Chance encounter

Chapter 8 A new life is to face our problems (1)
In this life, if you don't come, I won't grow old

Since love is mutual, why not "make do with it"?So I don't make do with it, and I don't want others to make do with me.

Miao Miao's letter

Hello fat!I'm 27 and still single.You asked me if I have a love history, sorry, I have not.Sorry to talk, mainly because there is no one to talk about.Maybe it has a lot to do with my own external conditions.

As far as I can remember, no one has ever chased me.Seeing those close female friends and classmates who are close to each other, one by one marrying into other wives, and they both fly away, while I am still alone, that feeling is desolate.I also had male classmates and colleagues who were infatuated by me, but these people who were infatuated by me later became famous.

It is said that men are visual animals, and women with poor appearance are destined to be miserable?Although it is said that some ugly women like Wuyan and Huang Yueying have found their own happiness and married outstanding figures in history, but I dare not have such a heart.There were a few times when someone set me up on a blind date, and I went there with a guilty conscience and tried my best to show enthusiasm. After dinner, I rushed to buy the bill, trying to win their favor.

When I feel sad, I think, my looks are all given by my parents, what can I do?But I'm not angry, can it be that people with bad appearance can only be single for a lifetime, or can only find the same kind?Can't find a Prince Charming?Really helpless.Can I ask for some comfort?

Lu Xiaopang's reply
Today almost everyone is mourning Mr. Yang Jiang.I am here to say some petty love things out of place, which makes me truly feel the insignificance and ordinaryness of most of us.Not everyone can live a legend like Mr. Yang, so at least we have to work hard not to live a bloody life.Let's answer the questions:

Someone asked, can a person with a bad appearance only be single or live forever, or can only find the same kind?This question finally made me happy.People are only allowed to set fires themselves, and others are not allowed to light lamps.We always complain that the world judges people by their appearance, but in fact we are not.Ask this girl, why not you?When you say "Then I can only find the same kind", you reveal all kinds of dissatisfaction.This is probably the reason why we are unhappy, that is, we always complain that the world is full of "prejudice", but forget that we are also "prejudiced".If I am not good-looking or outstanding, will no one love me?of course not.I think, to answer the question in the following three aspects.

First, about liking and love.

It's two different things.When we like someone, we will show a kind of nympho, for example, everyone likes Hu Ge, Huo Jianhua, Dou Sen, and I like it too.When you like it, you use your eyes, and sometimes your eyes are snobby; when you are cute, you use your heart.Our hearts, seemingly crazy, are actually sober. It can see through everything that is flashy on the outside, and only see a soul that makes you happy.Saying this sounds very mysterious and very literary, but it is actually the case.Therefore, we may like and be infatuated with many people, but in a certain period of time, we will only fall in love with one person.

Second, on the issue of appearance.

Body, temperament, skin, dress, conversation, and facial features, whether a person looks pleasing to the eye or not is basically determined by the above six points.You can rank the first five items by yourself. Anyway, in my opinion, no matter how you rank them, the five senses are ranked sixth.And the first five items can be made up and improved the day after tomorrow, so no one needs to be discouraged, no one needs to complain.It is normal to be born not beautiful, but not beautiful when you grow up, you can only blame yourself, not others.

Thirdly, on the question of what is to come.

You really don't need to ask me if I will "make it up". I don't make it because I don't want to be made up by anyone. In "Sleepless in Seattle," near the end of the film, Meg Ryan's fiancé, learning that she's in love with Tom Hanks, whom he's hardly ever met, makes a statement. He says, "I love you, But let's stop here. I don't want to be the object that others will settle for, and I don't want to be the object that you will settle for. The road to marriage itself is difficult enough, at least the starting point should not be so low."

Well, I very much agree with this passage.No one wants to be "suffocated" by others. We always think that we are the only ones who "suffer" others, so who knows?Maybe we are also being "made up" by others.Since love is mutual, why not "make do with it"?So I don't make do with it, and I don't want others to make do with me.I think this should answer the girl's question.Regarding love and happiness, I still think that when you are young, you should at least persevere willfully.

The right person, no matter where you are, if you don't come, I won't grow old.

Before kissing a prince, always kiss a few toads

A person with a playful heart is not a scum, but a person with a playful heart is still deceiving, a person with a playful heart is cheating people, a person with a playful heart is still duplicity, a person who is cheating, and a person who wants to occupy everything, especially, a person who has a playful heart. Those who have the courage to face reality and pay the bill are scumbags.

Qiao Yue's letter

Getting to know him is at work.He is handsome and talented, definitely the type that girls fall in love with as soon as they see him.He started pursuing me from the first day he knew me, but I always thought he looked like a playboy, so I didn't agree.But he never gave up, he was gentle and considerate to me, finally he was moved by his "sincerity", agreed to be with him, and had a relationship with him.

Then something I didn't expect happened.He often travels for business reasons, and he left the day after I had sex with him, and then disappeared.I'm panicking.The first time I encountered this kind of thing, I thought he had an accident and called the police, but it was of no avail.It's been a week since this happened, and I think I may have been cheated.So I searched his name on the Internet, and saw several Weibo posts about him, which were posted by a girl.I read the girl's Weibo one by one, and understood the relationship between the two of them.She is his girlfriend, and they have been dating for six years without breaking up.I looked at the date specifically and found that when he was courting me, he was still flirting with his girlfriend on Weibo.

It is said that women's intuition is very accurate, so it turns out that he is really a playboy.Now that I think about it, it’s ridiculous. It took me a long time to open myself and decide to embrace this person and this relationship. I didn’t expect that the one I hugged in the end turned out to be a liar, and I became an ignorant girl very cooperatively.But now I'm stuck in it. Every day I feel helpless, uncomfortable, very uncomfortable, and I can't work at all.I don't know how to face this matter, and I don't know who else I can trust in the future.This is a huge stain in my life, sister Lu Yu, what should I do to wipe it off?
Lu Xiaopang's reply
Qiao Yue, you managed to get my attention with just four words - a huge stain.Where do you suffer, why is there a huge stain in your life?What era do you think you are living in now?Do you want me to give you a chastity archway or something?Among adults, as long as you love me, it is not the turn of others to make irresponsible remarks.Moreover, people with flirtatious hearts are not scumbags, but those who are flirtatious are still deceiving, those who are flamboyant are cheating people, those who are flirtatious, cheating, and want to occupy everything, especially, flamboyant Those who don't have the courage to face the reality and pay the bill are scumbags.

Unfortunately, that's the kind of person you meet.Really, no matter from which angle you look at him, he is pretty scumbag, but it can be summed up as the following three crimes: first, being unfaithful to his girlfriend; No responsibility, not enough man.

Well, but you are also wrong.Your mistake is that you look at people too poorly.Didn’t the story or accident happen the night you just met?The time of dating at work is not short, and you still wishful thinking that he is single and has no girlfriend, this is really your problem.Moreover, a girl who knows she is in love with a scumbag but still has a deep love, is infatuated, confused, and has old thoughts, makes people feel pitiful, loved, and helpless.What to do, you look so inaccurate, and your heart is so traditional, I am worried for you in the future.

The solution is, when you meet someone you like in the future, you should either go to the outside to get to know them carefully, or you can simply and rudely ask the person directly: Do you have no wife, no girlfriend?There are no sexual relationships that may be beyond my capacity, right?The ugly words are up front.Of course, it may scare away reliable people, but it's better than meeting scumbags and hurting you again.

Well...it's perfectly normal that you're still in pain, it's just that you're suffering for the wrong reasons.Knowing that he is a scumbag, you still can't leave and still love him. Although this is silly, it is normal.Who has never been stupid in his life, who has "never fallen in love with one or two scumbags" in his life?However, it is not right for you to suffer from the stains in your life and how to trust others in the future.

I don't even bother to explain about the stains in life.As for how to believe again, I have to tell you one thing: life cannot go on without belief, and you must choose to believe.Besides, for a scumbag's mistake, why do you let the whole world pay for him?Qiao Yue, you have to believe that time is the answer and medicine for everything; you have to believe that as long as you live, the pain will pass; and you have to believe that before kissing the prince, we have to kiss a few toads by luck.

Love is nothing, deserves it, is willing...

If you love, you are tolerant, if you don’t love, then don’t waste time, because love is nothing, deserves it, and is willing!
letter from hill
According to the worldly perspective, I am already an older single young woman, not far from 35 years old.

Among the countless blind dates, there were a few short ones, ranging from a month to a few months.The current object is the longest we have been together so far, more than a year.

But in fact, shortly after our contact, there are some small things that make me feel that our values ​​​​are different.Although these things are considered trivial by many people, I don't agree with them. I don't know how Lu Xiaopang will think about them.

For example, when eating noodles together, the moment the noodles are served on the table, he will notice: Hey, there is more beef in your bowl than mine.Seeing that the drink at the table next to him was good, he ordered the same one. When the drink was served, he said, hey, her drink seems to be more than mine.

Once, he was hospitalized for a few days after a minor operation and hired a nurse to take care of him.The living expenses of the nurses range from 20 yuan to 30 yuan per day, and the employer decides how much to pay.He kept saying that the nurse took good care of him and worked very hard, but in the end he only paid 20 yuan a day.

Of course, there may be no right or wrong in this matter, it just makes people feel that he is stingy.There are still some similar things, which always make people feel uncomfortable.

It's okay for girls to be like this, but for boys, it's almost meaningless, right?Because of these things, I have been very entangled, thinking that he is not generous enough.

Some people say, I'm picky, why don't you remember the good things people have done to you?People go out to carry bags for you, similar to this.

Do you think so, classmate Lu Xiaopang?

I think, carrying bags and many other things, many boys can do it, but the problem will only be revealed when they encounter things.He is good at work, very motivated, and has a mild personality.So, very tangled, please help...

Lu Xiaopang's reply
Everyone, first of all, I would like to remind you that I am stubborn and extreme when it comes to issues related to marriage and love.

For example, I am opposed to getting married for the sake of getting married. If I can't find a suitable one, why make do with it? I think it's good to be alone.

I also don't believe in the nonsense that marriage and love are two different things. It is someone else's choice to maintain a marriage without love.So, if you want to find someone to encourage you, realistically looking for a partner in life instead of a lover, or you need someone to encourage you with words like "Don't do it, it's true to be plain", then please You go to see Aunt Wang who is next door to you.

I admit that I am not young, but I am still naive, anyway, I will not compromise.

Back to today's topic, 35 years old, so what?

I am most annoyed to talk about age. Of course, I especially agree with you to go on a blind date. What kind of active nympho chasing male gods, because in the process of hitting by mistake, you may find that true love.

But I am particularly opposed, because time is running out and I am not young, so I have to settle down quickly.

How long a relationship will last I don't know, but at least you should have that dazzled feeling in the beginning of love.Before you start living a life of daily necessities, you already see all kinds of dislikes from others, such as a few slices of beef, or whether you carry a bag or not, I am annoyed to hear it.

This, I don't even know how to define the relationship between you, I can only say what do you want him for?You definitely don't love him, not even liking him, so what are you wasting your time on?I don't know if you know what love is.

Let me give you an extreme example. The feeling of falling in love is that you know that the other person is a scumbag or a scumbag, and you will defend him;

So to sum up, if you love, you are tolerant, and of course love will be tolerant; if you don’t love, don’t waste your time, because love is nothing, deserves it, and is willing!
Of course, if you listen to me, you may be lonely forever or for a long time. At least, I hope you are mentally prepared and don't blame me, but my attitude towards life is uncompromising, why compromise?
If you really love him, you won't leave!If you leave, you won't come back...

You can't ask for love.We can go to heaven and earth, but we really can't make someone who doesn't love us, or doesn't love us that much, fall in love with us as deeply as we love them.

Letter from Maruko
I was with my ex boyfriend for over a year.When we were together for half a year, I got sick with ovarian cancer and would probably be infertile in the future.

Because of family opposition, we broke up, and I was also afraid that I would drag him down. He always wanted to have a complete family, wife, and children, but I couldn't give him the future he wanted.

For nearly a year after that, we separated and reunited, meeting without telling our family members.He loves me, even if I'm sick, he can't let me go, but I know he's struggling.

But after a long time, each other is very tired, I feel very insecure, just quarreling like this.When I found out that he had made a new girlfriend, I felt very uncomfortable, but finally accepted it.

Recently, I found that they did not go on.When I saw him like this, all I wanted was to go back to him, but I didn't have the courage.

Because I am afraid that he has let go, afraid that he will not dare to tell his parents that he wants to be with me, I am afraid that after being with him, he will still be so naive, unable to be wronged, and insecure, and I am afraid that we will end up procrastinating and delaying him. Career and relationship, especially since he is 29 years old, what he desires most is to get married and have children.

I do not know what to do.

Lu Xiaopang's reply
By the way, as I mentioned last time, I probably watched Sleepless in Seattle one hundred and one times during the New Year, and I have to continue today because there is a particularly important point in this movie, Meg Ryan (Meg Ryan) and Her girlfriend always watches an old classic movie called An Affair to Remember, which is translated into Chinese as "Jin Yumeng", starring Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr.It is about two people who worship money, meet and fall in love on a cruise ship, and then prepare to leave their current life in golden silk cages to pursue true love.The two of them made an appointment to meet on the top floor of the Empire State Building in New York, but the heroine was paralyzed in a car accident on the way to the appointment.For the sake of the hero's happiness, she lives alone and strong.The hero thinks the heroine has changed her mind.But in the end, the two meet by chance, the truth is revealed, and the lovers are finally together.

This kind of movie is really good, but watching too much is really harmful.

(End of this chapter)