as her expectations for Prince Charming, and she fell in love with him instantly, it was love at first sight.The two of them have been in love for many years, but when Brigitte Lin got engaged, her fiancé was not Qin Han.After the two got back together, Lin Qingxia told Qin Han that she called Qin Han from San Francisco the night before the engagement, hoping that Qin Han could stop her, but he didn't.Then Qin Han said, you are a tragic life, and if you are performing tragedy, there will be a tragic ending.Lin Qingxia said stubbornly, I just want to show you, I just want to act in comedy.Of course life is not that simple, and she did not marry that fiancé, nor did she marry Qin Han.

What I want to say is that there will be many people in this world who are brave enough to be willing to risk their lives for love, but those who do not risk their lives are not enough to love.But let me tell you one more thing, you will even forget why you fell in love with this person who makes you suffer so much in the first place, or after a few years, when you think of this person, you will feel a little tender and sad in your heart, And that's all.So the process is on your own, but I can help you see the ending.But as Mr. Cai Lan said, you will graduate.I hope you remember the boys you loved with tenderness and gratitude.No matter what you have experienced, you have to live your life well now. There will be many passers-by in your life. No matter who comes and who goes, you must always get along with yourself.The pain of not being loved, the pain of not being loved, the pain of losing a loved one, the darkness, life is better than death, I understand.Dear Tongtong, there is no way!I am also often afraid, if I have been immersed in the past, unable to get out, no longer love, no longer be loved, what is the meaning of life? In the first film version of Sex and the City ("Sex and the City"), Carrie was sent a pigeon by Mr.Big on the eve of the wedding, and Carrie was heartbroken.The girlfriends accompanied her to Mexico to relax, and she asked in despair: "Will there be a day when I can laugh?" The girlfriend said: "Of course I will. When something really really funny happens. (Really funny You'll have fun when it happens.)" Sure enough, Charlotte pulled up her pants and Carrie smiled!I always remember that episode, when something really really funny happens, I'll have fun!That person, perhaps, will show up too.

Waiting for someone who doesn't love you is like waiting for a ship at the airport
If you feel that he doesn't love you enough, worry that you have no future, and struggle to leave him, then he must not love you enough, and you will eventually separate.

Lyceum's letter

Hello little fat, my name is Lan Xin, I just got divorced not long ago, because my husband had an affair, I don't want to forgive him.I don't love him anymore, I'm in love with someone else, a married man.I don't want to break up his family, I just want to stay by his side silently.I know this is not good, I wanted to cut off contact with him several times, but I would miss him like crazy after a few days, what should I do?He loves me, but loves his wife more.I really want to stay with him, how can I make him treat me as well as his wife?Lu Xiaopang, help me, I feel like I'm about to collapse.

Lu Xiaopang's reply
When I am at home, I am used to sitting on the ground, reading books, watching dramas, eating, drinking, and occasionally getting up to open the refrigerator and go to the bathroom. In the past, I would say in my heart: Don't forget later, don't step on it.

Then the day before yesterday, I finally broke my glasses legs. Murphy's Law (Murphy's Law) said: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.I believe this more and more.

For example, if a slice of bread with jam falls on the carpet, it must land on the side with the jam on it; on the plane, you put the book you just bought in the seat pocket of the front seat, thinking to remember to take it when you get off the plane, but it turns out Certainly not.

Things that can go wrong always go wrong, and so do relationships.If you feel that he doesn't love you enough, worry that you have no future, and struggle to leave him, then he must not love you enough, and you will eventually separate.I'm that pessimistic.

My girlfriend, Chu, has been with her ex-boyfriend for five years. The boyfriend said that marriage is not important and he doesn't want children.Not wanting children is exactly what Chu wants, but Chu doesn't reject marriage, it's just that they don't propose.

(End of this chapter)