Cosmic Transcendence Guide

Chapter 8 The Wanderers of the Galaxy

Life is actually not that important, sometimes it is not as important as a job. ——Zen Master Kongzhou

1
This man who called himself Ford suddenly appeared in front of Hun Hun.Hunhun was startled at first, and then suspected that this was some kind of test arranged by Kongzhou for it. If he followed his instinctive reaction, he would probably suffer more and more terrible tests.The test of the empty boat is always like this. I never know what is right, and I don’t know what to do if I do it right.

So Hunhun overcame his fear, desperately mobilized the "tyrannosaurus" part of his tyrannosaurus rex gene, howled, and approached Ford.

Ford waved a white towel and shouted, "Is there a robot named Cao De right here? Is this what you look like?"

Feeling insulted, Hunhu closed her big mouth and walked away.Cao De came out.

"I'm Cao De." Cao De also realized that the holographic image in front of him was probably his master (despite Chedan's objection, he insisted on calling Kong Zhou that way)
After the test arranged, he quickly revised the answer to get close to the Buddhist principles in his mind, "I may not be Cao De, I am just an illusion."

"Hey, I should have known that talking to robots would never end well, why can't you robots learn to love life?" Ford continued waving the towel, his voice getting louder with each waving, "Zen Master Kongzhou Are you there? I'm here to find Zen Master Kongzhou! I want you to do a salvation for me."

However, the simulation cabin on the ship is often adjusted. Sora bought some books and the latest parts by himself, hoping that the simulation cabin can simulate more scenes.The most practical one at present is the infinite expander, which allows the simulation cabin to have a space as large as the entire earth. Airships are often used to simulate the Jurassic.But because it is a second-hand commodity, there are often guide dogs who cannot find their owners in the Jurassic rainforest.

Ford was standing under a tree, shouting to the sky.Ford knew that it was meaningless to do so. The empty boat was definitely not in the sky. This was just an unavoidable and unintelligent subconscious action of intelligent creatures. There are many similar behaviors that cannot withstand scrutiny, and they are common in all civilizations in the Milky Way.

Kongzhou and Chedan appeared beside the big tree.

Che Dan: "Who are you and how did you get in?"

Chedan used what he thought was the strongest tone, but it still sounded very polite, while Kongzhou's question was much simpler.

Kong Zhou: "Okay, how much money do you have?"

"I don't have much money, but I can give you some weird things to make your simulation cabin more advanced, as well as my towel, and a book."

Ford looked at Chedan again, "Strictly speaking, I didn't come in. The one in front of you is a holographic projection. I hacked into your simulation cabin to talk to you."

Che Dan: "Can't you make a phone call?"

Ford: "It's usually said that you should call, but the situation is a bit urgent. I just got out of a chase. In order to enter your spaceship as soon as possible, I can only enter in this way."

Che Dan: "Is it to save yourself? Why did you come in? We are all door-to-door service."

Ford: "I've been looking for your ship. It's been a long story. Now the situation is that I have to come in. I'm hanging this towel on the outer wall of your ship. If my calculations are correct, it will break soon. gone."

2
Che Dan opened the hatch and let Ford enter the Naihe boat. He looks different from the holographic projection. After all, the current projection technology always adds the functions of beautifying the skin and thinning the face on its own initiative.

Che Dan: "You haven't said who you are and why you died."

Chedan thought about how he got to the Naihe boat, and felt that the second question was a bit redundant.

Ford: "My name is Ford, and I'm an investigator, or writer. This is a work I co-authored, a dictionary to help you understand everything about the Milky Way."

Ford took out a book from his pocket, with Don't Panic written in large characters on the cover, and with the help of Duoyancao's translation function, Chedan saw that the book was called "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

Che Dan: "You just said that the reward you can give us includes this book?"

Ford: "Yeah, you haven't heard of the book, have you?"

"I knew a person from Earth before, and I haven't heard of it," Ford sighed. "That's why I want to do a salvation for myself. I don't want to do this job anymore. I want to start a new life."

Che Dan: "So you are not threatened with your life?"

Ford: "Of course! Life is threatened every day! But after resigning, it should be gone. What's wrong?"

Che Dan: "However, super saving is only possible after you die... Do you know what super saving means?"

"Of course I know, there is nothing in the galaxy that I don't know," Ford said, opening the "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in his hand, and began to read, "Transcendence: Rituals that take place in places of worship and delis, when When a person is tired of the current life or the work he is engaged in, the dead person or animal that is dedicated to saving people will lie in front of him and listen to him recite scriptures, so that the person feels spiritually purified and starts a new life. While the outcome of the ceremony is often biased against its purpose, it can be described as benign and harmless compared to most other things that happen in places of worship and delicatessens."

After Ford finished reading, he looked up at Hunhun: "I know that you two are often used as salvation in the universe, so it must not be you who died. This dinosaur was raised by you to be used as a salvation for human beings, right?"

"Your name is Ford, right?" Kong Zhou said, "Ford, you are right to resign."

3
It didn't take much effort, Kongzhou and Chedan made Ford understand that the definition of transcendence in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" was wrong, and Ford had no problem accepting it, after all, there was nothing right in that book.

Che Dan still had a question that he couldn't figure out: "You resign as soon as you resign, do you need a ceremony?"

Ford: "I'm looking for you to save me-although I made a mistake-for two reasons: one is that I used to really like this job and I need to say goodbye to it; two is that you are from the earth, and I once knew a Earthlings, he has had a lot of influence on me and my career, mostly harmful."

Che Dan: "Then what does this have to do with us?"

"Look, this is the question you people on Earth always ask." Ford put away the towel, "It doesn't matter, I just want to spend the last adventure of my career with the people on Earth."

Che Dan: "Adventure? Who is going to take risks with you?"

"This is also a meaningless worry for you people on Earth," Ford looked out the porthole. "If you can choose to take risks, is it still called an adventure? Remember when I said someone was hunting me down?"

A shell exploded near the Naihe boat, the hull shook, and Kongzhou showed no expression.

Kongzhou: "Blow up my boat, you may really need to be overthrown."

4
Ford was hunted down by the Vogons, the savage demolition crews of the galaxy.Hearing from Ford, it was they who tried to demolish the earth, and in some parallel universe, this has happened.

The demolition only reflects their barbarism, and the cruelty is reflected in the fact that the Vogons will read poems to all the captured people, and few of those who listen to their poems can survive in good health.

Che Dan: "Why did they chase you down?"

Ford: "Because I put a lot of bad descriptions under their entry in the guide."

Che Dan: "Does anyone really care about your book?"

Ford: "I don't know, maybe they just want to read the poem to me."

However, the ship moved forward at full speed, and Cao De deftly manipulated the spaceship to avoid the missile.

Cao De: "Master, we don't have enough energy to continue flying at high speed!"

Che Dan: "Don't call me Master 'Master'."

Kongzhou: "What did you just say is the cruelest thing the Vogons can do?"

Ford: "Read poems to people, poems they wrote themselves."

"If your guide is written correctly this time," Kong Zhou flipped through the book, "they will let people go after reading the poem, because they don't think it's necessary to kill them, right?"

Ford: "Yes, you would be willing to be killed by them."

"Cao De, try talking to them," Kong Zhou was looking for a coat, "I'll go talk to them."

5
Sora is back in good health, and with what may be the first sober reading of Vogon poetry in the entire universe. "I think it's well written. If you read Chedan's love poems for Xiaobei, you'll think the same as me."

Ford was dumbfounded: "Then they also let me go?"

Kong Zhou: "I said you would revise the entry and attach my full review below. This is probably your last job."

Ford: "Did they say anything else?"

Kong Zhou: "It's nothing, just say that my poems are also very good."

Che Dan: "Master, have you read poetry too?"

Kong Zhou: "Am I as shameless as you? I read the Diamond Sutra."

"It's messed up, this galaxy is messed up, it's absolutely right for me to resign," Ford took out the guide and communication equipment, "I will modify it, but this needs to be reviewed by the people at the guide editing headquarters, although they probably won't read it carefully, Ugh."

Kong Zhou: "Remember to add money to me."

Ford: "I really have no money, except for the equipment I can give you, this favor, I will treat you to a meal and pay it back."

Che Dan: "Aren't you short of money?"

Ford: "I happen to have three vouchers, which were sent to me by the restaurant at the end of the universe. Believe me, the food there is worthy of this kindness. And my transcendence ceremony is also very suitable to be held there."

Che Dan: "You may still not understand, we can't save you while you're alive."

Ford: "Oh, I forgot, it doesn't matter, let's talk about it after eating there!"

All that remained of Ford's face was longing for the restaurant.

Chedan thought that it is good to live in the universe with such an attitude towards life, but writing a book like a guide really... Forget it, maybe just such a person is needed to write it.

According to "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", the restaurant at the end of the universe is naturally located at the end of the universe, where customers can enjoy the view of the destruction of the universe and some striptease performances.Entry is expensive, and there's a perennial queue - given its indeterminate position on the timeline, the queue is disproportionately large, and you'll often find yourself behind yourself in line.

Ford: "I've had a lot of stories here, too."

Che Dan: "You said you like this job very much?"

Ford: "This is literally my lifelong dream. I want to be a guidebook writer all my life. Unfortunately, the guidebook has changed now, and the universe has changed."

Che Dan: "What will you do after you resign?"

Ford: "Thinking about it, I might play cricket."

Che Dan: "What is that?"

Ford: "A sport on Earth."

Che Dan: "You like the earth so much?"

Ford: "I don't like it, and I don't like the sport, it's just that I found a junior team on Laer Star and they are willing to provide me with a jersey with the back number 42. I like this number. Actually I don't like it. , but people always like something, right?"

After the food was served, Kong Zhou continued to eat and ordered many kinds of wine, while Che Dan stared at the spectacle of the destruction of the universe outside.

Ford: "How spectacular, isn't it?"

Che Dan and Kong Zhou said at the same time: "Yes."

Che Dan's eyes were blurred with excitement, and he wanted to look back at his master and Ford for a sympathetic look, but found that the two were not watching the destruction of the universe, but were evaluating some kind of seafood that looked like the Orion Nebula on the plate.

Che Dan: "Don't you guys take a look?"

Kong Zhou: "What's there to see, anyway, sooner or later, I will see it."

Ford picked up the wine: "I used to think that I would be a guide writer until the universe was destroyed."

Kong Zhou: "You are too optimistic, most of us have to die before the universe."

Ford: "The guide headquarters are always in chaos. The editors don't care what we write, they only care about whether they can get promoted. Those of us who work outside are always not reasonably guaranteed, not to mention reimbursement and salary increases. What about the sense of honor? Can’t you even provide me with a sense of honor that doesn’t cost money?”

Kong Zhou still lowered his head and ate vigorously, took a sip of the wine before speaking: "But isn't this your lifelong dream? In order to realize your dream, you have to pay a lot."

Kong Zhou said to Che Dan again: "That's why I told you that people should not have dreams."

Ford drank a lot of wine, a little sad: "Yes, this is my dream, the dream I once said that I can give everything for it."

Kong Zhou: "Obviously, just after asking you to pay a little, you feel that it's not worth it."

Ford almost shed tears: "How can I do this."

Kong Zhou: "You don't have to be sensational, no one in the universe is like this."

"Damn it, this universe shouldn't have exploded in the first place." Ford drank too much, dropped his glass, and raised the bottle, "Cheers to the destruction of the universe!"

The scenery outside the window is extremely magnificent, and some customers have fainted from fright.

Ford's loud shout attracted many people in the restaurant, including some who were performing some kind of religious ceremony, and also raised their glasses.

"cheers!"

"For the destruction of the universe!"

"So that I don't have to go to work tomorrow!"

"For my psychiatrist!"

"Ford?! Get him!"

A voice sounded, and some unknown aliens rushed towards Ford from all over.Ford grabbed the towel that was just on his lap and rushed out: "Sorry! I can't keep this towel for you!"

Ford ran out, and suddenly ran back, Chedan saw a round-headed, unremarkable robot sitting at the table next to them.

Ford: "Marvin? Why are you here? Run!"

The voices of those who wanted to catch Ford became even more angry after hearing this: "Marvin is here too? Catch them!"

"Why, why did you come to call me?" The robot named Marvin ran calmly, or with a look of frustration, "Why are we running, and where can we go? This is already the universe. the end of..."

This was the last time Chedan and Kongzhou saw Ford.

6
The "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Milky Way" remained, and Chedan often read it. The definition of Buddha in it is: a male with a very high IQ, who once lived on the earth and is currently active in the Sansha galaxy. He is a famous local film producer. people.

Both the entries of "Vogon" and "Chaodu" have been updated. The former has Kong Zhou's uncomfortable reading experience, and half of it is to demonstrate why Chedan's poems are worse than Vogon's. Chedan doesn't want to Look.And the modification of the entry of "Exceeding Degree" is not so close to the original meaning, but it is really very happy to read it.

Transcendence: basically refers to all activities, as long as you can provide enough money or good wine, Naihe Ship, the only ship in the universe that is still engaged in the Transcendence industry, will send you services that exceed your needs, sometimes even completely in line with your needs on the contrary.

At the end of the entry is the contact information of Naihe Ship, and there is a parenthesis: This article is edited by "I don't plan to resign, and I don't have dreams anymore. Ford".

Che Dan didn't know what to read in this nonsense book, but it did accompany him through many empty times in the universe.

(End of this chapter)