Chance encounter

Chapter 7 Take the first step, life may suddenly become clear (3)
Shuo Xin, I think most of you will envy my life, so if I complain again, it will appear hypocritical.However, I think my fear will only be more or less than yours, so I often need to say to myself: Don't let the bastards get you down.

In the new year, you should round up your life
The fragility and complexity of human nature will make emotions vulnerable, because all emotions are not final, and require luck and hard work, even if it is a blood relationship that seems to be taken for granted.

Letter from Qiuli

Hello, Fatty.Chinese New Year is coming soon, everyone is busy buying gifts, going home, and getting together, but I haven't bought a ticket yet.

If I don't go home again this year, this will be the fifth Spring Festival that I don't go home.It wasn't because of busy work, long distance, or lack of money. It was the heavy-smoking man at home—my father, a man who never laughed.The silent pressure and indifference on his body made me feel suffocated every minute and every second I stayed in that house.

What I tell him in a year will not be more than what I talk to my colleagues in a day.

On the 27th of the twelfth lunar month, one week later, it is my birthday, but none of my friends know.I lied to them that I was born on New Year's Eve, but it was not.I am 26 years old, and I have never had a birthday in 26 years, because this day is the death anniversary of my two closest relatives!One is my mother, a big beauty, everyone says I look like her, but I've only seen her in pictures.The other is my younger brother. He has only lived in this world for more than ten minutes, and he has never even uttered a cry.

On December 1990, 27, the day I was born 26 years ago, my mother was exhausted after struggling for hours on the operating table.The doctor said that she had amniotic fluid embolism and couldn't hold on anymore.My twin brother was born by caesarean section and sent to the first aid.In the end, only I survived among the mother and son!My grandma said that my father passed out twice, went into shock, and looked horrific.After he woke up, he didn't hug me, and he didn't even look at me.

I have been in poor health since I was a child. I suffered from jaundice and pneumonia, and I stayed in the incubator for a long time.Grandma said that I was like a sick mouse, sick and spiritless since childhood.My aunts said that my life was hard, but I realized when I grew up that the hard life they said meant that they would kill their relatives.

If I had a choice, I would rather never be born, let my mother and my brother survive, or I die with them!Since I was born, I have been ignored by my only relative.Everyone who talks about my mom and my dead brother shakes their heads and sighs in front of me like I survived with two lives.Does anyone else think it's up to me to decide!

Growing up, my father only gave money to my grandma to raise me. He didn't even go to the parents' meeting that he had to attend after high school graduation.I rarely get in touch with him alone, he seldom speaks, never smiles, every time I meet him, I feel that he is much older, because every time I see him, it takes half a year.When I was in school, he went out to work, and I met less when I was working.I go home twice a year and stay at my grandma's house. He comes to visit and sometimes doesn't even eat a meal.

In my sophomore year, I got pneumonia, and I was alone in the hospital for an injection. I called my grandma many times but no one answered, so I finally called him.I was so nervous that it was the first time I cried to him.I couldn't say anything on the phone, and I cried for a long time, with mixed emotions, but until the end, he didn't say a word of comfort, even telling me not to be afraid.He gave me money, just like giving money to grandma when I was a child, as if money can solve all problems, maybe my life or death has nothing to do with him.

Can't seem to understand?Hehe, I was born in a patriarchal family.My grandfather left no inheritance to his daughters, and I was the youngest girl in the family, my dad's only child, a daughter.I survived, his son and wife are gone.So, I can understand.

Sorry, fat, my story is a bit negative, I hope it didn't affect your mood.I don't know whether to go home or not, and I hesitate at the end of every year.A few years ago, my grandma started to spend the New Year at her son and daughter's house in turn, so I had to go to him when I went back.He is old, almost 60 years old, suffering from rheumatism.I also want to buy things for him. Like my colleagues, I buy large and small packages from the Internet and send them home, but will he respond?I even wonder if he would want it?
Thinking of his state, so indifferent to death, I'm afraid even thinking about it.Fatty, I miss home too, but I really don't know what to do.

Xiao Pei's letter

Sister Luyu, I am a "post-90s" girl.A fire changed my life when I was three years old. I narrowly escaped death but was permanently disabled.

For a girl, disability from burns is a lifelong annoyance.Six years ago, I was lucky enough to meet a boy who didn't care about my handicap. He treated me very well, and our relationship was stable and delicate.Because of knowing him, I have renewed hope in life.I'm at school and he's at work. Although he doesn't speak sweet words, he will secretly buy me a bouquet of flowers and gifts on my birthday every year and holiday. They are not expensive, but they are thoughtful; Delicate, yet warm.

He is a gentle person who carefully protects my extremely sensitive and inferior heart because of my disability.Walking on the street, he deliberately ignored the strange eyes of passers-by on me.He won't promise me, he said, what's the use of saying that you can't do more?But as long as he can do it for me, I don't say he will do it.It hasn't changed since we've known each other.

However, we can't be together anyway, because his family has always disagreed.Indeed, I am a disabled person, and I can understand the worries and dissatisfaction of his family, but I also want to be with the one I love.I have been trying to be like others. I can cook, wash clothes, and tie my own hair. I can do everything they know, but I can't be like them with the people I love.

Once, he was beaten so badly by his family members that they begged him to give up, but he said he couldn't.He often said that I want to marry you in my dreams. He often said that one side is my favorite person and the other side is family. It is painful to choose.In order not to embarrass him, we also tried to give up several times, but it didn't work.People have feelings. We have been together for six years and depend on each other. We cannot do without each other.

In October of this year, I came to the city where he works, went to and from get off work with him every day, and went back to cook for him and wash his clothes. Those were the happiest days for me.Then I found out that I was pregnant, and we all wanted to have the baby, but his family forced me to abort it, and took him away after that.Before I left, I bought a jacket for my uncle (his father), because I knew they were going home and it was already very cold at home.I love him, so I love his family, I don't hate them, I understand their desire for their son's marriage.

However, I also want to simply be with the person I love.I am physically disabled, but my mind and soul are sound, and it does not affect my normal life.Sister Luyu, if the two of us escape the shackles of the family together and insist on living the life we ​​want, will he be happy?Will he regret it after a while?Can unblessed love have eternal happiness?
Fatty's reply

Debbie Reynolds (Debbie Reynolds) and Carrie Fisher (Carrie Fisher) mother and daughter passed away one after another at the beginning of the year, only one day apart.Regarding the entertainment gossip about the two of them, please go to Baidu by yourself, I will not repeat them, but their respective masterpieces "Singin' in the Rain", "Star Wars", "When Harry Met Sally", and other works based on them Postcards From The Edge ("Years and Stardust") can take time to look again.

The mother and daughter were eventually buried together, and it is said that some of the ashes were deliberately mixed together.In the last few years of their lives, they were indeed mother and daughter, but for ten years, the two cut off contact. Carrie said she hated living in Debbie's shadow growing up. Debbie also said that she doesn't bake cookies, doesn't drive her kids to and from school, and she likes being on stage.

I used to be very puzzled, how could father and son, mother and daughter, and relatives be strangers, or even turn against each other?Now I understand a little bit that the fragility and complexity of human nature will make emotions vulnerable, because all emotions are not final, and require luck and hard work, even if it is a blood relationship that seems to be taken for granted.

I sympathize with Qiuli's experience, but I can't encourage you, because I am a pessimistic person.I feel that any good relationship has the potential to go bad, and the possibility of a bad relationship getting better is almost impossible.

But what I want to tell you is: your dad is not a bad person, he is not a scumbag, he just lacks the strength and ability to love.

Half of him died the day he lost his wife and son, and the remaining half was only enough for him to barely survive.He was a man utterly crushed by grief from which he could never recover.You can't expect someone who's ashamed to love you.

Or, in his heart, there is love for you, but his love is completely wrapped up in heavy grief and pain, which can neither be expressed nor felt.

However, you can choose how you want to be a daughter.Of course it is desirable to go home during the Chinese New Year, and filial piety is of course necessary, but filial piety and family affection should be natural and optional in addition to being necessary and necessary.If going home makes you so painful, if your father's indifference makes you completely unbearable, then why don't you go home during the Spring Festival?
Do your best, but let yourself go.

I have no way of predicting whether time will be able to mend the relationship between you and your father.I hope you guys can one day let go of your feud like Debbie and Carrie did.But no matter what, when your father gets old in the future, you have to fulfill the obligation of support, because human nature should ultimately surpass emotion.

And Xiao Pei asked me, will my boyfriend regret it one day, will unblessed love have eternal happiness?Let me tell you, even if the love is favored, blessed, and blessed by the whole world, it may not last forever, maybe forever is a legend.

So, it's not that we don't want to love, we just want to love, since tomorrow is so unreliable, then we will live for today.So Xiao Pei, you should especially love.

There is one thing I don't understand, and I am quite angry: why can a grown woman be forced to have an abortion? !

Xiao Pei, you have to remember that the right to choose your body is yours. How can you be so stupid and cowardly? Did they threaten you, coerce you, or hurt you? If so, you should call the police immediately.

If they're just meddling in their own business, so-called sensible and emotional, then you should let them go.Xiao Pei, you are the kind of person who is really reborn from the ashes, and you should live enough.

When I was in middle school, a boy in our class used to say, "Spin your life around." I really like this sentence.You should really round up life.You think you are not even afraid of death, are you still afraid of living?
Really, Qiuli and Xiaopei, I want to bless you: Be brave in the new year.

(End of this chapter)