The Sorrows of Young Werther

Chapter 6 5 ([-])
Sometimes my body would inadvertently touch Lotte's body, and then I would feel the blood in my body flowing rapidly.I was afraid that she would notice my behavior and couldn't help but want to move on.I've lost my judgment, and I'm afraid I'm about to lose my self-control.She seemed unaware of all this, and her thoughts were as simple as a child's.During the conversation, her hand would occasionally be unconsciously placed on mine; sometimes she would get very close to me just to have a better chat, in which case her breath would blow on me at any moment. My face was so intoxicating that I would even tremble like an electric shock and feel powerless.William, if one day I can't suppress the enthusiasm in my heart, how will things develop... But!I wouldn't do that, you know I'm not one of those scumbags, it's just going to hell...

She is my angel, my goddess.With her, I was as simple as a child, and like a child attached to its mother, I could never leave her.The piece she played on the piano let me see another talent of hers, what a girl full of inspiration!Her music can drive away all worries and sorrows.

I believe that music has a kind of magical power. Whenever I am bored and have a splitting headache, this piano piece happens to sound. Lotte’s fingers are jumping nimbly, and the dark clouds that have been circling in my mind for a long time are gradually dispersed in the sound of music. , slowly disappeared, and I was able to face everything in a refreshed state.

July [-]

My friend, I cannot imagine what the world would be like without love.A tiny beam of light cannot illuminate the boundless darkness, but we can appreciate the shadow pattern cast by the light on the walls of the room. Although its appearance is controlled by the light, we can still get a short-term happiness.Today I have a party that I have to attend, but I am eager to see Lotte, so I sent my servant to her place. I am excitedly waiting for the servant to return, and he will bring Lotte's latest News, I was so excited that I really wanted to hug the servant and kiss him, but I didn't do it because of face.

I've heard it said that Bologna stone absorbs the sun's rays during the day and emits the stored light at night.Now, my servant is a bologna stone, and Lotte's eyes have seen his face and clothes, and made him holy like a god!If anyone wants to buy my servant for money, it is delusional, and a thousand talers will not buy him.When I can't see Lotte, as long as he can accompany me, I will be happy.Hope you don't laugh at my idea.But at the same time, I am also worried that these beautiful things will suddenly burst at some point like soap bubbles.

July [-]

The sun was shining today, and my first thought after waking up was: "I'm going to see Lotte!" I don't want to do anything else except this, so that's it, I'm already looking forward to it.

July [-]

You want me to go out with the envoy to see the world, but I don't bother to do that.The envoy and I don't have the same interests and hobbies, and we don't like being called around.You also said that my mother also hopes that I can find a proper job. Isn't what I do serious?Don't look at me counting peas and lentils here every day. Although it is an inconspicuous little thing, as long as you peel back the so-called important things, you can find that they are actually insignificant little things.Only a fool would work hard to help others get what they want regardless of their own inner desires and expectations.

July 24
You reminded me to keep drawing, not to stop practicing, but you know, now I'm so full of Lotte that I can't think about anything else, that's what I really think.

I never felt that a stone and a tree could bring me much joy before, but now I realize that my perception has never been as full and sharp as it is now.

But I can't picture these feelings exactly, I can't grasp these unreal things; and then I think, if I had clay or anything that could be shaped, I'd make out of them everything that came to my mind .

I have painted a portrait of Lotte, and it is not yet finished. I have only painted three times in total, and each time it is not satisfactory. It is really depressing to think that I have not made such mistakes in my painting skills before.In order to comfort myself, I cut a silhouette of her so that I can see it from time to time.

July 25
Lotte, the note you write to me every day makes me ecstatic. Even if it asks me to run errands for you, I have no complaints. I welcome you to send me tasks. The only thing that makes me unacceptable is, There are quite a few grains of sand on your note. After receiving the note today, I kissed it happily, but I didn't expect to eat a mouthful of sand.

July 26
I have decided to reduce the number of visits to Lotte, but I cannot guarantee that I will keep the agreement.She haunts me all the time, but I have to suppress my desire and say to myself: "I can't go." But when tomorrow comes, my body and soul can't help but run to her, and I still can't find her. There are few reasons to excuse yourself.Sometimes she would ask me when we parted: "Will you come tomorrow?" See, how can I refuse her request?If I finish a task she entrusts, I feel compelled to go and answer her myself; or, on a fine day, I come for a walk in Waalheim, which is only half an hour from her estate, and I am like A nail flew swiftly towards the magnet.My grandmother once told me the story of the magnet mountain: when a ship is sailing in the sea, if it is attracted by the magnet mountain, all iron objects will leave the hull and fly to the mountain, losing the fixation of the nails, and the whole ship will be destroyed. It will fall apart completely and eventually sink to the bottom of the ocean.

July [-]

Lotte's fiancé has returned from a trip, and I can no longer see her.I can't imagine how frustrated I would be if Albert was superior and superior to me in every way!William, I can't ignore other people's eyes and forcibly snatch Lotte to my side. Albert will not agree with me.He was so perfect, everyone was such a pleasure to be with him, it's good that I didn't see him the day he came back, otherwise it would be a blow to me to watch them flirt with each other.He's a steady young man, and I haven't found him kissing Lotte in public.It can be seen that he has great respect for Lotte, and I admire this kind of person very much.He didn't show any hostility towards my appearance. Maybe Lotte mentioned me in front of him, and from Lotte's mouth, I knew that I was a nice person, so I got along well with him.Here I have to admire the superb means of women. Although it is difficult to achieve the desired effect, they are capable of balancing the relationship between two men who like them, and they can always benefit themselves.

Albert has a mature temperament, compared to me, I seem much more impulsive.He doesn't seem to have lost his temper. A bad temper is a sinful expression, and it's what I hate the most. I don't hate him, and I even admire him a little.

In his eyes, I am a knowledgeable person.He should have seen my admiration for Lotte, I am so obsessed with Lotte, I think he must be secretly proud of his fiancée's charm, but I don't know if he is jealous of my behavior, if he is because of jealousy If I were arguing with Lotte... If it were me, I would definitely take some action. I can't be indifferent when others express their love for my fiancée.

Now I can't stay with Lotte very often, Albert took my place, he is justified.When I fell in love with Lotte, I knew that everything I did would be moths to the flame. I couldn't get her promise. I knew this a long time ago. Every time I get close to each other, I will feel sad. In the end she'll be in someone else's arms, and that's what it is now, and I'm dumbfounded to see them together.

I had no choice but to beat myself hard and hard, to snuff out the remaining hope, so that I could give up completely.People are going around saying that things are done and you can't change them.I yelled, get out!Get out!These nasty people.I kept running, passing through one forest after another, and finally came to Lotte's gate. I saw Albert and Lotte playing in the garden, and they were sitting in the gazebo chatting. I couldn't control my emotions, and ended up Stuttering and unable to speak, I couldn't take another step forward.Lotte said to me: "Please don't do the foolish things of last night again! God bless me, I was frightened by you." Don't be afraid of your scolding, I'm like a hound now, as long as Albert goes out, I will Run quickly to meet Lotte, no one can stop me.

August [-]
People always think that they can't change the path of destiny, so they obey it obediently, but I don't.I don't mean to accuse you here, William.Although you have such an idea, although I have to admit that your and other people's ideas are correct, but, my dear friend, don't forget that there are exceptions to everything, and what suits others may not necessarily suit you.There are always some differences between things, such as nose, aquiline nose and lion nose are all noses, but they also have differences.I agree with you, and at the same time present evidence to overturn it. I hope you don't mind my behavior.

You told me: For Lotte, either stick to it or give up.I understand what you mean. If I choose the former, I have to pursue my dreams desperately; if I choose the latter, I can only do my best to forget her and all the joy she brought me.My friend, your words are so concise and to the point.

But I can't sprinkle salt on my own wounds. Who doesn't want to see a wounded person continue to torture himself?The injured person will not only be mentally exhausted, but the usual brave spirit will shrink deep into the body.

But you will tell me this: indecision will only make things more difficult to solve, it is better to cut the mess quickly and end the pain.As the saying goes, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain.But I can't make up my mind - well, let's get rid of these useless assumptions.William, I also thought about ending this at some point, and when I planned it, I started to implement it.

dusk
Suddenly, I found that a large part of the diary has been left behind. I opened the previous diary, and it clearly recorded the beginning and development of Lotte and me.Looking back at these diaries, I suddenly realized that my previous behavior was like a willful and rogue child, and I always thought I was rational and calm; even now, my childish behavior has not changed.

August [-]
Maybe I shouldn't be so obsessed, so I won't be as sad and miserable as I am now.The surrounding environment is so beautiful and pleasant, but my mood is melancholy.I know that happiness is buried deep in my heart, and I need to dig and discover it myself.In the villa, the old judge liked me, Lotte liked me, my brothers and sisters liked me, and Albert, who was honest and honest, regarded me as a member of their family.Albert would often go for walks with me, and we would chat about Lotte.He didn't feel jealous because of my appearance, and he always treated me gently.William, you can't imagine that our relationship can be so close, can you?This is really happy and sad.

He told me everything about Lotte: Lotte’s mother was a virtuous woman. Before she was about to die, she asked Lotte to manage the house for her and take good care of her father and younger siblings. She also entrusted Lotte to Albert. special.Since then, Lotte has fully assumed the responsibility of the hostess of the house, spreading her enthusiasm and love in this home. Although Lotte has to be responsible for many housework, the vivacity and innocence that a girl should have has not slipped from her. Walk.Albert said as he walked, I kept picking flowers beside him, and then weaved a beautiful wreath. After weaving it, I threw the wreath into the river and let it drift away into the distance.I don’t know if I mentioned it to you, but Albert found a job here, a job with a good income in the Marquis’s mansion, which means that he will live here forever, with Lotte.I have to say that he is a smart and capable guy, and I admire him a lot.

august [-]

Yesterday, I had a perfect show with Albert, thanks to his help.I wrote this letter in the mountains; yesterday I rode to Albert's lodgings to inform him of my imminent departure.I was standing in his room, walking and talking, when I happened to see two of his pistols, and I said, "I want to borrow your pistols, they'll come in handy when I'm out." He replied, "No problem, but these guns don't have ammo, they're just decorations, and you'll have to reload them yourself." I reached for a gun, and he went on, "These guns have given me some trouble, So I never used them again." His words aroused my curiosity, so he went on: "I took some small pistols with me and stayed at a friend's house for about three months. The guns were unloaded, so I never worried about them going off. One day, it was raining heavily, and I had nothing to do in the afternoon, and it occurred to me that I would be hurt and needed a pistol for protection. On a whim, I asked the servant to help me Wipe the pistol clean and fill it with ammunition, who knows that he even used the pistol to scare the maid, but the bullet hit the maid's right hand and her thumb was disabled. I had to pay her full medical bills and listen to her Constantly complaining there. This incident taught me a very profound lesson, and I never loaded my gun again. My friend, you know now that even the most careful people make mistakes, but not when disaster strikes. Is there any omen, but..." His words made me feel good, no matter how careful the consideration is, there will still be unexpected situations.But he is too careful with his words and actions, and has been babbling about which words are not used properly and need to be replaced. I have ignored his words, and now I am very upset. On the right side of the forehead.Albert snatched the gun away when he saw it, and asked in a reproachful tone: "What do you want to do?" I said, "It doesn't matter, anyway, there is no bullet in the gun." So what's the point of doing it? How stupid! How can people think of suicide, it's disgusting to hear."

I yelled: "People who think like you are also stupid. They never consider other people's intentions to do something, and then make unreasonable comments. You don't know what other people really think, you don't know their reason for doing it." The real reason."

"But you can't deny that, for whatever reason, there are behaviors that are inherently bad," Albert said.

I lifted my shoulders in affirmation, but then I said, "My friend, there are surprises in bad things that we don't expect. If someone steals because he wants to feed his hungry family Is his behavior good or bad? Or a husband who is angry because of his wife's adultery and kills two adulterous men and women, should he be punished? In addition, a man who is immersed in love and joy Who would blame her for the girl in Yuli? I believe that harsh laws and rigid scholars will also be moved by her love." Albert retorted: "People who are lost in emotion are on the edge of unconsciousness. Like a mental patient." "Haha! Then you're all normal! You ignore other people's madness, mock those who seem abnormal to you, and then thank God in your prayers because He didn't let You become outcasts. But I have never expressed remorse for being drunk or insane. I have my own set of standards to judge whether my behavior is appropriate. Those who achieve great things have also behaved differently from ordinary people , but people never felt like they were a bunch of crazy people."

"Usually people only need to see some people do unexpected things, they will conclude that they are crazy, pointing behind their backs and say: 'Look, this person is crazy, crazy!' In fact, it is the real ones who say that others are crazy. Crazy, it's ridiculous that these people still think they are right and omnipotent!" Albert interrupted me and said, "You are too extreme, you are now like those self-smart people you said We are talking about suicide, but you are talking about something else. In my opinion, people who commit suicide are cowardly, and it is much easier to kill themselves than to live with humiliation." His tone really made me Feeling offended, I want to stop discussing.What I exchanged for my sincere words were just his uninspired preaching, he has always been like this, and it is not a daily thing for me to be angry.I couldn't help but say: "How can you think that people who commit suicide are cowardly? You only see the superficial behavior and don't think about the inner reasons. It is cowardly for the people to rise up and resist in order not to let themselves succumb to the tyrannical rule Is it a sign of cowardice when a person bursts out his potential in the face of imminent danger and saves his own or the lives of others? It is also a sign of cowardice when a person can't bear the slander and humiliation of everyone, and fights with others in order to preserve his reputation? Dear friend, after hearing so many cases, you will definitely agree with me." Albert looked at me fixedly and said: "I don't mean to blame you, I mean, this is not the same as the topic we discussed before. It’s far away.” I replied: “My association ability is too quick, and some people have also raised their opinions on this, thinking that my thinking is a bit weird. Then we might as well think about the problem in a different way. If we want It’s impossible to know what a person thinks without having the same experience of talking about someone who’s carrying a burden and trying to lighten up.”

(End of this chapter)