I forget you in the depths of time

Chapter 191 But - That's Not Love
A very bloody fact, because of her high fever and the excessive shock and stimulation she received, it's not that she has no memory of the past, but she just has a vague impression.

I can't remember clearly, but that feeling won't change. When she sees Jin Jingyu as an adult, the deep-rooted dependence in her bones doesn't change at all.

So she will feel that Jin Jingyu is familiar, and she will feel that she wants to rely on him.

Funny to say, this feeling is a sense of security, right?

She is too lonely and too afraid to live alone, so there is a second person who is willing to live with her in her lifetime, and she pins all her emotions on the other person.

but--

This is not love.

This is just dependence, it is the affection of a younger sister to an older brother, and has nothing to do with Fengyue.

"Mommy..."

Song Qingyue gradually came to her senses, opened her eyes, and looked at the white ceiling in a daze.

"Mommy, are you feeling better?"

When she heard Shen Zhiyuan's little milk voice, she gradually regained her sober will. She turned her head and saw her son lying on the edge of the window with his small face twisted, looking at her nervously. A smile appeared in Song Qingyue's eyes, "Zhiyuan, mom is fine."

From the corner of the eye, Song Qingyue caught a glimpse of the man sitting by the bed, her eyes darkened, "Zhiyuan, good boy, let Grandpa Geng take you back, okay?"

"No, I want to stay with Mommy!" Shen Zhiyuan shook his head resolutely, making it clear that he wanted to stay by Song Qingyue's side.

"Be obedient, go back with Grandpa Geng first, and mother will come home later." Song Qingyue rarely showed her face to Shen Zhiyuan, seeing Shen Zhiyuan's wrinkled face and looking at herself pitifully, Song Qingyue sighed helplessly in her heart.

He was taken away by Geng Chen without turning his head, leaving only the two of them in the ward.

"Deliberately send them away, do you have something to tell me?" Jin Jingyu sat on the chair beside the bed with clear eyes.

Recalling the scene a few hours ago, Jin Jingyu was so frightened that his heart went into cardiac arrest.

She was brought out by the workers. It is said that the workers found her on the shore, wet all over, as if she had just been salvaged from the water.

It happened that the place where she was lying was by the lake. The workers suspected that Song Qingyue fell into the water, but they didn't know who rescued her.

When I went in, I was still alone, but when I came out, I was dying.

He hurriedly sent her to the hospital for first aid, but nothing serious happened.

Seeing her struggling to sit up, Jin Jingyu subconsciously leaned forward and reached out to support her.

"Ah Yu."

"Ok?"

Smelling the fresh gardenia fragrance on his body, Song Qingyue sat on the head of the bed with burning eyes, "You've been looking for me for so many years, isn't it hard?"

Jin Jingyu paused, and looked at her tentatively, "You...remember me?"

"Yeah." Song Qingyue's face was calm, "I was confused back then, and I didn't have a deep impression of the past. I don't know why, but I just remembered it."

"Just remember it."

Jin Jingyu nodded while talking to himself, his eyes fluctuated.

She knew what Jin Jingyu wanted to say, and before he started talking, Song Qingyue said, "I know that you have done a lot for me, and I know that you have always taken your promise to me to heart. You still remember me, but I forgot you, I am sorry for you."

"Except I'm sorry, I don't know what to say..." She paused, and then said again, "I said that, can you understand?"

Jin Jingyu lowered his eyelashes and didn't reply for a long time.

Silence spread between the two.

In the end, it was Jin Jingyu who was the first to break the quiet atmosphere. He pulled the corners of his lips stiffly, and a forced smile appeared on his overly charming face, "Understood, I also...have always regarded you as my younger sister, and I will do the same in the future."

Of course he understood, and it was precisely because he understood from the very beginning that he couldn't bear to break through the process of their acquaintance at the beginning.

Because he knew that he had lost a long time ago, and it had nothing to do with the past.

Even if he met her first, even if he had known her longer, he could not replace the person in her heart.

Perhaps, love has nothing to do with time.

It was his wishful thinking, mistakenly thinking that Song Qingyue would give him the same return.

"Do you hate me? At the beginning, I knew that Zhiyuan was still alive, and that Shen Yichen's time was numbered, but I chose to hide it. I didn't tell you the truth, so that you didn't even have the last time to get together. Do you... blame me? "As he asked these words, Jin Jingyu felt uneasy in his heart, and this was also the deadlock in his heart for the past few years.

While waiting for Song Qingyue to speak, Jin Jingyu felt anxious and nervous like a prisoner waiting for the final sentence.

Her expression was very subtle, she nodded, then shook her head and smiled, "Did you complain at first? I don't remember clearly, but I know that after he left, I didn't seem to care much about anything. Back then It's his own choice, he is so proud and self-respecting, he definitely doesn't want me to see him lingering and sick, I respect his choice and understand him, but... I won't forgive him. "

Her eyes were sour and reddish, her voice was slightly hoarse and trembling, "He threw such a big stall to me, and he clapped his hands and left. I also had a hard time." The most tiring thing was that she couldn't leave Come out of his shadow.

Occasionally, when I see someone who looks like him on the street, I will stop and look for a few more seconds.

She didn't know how those people who said they loved so much started again after the end, she only knew that no matter how hard she tried to forget, she just couldn't forget, but his appearance became clearer.

Just exhausting her energy, exhausting her courage, and loving someone without hesitation exhausted her courage, and now she has no extra ability to accept another person again.

"If I hadn't come to Shen's house back then, maybe I would have been happier?" Maybe she and Jin Jingyu would slowly come together and start another good relationship.

It's a pity that there is no what if, she went to Shen's house and met this man who had been entangled with her for most of her life.

"Ah Yu, don't waste your time on me." She sighed and shook her head slightly, "I can't give you what you want, you should find someone better to marry and start a family of your own."

"Of course I know, you think too highly of yourself." He teased with a smile, "Who said I have to be you? Didn't you think of you as a younger sister after all the talk?"

Although he was smiling, there was no smile in his eyes.

Long eyelashes draw back the loneliness in his eyes, he already knew that even if Song Qingyue remembered the past, he would not transfer his feelings to him.

He hated being a substitute the most, but he didn't mind being Song Qingyue's emotional sustenance.

Anyway, after waiting for so many years, what is this grievance?But this stubborn woman was unwilling.

That's right, there is only one heart, she gave it to Shen Yichen completely, how can there be any extra to share with herself?
"I want to go to Tzu Chi Garden in Tong'an tomorrow."

"What are you doing there?" Jin Jingyu frowned.

"I want to seek peace and blessings and pray for grandpa." Song Qingyue replied with a smile.

Jin Jingyu didn't quite agree with her idea. She just fell into the water and ran away before her body recovered. What if...

"Don't worry, I'm not a child, I can take care of myself." She said, "I want to trouble you, help me watch Dian Zhiyuan for the past two days."

"Oh." He responded in a low voice. Originally, he wanted to go with Song Qingyue, but he didn't expect Song Qingyue to block what he hadn't said so quickly.

"Why did you fall into the water when you were so good?"

Jin Jingyu suddenly remembered Song Qingyue's falling into the water, and felt uneasy. Could it be that someone attacked her?
"I don't know, it's just like someone pushed me in the back."

"So, someone really attacked you?" Who was it?He furrowed his long eyebrows deeply, "Could it be Ning Xiaoyuan?"

"I don't think...it doesn't look like it." Song Qingyue didn't know what to say, anyway, her intuition told her that the accident this time was not that simple, and it had nothing to do with Ning Xiaoyuan.

In fact, since Shen Yichen's death, Ning Xiaoyuan's temperament has also changed drastically. Except for making troubles with her from time to time at the beginning, Ning Xiaoyuan has almost no intersection with her.

On the day Shen Yichen's death was announced, Ning Xiaoyuan approached her. She said, "Tell me, where is he? The news is fake, right? He's not dead."

It was the first time she saw Ning Xiaoyuan showing a deeply sad expression, the bewildered and painful eyes, which did not seem to be fake, Song Qingyue's heart was startled, she thought, maybe Ning Xiaoyuan really liked Shen Yichen of.

She wanted to ask Song Qingyue where Shen Yichen was buried, but Song Qingyue didn't say. After annoyed her, she said, "I hate you. I hate you very much from the first time I saw you. In fact, I have known from a long time ago. Mom has an illegitimate daughter outside, I have known about your existence for a long time."

"Obviously a bastard, why is he so lucky to be adopted by the Shen family? Do you know? I think it's disgusting to have the same blood on your body! I know you like Shen Yichen, but you are not worthy! You are not qualified!"

"When choosing a university, I deliberately chose the same school as him. Everything went as I wished. When he fell in love with me, I knew that he would definitely fall in love with me compared to a sloppy gourd." When she said these words, Ning Xiaoyuan's eyes were full of complacency.

Gradually, the light in his eyes dimmed, "But..."

"He dotes on me in every possible way on the surface, but he never tells me that he likes me, never says that he loves me, and every time he gives me a gift, he picks out the things I don't like. , he never really understood what I like and what I hate."

As she said that, Ning Xiaoyuan stared at her with hatred, "But he remembers your habits. The first time I went to Shen's house for dinner, I heard him tell the kitchen not to put coriander in the fish soup, because you don't like it; Don't get taro because you're allergic."

"No wonder he goes out to eat with me, every time he deliberately tells the waiter not to put coriander, and never takes me to eat seafood, because you don't like it, why! Am I not better than you? Why can't he still fall in love with me ? Song Qingyue, I hate you, I wish you would disappear from my eyes immediately! Your existence is a humiliation to me! I don’t need Lao Shizi’s sister at all!”

(End of this chapter)