Give you a company, see how you manage

Chapter 36 Saying "bad things" and listening to "bad things"

In fact, "bad things" are often not so "bad", but the people who say them just want to complain, and they don't necessarily have any special intentions.So, as long as you take it lightly, it can lighten.As a manager, I often encounter such annoyances - if there is a slight "trouble", "rumors" will be flying all over the company, which is very disturbing and can't work with peace of mind.If an employee reports some problems to you, the employee will be labeled as "snitching on the leader" in an instant, and will be quickly isolated and excluded.

Over time, no employees will come to you to "respond to problems" or "transmit information", so that you cannot grasp the real situation of employees and the real dynamics of the company; or, an employee will suddenly come to you with righteous indignation (or crying) This is to reflect that someone speaks ill of him behind his back, which affects his reputation, and hopes that the leader can "make decisions for him" and so on.But all of this is not the biggest headache for you. The ultimate manifestation of "rumours" is "gang struggle"-the company's "young people" form "small gangs" in groups of three or four, accusing each other of having problems with their "character" and talking about others' behind their backs every day. "Bad words" that undermine the unity of the department should be "expelled" from the company immediately.

In response to these disturbances, managers of many companies have "inexplicable headaches" and "take the trouble" but have no good tricks.As a result, many managers simply act as "black-faced Baogong" and draw a "red line" for everyone that cannot be crossed. No matter who it is, as long as "make trouble", both parties have to "leave".I don't have that much "free time" to deal with such dirty things.This trick is really effective, and the "red line" is immediately "silent".It's just a pity that all the problems have not been "solved", they have just been transferred to the "underground".On the surface, they are friendly, but they are still "fighting" behind their backs.It still makes our managers lose their temper.Fortunately, our managers have a high degree of "magnanimity"-out of sight is out of sight.Since there is nothing wrong on the surface, let's just treat it as "the world is peaceful".Why bother to embarrass yourself!

Let me tell you a little secret of psychology. In fact, saying "bad things" and listening to "bad things" are very common things, and there is no need to bother everyone so much.As long as you take it lightly, it can lighten.Believe me, no one is perfect, the spoon will touch the edge of the pot, no matter how good the relationship is, there will be times when they say "bad things" to each other.The "bad words" here do not mean that the other party completely "denies" you, nor does it even mean that the other party has any "maliciousness" towards you, it just represents a vent of negative emotions.In fact, "venting" is over, and nothing will change.But the terrible thing is that the psychological blow to people who listen to "bad words" will be severe. They will often take such "bad words" to the top of the list until they turn it into an "atom bomb" and completely blow up other people's lives. Do it yourself.This is the reason why it is easy to say "bad things" but difficult to listen to "bad things".To give an extreme example, whether it is parents who love their children a lot, or children who respect their parents a lot, in fact, they will inevitably say "bad things" about each other in their lives, but this will not hinder their love and affection for each other in the slightest.

This is actually two different things.Once we thoroughly understand this truth, we can become more relieved of the "blind and dark arrows" shot at us-in fact, when we think about it, we have also "fired arrows" at others.It's just that those who "shoot the arrow" feel relaxed, while those who "shoot the arrow" feel uncomfortable.Because of this, "bad words" must be treated with care, and it is necessary to "strict exit and wide entry".Similarly, "hostility" is often artificially "magnified" by us.In fact, other people's "hostility" towards you comes from yourself.If you don't like someone, you will show your "hostility" inadvertently and unconsciously, but this "hostility" will be accurately "captured" by the other party, thus attracting the other party's "hostility" towards you ".On the contrary, even if the other party has developed "hostility" towards you, as long as you treat each other with sincerity and embrace him with an open mind, even if he is suspicious at the beginning and refuses when he wants to greet you, the "hostility" in his heart will be resolved over time.Therefore, "he always dislikes me and is always against me" is precisely because you do the same to him.As long as you take the first step and take the initiative to "turn hostility into friendship", how can there be so many enemies in the world?Life is not easy enough. There are so many serious things to do. Wouldn’t it be better to be less “mutually hostile”, to be more open-minded, and to make more “friends”?

(End of this chapter)