Chance encounter

Chapter 3 Live according to your own wishes, others shut up (2)
Letter from Xiaomeng

Lu Xiaopang, hello, I'm Xiaomeng.My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship and got together in high school.Then he enlisted, and I went to college, now a junior.With a deeper understanding, I found that he has many places that give me headaches.He interfered with my freedom and prevented me from being in contact with other male friends.There are always some group activities in our college and clubs. When he heard that I was with boys, especially at night, he would lose his temper and find fault with me.When I called at night, if I had something to do outside and dared not answer the phone, he would become even more suspicious and suspicious.He asked me to wear skirts that must be below the knees, not to wear suspenders in summer, and not to wear thin clothes.It's so hot here in summer, do we have to wear warm trousers?Now that we are in a different place, I think I will gradually adapt to each other in the future.As a result, he came to me on vacation last summer, and when he saw me wearing a short skirt, he turned his head and got angry.When I said I was wearing leggings, he didn't understand and thought I did it on purpose.

I have a roommate who is Japanese-Chinese. She was born in Japan and grew up in China. I usually get close to her and often mention her to my boyfriend on the phone.My boyfriend asked me to avoid contact with her. He said that the Chinese who became Japanese were the dogs who forgot their ancestors.In fact, the roommate’s family was a laborer several generations ago. Recently, her mother was hospitalized for uterine fibroids.I mentioned to my boyfriend that he opened his mouth and said "this kind of person deserves it", and I was stunned!What kind of mentality is this? I understand that the country's enemies can't be forgotten, but his extreme mentality surprised and frightened me!
I am more and more afraid of him. Many of his principles are as hard as a steel plate.He loves me very much, and cares about me all the time. While asking me to be self-disciplined, he is also very self-disciplined.But there was something inhuman about him that terrified me.He is a good man, and he will definitely be a responsible husband in the future, but I am getting more and more unable to open my heart to him...

Fatty, the days I walked with him were long and difficult but very beautiful, but now, how should I continue to maintain this relationship that makes me dread and loathe?

Letters from Lemon Salad

Hello Xiaopang, I am a middle-level leader of a foreign company. I usually work in a gentle style, and I am more polite with my subordinates.My boss said that I want to be popular too much, and being a leader is to appear as a ruling class, and there is no room for generous people in the workplace.

The workplace is like a battlefield, women need to do too much to go into battle.Have weapons, have goals, do tasks, and share the same hatred with everyone.How to maintain the charm value, how to be a young mature woman, capable and capable, and how to be appreciated by comrades-in-arms, popular, and even willing to help you block guns... This is really a big problem. Andy said in "Ode to Joy" that there are only two kinds of women in the company: the iron lady, or the stunning vase.Can't I be a gentle working woman?
This society is harsh on practitioners.You have done a lot of work but the boss doesn’t want to see you, there is a subordinate who is not very capable and has a bad temper, colleagues are jealous and have no good intentions, customers are going to fly... a woman, how to make the leaders pay attention, subordinates follow, colleagues Appreciate, customers Favoring, being happy, you really need a pentathlon.

I remember Xiaopang once said in an episode of the program that during the 20 years you have been working, you have a lot of uncertainties in your heart, and there are times when you even feel that you are a loser.But Xiaopang has been doing very well. You have many fans who like you, you have colleagues who like you, you have a lifestyle that you feel happy, and you seem to take it calmly.how did you do it?
Lu Xiaopang's reply
Xiaomeng, if my boyfriend stipulates that I can’t have contact with other men, can’t wear short skirts, can’t wear camisoles, and it’s best not to make friends with non-Chinese nationality, I think the premise I can accept is-I’m crazy I love him so much, I can't live without him.But I don't think I'm crazy like that.

Although most of my friends are girlfriends and gay friends, my skirts are not too short, and my camisole is almost used as a base layer, but my friends do hold various passports.And whoever wants to block my right to choose and dictate my life, my temper will come.

You said your boyfriend is a good man and responsible, I believe it.But I hope I love a good man, not just because he is a good man. Every Jack has his Jill, every pot has its lid.It is said that God prepares a Jack for every Jill, and you have to find him. Now this is not the case.Good luck finding the one that matches yours.

Lemon Salad asked what kind of women are popular in the workplace.Men will never worry about this problem, because there is only one standard for men in the workplace: get things done (get things done).As for women, in addition to being capable, they have to be popular (popular).Why?Why?The workplace is not a popularity contest (popularity contest).As long as you are capable and of good character, you will naturally be valued by your superiors and followed by your subordinates.You are the best when everyone loves you, if not, so what?Many times, the shackles are made by others, but we put them on ourselves.Sarah, you must not fall into this routine.

As far as you saying I look like I can figure everything out, that's an illusion.In fact, I am not confident enough, and sometimes my self-awareness is low.I live on my terms, but that doesn't mean I don't care about the eyes around me.I think my mind is free, but I also have a paper shackle on my body.

In the past two days, the girl's speech at the University of Maryland was scolded to death.I don't know her and her psychology, but the lesson I learned from it was: Don't just do and say the "right" thing, do what you believe is right, say what you believe is right.Because the former is to cater to others, while the latter is loyal to oneself.Life is similar to the workplace, it doesn't matter whether you are aggressive or lazy, this is your life.Anyway, life is not a popularity contest.

Recently, I've been following the American drama Suits ("Suits"), which is very good.I especially appreciate the attitude towards life that is not procrastinating, not concealing, and has a sense of proportion.Lemon salad, take a look, it will be inspiring.

What made you incapable of responding?

This world does not believe in the weak and tears, I know I will not be the strongest one, so I will not recklessly resist.But I want to be flexible and at peace and not to be broken; I want to be able to learn and grow and get better.

letter from pink cindy
Hello sister Luyu, I have always liked you very much.I am a high school student. Because of an illness, I need to take hormone-containing medicines, but the side effects of hormones made me a big fat man, and my whole body swelled up like a blown up balloon.I was not pretty at first, I was thin and my eyes were small, but now I am fat and feel inferior.

At that time, the boys in our class gave me a nickname, but I won’t say the name is too indecent.Slowly the nickname spread.But what really made me "popular" was that our class was going to hold a cultural performance. My mother said that I would look whiter in pink clothes. That day I happily wore new clothes to the performance.

As a result, my skirt was torn because of an action during the performance, and I made a fool of myself on stage.I thought it was unlucky enough, but I didn't expect that the next day, a photo of me wearing pink clothes appeared on the school's post bar.My hands were shaking when I saw the title of the post bar.

After reading the comments below, I was stunned, full of unsightly words, and now thinking about it makes me tremble all over.My good friend couldn't stand it anymore, and replied a few words for me, but they also became the targets of siege.I don't know who are the people who laugh at me and why they say that about me.

Now when I think about it, I cry, I don’t want to go to school, I am afraid that my classmates will point and point at me on the road, so I dare not post it again.School will start after a while, everyone should have forgotten about it, right?But if they continue to laugh at me, what should I do, Sister Luyu?

Lu Xiaopang's reply
Pink Cindy's question hit me, even though it sounded childish: nicknames between classmates, bad but not heinous jokes, sarcastic remarks.If it is campus bullying, will it mean that it is online?
But who gave us the crude right?Why do we export hurt people?If being open-mouthed is considered a virtue, why is it that bad words are blurted out?

For two days I've been hating myself too.On the weekend of last week, a friend who had lived overseas for a long time returned to Beijing and had dinner at a Japanese grocery store.During the dinner, there were doctors, media people, and businessmen, all of whom were elegant and funny, except for a middle-aged white and fat man who was eccentric (I have no prejudice against other middle-aged white and fat men, but this one really offended me). beside.It was very strange, since the moment I was seated, he was very unfriendly towards me and my program, inside and out.

I am a person who is very afraid of making others unhappy.If the game of the friend group ends in a disappointment because of my turnaround, I will definitely not forgive myself.What's even worse is that I am a person who can speak, but many times I don't want to speak, dare not speak, do not want to speak, and cannot speak.Slowly, I seem to have lost the ability to respond.

At that time, my face was very ugly, but after thinking about it, I just said: "Did I offend you?" Then I ignored him.This man later brought a few friends over to toast, and I remained indifferent the whole time.

After warmly inviting me to clink glasses, one of the chubby businessmen looked at me seriously and said, "You are too thin, don't you have anorexia?" I instinctively wanted to throw the tea or sashimi in front of him on his glass. Greasy face, but my damn upbringing and character only allowed me to say with a livid face: "boring."

(End of this chapter)