Chance encounter

Chapter 28 Topics (4)
What the hell is an open relationship?

And the so-called open, I can't accept it at all.I don't set fires, and I don't allow you to light lamps.If it's good, stay together, if it's not good, separate, open a ghost.

Ah Qi's letter

My parents are struggling people, my mother is a very attractive woman, opened several lingerie stores, and my father also became the head of a hotel from scratch.When they first got married, although they were busy day and night, they understood and appreciated each other. My mother said that at that time, I was full of expectations for future life, baby, and husband and wife business plans.

They had me in the sixth year after their marriage. At that time, my mother was already 35 years old, and her temper was getting stronger and stronger. My father had a relationship with a woman in a strange way during a study abroad.Later, my father confessed to my mother. My mother suffered for a while, but finally decided to continue her life.

The thing that broke me down was in the fourth grade of elementary school. I saw my mother walking side by side in the arms of a man.I was so scared that I turned around and ran home, realizing that my mother had cheated on me.I frightenedly concealed and observed, and dared not speak or ask. Looking back later, the atmosphere at home in those few years was very strange.My dad seems to know and doesn't seem to know. He often goes away for several days on business trips.By the time I was in high school, I was basically sure: they acquiesced to each other's betrayal, maybe in order not to affect my studies, they didn't divorce.

I will always remember that day, before the start of the university, a family of three celebrated my admission to higher education.Looking at the smiling faces of my parents, I felt very depressed, and told them, you should get a divorce, don't force it.Both of them were shocked at the time, and the three of them didn't eat a bite of food.Later, my mother came to my room and put on a heart-to-heart expression, but she said the most damaging words in my life, to the effect that she and my father couldn't let go of the feelings of fighting together for these years, and it was impossible to find another one It is more suitable than the other party, the current state can be accepted by both of them, and they have never thought about divorce...

I was shocked at the time, what is "the current state can be accepted by both of you"?Each play their own way?At that time, I thought why there are such couples in the world?

After I went to college, I would not go back if I could not go home for various big and small holidays. I can't explain how I feel in my heart. I feel that I am superfluous to that family.Sometimes I really want my parents to "get back together"!On my birthday this year, my dad sent me a long, long message, going around and talking a lot, and finally told me that all the property under his and my mom’s names will only be left to me, they love I.

When I read the news that day, I cried for a long time. Maybe I should try to accept this weird family relationship, and then I would feel a little bit of a "open relationship" when I saw the word "open relationship".I don't know if my parents have really accepted each other's cheating in their hearts these years, I don't understand.Can so-called open relationships really lead to happiness?Will two people really be happy?Can such a relationship really go to the end?
In any case, I can't accept it from the bottom of my heart.

Letter from Monica

Personal test, regarding open relationships, don't try if you are not strong enough!Thin-skinned don't try it!Don't try it if you're jealous!Do not try if you are too sensitive!Don't try if you have too many fantasies about love!Especially if you are possessive, don't try it!
Both my boyfriend and I are very free and easy people, what does it mean to be very free and easy?He only needs to send a WeChat message to report that he is safe and did not return all night, and I will not check the post.Half a year after we fell in love, we graduated from university and fell in love. During that time, I turned into a workaholic and rarely took care of him. Then he accidentally (no. Small. Heart.) slept with a primary school girl, and came to me crying and begging Forgive me, that was the first time I felt that I was a weirdo, and I actually felt that as long as he only gave his heart to me, it seemed to be fine...

Later, I became obsessed with the "Shuaibi" male colleagues in the company.At first, I just wanted to make my boyfriend jealous. After a few jokes, he tentatively asked me if I really liked that male colleague.I told him with all my heart and soul that I was just controlling my appearance and being physically pleasing to the eye.Then the guy told me with a serious face that life is long and full of temptations, and it is understandable that you don't want to sleep with only one person in your life.That was the second time I felt that I was a weirdo, and I actually thought he was right...

Feeling my conscience, if that "handsome" male colleague came to "seduce" me, and I reached an "open relationship" agreement with the male ticket, then what would hinder my final bottom line?

It has to be mentioned that my mother called me three times a day after she found out about my boyfriend cheating on me, urging me to break up.My best friend asked me how I could endure being cheated by someone I liked with the expression of seeing a monster.Maybe I really have a "special constitution".But I really feel that as long as he only loves me, and I am his only soul mate, it seems that it is not unacceptable to let each other fly away physically...

Well, I admit that we are just two weirdos. But, just a few days ago, my mother completely confused me with one sentence. How can you be sure that he (she) loves only you when you have sex with another opposite sex?
How exactly?I also began to doubt.

Lu Xiaopang's reply
If you want to talk about open relationship today, let's talk about relationship first.Every relationship has a reason for its existence. Different ages and experiences determine different reasons. The reason does not matter whether it is correct, but as long as the reason exists, a relationship has vitality.

The first love at the age of 15, because of curiosity, is the kind of very innocent children's love, but most innocent things can't last for years, so after the high school entrance examination, the children broke up. 20 years old, the real first love, not for anything else, just because of love, but most of love is very fragile when it encounters reality, so many campus loves can't break through the curse of graduation, and they also fall apart.

At the age of 35, I got married and started a business. Of course, there are emotions in the marriage for many years, but it is more because of mutual familiarity and habit, because of having children, and various intertwined economic and social relationships, and the power of reality is always extremely powerful. Breaking up is much harder than falling in love.

Emotional things can only be understood after experience, so young souls cannot understand those vicissitudes of life.I especially understand the feeling of Ah Qi's three views being shattered, but the so-called growth is a tragic process of constantly being shattered, rebuilt and then shattered.

I still remember that the first time my three views were shattered was when I had lunch in the Guangyuan cafeteria before the winter vacation of my freshman year.The students gossip that there is a big brother who works in the special class. He is a generous and friendly man with a family and children, but he actually has a girlfriend.At that time, I was completely stunned, and my heart seemed to collapse all of a sudden.I think the adult world is terrible, everyone looks suspicious and hateful.

That was me back then.Now I can calmly observe all kinds of unbelievable lifestyles from a distance, because I understand the complexity and fragility of human nature.When I was 22, my dad told me that emotional change is absolute and you have to allow it to change—that was the second time my three views were shattered.

So Ah Qi, there is no way to grow without smashing.As for your parents, they have chosen a way of life that is acceptable to each other. You can be sad and break down, but you have no right to intervene.

And the so-called open, I can't accept it at all.I don't set fires, and I don't allow you to light lamps.If it's good, stay together, if it's not good, separate, open a ghost.And some relationships seem to be opened in a very modern style, but they are only temporary. In the end, everyone either separates or returns to a closed off relationship to occupy. This is human nature.

So, of course I believe open will exist, but I don't believe it will ever work.

And Monica's letter, about her boyfriend who accidentally slept with an elementary school girl and regretted it.My three views were once again shattered by the words "accidentally".Wrestling is carelessness, losing your ID card is carelessness, sleeping requires too many procedures, how big is your heart to be so careless?Therefore, it is understandable to be vulnerable, but I cannot accept finding a way.

We are ordinary people, and if we are human, we can be scumbags.May God love us so much and give us a person who will make us completely scumbag, and that person will never have the idea of ​​scumbag because of our existence.We all have a restless devil living in our hearts, so that we can be each other's terminator (devil terminator).

Does it make sense to pursue [-]% loyalty in love?
I have always believed and encouraged myself, as long as I can persevere, be brave enough, and always dare to give my sincerity, maybe one day I will still get a certificate of love.

letter from meow

It's been exactly three days since he was confirmed cheating.I never dreamed that such a dramatic event would occur during these short three days.

On Friday the 7th, my husband came to the company to pick me up as usual.I ran into a seller of chestnuts downstairs in the company. I really wanted to eat them, so I pestered my husband to buy them for me.My husband was a little abnormal that day, and he shook my hand and showed embarrassment.I thought he was afraid of being embarrassed when he saw acquaintances at the door of my company, and made fun of him for learning to be shy.

Back to my in-laws for dinner at night.I wash dishes with my mother-in-law in the kitchen, while my husband watches TV and plays with his mobile phone with my father-in-law in the living room.After a while, my husband went to the bathroom, and I picked up my husband's mobile phone casually.At this moment, I would like to thank "Joe Gangzhu" for its design, and the content of new text messages can be directly seen on the mobile phone. "I miss you, when will you come over here!" The sender was "Old Liu" - the partner that my husband often talked about.

There was a whirlwind.what happened?

When my husband came back from the bathroom, I casually said that I needed to change clothes, and took the opportunity to take my mobile phone away.The following is the chat record between her husband and "Old Liu":

Husband: Your brain is flooded, the appraisal is complete!

Lao Liu: I am, and I have water in my body!
Husband: I touch it.

Lao Liu: Get lost.

Husband: I'll give you as much as you want.

Lao Liu: Hey, how about you?

Husband: COME ON.Never mind his chestnuts.

Lao Liu: I want to eat chestnuts, and I want to eat you too!

……

I have been married to my husband for three years, and the relationship between us has always been very good. I have never doubted him.I don't think this kind of thing will happen to me.But suddenly, it just happened, and judging from their chat records, they had sex.

I still can't believe it.

My husband kept calling me, knocking on the door to play with his mobile phone, I quickly calmed down, changed my clothes and came out.They didn't notice any changes in me. Everyone was watching TV, which was a replay of Zhao Benshan's sketch.Both my in-laws and him laughed very happily, and I also smiled, but my heart kept shaking.

That night I went to sleep like nothing happened.In the evening, after he finished washing, he came to hug me and said good night to his wife before going to bed.I endured the heartache and told myself over and over again that I must hold back, after all, my in-laws cannot erupt at home, but my body keeps shaking.My husband probably found something, hugged me from behind and asked me what was wrong.As soon as he touched the pillow and found it was wet, he turned on the light and asked me what was wrong.

At that time, I endured it desperately and said that it was fine, but I encountered some unhappy things at work.I bit my lip desperately, trembling all the time.He panicked, hugged me and kept asking me what was wrong.

I just stared at him blankly, and suddenly felt that he was very strange, and some serious pictures appeared in my mind, and tears flowed straight down.

I asked, "Who is Lao Liu?"

I regretted it a bit when I said it, at least I should figure out everything, at least let myself have some initiative.But there is no way, the words have already been exported.The husband froze for a moment, then fell silent.It's March and it's still cold at night, and I'm standing there in my undressed, helpless, like it's me cheating and not him.

Then something he said nearly broke me.After sighing, he said: You know everything.

I almost forgot what happened next.I didn't sleep that night, and he kept explaining that it was just a one-night relationship with that woman, but she kept pestering him.I put on a down coat and sat on the sofa just watching him explain and explain.He explained that he was tired and went to the kitchen to pour water. Looking at the cup he drank from, I suddenly felt very sick. It was a "Vientiane" thermos cup I gave him during the Chinese New Year.At that time, I thought it was very beautiful, so I bought it for him. Now I feel that when his lips that kissed other women touch the cup, the cup will be stained.

In this way, in the early morning, I calmed down and said that now that my in-laws are at home, I don't want to ask more things, let me calm down.In this way, I went to work overtime early the next morning. In fact, there was nothing in the unit, and I probably wanted to escape.

At noon, my husband sent me a text message: "Baby, I don't know if I can call you like that. The only thing I want to say is that I am very sorry, very, very, really, forgive me..."

"Are you better? Do you still have a headache? Remember to eat at noon. You are sick and don't go to work. Go home, okay? Let mom take care of you. I miss you very much, even though I don't have the right to miss you now..."

"I thought about it for a long time, really damn, why would I do such a thing."

"Suddenly afraid of losing you, don't do this, you can't do this, forgive me..."

I didn't answer any of them.

I've been at a friend's house at night and don't want to go home.Around nine o'clock, my husband called me to go home and asked me where to pick me up.After I gave the address, he drove over soon.Seeing that familiar white Buick, I was suddenly very reluctant to get in the car, whether the woman had also been in this car, or even done something in this car.

Everyone was silent in the car.When he got downstairs, he parked the car, didn't get out of the car, and said suddenly: I had a showdown with her, we broke up, and I will not be with her again in the future, please forgive me, I was really wrong.

After hearing it, I didn't feel much in my heart, only a feeling that I was out of anger.I ignored him and went upstairs.

Then I moved out and have been living with my single girlfriend's house...

What should I do, I still love him, how should I face my husband?

Lu Xiaopang's reply
Meow meow:

I haven't finished my day yet.Today is very hot and very tired. I am shooting the promotional video of "I am a Speaker" in a studio that looks like a wedding photo studio.There are a lot of wedding dresses piled up in one room of the studio. I was thinking, Meow, did you take such wedding photos before you got married?

To answer your question, I feel very depressed because marriage is so fragile.Let me start with my point of view. Most people talk about persuasion and not persuasion, but I think that reconciliation should of course be reconciled, but if it should be divided, it must be divided. I don't agree with making do and making do, which is too wronged myself.Maybe my personality is a bit more violent, I always prefer to be broken than to be whole.Of course, such people are more extreme, and it is not easy to be happy, but I am such a person, so the answer I give must be based on my personality.

Today's question everyone is asking, should we pursue [-]% loyalty in marriage.My answer is extreme, yes.Because no one is forcing anyone to get married, I have never thought that getting married is something that everyone must complete in their life.Since no one is forcing you to get married, you can choose to be a particularly free bachelor for the rest of your life.But once you get married, you can't just enjoy the benefits and benefits that marriage brings to you. You don't take responsibility at all, and you don't accept the constraints that marriage brings to you. Why?So either you don't get married, or you obediently stay loyal, and if you don't, then you're left alone, I think it's that simple and fair.

In marriage and relationship, I think I can bear the pain, but I can't bear the ugliness.If your husband says to you, meow, I fell in love with someone else, or he just wants to say, I did something sorry for you, please forgive me.If he said that, at least he was still a responsible man.But he actually put all the faults and all the responsibilities on another woman so easily, I think it's boring to do so.

(End of this chapter)